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Today's guest blogger made my day the first time I met him. John Seita emailed me after reading Throwaway to share his story as an alumni of the foster care system. I was moved to hear John's story, and thrilled to hear what's being done at Western Michigan University to help children aging out of the foster care system. John is a shining example of using who we are to make the world better for others, and I couldn't wait to share his story with you. He has also kindly offered a paperback copy of his book God Is in the Kitchen and Other Everyday Miracles as a giveaway for today's Friday's Mark contest. ~ Heather

I recently had the pleasure to read the book Throwaway by Heather Huffman. I was motivated to read the book by its intriguing title and captivating cover. The truth be told, I have always been appalled with the term "throwaway" with respect to vulnerable young people and wondered what the title meant. I was once considered a "throwaway" since I had spent lots of time in foster care. Imagine my surprise when I discovered the main character in the book, Jessie, was also an alumni of the foster care system and was herself a "throwaway."

I quickly read the book since those who had survived foster care are rarely the main character in popular literature. I was struck to find that Jessie's character demonstrated many of the characteristics that former foster care kids often share:  Jessie displayed the unlikely combination of vulnerability, wariness, uncertainty, an unexpected guile and confidence and a plan for a better life. For most foster care alumni the vulnerability and wariness comes from years of abuse, neglect and abandonment, while the confidence and guile emerges from years of coping and strategic survival in often unsurvivable situations.

Young people who have "aged out" of in the foster care system are not really not on the radar screen of the general population, but most leave foster care without support, structure, resources or somewhere to turn when in trouble. Remember that young people who go into foster care typically end up there due to neglect, abuse and abandonment. In short since their journey into foster care is one of uncertainty, pain, and trauma, their journey out of foster care, no matter where they go, is often filled with more uncertainty, pain, and trauma.

I don't how Jessie became a prostitute, but her "career" is real, and supported by research. Those who have left foster care are likely to find themselves in dangerous situations. For example a study by a group called Nevada KIDS COUNT (2001) interviewed 100 youth who had aged out of foster car. Among their finding were that 55%  two-thirds of foster care alumni earned less than $10,000 annually, and 41% did not have enough money to cover basic living expenses. Nearly a quarter of them had supported themselves at some time by dealing drugs, and 11% had had sexual intercourse in exchange for money.

My own transition from foster care was punctuated with homelessness, financial difficulties that resulted in bankruptcy, loss of several jobs and a string of failed relationships. I was likely suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Shockingly, it turns out that a higher percentage of foster care alumni are diagnosed with PTSD than are war veterans.

While all of this appears dire and dark, there is hope as emerging good things are happening for this population. More and states are extending support for young people in the foster care system from the tender age of 18 to age 21. And more and more universities and colleges are providing programming on campus for former foster kids who attend school. My alma mater, Western Michigan University, has developed the Seita Scholars Program that provides full-tuition scholarships, a year-round campus home, and personal and academic support to students in what has become the largest and most comprehensive program of its kind in the nation. This year, 141 students are part of the program.

John Seita is the author of four books: God Is in the Kitchen and Other Everyday Miracles; In Whose Best Interest? (With Martin Mitchell and Christi Tobin); Growing up in the Care of Strangers (with Waln Brown) and Kids Who Outwit Adults (with Larry Brendtro. He on the faculty of the School of Social Work and is married with one child.

The Rules: There are three ways to enter to win a copy of God Is in the Kitchen and Other Everyday Miracles. You don't have to do all three, just pick one.

Tweet what your #FridaysMark is (be sure to include the hashtag #FridaysMark)
Comment on this blog post with your Friday's Mark (and I'll tweet it for you)
Comment on the link on my Facebook fanpage with your Friday's Mark (again, I'll tweet it for you)

What is a Friday's Mark? It's a simple statement about what you are doing to make the world a better place. Whether you save the whales, rescue strays, work with foster children, volunteer at the soup pantry or simply do your very best to always be kind to the cashier at the grocery store – how do you brighten the world around you? What kind of mark do you leave on the world? Share it with us for a chance to win!

Entries will be accepted through the end of the day on Friday, February 3, 2012.

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