Authors are always looking for an early rave review to spark sales. So, who better to give me a 5 star review than my best friend? Mine is a Black Lab named Jett. I gave her a copy of Flipping Out, and asked her to write the review.

As you can see, the bitch can’t type. It came out looking like this.


So I decided to interview her:

MK: So how did you like the new Lomax and Biggs book?

JETT: Can I be frank with you?

MK: I sleep with you. I feed you. I walk behind you and scoop up your shit. I’d say we’ve established a totally open and honest relationship. Go for it.

JETT: The new book — Flipping Out — it wasn’t that good.

MK: Really?

JETT: The Rabbit Factory was much easier to digest.

MK: How so?

JETT: The paper on The Rabbit Factory was primo. Absolutely delicious. And the picture of the rabbit on the cover just made me salivate like what’s-his-name’s dog.

MK: Pavlov?

JETT: No. Norman Untermeyer, the guy with that big slobbering St. Bernard. Anyway, The Rabbit Factory was 632 pages, and I devoured it in one sitting. Flipping Out is half that, and I couldn’t finish it. It was too dry.

MK: That’s an unfair comparison.

JETT: Marshall, please — don’t go all Author Defense Mode on me.

MK: No, you’re not being fair. You ate a first edition, hard cover version of The Rabbit Factory. The copy of Flipping Out I gave you was just an advance reader copy. It’s printed on cheap paper. It’s a promotional thing. The real book is coming out April 1. Hard cover. Professional grade paper stock.

JETT: Well, then you should have given me that one.

MK: All the reviewers get those cheapo advance copies.

JETT: Then they’re going to have trouble swallowing it.

MK: Jett, the people who get advance copies of my books don’t eat them.

JETT: I’m not a bit surprised. The binding on those things is all gluey.

MK: I’m totally bummed. You’re my dog. My constant companion. I was counting on you for a fantastic, over-the-top review. Can you at least give me a blurb I could use for the book jacket?

JETT: A blurb?

MK: You know, a few pithy lines that we can put on the back cover that will get people all psyched to buy the book.

JETT: I’m a Black Lab. We don’t lie.

MK: You don’t have to lie. When someone writes a 500 word review, even if they hate the book, the publisher can find a way to pull out a few phrases that make it sound like a rave.

JETT: And that’s honest?

MK: It’s the official accepted way of marketing any book.

JETT: Okay, I’ll give you a paragraph and your publisher can quote any part of it they want to use.

MK: Good girl.

JETT: Yeah, right. First get me a couple of those biscuits, will you?

Here’s Jett’s review:


more blogs, books, and pictures of Jett at

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Published on February 20, 2009 05:32 • 956 views
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message 1: by Janet (new)

Janet well, paper is certainly fiber and I'm sure Jett's intestines are clean as a whistle after her little snack. I'd think Rabbit Factory would have given her a tummy ache, and not from laughing.

(this is a compliment, not a criticism!)

message 2: by Janet (new)

Janet oh, my God. I just read Jett's bio, I had no idea, I didn't connect the dates of this post and your post about Jett's passing. I'm so sorry.

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