Love Is a Mix Tape: Life and Loss, One Song at a Time

by Rob Sheffield

book data

3,508 ratings, 3.75 average rating, 890 reviews (more data...)

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4		38%
3		27%
2		7%
1		2%

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published

December 4th 2008 (first published 2007) by Three Rivers Press

binding

Paperback, 240 pages

isbn

1400083036 (isbn13: 9781400083039)

description

What Is love? Great minds have been grappling with this question throughout the ages, and in the modern era, they have come up with many different ans...more

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11/08/07

Heather rated it:

(review of isbn 1400083028)

Read in May, 2007

Love Is A Mix Tape just absolutely knocked my socks off.

I devoured this book in one weekend and enjoyed every single page, heartily. This is ostensibly a book about mix tapes, and looking back at a life spent seeing the world in a series of 45-minute vignettes (then, of course, you flip the tape over). Rob Sheffield has penned an honest (yet wildly entertaining) book that affected me more deeply than any book I've read in recent memory, woven throughout with a genuine and bleeding lo...more Love Is A Mix Tape just absolutely knocked my socks off.

I devoured this book in one weekend and enjoyed every single page, heartily. This is ostensibly a book about mix tapes, and looking back at a life spent seeing the world in a series of 45-minute vignettes (then, of course, you flip the tape over). Rob Sheffield has penned an honest (yet wildly entertaining) book that affected me more deeply than any book I've read in recent memory, woven throughout with a genuine and bleeding love for music. It's electric.

The meta-theme of the book is great love, great loss, and the soundtrack: his relationship and marriage to Renee, a girl who he says was "in the middle of everything, living her big, messy, epic life, and none of us who loved her will ever catch up with her." Rob loved Renee, and chronicles that here beautifully from their first meeting to her sudden death at 31.

Parts of the book are evisceratingly intimate. Sometimes I felt almost too close to his darkest and most intimate moments, and it's hard to phrase this right but -- because I knew so much of the music that weaves throughout their stories, I almost felt like I had a personal stake. I kept thinking that it was surprising to find a story so real and honest and intimate when I initially picked this up because, duh, it's about mix tapes.

If you don't like reading about other people's love stories, you should still 100% read this book. Renee was his muse, but his passion (and hers) is thoroughly and unabashedly music -- and there is some absolutely fantastic stuff in here. He writes of their relationship, "We had nothing in common, except we both loved music. It was the first connection we had, and we depended on it to keep us together. We did a lot of work to meet in the middle. Music brought us together." They were both music writers and radio DJs, they fell in love hard and married young. They made lots and lots of fabulous mix tapes, and each chapter begins with a reprinted tracklist from one cassette from that era in their lives.

This is a man after my own heart. How could I do anything but love a man who starts chapter 14 with: "Every time I have a crush on a woman, I have the same fantasy: I imagine the two of us as a synth-pop duo." He goes on to elaborate how she is in the front ("tossing her hair, a saucy little firecracker"), stealing the show and he is hidden in the back behind his Roland JP8000 keyboard, "lavishing all my computer blue love on her."He even lists all the best band names he's come up with for their synth-pop duo: Metropolitan Floors, Indulgence, Angela Dust.

And you should hear him wax poetic about mix tapes. Be still my heart. Rob writes, "There are all kinds of mix tapes. There is always a reason to make one." He then gives his examples:
The Party Tape
I Want You
We're Doing It? Awesome!
You Like Music, I Like Music, I Can Tell We're Going To Be Friends
You Broke My Heart And Made Me Cry and Here Are Twenty or Thirty Songs About It
The Road Trip
Good Songs From Bad Albums I Never Want To Play Again

. . . and many more. "There are millions of songs in the world," he writes, "and millions of ways to connect them into mixes. Making the connections is part of the fun of being a fan." The book starts with Sheffield pulling out a box of old tapes and all throughout the book --from his childhood school dance recollections, to the first mixes he can remember making for Renee, to the ones that accompanied him in the dark days and months following her death-- the mix tapes and the songs are as much characters in this story as the actual people are.

Since each of us have our own completely sovereign and self-focused memories surrounding our favorite bands and favorite songs (the unique feelings, smells, companions, activities associated with them), there is something that I just find so ebullient about "seeing" all these bands and songs through the unique rubric of their lives. A MUST-READ.(less)

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08/26/07

Emilia rated it:

(review of isbn 1400083028)

bookshelves: currently-reading, real-books, to-re-read

Read in August, 2007

recommends it for: just the really cool kids

Oh man, shucks.
I loved this book.
I could say that the story arc could have been stronger or that he could have talked about mixtapes more (even though he talked about them a lot, I never get sick of it). But I won't. I don't care about those things.

I care that I basically love this book way too much. There are many reasons.

1) I am a sucker for exercises in love and grief, which a lot of this book is--his wife died suddenly after they were married for like 5 ...more

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12/29/07

Rory rated it:

Read in January, 2008

I didn't like this as much as others have seemed to. And what I liked most was probably what others discarded--I liked hearing about the signifcance of all the songs and mixes and bands. But the love story? Sap-tastic and hit-me-over-the-head-repetitive.

Every tenth line of the first long chapter is heavy foreshadowing mixed with hipster melodrama--you know, "That music changed my life. But Renee was my life. And then my life went away." Then something like "Love isn't...more

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07/16/08

jess rated it:

(review of isbn 1400083028)

Read in July, 2008

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

spoiler: she dies

i'm feeling a lot of love, life & loss right now, so i thought, "What The Hell, Give It A Shot." and, well, this could be the hipster love story of the year... possibly that of the decade. littered with gratuitous references to the music of the 1990s, the uncensored grief of a sensitive hetero dude, the life of a quirky, curvy girl tragically cut short by an unexpected pulmonary embolism, all delivered straight from the keyboard of a Rolling Stone editor -...more spoiler: she dies

i'm feeling a lot of love, life & loss right now, so i thought, "What The Hell, Give It A Shot." and, well, this could be the hipster love story of the year... possibly that of the decade. littered with gratuitous references to the music of the 1990s, the uncensored grief of a sensitive hetero dude, the life of a quirky, curvy girl tragically cut short by an unexpected pulmonary embolism, all delivered straight from the keyboard of a Rolling Stone editor -- this book tallies up enough points to keep it on the "fave books" list for many socialite myspace pages for years to come.

okay! okay! i admit it! i boo-hooed, sobbed, snorted snot, and positively wept through entire chapters of this book! i read it out-loud to my sweetheart, choking every few words and probably providing a nearly unintelligible listening experience (she did not complain). however, this was not much of an accomplishment cause im a big ol tittybaby who loves to cry all day! i cry when puppies wrestle because it is so sweet, okay?! i read the whole damn thing aloud! it was so hard to read it out loud while i was crying! so, anyway, enough about my emotional shortcomings. it was contrived mostly, but i enjoyed the 90s nostalgia and the tragic saccharine tone. i was always been a sucker for the ill-fated romance, wasn't i?

the book did freak me out A LOT because rob & renee met one day before krista and i did (september 17 and september 18, respectively) and they got married the same day we did (july 13 --- by the way! i got gay-married!). also, renee was the same age (26) that i was when we got married. does this mean, uhm, that i'm going to die in five years of a pulmonary embolism at my sewing machine? not that long ago, i would have said HERE'S HOPING, FOLKS ! but actually, i guess only time will tell, and frankly, i hope not because i have a lot of shit to do. fortunately the book doesnt take itself so seriously so i dont think it has to stand as an foreshadowing omen of my death.

recommended: if you are bored and looking for an indie rock hetero love story set in the 1990s; if you cant get enuff romance from the pages of rolling stone but you love their style; if you wish you had found and lost the greatest love of your lifetime; warning: if you think you already HAVE found and lost the greatest love of your lifetime, this might just hit you *right there* maybe not in a good way. xoxxx(less)

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03/22/08

Kevin rated it:

(review of isbn 1400083028)

Anybody who grew up in the 80s and 90s remembers making mix tapes. You made them for yourself, you made them for friends, you made them for her (or him, as the case may be). You took songs from records, cassettes, CDs, and the radio and mixed them into the order you wanted and, sometimes, you even had running commentary in the form of your own voice during the gaps or the DJ from the radio station from which you recorded the track.

But have you ever defined your life based on these re...more

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03/12/08

Bryan rated it:

(review of isbn 1400083028)

I really wanted to like this book, despite my mild dislike for Sheffield's writing in Rolling Stone magazine. While the story is heartbreaking -- he becomes a widower earlier than anyone should be allowed to -- I was expecting much more insight than what's provided in this slim tome (I read it in one sitting.)

The story boils down to this -- music nerd from Boston meets awesome Appalachian girl who is everything he isn't. You know where the story is heading after he is instantly smitt...more I really wanted to like this book, despite my mild dislike for Sheffield's writing in Rolling Stone magazine. While the story is heartbreaking -- he becomes a widower earlier than anyone should be allowed to -- I was expecting much more insight than what's provided in this slim tome (I read it in one sitting.)

The story boils down to this -- music nerd from Boston meets awesome Appalachian girl who is everything he isn't. You know where the story is heading after he is instantly smitten when she is the only other person in a University of Virginia bar to recognize that Big Star's second album is playing.

They make a connection and later, much to his surprise, they fall in love and get married. After his wife is tragically taken away from him he spends the final half of the book telling the reader over and over to the point of irritation how awesome his wife was.

While each chapter begins with a playlist of a mix tape he or his wife had made, Sheffield doesn't write enough about the songs on the tapes. Why did he select certain songs over others? What makes a good tape. For a man who made tapes for such mundane chores as washing the dishes and walking the dogs, it's a cop-out not to write about the music itself. Of course, that may not be a bad thing. You would think that someone who writes for Rolling Stone would have high standards for determining what makes a good song. Not Sheffield. To him, all music is great, from the Replacements to Journey to the J. Geils Band. Makes you wonder how he wound up writing for a national magazine. Unfortunately we never learn because Sheffield is too busy telling how awesome his wife was. I wanted at least some idea of how he climbed out of his grief to become a columnist for one of the most storied music magazines in the country.

Sheffield likes to liberally sprinkle his writing with pop culture references as a way to show cool and ironic he is, and this book is no exception. While sometimes the references make you smile, most of the time they come off like the junior high social outcast who tries to show how hip he is by making jokes about the Dukes of Hazzard or Star Trek.

(less)

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2 comments

02/13/08

Matt rated it:

(review of isbn 1400083028)

Read in May, 2007

This is the kind of memoir I'd like to have written (albeit without the deceased wife). The only reason I didn't give it another star is that Sheffield and I don't really have the same musical tastes. Still, the premise and writing are great.

I've had a few conversations with friends in the last year or so about the long-lost art of the mix tape, which has been delivered a death-blow by the digital age. Burning a CD mix just isn't the same; for one, it doesn't take nearly as long to ...more

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09/02/08

K rated it:

(review of isbn 1400083028)

The early stuff about Renee was so good and I like the '90s love. Everything else is boring and self indulgent.
I like looking at the playlists on the mix tapes.

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06/19/07

Shanna rated it:

(review of isbn 1400083028)

bookshelves: biosmemoirs, music

Read in June, 2007

recommends it for: music dorks, mixtape lovers, young widows

One of my friends told me to read it and said I would enjoy it.
I liked parts of it a lot: the discussion of the nature of mix tapes v. other mediums and the way that music can define relationships, the fun new songs I found for the first time/remembered, and the really poignant description of his wife's death. This was in some ways more unsettling for me than The Year of Magical Thinking, mainly because they were both so young. They didn't get a chance to live their lives together. It was ...more

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04/17/07

Rosie rated it:

(review of isbn 1400083028)

Has a copy to sell/swap — Read in April, 2007

I wanted to fall in love with this book. I am a girl who still has 20 or so mixed tapes-- actual mixed tapes-- from lost friends, lost loves, past lives, past dreams, rumbling around my car and house. In fact, I bought a new car a couple years ago that still featured a tape deck because of these mixed tapes. Music and writing were my life line for so long. And so I wanted to love this book the way that I love High Fidelity. The way I love to run to Itunes when a snippet of a song from a 9th...more

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01/04/09

Stephanie rated it:

(review of isbn 1400083028)

bookshelves: biographies-and-memoirs, i-own-read, loaned-out, nonfiction, read-in-2009

Read in February, 2009

recommends it for: Leah

I dare you to try and not like this book. I guarantee you'll fail. This book is a beautifully crafted mix of everything. It's about music, yeah. There's talk of some pretty sweet tunes in there and anyone who grew up in the 80's and 90's knows the significance of the mix tape. The book is also one of the greatest unconventional love stories I've ever read.

Reading Love Is a Mix Tape is like listening in on the soundtrack to Rob Sheffield's life. He takes you through the music of his y...more

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01/28/08

Frank rated it:

Read in January, 2008

Any book that describes the summer of '94 as a series of drunken southern barbecues populated by mod-girls and indie rock dudes who always ended the party with the girls singing along to the entirety of Liz Phair's 'Exile In Guyville' on the back porch (word for word) while all the guys listened intrigued and obsessed and befuddled in the kitchen is A+ in my book. See also, the tragic passage inspired by Sleater-Kinney's 'One More Hour', the eulogy to the '90s, and the author's recipe for the pe...more

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09/25/07

Phyllis rated it:

(review of isbn 1400083028)

Read in November, 2007

Holy Smokes . . . if you've never had a heartbreak where a CD / tape / or album didn't get you through, then this book isn't your calling . . .

Yet, have you ever lost one you've loved and that damn tune makes you shutter when you believe you've escaped the loss, but to have it be relived with recall . . .

This book made me think so much of my college roommate / & high school friend, Amber . . . we swore the only reason we got such crappy grades in college is that we had...more

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02/17/09

Wesley rated it:

(review of isbn 1400083028)

I think music junkies would appreciate this book much more than I did. It felt like an inside joke, as such I couldn't connect to the storyline and characters.

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10/07/07

Chelsea rated it:

(review of isbn 1400083028)

bookshelves: 2008, memoir, non-fiction, othermedia, own, recced

Read in June, 2008

recommended to Chelsea by: Hillary

A touching book about Sheffield's all too brief marriage and the music that helped define it. I liked the idea of framing his life - and, specifically, his relationship with Renee - around mix tapes, and I think it was a great touch to include the track listings at the beginning of each chapter. He did a good job of making Renee come alive to readers who have never met her, and I think he did nearly as good a job trying to convey just how broken he was after losing her.

It was an in...more

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07/29/08

Autumn Joyce rated it:

(review of isbn 1400083028)

Read in August, 2008

loved this book. It mentions a lot of bands from the 90s but I don't think that you need to have a lot of background regarding this music to appreciate the book. It is a human story about falling in love, losing it and how music played an important part in the journey. Anyone that relates specific music to a memory, whether a good or bad memory, would enjoy this book. I feel like I could say so much more about this subject...but it is a review not a blog entry. SO READ IT and discover its grea...more

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03/10/09

kthread rated it:

(review of isbn 1400083028)

I spent Saturday afternoon reading in the sun in Charlottesville, Virginia, the way I spent many weekends when I lived in this little town.

Dar Williams refrains filled the cul-de-sac, and the wireless networks were named "TJistheman", "PabstBlueNetwork", and "moonbaker" (the last, perhaps belonging to a baker at Mellow Mushroom pizza near campus).

I thought about how hard it is to leave this place, and the first time I heard the author's nam...more

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02/14/09

Julia rated it:

(review of isbn 1400083028)

Read in February, 2009

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

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04/11/08

Shannen. rated it:

(review of isbn 1400083028)

bookshelves: mybooks

Read in March, 2008

Love is A Mixtape By Rob Sheffield, is sarcastic,funny,heatbreaking book that made me want more music like there used to be.in this book Sheffield used a sarcastic tone but you could tell he still had all of the love in the world for his Ex-Girlfried Renee. Renee said: "When people asked if my boyfriend(rob sheffield)wore glasses, i said no he wears a walkman." that was my favorite quote out of the whole book. If you love romantic/funny/sarcastic books,this book is definatley for you.�...more

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06/15/09

George rated it:

(review of isbn 1400083028)

Read in June, 2009

This memoir by one of Rolling Stone's contributing editors focuses specifically on his falling in love with his wife, her sudden death, and the aftermath. Much like Nick Hornby's Fever Pitch does with soccer games, the book uses mix tapes made by the author, his wife, and occasionally their friends to provide structure. Sometimes the mix tapes are referenced more heavily than others, but Sheffield does a good job of not completely excluding readers who are not familiar with certain songs. Still,...more

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