I'd like to welcome Cara Lopez Lee, one of my fellow authors from the brand new e-book 25 Years in the Rearview Mirror: 52 Authors Look Back. Cara is stopping by as part of the 25 Years in the Rearview Mirror Blog Tour. (More about that below.) Cara, my first guest on this blog, is a woman with many stories to tell. She lives her life—but let her tell you how she does it, and how you can too.
Your Life is A Story
By Cara Lopez Lee
Imagine your life is a story. How will you live it? Traveling through twenty countries and most of the 50 United States has taught me the value of approaching life as an adventure. Authoring, editing, and ghostwriting a dozen books has taught me the value of approaching life as a story. I've found that the elements of a great story parallel the elements of a great adventure.
Consider this quote from one of my favorite travel writers, Tim Cahill: "An adventure is never an adventure while it's happening. Challenging experiences need time to ferment, and adventure is simply physical and emotional discomfort recollected in tranquility." Now, let's replace the word "adventure" with the word "story": A story is never a story while it's happening. Challenging experiences need time to ferment, and a story is simply physical and emotional discomfort recollected in tranquility. If we all looked through that lens, I believe we'd find more joy and less pain in life's challenges.
What's more, this kind of thinking has practical implications for writers and travelers. Consider these ways that good storytelling requires a sense of adventure, and vice versa:
The Call to Action
In storytelling, a protagonist faces obstacles to achieving something he or she desires. The resulting conflict implants a dramatic question in the reader’s mind: "Will the protagonist get the ______? find the _______? escape the ________?" It all starts with a call to action that sets the protagonist on a quest that will ultimately answer the question.
My memoir, They Only Eat Their Husbands, is the story of my nine years in Alaska, where I landed in a love triangle with two alcoholics, and the year I ran away from that life to trek around the world alone. The call to action was the explosion of my love triangle, which prompted me to leave romance behind and pursue a solo trek. The book's opening line, "Running away is vastly underrated," implies the dramatic question: "Will running away help Cara escape her addiction to dysfunctional relationships?"
Conflict
Without conflict there is no story. A story moves forward when a character faces obstacles to his or her goals. Those obstacles create conflict, which forces the character to change course. That is how a character changes and grows.
Let's rewrite that last paragraph, replacing the word "story" with "adventure," and the word "character" with "you": Without conflict there is no adventure. Your adventure moves forward when you face obstacles to your goals. Those obstacles create conflict, which force you to change course. That is how you change and grow.
One day in China, I was riding a bike to the marketplace in Xizhou. When I stopped at a hamlet to ask directions, I accidentally walked into an Islamic mosque just as the imam began calling the men to prayer. I was wearing shorts. I was terrified I had offended the villagers, but soon I found myself surrounded by people trying to help me. Dealing with those sorts of conflicts increased my confidence in myself and in the abundance of love in the world. I began to let go of my fear of being alone, a fear that had long dominated my relationships. In short: I grew.
One Moment in Time
Even big stories are made up of small moments, called scenes. Those small moments each stand in for a bigger idea. In a scene, the writer slows time down so that the reader can experience the moment more fully.
Similarly, adventure calls on us not to speed up, but to slow down, to stay in the moment. When I was in Thailand, I once climbed down a steep cliff using only a knotted rope with no harness. I knew that if I lost my grip I might die or break a limb. My sense of time slowed down.
On the other hand, sometimes time slows down because we're not fully engaged. I recently had a long wait at the DMV and I'd forgotten to bring a book. Instead of letting boredom take over, I chose to enjoy the waiting room's photo exhibit about the history of the local neighborhood. I'd never known much about Denver's Five Points neighborhood before, and I decided to return later to learn more. That's the mindset of a traveler.
Patterns Reveal the Theme
One of the human brain's unique survival skills is its tendency to seek patterns. When we write or read stories, whether fact or fiction, we're sifting life’s chaos for patterns that give us a sense of meaning.
In my memoir, I sifted my experiences for the most compelling conflicts: with the men in my past and with the people I met on my travels. With that, a story emerged about clinging to dysfunctional relationships at all costs and then journeying alone to a healthier relationship with myself. As I greeted the people of the world with a sense of adventure, I discovered that love was not something to search for, but a place to come from.
The Hero
I once took a workshop with filmmaker Alexander Phillipe, who said, "Any story is about what your protagonist desperately wants." If the character's needs come in conflict with his or her wants, even better: that creates dramatic tension. The protagonist is usually also the hero, but not always. The hero is the only person who can achieve the story goal.
In your life story, you're the protagonist. Wouldn't you also like to be the hero? This won't always mean you get what you want, but as I put it in my memoir, "The purpose of my life is not to get what I want. The purpose of my life is to become who I am."
With that in mind, let me up the ante. The next time you face a challenge, ask yourself this: "What would I do if I were the hero of my own story?" If the answer leads to unexpected things, please let me know. That's a story I'd like to read.
***
About The Author:
Cara Lopez Lee is the author of the memoir They Only Eat Their Husbands, (Ghost Road Press, 2010),
co-author of the novel Back in the Real World (Graham Publishing Group, 2011), and one of the contributing authors to the new anthology 25 Years in the Rearview Mirror (Thunder Horse Press, 2012). Her Girls Trek Too blog and workshop are dedicated to inspiring women to live life as an adventure. She has written for The Los Angeles Times, Denver Post, Wazee Journal, HGTV, and Food Network. She and her husband live in Denver, Colorado.
Visit Cara's blog, Girls Trek Too, subtitled The Life of an Adventurous Woman at: http://girlstrektoo.com/blog/
About the blog tour:
As promised above, here's more about the 25 Years in the Rearview Mirror Blog Tour. We 52 authors are so excited about the e-book, 25 Years in the Rearview Mirror: 52 Authors Look Back, we are blogging, speaking on the radio, and reaching out to readers to tell you a little about the book.
If you enjoy magazine columns and Chicken Soup for the Soul books, then we're sure you'll enjoy our collection of essays, designed to warm your heart, raise your spirits and compel you to examine your own life. Read about school days, quirky jobs, romance, raising a family, hard times, the writing journey, and find out what makes your favorite characters tick. Get a full listing of authors, essay titles and retailers here: http://stacyjuba.com/blog/25-years-in...
Your Life is A Story
By Cara Lopez Lee
Imagine your life is a story. How will you live it? Traveling through twenty countries and most of the 50 United States has taught me the value of approaching life as an adventure. Authoring, editing, and ghostwriting a dozen books has taught me the value of approaching life as a story. I've found that the elements of a great story parallel the elements of a great adventure.
Consider this quote from one of my favorite travel writers, Tim Cahill: "An adventure is never an adventure while it's happening. Challenging experiences need time to ferment, and adventure is simply physical and emotional discomfort recollected in tranquility." Now, let's replace the word "adventure" with the word "story": A story is never a story while it's happening. Challenging experiences need time to ferment, and a story is simply physical and emotional discomfort recollected in tranquility. If we all looked through that lens, I believe we'd find more joy and less pain in life's challenges.
What's more, this kind of thinking has practical implications for writers and travelers. Consider these ways that good storytelling requires a sense of adventure, and vice versa:
The Call to Action
In storytelling, a protagonist faces obstacles to achieving something he or she desires. The resulting conflict implants a dramatic question in the reader’s mind: "Will the protagonist get the ______? find the _______? escape the ________?" It all starts with a call to action that sets the protagonist on a quest that will ultimately answer the question.
My memoir, They Only Eat Their Husbands, is the story of my nine years in Alaska, where I landed in a love triangle with two alcoholics, and the year I ran away from that life to trek around the world alone. The call to action was the explosion of my love triangle, which prompted me to leave romance behind and pursue a solo trek. The book's opening line, "Running away is vastly underrated," implies the dramatic question: "Will running away help Cara escape her addiction to dysfunctional relationships?"
Conflict
Without conflict there is no story. A story moves forward when a character faces obstacles to his or her goals. Those obstacles create conflict, which forces the character to change course. That is how a character changes and grows.
Let's rewrite that last paragraph, replacing the word "story" with "adventure," and the word "character" with "you": Without conflict there is no adventure. Your adventure moves forward when you face obstacles to your goals. Those obstacles create conflict, which force you to change course. That is how you change and grow.
One day in China, I was riding a bike to the marketplace in Xizhou. When I stopped at a hamlet to ask directions, I accidentally walked into an Islamic mosque just as the imam began calling the men to prayer. I was wearing shorts. I was terrified I had offended the villagers, but soon I found myself surrounded by people trying to help me. Dealing with those sorts of conflicts increased my confidence in myself and in the abundance of love in the world. I began to let go of my fear of being alone, a fear that had long dominated my relationships. In short: I grew.
One Moment in Time
Even big stories are made up of small moments, called scenes. Those small moments each stand in for a bigger idea. In a scene, the writer slows time down so that the reader can experience the moment more fully.
Similarly, adventure calls on us not to speed up, but to slow down, to stay in the moment. When I was in Thailand, I once climbed down a steep cliff using only a knotted rope with no harness. I knew that if I lost my grip I might die or break a limb. My sense of time slowed down.
On the other hand, sometimes time slows down because we're not fully engaged. I recently had a long wait at the DMV and I'd forgotten to bring a book. Instead of letting boredom take over, I chose to enjoy the waiting room's photo exhibit about the history of the local neighborhood. I'd never known much about Denver's Five Points neighborhood before, and I decided to return later to learn more. That's the mindset of a traveler.
Patterns Reveal the Theme
One of the human brain's unique survival skills is its tendency to seek patterns. When we write or read stories, whether fact or fiction, we're sifting life’s chaos for patterns that give us a sense of meaning.
In my memoir, I sifted my experiences for the most compelling conflicts: with the men in my past and with the people I met on my travels. With that, a story emerged about clinging to dysfunctional relationships at all costs and then journeying alone to a healthier relationship with myself. As I greeted the people of the world with a sense of adventure, I discovered that love was not something to search for, but a place to come from.
The Hero
I once took a workshop with filmmaker Alexander Phillipe, who said, "Any story is about what your protagonist desperately wants." If the character's needs come in conflict with his or her wants, even better: that creates dramatic tension. The protagonist is usually also the hero, but not always. The hero is the only person who can achieve the story goal.
In your life story, you're the protagonist. Wouldn't you also like to be the hero? This won't always mean you get what you want, but as I put it in my memoir, "The purpose of my life is not to get what I want. The purpose of my life is to become who I am."
With that in mind, let me up the ante. The next time you face a challenge, ask yourself this: "What would I do if I were the hero of my own story?" If the answer leads to unexpected things, please let me know. That's a story I'd like to read.
***
About The Author:
Cara Lopez Lee is the author of the memoir They Only Eat Their Husbands, (Ghost Road Press, 2010),
co-author of the novel Back in the Real World (Graham Publishing Group, 2011), and one of the contributing authors to the new anthology 25 Years in the Rearview Mirror (Thunder Horse Press, 2012). Her Girls Trek Too blog and workshop are dedicated to inspiring women to live life as an adventure. She has written for The Los Angeles Times, Denver Post, Wazee Journal, HGTV, and Food Network. She and her husband live in Denver, Colorado.Visit Cara's blog, Girls Trek Too, subtitled The Life of an Adventurous Woman at: http://girlstrektoo.com/blog/
About the blog tour:
As promised above, here's more about the 25 Years in the Rearview Mirror Blog Tour. We 52 authors are so excited about the e-book, 25 Years in the Rearview Mirror: 52 Authors Look Back, we are blogging, speaking on the radio, and reaching out to readers to tell you a little about the book.
If you enjoy magazine columns and Chicken Soup for the Soul books, then we're sure you'll enjoy our collection of essays, designed to warm your heart, raise your spirits and compel you to examine your own life. Read about school days, quirky jobs, romance, raising a family, hard times, the writing journey, and find out what makes your favorite characters tick. Get a full listing of authors, essay titles and retailers here: http://stacyjuba.com/blog/25-years-in...
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I like the idea of three people or more being "the hero" in the aggregate as a result of working together. What a great allegory for our times, Ron, when collaboration seems to be the answer we need for so many problems. People who come together for a common purpose: the hero of tomorrow?
What a great article, Cara! Approaching life as a story is a neat philosophy.I almost named the Rearview Mirror book Small Moments in Time, because I was thinking of that idea also, how our lives are made up of these small moments strung together that, when you look back at them, really helped to shape us and define us. I like the idea of asking myself the question "What would I do if I were the hero of my own story?" Maybe if would help us to feel more in control if we asked ourselves that more often. Thanks for bringing us this article, Norma!
I'm glad to know my ideas resonate with you, Stacy. Thanks. Indeed, asking myself what I'd do if I were a hero, helps me feel more control over my actions, but also more willingness to let go of results. I feel better knowing that heroes do the right thing even when it costs them.
Cara, very informative and interesting article Cara. In fact my own works involve more than one hero as they are working in collaboration, so found it inspiring to hear your words.I must add it has been wonderful meeting Cara and all the authors of 25 Years in the Rearview Mirror: 52 Authors Look Back. A great adventure.
Thank you, Monica. I feel the same way about meeting you all. I'm grateful for the opportunity to inspire & be inspired. I'm also very intrigued by this potential trend toward multiple heroes in stories. I'll now be looking for it everywhere...
Cara, thank you for visiting my blog with Your Life is a Story. And thank you, Ron, Stacy, and Monica for your thoughtful comments. This adventure with my very first guest is something I will repeat.
In my current novel, 3 Through History: Love in the Time of Republicans, there are three protagonists, and I did not want to make one of them a hero. I solved the problem by winding three novellas together; the stories of each protagonist. It was experimental, true, but maybe it works. Your readers can see for free, as the book is going up for free at my blog (http://3throughhistory.blogspot.com)