Bringing Metal to the Children: The Complete Berzerker's Guide to World Tour Domination
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Bringing Metal to the Children: The Complete Berzerker's Guide to World Tour Domination

3.66 of 5 stars 3.66  ·  rating details  ·  185 ratings  ·  37 reviews
So you've watched the movies This Is Spinal Tap and Monty Python and the Holy Grail a hundred times each, and now you desire another brilliant opus to tickle your cranial sponge in a similar fashion. Well, look no further, fellow Berzerkers! Golden god Zakk Wylde and his brother-in-Metal Eric Hendrikx are about to take you on a Black Label Crusade of World Tour Domination,...more
Hardcover, 320 pages
Published April 10th 2012 by William Morrow (first published May 1st 2011)
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Marni Berg


Ive seen some other reviews saying this book was for men because of all the "toilet humor" in it, I happen to be a woman who loves BLS and "toilet humor" :) it was a fun read that made me laugh outloud. Exactly what I expected. Zakk way to GIFD! SDMF
Hunger For Knowledge
I am not quite sure what this book tried to be, so I am not aware did it succeed or fail at it. But what I do know is that this really didn't work for me.

Look, most of my friends have always been men. I have always enjoyed more male company as I have always felt being more connected to a male personalities than a female. So yes, I have had my fair share of toilet humor and everything that usually comes with being a man. And to be fair, I do enjoy it. After all, my biggest hero probably is Cartm...more
Rachelle Olson
Just to make it clear... I have not read one of the reviews about this book yet.

This book was nothing but a disappointment. OK, granted... I'm not a middle-aged world-famous guitar player from Jersey. I AM, however, a middle-aged rocker chick from Jersey. That said, I won't be spending weeks on end with a bunch of beer-guzzling metal men on a tour bus. I know this. But, honestly, there is a lot of ass and poop talk. Ass, puke and poop. It sounds more punk rock than metal, but yeah. That's pretty...more
Steve
Horrible. I didn't expect this to be a literary masterpiece, but I did expect some cool stories. Nothing. Even the editing is horrible. Paragraphs are repeated. This reads like a middle school project.
Andreas Mob
Absolutely hilarious book! What makes me love this book aside from the superb humorous tour stories is that it reminds me of the days that I, too, wished to become a rock star and play in a band and tour all over the world playing music. This happened in my high school days so it's linked with various happy moment of throwing down with friends. Now, I'm not so fond of that life but it is still nice to be reminded of old ambitions.

Another great aspect of the book that everyone should read, is th...more
Sara
It was entertaining, silly, and gross at times. It didn't have as much of a narrative as I was expecting. Instead, it was more of a grouping of anecdotes. Still, it was fun and worth it.
Philip
Zakk Wylde is known throughout the music world as one of the most prolific guitarists in modern music history. His chops are unequalled. That he's been part of fellow legend Ozzy Osbourne's camps only adds to his reputation. Now, the man who heads up the Black Label Society worldwide can add one more title to his resume. That title is author. And his new book, Bringing Metal to The Children: The Complete Berzerker's Guide to World Tour Domination is an amazing look behind the scenes at life on t...more
Laura Lynch
One would expect a book written by Zakk Wylde (with Eric Hendrikx) to be filled with wild tales of drunken escapades, destruction and daunting music. Yes, Bringing Metal To The Children - The Complete Bezerker's Guide to World Tour Domination has plenty of sordid stories of sex, alcohol and rock and roll - but, Zakk counters his course commentary with common sense advice on the music business and life in general.

Zakk is a man of faith and has the spirit of a fighting Viking. His Catholic backgro...more
Oleg
Zakk Wylde, one of the best guitarists in the metal/hard rock scene, has written a book full of hilarious stories during his career as a touring musician. The stories span from his beginnings, to joining up with Ozzy, to going solo, and continuing with his main band Black Label Society. He pokes fun at the co-author Eric Hendrikx, band members (mostly bassist JD), band management, friends, and family (especially his wife Barbaranne). Hilarious Ozzy stories are found here too, which are always go...more
Chris Rode
This made me feel like I was sitting at a bar, hanging out with Zakk, listening to millions of war stories. Not just your average autobiography. Funny and entertaining. Definitely recommend to any metalhead.
Breanne
This was trully an entertaining book!! Anyone who is a Zakk Wylde fan must read this book. The passion that he has for what he does and those around him clearly shines through the words in this book. For those who know, his wit and overall charm radiate loudly from these pages. There were several times I literally laughed out loud. I couldn't help myself. There were other times that the imagery was more than what I wanted to imagine, but hey. That's Zakk Wylde for you. A definite good read. This...more
Miles Rose
Is it a well-written book? Heeeeell no! Is it a fun, good thing to snatch to read a few paragraphs while waiting for a bus or something to load? Perfect for that.
Jimmy Locke
Killer Book,Man!His insight about the industry,and intense drive was very inspiring!!!
Bannon Trenton
I thought this book was funny as hell. such an amazing musician! !
Karsten
Unreadable. Still a huge fan of Zakk as a musician.
Melinda Heans
I thought it was funny...
Jane
I received this book for Christmas from my husband who is trying to turn me into a metal-head. I must admit I didn’t know who Zakk Wylde was until I read this book and it is not a book I would usually pick up to read as I'm not into the metal scene. That said, however, I really enjoyed reading this book. As well as being laugh out loud hilarious in parts, it was also inspiring for an aspiring musician such as myself. In Zakk's words "At the end of the day, play what you love and what moves you....more
Deyara
I read this pretty much straight after reading Gene Simmons Sex Money Kiss and it made me laugh, they both talk about the same thing - getting there takes work, and you need to stop messing about, work hard, and get it the fuck done. I like Zakks stylings more, so I preferred his book, but they have a lot in common. They are also a bit repetitive - both have some passages that seem pretty much the same.
Danielson Stabile
I love Zakk, and this book - his hilarious outtake on life - just makes me wish I could hang out with the guy even more. Funny stories from his personal life, tour bus, touring, and band mates (seriously, i was laughing outloud at parts). LOTS of toilet humor (literally), dick jokes, and other debauchery. I rank this book up there with Mötley Crüe: The Dirt. Overall, great message for aspiring artists: it's relentless, never ending hard work to make it, and you will be taken advantage of by anyo...more
Georgie Lowery
I know some folks didn't like this book because it wasn't serious enough, but those folks must not know anything about Zakk Wylde. They've also likely never seen any of his interviews or even the Overlord video.

Seriously, this book is insane. In between hilarious road stories, poop jokes and those slightly creepy Viking interludes, we learn a lot about the business and Wylde's road to success.

In a lot of ways, this is the ideal rock star memoir.
A. Hotzler
Zakk is very funny (lewd and sometimes offensive), this is still quite a comedic achievement. The Blonde Bomber takes you on a personal, yet universal, journey in the music industry, while supplementing the story with personal insights and gems of wisdom.

If you like the music and Zakk's personality, definitely read; if you don't like bathroom humor, don't even look at the book; in fact, if you touch it, wash your hands immediately.
Kevin Brown
The book is listed as music/memoir but it should be under humor/sex guide. Zakk is a great guitar player but this book is a joke. Would have loved to know more about his playing and music related stories. Not the stupid jokey monologue about having sex with his wife. I give her credit for being smart enough to not allow him to put her picture in the book. A disappointing read.
Snem
Very funny, very entertaining and Zakk seems like such a likable guy I can listen to his war stories from the road all day long. I wish it was a wee bit more serious at moments. I recommend this to all Zakk/Black Label Society/Ozzy/metal fans and I don't recommend this to anyone easily offended by sexy talk and poop humor.
Mary
Being a fan of Zakk Wylde for many years, with his incredible music skills, I expected more. Such a disappointment, the book is crude and full out foul language. I guess, I had some romanticized notion that someone with so much talent would have more to say, and be a bit more of a gentleman, despite it all.

Patrick
Meh? Is that what the young people are saying?

Whilst his music is fine, his ability to tell a story without lapsing into the same viking/shagging/pooping line of faux-polemic rambling suggests that he might want to avoid writing any further autobiography.

Not even recommended to fans, frankly.
Rosie
I have to admit that this book was entertaining. Full of toilet humor, and ridiculousness i wouldn't expect less from Zakk Wylde. Not recommended for anyone who can't handle A LOT of talk of poop, piss and other bodily functions.
Colin Smith
GIFD! This book is absolutely fucking hilarious! I'm sure some will say it's low class humor but I have to admit I burst out laughing almost constantly while reading this. Hell I almost puked my guts out laughing.
Debbie
I loved it not because he's a rocker but because he has heart and soul ... he touches me on many levels with his humor, music, and charm.... I've never met him (although I am hopeful that I can some day)
Antóin
Just finished reading this for the second time such a funny read and also can be a good kick up the arse for yourself G.I.F.D
Zakks humour is as over the top as one can get but then again it's ROCK N ROLL
Melissa DeGott
I absolutely loved this book. Zakk Wylde is my favorite guitar player and a huge inspiration to me. This book kept me entertained throughout all the pages! SDMF!
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Bringing Metal to the Children: The Complete Berserker's Guide to World Tour Domination. by Zakk Wylde Foreword by Rob Zombie The Best of Zakk Wylde [With CD with 3 Full-Performance Bonus Tracks] Zakk Wylde Anthology Zakk Wylde Anthology Songbook (Play It Like It Is Guitar) Zakk Wylde - Guitar Play-Along Volume 150 (Book/CD)

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“Victory is for the fucking brave, not the timid and excuse-riddled weak.” 0 likes
“Victory is for the fucking brave, not the timid and excuse-riddled weak. And like I’ve said, a lion is a fucking lion and does not need to be told, or reminded, what it is and what it has to do. So roll up your sleeves, hike up your skirt, and let the balls—or in my case, labia—that the good Lord gave you hang down, and get to fucking work.” 0 likes
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