A friend wrote that delightful, Pride-&-Prejudice-referential question to me in a recent e-mail. She was frustrated with the assumption in our society that single people are incomplete. Are in search of another person. Are waiting. Have failed in some way. Have been unlucky. Have all kinds of happiness in their future, as long as they're patient and never give up hope.

Today, I would just like to point out quietly -- because hardly anyone ever does, and maybe it would be useful for more people to talk about it -- that while there are indeed many single people who are in search of a mate, there are also many single people who aren't in search of anything. Who've chosen to be single. Who have, in fact, found the secret to their own happiness. Maybe they have other dreams that take precedence, other priorities and passions. Maybe they love to be alone, cherish other kinds of relationships, relish in the freedom of being single. People are different. Announcement: People are different.

Here is my promise: I promise that if I ever meet you and you tell me you're single, I will not assume that you're open to being set up with one of my friends; I will not make a sad face and tell you never to give up hope; I will not assume, if I see you talking to another single person, that you're hitting on them; and I will not make mental generalizations about the richness of your life.

That is all.
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Published on June 24, 2012 21:00 • 579 views
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message 1: by Melliott (new)

Melliott THANK YOU! There are so many ways in which this plays out. For instance, you walk into a restaurant, book in your purse, looking forward to a quiet meal, just you and Bitterblue, and the sweet young thing with the menus says to you "Just one?" No, not JUST one...ONE! One diner patronizing your restaurant, to whom you could show a bit of respect. One diner who, by the way, can open her own door, pull out her own chair, pay her own way, and entertain herself quite nicely... Thank you.

message 2: by Jessica (new)

Jessica For me, it was more 'why must a female character fall instantly in love with the first man she enjoys'? But good point, well made.

message 3: by Raphael (new)

Raphael Temple Very good post. I couldn't agree more.

message 4: by Fernanda (new)

Fernanda I am single and rather proud of it. I have to agree not everyone's priorities is the same as society sets out for them. Each can enjoy whatever lifestyle they choose to pursue.

message 5: by Imani (new)

Imani AMEN sister. i'm 20 and my goal in life is NOT marriage thank you VERY much. in fact i wanna be single all my life! is that really so crazy?

message 6: by Theana (new)

Theana I find people react in a similar way when you tell them you don't want to have kids. My friend and her husband get a LOT of grief from family (and strangers) when they mention they aren't planning on having kids ever. People just need to be less concerned with others' lives in general. No matter how people choose to live, it's not anyone else's business.

message 7: by Rachel (new)

Rachel I love the title of this post:D

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