Want to torture a Christian who recently got engaged?  Don’t allow them any space in the conversation to tell you that they’re not living with their fiancé.

That’s some good fun, my friend, because we want to tell you that.  We want to be up front that we’re not living in sin, that we’re not cohabitating, and we’ll do anything to work that into the flow of the discussion. But we don’t want to say “living in sin” because it kind of makes us sound like we’re weirdo Christians, so we’ll go to great creative lengths to tell you that we have two separate residences:

“We’re really excited to be getting married.  It’ll be nice not to pay two mortgages when we tie the knot.”

“I cooked dinner for my fiancé last night at my place. But I was out of salt, so he drove to his place, in a car, because the distance is significant.”

“She has a cat, and I’ve never lived with a cat, so when we get married and she moves in with the cat, that will be a change.”

“My fiancé’s apartment flooded.  So she stayed at my place, while I slept on the couch, in the living room of the apartment I share with a roommate.  Who was there the whole time and actually kept a sleepless vigil in the hall.”

“I’m engaged to a girl who lives across town. Lives clear across town without any sort of tunnels or skywalks that connect our two houses. Completely separate.”

I personally never got caught up in the fancy ways to say “We’re not living in sin.”  I was living in a trailer home in a retirement community when I was engaged, and there was very little chance the community would have stood for any of that shacking up nonsense.

Sure, while living there, I mentally aged about forty years in a matter of weeks, sitting in a rocking chair with a quilt over my knees and a foot massager I requested for Christmas because they were all the rage in my new, old neighborhood. I may have suddenly fallen in love with Everybody Loves Raymond and chuckled at that rascal’s antics like an old man. But, other than that, everything worked out.

My wife didn’t become old.  She lived across town with the Morrisons. In their house. Which was different from a trailer park. Where I slept. Alone.  By myself.

Have you ever made sure people didn’t think you were “living in sin” with a fiance?


(This originally appeared in the Stuff Christians Like book. If you want to pick up a copy, click here!)

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Published on May 24, 2012 04:00 • 22 views

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