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The images in the post are from Calvin and Hobbes comic strip.

Kid 1, tearing into the house: What's for dinner?

Me: Broiled chicken breasts, marinated in Italian dressing, salad, and ravioli.

Kid 1:

 

 

Me: Grrrr.

Kid 1: Are you going to actually like make some spaghetti sauce for ravioli?

Me: I don't know.

Kid 1:

 

 

 

Me: GRRRR.  Here, I will make sauce.

***

Later, upstairs after I had gone upstairs and Kid 1 came to tell me that food was yummy, and she was sorry, and she was just having "low blood sugar."

Gordon: You didn't have to go upstairs.

Me: My feelings were hurt.  It's your fault.

Gordon: ?

Me: Your genes ruined all my babies.

Gordon: Really?

Me: Yes! My kids were all sweet and polite and considerate until your genes got involved.

Gordon: You must have some kids I don't know about.

Me, hitting him with a pillow: Your DNA, your fault.

Gordon: Aha.  Well, our daughter chocked somebody out at school today.

Me: What?

Gordon: Everybody in theater class wanted Kid 2 as an extra for their movies, so she had to wear scrubs.  Apparently she liked it. So she was walking around in scrubs and for some reason she ended up putting this boy into a choke hold and when people became concerned, she told them, "It's okay, I'm a doctor."

Me:

 

 

 

 

***

Before bed

Me: So did the boy actually do anything to her?

Gordon: I don't think so.  She did it because she thought it was funny.

Me: That's you. That's pure you.

Gordon: It was pretty funny.

Me: Don't come around me with your genes.

Gordon: Hehehe.

Me: I mean it.