Made for You and Me: Going West, Going Broke, Finding Home

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Made for You and Me: Going West, Going Broke, Finding Home

by Caitlin Shetterly (Goodreads Author)

3.5 of 5 stars 3.50 · rating details · 241 ratings · 74 reviews

"Caitlin Shetterly's Made for You and Me is a beautiful, moving, haunting, and funny memoir about what really counts. It moves deftly and lightly between the west coast and the east coast, and frustration and hope, with pointed, buoyant lines that make you smile as they pierce your heart. Made for You and Me is a memoir about great people (with great dogs, too; funny how t...more "Caitlin Shetterly's Made for You and Me is a beautiful, moving, haunting, and funny memoir about what really counts. It moves deftly and lightly between the west coast and the east coast, and frustration and hope, with pointed, buoyant lines that make you smile as they pierce your heart. Made for You and Me is a memoir about great people (with great dogs, too; funny how that works out) and their great new son going through a rough patch with grace and wisdom. Caitlin and her family will realize many dreams. And in the meantime, rather than despair, they have given us a sublime gift of a book."
--Scott Simon, host of NPR's Weekend Edition Saturday, is the author of Baby, We Were Meant for Each Other
"A redemptive story of how Caitlin Shetterly and her passionately devoted husband fought life to a draw in their coast-to-coast-to-coast odyssey. Kerouac would be proud. In fact he might be envious."
--Peter Davis, Academy Award–winning director of Hearts and Minds

Newlywed Caitlin Shetterly and her husband, Dan Davis, two hardworking freelancers, began their lives together in 2008 by pursuing a lifelong, shared dream of leaving Maine and going West. At first, California was the land of plenty. Quickly, though, the recession landed, and a surprise pregnancy that was also surprisingly rough made Caitlin too sick to work. By December, every job Dan had lined up had been canceled, and though he pounded the pavement, from shop to shop and from bar to bar, he could not find any work at all. By March 2009, every cent of the couple's savings had been spent.

So, a year after they'd set out with big plans, Caitlin and Dan packed up again, this time with a baby on board, to make their way home to move in with Caitlin's mother. As they drove, Caitlin blogged about their situation and created audio diaries for NPR's Weekend Edition--and received an astounding response. From all across the country, listeners offered help, opening their hearts and their homes. And when the young family arrived back in rural Maine and squeezed into Caitlin's mother's small saltbox house, Caitlin learned that the bonds of family run deeper than any tug to roam, and that, with love, she and Dan could hold their dreams in sight, wherever they were.

Made for You and Me captures the irrepressible spirit and quiet perseverance of one small family--and offers to share that strength with any reader willing to make the journey.

"There's a story of this country that doesn't get told a lot. Or told well. Of what it's like to not make it. Of having to say to yourself, and to your spouse and your child ‘Listen, this isn't it. We need to try something else. We need to start over...from the very beginning.' Caitlin Shetterly's Made for You and Me is that story. Resonant and richly detailed, it takes you deep into the personal heart of the beginning of the financial crisis and the recession that followed. Then, somehow, via Venice, California, backwoods Maine and 3000 miles in between brings you out the other end."
--Kai Ryssdal, host of NPR's Marketplace(less)

Hardcover, 256 pages

Published March 8th 2011 by Voice (first published 2011)

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Apr 03, 2011 Cynthia rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: books-read-in-2011

Elevated by misfortune.

“Made for you and Me” is a surprisingly heartfelt memoir about a young couple’s search for MORE. They are creative people, Dan’s a photographer and Caitlin’s an actrees/writer, so Los Angeles seems the perfect place to go to get ahead in their careers. They say goodbye to Maine and their families pack their car and take off on an odyssey across the country. Along the way they have adventures and, being a writer, Shetterly begins sharing them via email with the folks back h...more

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Apr 20, 2013 Hyde rated it 3 of 5 stars

I enjoyed this book at the beginning, but about two-thirds of the way through I began to feel frustrated with it. I wanted to love it because I have so much in common with the author. I live in Maine, but have lived a few years in CA. I listen to NPR, enjoy good, local food, etc. etc. But what I could not relate to was how much good fortune she had that she did not seem to recognize. To start with she has incredibly supportive parents, the kind many of us wish we had. She calls her dad when she...more

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Nov 17, 2011 Melissa rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: library, memoir

Is that not the most gorgeous cover ever? It's spectacular, and the story that is Made for You and Me is one of the best-written and engrossing memoirs that I've read. It's the story behind the statistics of what has been, for countless people, the disappearance of their American dreams at the hands of the American recession.

It doesn't take a psychologist to figure out that the reason this one resonated so much with me is because I identify with Caitlin and Dan so much. Our story is very differ...more

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Nov 15, 2011 Jim rated it 5 of 5 stars

Caitlyn Shetterly, a writer known for her NPR pieces, and a Maine native, along with her photographer husband, head off to California following their dreams of making it big in the land of opportunity. There was just one problem; the bottom is just about ready to fall out of the U.S. economy, which is does after they arrive in California.

What follows is a harrowing look at the precarious nature of life for all but the richest Americans.

Shetterly, plagued by a extremely difficult pregnancy that...more

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Aug 02, 2011 Ellen rated it 1 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2011

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

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Jun 15, 2011 Terry rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoir, non-fiction

I realllly wanted to like this book more than I did. I feel that she sort of danced around the larger social/political issues of which she suggests her experience is a reflection--that is, she occassionally hints that her experience is symbolic of the unemployment/underemployment/enormous health insurance premiums catastrophe happening in the country today. But she never gets too deeply into the connection, and I think the book suffers a bit because of it. It ends up being almost too personal, i...more

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May 09, 2011 Michaela rated it 3 of 5 stars

I think it's a sign of a promising memoir that I wanted more - lots more - from Caitlin Shetterly's tale of, as the subtitle says, "Going west, going broke, finding home" during the 2008-2009 recession. As she often was in her relationship column for the Portland Phoenix, Shetterly is quite frank about the circumstances in which she and husband Dan find themselves as the economy craters, their jobs falter and Caitlin is overcome with crippling nausea from her pregnancy with their unplanned first...more

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Mar 15, 2011 KJ Grow rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoir

I like to tell people that reading a good "trainwreck" memoir is my greatest guilty pleasure. Women scorned, love lost, worlds unraveled - this is the delicious stuff of reality tv made all the more intimate when told long form in the author's own voice. I always have mixed feelings about these books - I respect the authors for baring their souls and revealing the messiness of their lives in such a courageous way ("unflinching" seems to be the word that appears on the flap copy of all these book...more

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Mar 29, 2011 Sarah rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: arc, own, nonfiction

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. Caitlin and Dan are newlyweds in Maine who hold onto that old-time vision of California as the promised land. As freelancers, they decide the best opportunities for their careers lie in the west, so they pack up their lives and move to Cali. And then the recession hits. Neither of them can find steady work, and the jobs Dan had scheduled keep getting cancelled. Soon, they are faced with a surprise pregnancy that leaves Caitlin too sick to even get out of bed most days. So, shortly after their so...more

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Nov 16, 2011 Sarah rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: nonfiction

I enjoyed reading this memoir, you really got a sense for the author and her family. In general I thought her writing made her story relatable, even in the parts where a lot of people who have written reviews have been annoyed: mentioning her weight or talking about having a mini-break down. I guess I find that sort of honesty where you admit about things you might not appreciate about yourself refreshing. I liked that she described how life is a total mess and you're just trying to get by while...more

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May 17, 2011 Maija rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2011

Memoir of a year in which the writer moves from Maine to LA with her husband, gets knocked up, struggles to find jobs in the rocky economy, and ends up having to move back to Maine to live with her mom.

This book was ok, but it didn't really move me or tell me anything new about the recession. The author was a bit of a complainer at times & that was tiresome, as she and her husband chose this path & took risks that didn't work out. They risked getting pregnant (and did). She had a rough...more

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Mar 24, 2011 Marcy rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: early-reviewer

I received this book as part of LibraryThing Early Reviewers.

Made for You and Me follows the journey of Caitlin and her family as they move across the country to L.A. follow their dreams, but are ultimately forced to move back east when they run out of money and job prospects. I could relate to the impulsive decision-making and the plan to leap and wait for the net to appear. They are a brave family clearly full of love and lucky to have so many people who love and supper them that they were abl...more

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Mar 14, 2011 Lulu rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: life-stories, funny-or-light, journalism

Although she shared her story via NPR radio diaries as it happened, I didn't learn about Shetterly's personal financial turmoil until I read an excerpt from her new memoir, Made for You and Me: Going West, Going Broke, Finding Home, in the Sunday crossword section (some people call it the magazine) of the New York Times. The excerpt intrigued me, in part because of the witty and poignant writing, but mostly because I couldn't believe Shetterly, someone whose work I admired and assumed would stea...more Although she shared her story via NPR radio diaries as it happened, I didn't learn about Shetterly's personal financial turmoil until I read an excerpt from her new memoir, Made for You and Me: Going West, Going Broke, Finding Home, in the Sunday crossword section (some people call it the magazine) of the New York Times. The excerpt intrigued me, in part because of the witty and poignant writing, but mostly because I couldn't believe Shetterly, someone whose work I admired and assumed would steady work stemming from her talents, had fallen onto hard times just like so many other Americans.

I bought the memoir as soon as it came out. Knowing I've had trouble with memoirs, I was wary, but as an avid NPR fan and someone huddling in grad school because of the recession, the story intrigued me. Shetterly begins at the end: she and her husband, Dan, her dog Hopper, and her new baby son lie in her mother's house in the woods in Maine, just back from an 11-day drive across the country. This drive, long and grueling, filled with strange motels and late-night stops to nurse the baby, was a dragging end to a yearlong odyssey.

After getting married, Caitlin and Dan decided to move to Los Angeles. The city held many possibilities for the two. Dan, a successful photographer who worked his way up from a trailer park outside of Portland, and Caitlin, who, besides Fault Lines, had written various magazine and radio pieces and founded a theater company near her hometown, seemed poised for a promising and successful start to married life in the new city. Only a few months after their move, an unexpected pregnancy arose, the crisis hit, and where Dan had been lining up job after job and traveling around the country and even to Europe, work suddenly dried up and left them with next to nothing to support a new family.

Throughout the ordeal, Shetterly manages to find a voice with the right combination of urgency and reflection. She describes in detail each step of trying to keep their new life together; the reader stays right with her as she sees the effects on her stalwart husband, as she struggles to stretch dollars at the grocery store, as frustration mounts in a series of apartments in the big, unfamiliar city that they can't enjoy like they thought they would be able to. The narrative has its choppy moments, but more often Shetterly's tangents - about childhood memories, about emotional transformations during the ordeal - serve to deepen the story and bring us closer to her experience. She pays careful attention to detailing the changing terrain as they drive cross-country (twice) and make the drastic move from coast to coast.

At its best, this memoir not only combines righteous frustration with the recession, a rich sense of place even when its author has just arrived in a new setting, and a frighteningly sudden and rich emotional journey; it holds beautiful surprises, big and small, like the way Shetterly writes about her dog and cat as essential parts of the family; her strong and beautiful partnership with Dan; the occasional simple and delicious sounding recipe, rattled off in the middle of a scene; and, especially, the kindness and generosity of strangers and far-flung family and friends alike. This chronicle of a hardworking and well-meaning couple's struggle amidst crushing economic forces reminds us, through Shetterly's eyes, that dreams and aspirations may well wither away, but there are forces within and without ourselves that will lead us survival, and, someday, to imagine new dreams, and live them out with the rich and deep background of having fallen down and gotten back up again.

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Oct 12, 2011 Shellys♥ Journal rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: year-2011, memoir, travel, library, non-fiction

I felt like the story was rushed. That she was breathlessly trying to tell us about the terrible, horrible, not so good, very bad thing that happened to them. While they blame the economy, some of it was just poor planning on their part, no contingency plan, and a want of more. Wasn't that what took them to the westcoast? Although she does appear to finally "get it" to the end, with the simplicity thing.

I wanted to love this story, the idea of going out to come back home, but really didn't have...more

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Mar 10, 2012 Michelle rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoir

It's hard to figure out what to say about this book without seeming cranky. I really do have compassion on this woman who did have a difficult time, whose family did suffer problems during the recession, a difficult pregnancy--I sympathize. I really do. If only the poor author weren't so woefully self-absorbed and clueless. I'm sure she DID suffer during these problems--but some of her suffering was because she has this view that the world sort of owes her a nice upper-middle-class maintenance,...more It's hard to figure out what to say about this book without seeming cranky. I really do have compassion on this woman who did have a difficult time, whose family did suffer problems during the recession, a difficult pregnancy--I sympathize. I really do. If only the poor author weren't so woefully self-absorbed and clueless. I'm sure she DID suffer during these problems--but some of her suffering was because she has this view that the world sort of owes her a nice upper-middle-class maintenance, so she can keep drinking gourmet coffees and seeing her acupuncturist and living in apartments that cost twice my mortgage and eating only fancy organic food and . . . feeding a 90 pound dog and . . .it just goes on. What on earth would this woman do if she had to have a real life? If she couldn't convince someone to pay her to "work with a theater company" and do "audio diaries" and write a book? Her entire "disaster" encompassed just a few months--does she not realize some people live this way for YEARS? And don't write books about it? I confess I could work up even more sympathy if she hadn't whined about having to feed her family---TWO people (nursing baby hardly counts) for only ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS A WEEK. But then, her huge dog needs homemade lamb and organic dogfood, and they eat only organic, and . . . sigh. She gives birth in what sounds like a luxury hotel, and then complains about the price of the delivery? Does she not understand things COST? Everything isn't FREE? She complains once about having to make menu plans, since it's so tedious, but then, they do save money. Well, honey, I've been doing menu plans for twenty some years and it never occurred to me to even think it was tedious. What other option is there? This lady really needs to be writing a book on what a tremendously blessed life she has, that she came nowhere near dying in a gutter (despite all her talk about "survival" and clinging to life) even when she had problems, that she and her family are healthy and warm and fed, that she has family and friends who helped her out. Sigh. Wonder if this "writing about hard times" shtick can turn a buck for more than just her? LOL Maybe I'll try my hand, I could surely write a much longer book. Just kidding. But man. (less)

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Feb 27, 2011 Robin rated it 5 of 5 stars Recommends it for: Book Groups

Shelves: memoir-autobio, book-group-worthy

It’s easy to think many who were hit hard by the recession of 2008 were those who bought overpriced houses and maxed out their credit cards by buying luxury items, but there were others who just suffered from bad timing.

In 2008, full of hope and the promise of a becoming more successful in their free-lance careers, Caitlin and Dan loaded up their car, and along with Hopper the dog and the cat Ellison left their home state of Maine and headed to Los Angeles. For a while everything was fine (excep...more

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Apr 10, 2011 Liza Bakewell rated it 5 of 5 stars

This is a love story, first and foremost, about a young couple, in love, who venture West from the East, imagining themselves, or at least the author imagining themselves, as a contemporary Little House on the Prairie family. They are in love with the U.S., being young and alive, with dreams of prosperity and excellence. But what happens is not what they dreamed. Nevertheless, the love story prevails. It is easy to read. There are lots --but not overbearing-- references to literature, song, and...more

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Apr 10, 2011 Mandy Faust rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: read-in-2011

I thought this book would be about Shetterly's journey across the U.S. and her blog based on the blurb on the back of the book. However, it was more about the story of her and her husband's decision to take a huge risk to move across the country and how that decision "failed." The story is timely given the state of the economy, and while I enjoyed the book, I couldn't help but feel as if a piece of the story was missing. I would have thought Shetterly's theater company would have been more cruci...more

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Dec 02, 2012 Lucia rated it 3 of 5 stars

Caitlin Shetterly's Made for You and Me, Going West, Going Broke, Finding Home is a great read for anyone who has lived in Maine.

I appreciated the bits of Maine she wove into her memoir: such as the usage of the phrase, "people from away"

At times I could picture myself in the places in Maine she lived and visited.

However, I didn't find her part about living in the LA area particularly interesting. Although thinking about it, the whole point of the book might be to compare how horrible living and...more

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Apr 07, 2011 Benita rated it 3 of 5 stars

Caitlin Shetterly's audio diaries on NPR about her and her husband's attempt to make a life in L.A. just as the recession began introduced me to her story, so I wanted to read her book when it came out. Her insights at the end were the best part of the book--lessons learned through facing financial hardship, asking for help, returning to Maine, and then getting back into a position to pursue their dreams. I loved that part of the story. Her language would be offensive to some of my friends, thou...more

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Mar 29, 2011 Melanie rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: read-in-2011

I received an ARC copy of this book. Caitlin and her new husband Dan leave Maine to try their fortunes in California. Not only is it a love stroy of Caitlin and Dan, but there is a sub-plot of a love story with the state on Maine. I maybe picked up on that more than others as I grew up there and feel the same way about the state. I must say I really enjoyed the book and would have given it 4 stars if not for the overabundance of the F-word. Surely a writer with the skill of Ms. Shetterly can fin...more

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May 09, 2011 Ellenh rated it 4 of 5 stars

I got this book thru Librarything Early Reviewers.
As I read this book I thought I could hear Caitlin on NPR and imagining their travels. I loved her wit and warmth, as they piece together their life fromthe craziness it has become. The story is so much what many went through during these years from the good year to 9/11, the bust, recession and on. It was good to hear it from someone who made the trip so well. Her family struggles were so down to earth. But her cooking, I want to eat in her kitc...more

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Mar 16, 2011 KrisT rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: read-2011, tbr-2011

For some, finding their place in the world is easy, for others, the journey helps you define your place. In this moving account of Caitlin Shetterly and her husband Dan, this was anything but easy. The couple face choices that take them from their comfort zone to unexpected surprises and heartfelt moments of sadness and joy. The economic crisis in America has touched us all. What you choose to learn, do and be when facing a tough roadblock is up to you. This is a really touching story. I hope th...more

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Oct 11, 2011 Kjonsson rated it 4 of 5 stars

I liked this book a great deal, not because it was a great peice of literature, but more because I related to the author and her struggles. Having been through the "poorer" side of marriage, I really could feel her pain, exhaustion and determination. I also commend her for her bravery in being so transparent with her feelings and percieved shortcomings. I am going to recommend it to my daughter who is turning 18 this summer. I think it is a cautionary tale for young, idealist, educated people wh...more

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Apr 13, 2011 Joan rated it 4 of 5 stars

Even though I hadn't heard Shetterly's NPR reports I really felt that I got to know her in this book.
It was a humbling read; anyone who is making it through the recession relatively unscathed by unemployment or foreclosure should feel obligated to take the time to read this book and through Shetterly's detailed account feel a little of what real people have been experiencing. It is a well written, easy read, and while I accept people's criticism that it was too self focused with not enough anch...more

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Jun 18, 2011 Myr rated it 1 of 5 stars

Self-absorbed Drivel. A princess finds out that life doesn't always hand you what you want, poor thing. Desperately attempting to draw parallels between her life and , first, that of Laura Ingalls Wilder and then Mary, yes That Mary, the author tries hard to pad her yawn inducing " memoirs". The mostly fluff narrative is speckled with oddly placed recipes and synonyms freshly plucked from the pages of Merriam-Webster. The stories aren't all that interesting and in the end her hardships aren't al...more

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Nov 12, 2011 Karen rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: memoir, from-real-life

I love books written by Maine authors and if it's set in Maine too? Well, that's a huge bonus. Right at the beginning (p. 53),this statement, "Maine, more like a family member than a state..." grabs you and pulls you into Caitlin's story about the journey she took with her husband to California to start their lives together. Their philosophy is summed up in this quote she offers (p. 72)by Helen Keller: " Life is either a daring adventure or nothing." The reader gets a glimpse inside the lives of...more

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Apr 10, 2011 Erin rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: bio-memoir

I think it's important to remember that Made for You and Me is a memoir, one person's experience of a certain point in her life and in American history. It's not a how-to book; Shetterly isn't giving advice to others in similar positions. She's also not trying to compare her situation to those of others in any sort of mine-is-worse-than-yours sort of way. Rather, she is sharing her family's story, with its good decisions and its not-so-good ones, its ups and downs as they, personally, experience...more

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Mar 18, 2011 Eliza rated it 2 of 5 stars

The premise of this memoir appealed to me but the actual book left me distinctly underwhelmed. The bulk of the narrative felt like a hurried summary of events (this happened, this happened, this happened, and I felt like this) with no real depth or analysis. In fact, Made for You and Me made me appreciate recent memoirs I read by authors like Kate Braestrup and Claire Dederer. They may make it look easy, but it's not. I felt like I should have more sympathy with the author, who certainly had an...more

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Apr 10, 2011 Carly Thompson rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2011, contemporary-issues, travel, biography-autobiography

A memoir about the hardships faced by a young couple during the Great Recession. Caitlin and Dan decide to move from Maine to LA for better job opportunities in their fields (he is a photographer & she is a playwright/writer). After some brief initial success, the bottom falls out and broke and with a new baby they move back to Maine and live with her mother.

I had difficulty relating to their struggles (even though I have had difficulty finding jobs). So many people have hard luck stories t...more

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About Caitlin Shetterly

Caitlin Shetterly is a frequent contributor to National Public Radio where she reports on arts and culture, food, and lifestyle. She can be heard on both All Things Considered and Weekend Edition. For Weekend Edition, she created a series of autobiographical audio diaries about the Recession under the title Diary of a Recession. These diaries, along with her blog, Passage West, inspired her memoir...more

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“There's something about being from Maine that you can never let hold of - the pointed firs and feathery pine trees, the wide open sky and stars and moon on a cold night, the ocean, which smells of this wonderful mix of saline and savory, and the colors - deep golds and reds and browns in the fall lit against a perfect blue sky; the lush, wet greens of summer and clean, white snow of winter piled against dark, stoic evergreens.” — 1 person liked it

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