I want to write like Sherry Thomas, because even when I disagree with a choice she makes she still makes my heart ache with her emotional dynamics. She has set up a relationship dynamic for a couple that’s coming out in her next book and when I even think about reading this book I get teary eyed!
I want to write like Sarah Mayberry because she makes me remember everything I used to love about category and why I wanted to write it. She can fill up 70 thousand plus words over just a relationship conflict with no other bells and whistles and that is amazing. Plus she’s contemporary and fresh.
I want to write like Meljean Brook. I keep going back and reading her short story set in the Iron Duke world, which ultimately makes me go back and start reading The Iron Duke again. I want to invent that world. I want that world to be mine.
I want to write like my fellow DWT writers because they know more about craft and construction and pacing than I ever will. I want Eileen’s vampire guy with the icy breath, and Molly’s, Eli in Can’t Hurry Love and Maureen’s Dome world and Sinead’s historical/monster/YA idea because it’s so freaking new and different.
I want all of that to be mine instead of what is mine.
Do you all ever get like this? Like every time you write a sentence you’re just like blahhhhh that’s not any good. I’ll never be good. I suck. Why do I think I can write when there are other better writers out there?
I’m in this weird phase where I’m waiting for my next Super release in October and wondering how it will be received. Some days I think I nailed it. Other days I think… I’m kidding myself. Because it’s not Sherry Thomas and it’s not Sarah Mayberry and it’s not Meljean Brook. (Of course it couldn’t be… no steam punk in the Superromance line.)
But that fear, which I don’t ever remember having before about a book, is impacting the one I’m writing now. I’m trying push myself harder and go deeper with it and all I can think of is blaaaahhhhh!!!
So that’s what my current WIP is going to be known as. The Blaahhhhh book. And maybe tomorrow I’ll get up and think I don’t suck.
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