Flag Abuse

The controversy over gender identities of authors which has recently exploded on Goodreads as well as on other MM blogs throughout the Internet, has taken up a lot more of my time and emotion than I would like to admit. I’m honestly surprised by how much this issue has bothered me.

When I first heard about it, my initial reaction was, “Wow, I’m not going to step into this one.” So many of the people I genuinely care about and respect have weighed in with their opinions already. Many were quite vehement. Some see it as a loyalty issue. Some think of it as a matter of privacy. Others feel it is really about integrity and honesty.

The reason that I have finally decided to voice my opinion is not because I wish to be a part of an argument. I understand and respect the points that have been made on both sides of this issue. I do think we should conduct ourselves in an adult-like manner and refrain from spreading gossip. I do agree that outing people is very mean and vindictive. I do have sincere concern for the author who has subsequently stated that he is suffering from depression and thoughts of suicide, and I will make every effort I can to be supportive.

But there is something about this entire brouhaha that really bothers me. Not everyone is going to understand my feelings on this. Some people are dispassionate when it comes to public figures. While there are some who have certain iconic celebrities that they idolize and respect, many do not allow themselves to become emotionally invested in that manner. These people are the ones who are unfazed when a hero falls from grace. These same people tend to regard the rest of the population as being sappy, overly sensitive, or unnecessarily dramatic.

Well, I admit it. I’m in the sappy category. Having heroes is important to me. Some of the people I look up to the most are authors. Since I’ve been an aspiring author for so many years myself, I tend to idolize those who are successful and talented. I am particularly impressed and encouraged by gay authors. To me, they are like role models.

This being said, as an author I have gotten “fan mail” from readers—particularly young people—who are also like this. When I first began posting my free stories on the Internet, I received over a thousand emails in one week. These letters were heartfelt, and many of the letter writers wanted to know about me. Many were kids who had not come out of the closet, and they thanked me for writing about topics that were pertinent to their lives.

When I think about the possibility that many of these readers may have felt this way about the author who is embroiled in the current controversy, I am saddened.

This author had created an entire identity in which he presented himself as a gay man who’d been the victim of bashing. He wrote a coming out story which was very meaningful to many people. He posted photos of a male model and talked about his gay relationship with another male author.

I hope this author continues to write MM fiction. He’s very talented, and I don’t wish him any ill-will whatsoever. I also hope he gets the help he needs right now to battle the depression and suicidal ideation that has besieged him as a result of this controversy.

But what he did was very deceptive, and it is something that goes beyond loyalty and privacy. I will continue to remain loyal to him, and I will continue to respect his privacy. This doesn’t mean that I think it is acceptable that so many people were deliberately deceived.

Gay youth today have enough enemies. They have enough hardship, including hate crimes, bullying, rejection from their families and loved ones, discrimination in the work place and at school, and just general homophobia. Believe me, they can use all of the positive role models they can get.

When you think about this issue, please consider the bigger picture. It’s about more than an author’s right to privacy. It is about our identity as gay people … and about our right to believe in our heroes.