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In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks . . . And Other Complaints from an Angry Middle-Aged White Guy

3.71  ·  Rating Details  ·  7,434 Ratings  ·  670 Reviews
A couple years back, I was at the Phoenix airport bar. It was empty except for one heavy-set, gray bearded, grizzled guy who looked like he just rode his donkey into town after a long day of panning for silver in them thar hills. He ordered a Jack Daniels straight up, and that's when I overheard the young guy with the earring behind the bar asking him if he had ID. At firs ...more
Paperback, 264 pages
Published May 17th 2011 by Three Rivers Press (first published 2010)
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(showing 1-30 of 3,000)
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Simeon
Jan 14, 2015 Simeon rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: utter-shite
Some of Adam Corolla’s anecdotes are pretty amusing. For instance, the way he used to unplug the fuel line from his truck, so when it gets stolen the thief can barely drive a block before grinding to a halt.

It's too bad the rest of the book reads like the ravings of someone frustrated by more complex fuel delivery systems and the emasculation of everything from cars to peanut butter.

To hear Adam Corolla tell it, he is a real man, while the rest of the world is populated by women, whose sex is a
...more
Shane
Jan 11, 2012 Shane rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
I am a long time if not irregular Carolla listener. I have been entertained by his podcast so thought I would give the book a try. It starts out with an inspiring autobiography where Carolla outlines his rise from construction worker to a successful comedian. Carolla's story is quite inspiring and it raises the quite valid argument that success is not about being in the right place at the right time but through diligence and hard work.

However, following this, Carolla basically goes into a number
...more
Kelly (and the Book Boar)
Find all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/

Adam Carolla’s most epic rant about the pussification of America.

First things first – Carolla is an equal opportunity offender. That being said, if you didn’t like him on morning or late night radio or cable television or don’t like his current podcast, you aren’t going to like this book. There’s plenty of other fish in the sea books on the shelf, so spare yourself the eye twitching fit of rage Carolla’s views could possibly induce.

I
...more
Laura Elliott Monroe
Yay For Non-Fiction!
Rounding out my non-fiction journey (ok, it's an addiction, really) is Adam Carolla's In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks ... And Other Complaints from an Angry Middle-Aged White Guy. The truth is, I've got a ton of fiction novels staring at me on my iPad and I'm just not willing to invest my imagination into them right now. In Fifty Years is part memoir, part life observation, part crank-fest by a very talented and funny man. Unfortunately, not ALL of it is funny - in fact, s
...more
L.T. Vargus
On one hand, I can pay this book one of the best compliments you can pay a comedy book: While reading before bed, I kept waking up the person next to me because I was laughing.

On the other hand, I might like Adam Carolla slightly less after reading this. For a book that, based on the title, is supposed to be manly or whatever, he sure comes off as a whiner. I know his frustration and outrage with the stupidity of the world makes up a large portion of his humor, but there's something so unpleasan
...more
EZRead eBookstore
Jan 26, 2011 EZRead eBookstore rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: jenifer-reviews
Of course, I picked up this book because it sounded offensive. “In Fifty Years We’ll All Be Chicks”? Good. Change I can look forward to. But surprisingly, Adam’s book is not a giant thumbs up to genderization; it’s a typed-up comedy routine. Aside from a few “joke book” collections in the third grade, this was my first experience with a string of stand-up jokes and no intelligible plot. Some of his jokes got a smile (nary a lol), but for the most part, I felt “meh” about this tender tribute to b ...more
Craig
Jan 24, 2011 Craig rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: humor
If you are a fan of the podcast, or his other work in general, and want a near transcription of most of his material then this book might be for you. If you are anything less than a casual fan you won't find much of anything new between the covers and will probably be bored with many of the sections, skimming ahead often as I did.

I purchased the book for a variety of reasons. I was a die-hard fan of the original Man Show back in the day and I liked some of Carolla's stand-up material but primari
...more
Robert Paige
May 20, 2012 Robert Paige rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: trashcan
Adam Carolla has always been rather "hit or miss" with me. Sometimes he's pretty funny, other times, not so much. In this book, we get the pleasure of watching someone who came up from poverty demonstrate that he's completely oblivious to the conditions of poverty, and the desperate choices people have to make in those kinds of situations. Watch as he pisses all over the idea of welfare, and derides people who won't take jobs due to fear of losing that welfare (When you're on welfare, wages earn ...more
Dylan Armes
Mar 14, 2011 Dylan Armes rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
It's Adam Carolla. You love him or you hate him, but thanks to his podcast, his radio show, and especially Loveline, if you're in your 20's/30's chances are you know him and his comedy.

And I love him! In this book his commentary rages from subjects like eliminating peanuts from public schools, to pomegranate iced tea, to the current state of politics in this country. I didn't always agree with him, especially since he still seems to hate women and in one chapter he took it to the bleeding heart
...more
Wendy,  Lady Evelyn Quince
Short version of my review of "In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks:...And Other Complaints from an Angry Middle-Aged White Guy":

 photo Oldman.jpg

Longer version:

Adam Carolla's never been one of my most favorite comedians, but he's got a bit of that Archie Bunker-common-man, accidentally-insightful perspective that I find amusing. I listened to this audio-version hoping to hear him rant on the uber-metro men of today, you know, guys who wax their chests, legs and arms, pubes, pluck their eyebrows and use more make
...more
Bev
I read about this book in a magazine and I was looking for something completely different to, sort of, "cleanse my book-on-CD listening palate," and this certainly fit the bill. When the book begain, I was thoroughly delighted with Adam Carolla's description of his childhood and how he worked his way up from nothing into the comedy business. He really is hilarious, and I love his observations about the quirks of modern life. The language was "salty," but nothing too extreme. I found him to be li ...more
Valerie
Apr 30, 2011 Valerie rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
So, I only made it about 46% of the way through this book before put it down in disgust. I have never had a particular issue with Adam Carolla. In fact, I thought he was fairly hilarious, in his own crass way. I even enjoyed the first few chapters of this book. I laughed and cringed a few times.

The smiles went out the window when he started proclaiming male superiority over women as though discussing the weather, or something equally benign. I often find things funny that many find offensive -
...more
K2 -----
Nov 14, 2010 K2 ----- rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Adam Carolla is my guilty pleasure.

I think that he is hilarious.

If I were to blub his book it only seems appropriate to say something like, "I laughed, I cried, I spit up on the children."

I am not his typical demographic, at least I assume it is younger and male, but I was reading his little bits aloud they were so darned funny. Certainly if you have been a follower of his you have heard some of this material, but it is still smart and funny.

Envisioning him pulling all this together with Mik
...more
Shannon
Edit: I finished it. THANK YOU ADAM CAROLLA. For writing the only book interesting enough that I have been able to finish it- in the last like seriously 5 months or something. So my final assesment below (which is mostly quotes, but that's the true sign of me liking something, when in leui of explaining it,I just quote it) remains. The LOL/page ratio remained consistent throughout. Adam Carolla is insightful and pissed in a unique and hilarious way. He is also REALLY good at analogies, seriously ...more
Paul
Mar 04, 2012 Paul rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This has to be one of the funniest books I've read in a very long time. I was laughing at loud through most of the book. In fact, at one point, I made the mistake of reading it on a crowded subway and, in my attempts to stifle my laughter, I only ended up drawing more attention to myself with my held-in laughter causing my face to turn red, my shoulders to shake, and tears and sweat to roll down my face. Faced with the dilemma of continuing to cause a scene versus reading something else instead, ...more
Aaron Kuehn
Jan 21, 2012 Aaron Kuehn rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I have enjoyed Adam on "The Man Show", on the radio program "Loveline" and on "The Adam Carolla Project." He says the things one shouldn't say, nor probably think. He's abrasive, sometimes makes me cringe, but often makes me laugh. But more importantly, whether he is totally serious or believes the things he says or not, he makes me think and consider the world.

All that said, I never had any intention of reading this book. I figured that it was ghost-written and would be the "same old thing" he'
...more
Eddie
May 22, 2014 Eddie rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
A 3.5 rounded up to a 4-star

OK, I love Adam Carolla. I do. It's cliche, but I do. Whether I agree with him on certain rants or not, I can always appreciate someone who speaks honestly--no matter how trivial or insignificant it may be. Grant it, there is a thin line between rant and bitching and in this book, Adam treads closely. But, that's what this book was meant to be about. Not life changing, just an honest person's point-of-view on things. I finished this book early this morning and don't r
...more
Tony Bertauski
Dec 29, 2011 Tony Bertauski rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
If you were offended, shame on you. You knew it was going to be an irreverent sh!tstorm of political incorrectness when you read the title. And if you're not easily offended, you'll find Carolla's smear campaign of life hilarious. I was braced for something much more offensive. It was, sure. But I was going into it expecting something like "women get in the kitchen and men go bowling." It wasn't entirely that, either.

He gives a brief overview of his past, which is a nice set up to his parade of
...more
Erica
Mar 07, 2016 Erica rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: abandoned
Adam Carolla tries too hard being racist, misogynistic, homophobic all while making me sick by being a narcissistic asshole on top of it. I don't know where he gets off talking about stupid poor people when he is illiterate.

I loved Adam Carolla on Loveline and even watched The Man Show from time to time but his live comedy does not translate over well to the printed word. This book was horrible and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone.

I feel strange giving this book such a poor review when overall
...more
Jamie
Dec 26, 2010 Jamie rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: adult, audiobooks
I've always liked Adam Carolla. I liked the Man Show, i liked him as a foil to Dr. Drew, I like him as a Stern guest.

The audio had a clever conceit, he wasn't going to read it word for word but just riff on the themes in the book. I liked this idea.

But this audiobook was not only really unfunny, it was pretty misogynist, homophobic and dancing with being racist. Also, Glenn Beckian in the right wing ranting.

And I'm really hard to offend. While listening to this, I watched the most recent Ricky G
...more
Sunday
Dec 02, 2010 Sunday rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Adam's lifeless attempts at things like misogyny are marked by hoop earring jokes. He is banal, old-fashioned, and his book feels like it was transcribed word-for-word from a stand up comedy act in the 90s. With a few insightful exceptions (such as his paragraph on proper pimple milking), Carolla cannot even muster the masculinity or humor of my little sister on a bad day. Offensive jokes aside, I sentence this book to death for not being funny.
Florin Pitea
By turns funny, intriguing and outrageous.
Alec
Dec 01, 2010 Alec rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Adam Carolla is the funniest man in America. This is a view I have held for some time and this book has done nothing to refute my stance. In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks is essentially a book of Carolla's rants (or "jags") that are always hilarious and often insightful. Brutally honest, he addresses taboo topics such as racism and gender difference with a directness and clarity of thought that makes offensive statements somehow less offensive. I don't know how he does it. I felt the same way ...more
Book
Jun 02, 2011 Book rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: autobiography
I will preface this review by saying I did not finish this book.

The book starts off with standard Adam Carolla type of humor and observations, which is what you'd normally expect. And surprisingly, Carolla spent a lot of time, money and effort training as an improv actor and performer. That seems to be a motif in a lot of these autobiographies by actors, which is okay.

I got about half-way through before he starts really laying it in thick with tirades about pretty much everything. A lot of them
...more
Todd N
I will start this review with a Nemet family secret for getting first dibs on library books: My wife and I subscribe to Wowbrary, a free email service that sends notifications of new popular books that the library has added that week. Anything that looks interesting we immediately put on hold, and once it has been "processed" (a week to put a plastic cover and a "new" sticker on a book?) it is set aside for us to pick up. As a bonus, we get to read a library book with no boogers or mysterious st ...more
Adriane
Mar 24, 2012 Adriane rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: humor, kindle, library
Technically I give this one three and a half stars. I really admire Carolla for writing three books even though he can't read. I also think its kinda sweet that he lets his wife do dictation, that's pretty trusting, I mean she could edit anything, not like he could read it (yes I totally just made an illiterate joke, but he would appreciate it nonetheless).

Overall there are a few good chuckles in this book, a little ranting, some good ideas, some horrible ideas. But I found it to be one of the
...more
Seth Hanson
Feb 03, 2012 Seth Hanson rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I love Adam Carolla so of course I loved his book. If you only know Adam from his days doing "The Man Show" and have written him off as just another low-brow, misogynist d-bag... you owe it to yourself to give him another look. He has a great 'rags-to-riches' story and can be quite inspiring from time to time. If nothing else, he has a fairly unique take on life and you can't help but love his authenticity. Think of him as sort of a poor man's social commentator with a lightning fast wit and a g ...more
Phillip Smith
Feb 05, 2011 Phillip Smith rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I ended up borrowing this from the library, despite Carolla's many urgings on his podcast to buy it retail, because of my mixed feelings about his humor. The book does tone down some of the rawest rants from the show, but remains frequently abrasive. At times this becomes downright obnoxious, and yet it is hard to hold a grudge against Carolla, for that very abrasiveness is what makes him so appealingly amusing, and more often than not his position is correct, if prickly. Anyway I found myself l ...more
Lupine
Dec 20, 2010 Lupine rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: adult, non-fiction, funny
If you enjoy his podcast, you will enjoy this book. If you can't stand his podcast, don't bother reading it. I enjoy listening to his show thus I enjoyed the book since it's pretty much like his show but written down. There are parts where I laughed out loud, parts where I had arguements with him in my head and parts where I thought, "Right on!" And then there were the parts that were surprisingly uplifting -- or maybe he is just saying things that I need to hear at this point in my life. All in ...more
David
Jan 07, 2011 David rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
The subtitle of this book says "...and other complaints from an angry middle-aged white guy". Well, I'm not angry, but I am a middle-aged white guy, so you'd think I'd really like Carolla's effort. You'd be wrong. Dead wrong.

He's taken what might be funny as a 15-minute riff in a smoky comedy cellar, and stretched it out for 245 pages. His anger shows, but with very little humor and lots more scatology. George Carlin he isn't.

This screed was a rare DNF for me.

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Adam Carolla is an American radio personality, television host, comedian, and actor. He is currently the host of The Adam Carolla Show, a talk show distributed as a podcast.

Carolla is also known as being the co-host of the radio show Loveline from 1995 to 2005 (and its television incarnation on MTV from 1996 to 2000), as the co-host of the television program The Man Show (1999–2004), and as the co
...more
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“My son I worry about. I'm pretty sure he's gonna be gay. At this point I'm just hoping he's not a bottom. Sorry to sound closed-minded and uptight, but let's face it, no dad wants his son to be gay. Not only do you get no grandkids, but I'm sure high school is no picnic for a fifteen-year-old gay boy. On the other hand, maybe I'm just viewing this through the bifocals of an old heterosexual dude. The way things are going, my son will probably get his ass kicked for not being gay. 'Carolla thinks he's too good to suck cock. Come on boys, lets get him.” 5 likes
“Everything seems overwhelming when you stand back and look at the totality of it. I build a lot of stuff and it would all seem impossible if I didn't break it down piece by piece, stage by stage. The best gift you can give yourself is some drive--that thing inside of you that gets you out the door to the gym, job interviews, and dates. The believe-in-yourself adage is grossly overrated.” 4 likes
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