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Is it too soon to be thinking about Valentine's Day? I'm vaguely thinking about it at the moment because I am chronically disorganised and need a good fortnight's advance notice if I am going to be required to produce presents and a card for an occasion. I like to think of myself as being spontaneous but actually I'm just a bit lazy with a very tenuous grasp on sense of occasion.

My husband puts me to shame though – he likes to PRETEND that he's above all that sort of nonsense, but he's extremely thoughtful and a bit romantic when it comes to present giving so I've had to step my game up a bit to compete. All of my exes were RUBBISH at special occasions (high points were an inflatable hammer WITH A HOLE IN IT for my eighteenth birthday; a Playstation 2 when actually I wanted A BLOODY TIARA WITH SPIDERS ON and hate games consoles one Christmas and a Blood Bowl team (unpainted) when I hate all that Games Workshop nonsense but, hey, he got it free because he worked for them so THAT'S okay for my twentieth birthday) so I got away with being rubbish too – well NO MORE. Those days are OVER. Those days are GONE.

You all seemed a bit keen on my Dark Victorian guide to Christmas present giving, so let's have a bit more of That Sort Of Thing for a Valentine's Day with a difference shall we?

Ah, I love cards like this one from Pretty Girl Postcards. Also check out Tokyo Milk's selection of cards, like the one at the top of this post.

I also love this Madame de Pompadour envelope and paper from Evolution Handmade. It's perfect for scrawling romantic nonsenses…

A Victorian styled pearl and hematite necklace by the House of D. Perfect for adding a bit of glamour to whatever your idea of a seductive ensemble might be.

A Steampunk styled 1888 print by BiloxHousewife.

A Jack the Ripper Victorian penny pendant from Hoolala. I'm on the constant lookout for one of these with an 1888 penny.

Suffrage pour les femmes – a fab pendant from Ms Mutiny. This made me think of SO MANY people!

Marie Antoinette print by Once Tattered. I love this sort of thing – it's so quirky and yet pretty.

Brewing Stars with Little Bear by Lisa Falzon, who designed the beautiful cover for my latest book, Before the Storm.

Lady Luck print from Madame Talbot's Victorian and Gothic Lowbrow. I have the amazing Jack the Ripper print from this store and am planning to buy several more as I think they are amazing pieces.

Too good not to be featured twice – brothel tokens from The Hand of Fatima. I LOVE these. Oh so much.

Bearded Lady pendant by The Mymble's Daughter, who do fabulous Victorian styled pieces inspired by Alice in Wonderland, freak shows and fairytales.

Tainted Love perfume by Tokyo Milk. One day, when I am rich, I am going to make an IMMENSE order to Tokyo Milk for all sorts of things.

Count and Countess mugs from Burke and Hare, who have an amazing store full of weird and wonderful curios. I was hoping to feature the similar Wishing Thorn store too but they are down at the moment, which is a shame.

Oh it's almost Mother's Day too isn't it? Here in the UK anyway. I think I may be getting one of these Lizzie Borden cards for my mother (don't worry, she'll definitely appreciate the tenuous dark humour behind it – she's a social worker, after all…)

Lizzie Borden Mother's Day card from Pixxxie Pie and Posie.

I hope you like the various trinkets I have picked out but ultimately I really hope this serves as an inspiration to have a look on Etsy and other such places for lovely presents instead of shamefacedly handing over an unhappy looking bear holding a felt 'I LOVE YOU' garland of hearts. Oh crikey, and that reminds me of the ex boyfriend who bought me such a bear and PULLED THE GARLAND OFF IT AND THREW IT AWAY IN FRONT OF ME WHILE SAYING 'IT'S A BIT SOON FOR THAT SORT OF THING, BUT HAVE THE BEAR ANYWAY.' Twonk klaxon going off!

Filed under: bloody crumpets, jack the ripper, lizzie borden, marie antoinette, not goth, not twilight, plague rats, pointless waffle, Valentine's Day