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Lance Carbuncle
Goodreads author profile
url
http://www.goodreads.com/Carbuncle
born
September 09, 1968
in The United States
gender
male
website
genre
influences
Oberdorfer, Zappa, Vonnegut, Sister Mary Catherine of Superfecundation...more
member since
October 2007
Grundish and Askew is now available as an ebook here on Goodreads.com. Check out the free sample of the first 20% of the book. When you like what you see, you will want to buy the entire ebook. I have discounted the sale price for Goodreads members. Go check it out and please spread the carbuncle.
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Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked and Spewed
   3.84 avg rating — 363 ratings
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published
2007
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My rating:
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Grundish and Askew
3.85 avg rating — 160 ratings
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published
2009
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3 editions
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My rating:
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Lance said:
"Good Lord. Sometimes I am just so amazed with myself. Did I write this masterpiece? Could I really be the literary genius who penned such a compelling tale? When I think about it, it makes me want to do some stretches, dab some cologne behind my ears...more
"
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"Foxthyme wrote: "Okay, preparation in the works. Rubber gloves. Strong soap. Essential oil air cleaner. Rubber boots. I've just ordered Smashed, Squas...more
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| I'm a big fan of David David's work. I loved Death by Zamboni and thought it was hilarious. This book is completely different and incredibly creative. I blurbed A Greater Monster, writing “Beautiful mystic-schizo DayGlo wordage. Poetic prose that bef...more | |
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“People who don't know me well enough might say I'm delusional and paranoid, but they're just out to get me.”
― Lance Carbuncle, Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked and Spewed
― Lance Carbuncle, Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked and Spewed
“It is always hard for me to share my creative output with others...It feels like I have taken a big dump on a platter and set it out at a party for people to view. I hope you like the way it looks and smells.”
― Lance Carbuncle
― Lance Carbuncle
“They are not unattractive in the sense that I am drunk and they likely have female genitalia.”
― Lance Carbuncle, Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked and Spewed
― Lance Carbuncle, Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked and Spewed
Topics Mentioning This Author
| topics | posts | views | last activity | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Bizarro fiction.: What are you reading now? | 17 | 61 | Dec 28, 2009 08:09pm | |
| The Next Best Boo...: End of the Year Summary | 81 | 236 | Dec 29, 2009 05:48pm | |
| Challenge: 50 Books: Brian's Books for 2009 | 111 | 503 | Dec 29, 2009 06:22pm | |
| The Next Best Boo...: Author Interview with David David Katzman | 5 | 30 | Jan 20, 2010 04:34am | |
| Between the Lines: What books are you reading? | 1809 | 1963 | Jul 23, 2010 01:14pm | |
| Every one's Choice: Winners for August | 111 | 89 | Aug 23, 2010 12:00pm | |
| The Next Best Boo...: Cait's Reading Goals for 2010 - Kaput | 27 | 140 | Jan 04, 2011 09:09am | |
| Every one's Choice: WINNERS for April | 45 | 34 | Apr 14, 2011 05:49am | |
| Book Giveaways: TWISTED TALES book giveaways every Thursday | 3 | 26 | May 12, 2011 11:37am | |
| Every one's Choice: Grundish & Askew - Author Q&A | 3 | 5 | Jul 20, 2011 07:25am |
“It is always hard for me to share my creative output with others...It feels like I have taken a big dump on a platter and set it out at a party for people to view. I hope you like the way it looks and smells.”
― Lance Carbuncle
― Lance Carbuncle
“Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.”
― Ernest Hemingway
― Ernest Hemingway
“Information is not knowledge.
Knowledge is not wisdom.
Wisdom is not truth.
Truth is not beauty.
Beauty is not love.
Love is not music.
Music is THE BEST.”
― Frank Zappa
Knowledge is not wisdom.
Wisdom is not truth.
Truth is not beauty.
Beauty is not love.
Love is not music.
Music is THE BEST.”
― Frank Zappa
Lance Carbuncle Q&A
— 83 members
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Lance Carbuncle and The Next Best Book group bring you a question and answer session with Lance Carbuncle, author of Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Ch...more
The Next Best Book Club
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As your humble moderator, I feel the need to ask you a few questions: Are you searching for the NEXT best book? Are you willing to kiss all your spare c...more
THE JAMES MASON COMMUNITY BOOK CLUB
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ALL GENRE COMMUNITY OF BOOK LOVERS-Perfect for those interested in good books of any genre, film and lively discussion!-(300 PLUS DISCUSSION TOPICS)fr...more
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A nice and comfortable place with no pressure and all are relaxed. Everyone gets a chance to request their fave book. All get involved. Each month eve...more
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Tips from authors for authors. List what works for you and what hasn't. Whether you're selling a few author copies or just trying to get your name out...more
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If you love horror literature, movies, and culture, you're in the right place. Whether it's vampires, werewolves, zombies, serial killers, plagues, or...more
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For those of you who like to blog, or like to read blogs.
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Where Book lovers & Book bloggers come to network!
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This group is a way to gather together people who like to write book reviews as well as advertise their book review blogs. With enough people we will...more
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A group dedicated to Quirky Humour. Talk about wry, witty, quirky books. Or basically, books with an unusual or unconventional sense of humour. Don´t...more
Comments (showing 4-53)
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Foxthyme wrote: "Okay, preparation in the works. Rubber gloves. Strong soap. Essential oil air cleaner. Rubber boots. I've just ordered Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked and Spewed. If it's anything li..."Foxthyme wrote: "Okay, preparation in the works. Rubber gloves. Strong soap. Essential oil air cleaner. Rubber boots. I've just ordered Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked and Spewed. If it's anything li..."
I recommend rubbing some Vick's Vaporub on your upper lip to mask the smell, too.
Okay, preparation in the works. Rubber gloves. Strong soap. Essential oil air cleaner. Rubber boots. I've just ordered Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked and Spewed. If it's anything like Grundish and Askew, I need to be ready for it!
Thank you very much for the invite =)FYI, I´m a girl (it´s because of the glasses, isn´t it? yeah, I see how that can be confusing... actually I only ever wear them when I intend to look/feel smart... and that usually only works as long as I keep my mouth shut or until my clumsiness takes over)
Foxthyme wrote: "Hey, Checking in. Wondering if you are writing a new scatological tale at the moment? I am up for reading Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked and Spewed, but I have to prepare mentally..."
I have my third book, Sloughing Off the Rot, just about ready to go. It will be out before the end of the year. I'm glad you're enjoying my work.
Hey, Checking in. Wondering if you are writing a new scatological tale at the moment? I am up for reading Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked and Spewed, but I have to prepare mentally! Then I will plunge in.
You really do write unforgettable stuff.
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Happy Holidays Lance! If you have a chance you should youtube "Fruitcake" by The Superions. It's bizarre and hilarious so I think you'll like it. Destination Christmas is the album name and I'll be listening to this throughout the weekend :) CHEERS!
Thank u Lance for the add ;-)
http://www.bfspublishing.com/Scholars...
Give it a try !!
Happy writing &reading!!
Jenn wrote: "So excited! My husband bought both your books from your site yesterday. We can't wait to read them!"Very cool. I hope you like them both. Let me know what you think when you're done.
peace,
carbuncle
After reading a certain section of my Anatomy text tonight, I now have an entirely new appreciation for your name. :oD
Thank you for the random add, and I will be picking up your book as it does seem to be in my tastes.Just a random question. I'm fairly into psychology theories... actually anything that theoretical and at least has some logic (Hates Astrology). I'm an ENTP, and was wondering if you were too? I'm just noticing it by the way you write.
:D Anyways, I just woke up so I'm sounding dull.
I wish I could read your books, they seem like real fun, but they're not available in Portugal :( maybe in a couple of years.
Thank you for your kind offer of virtual friendship Mr Carbuncle.I will buy your next book purely for the title.
and finished! very entertaining. very much appreciated all of the footnotes. and i about pissed myself when i read the bit about bernice and her freezer.i have a cousin named angus. he's a cute kid, with the biggest ears i've ever seen on a toddler.
Jess wrote: "Lance, I read Stankpit. It's completely insane. I really look forward to read more of your work"Jess, Glad you enjoyed it. You should check out my first novel, Smashed, Squashed, Splattered, Chewed, Chunked and Spewed. Also, within the next couple of months, Vicious Books is releasing my next novel, Grundish and Askew. Please let me know what you think if you get the chance to check out my books.
Be cool,
Carbuncle
Lyric wrote: "p.s. i'm partial to mrs. miller's versions of Downtown and Monday, Monday."And who can blame you?
Lance wrote: "Cool. Tell your book club members that they can buy signed copies of Smashed on Lancecarbuncle.com. My signed copies cost less than on Amazon or Barnesandnoble.com"passed that message on. i wish i'd been able to go that route, but i am broke as a joke and i was only able to get the two copies that i ordered by way of an amazon gift certificate i received for my birthday. i just started it last night. digging it so far.
Lyric wrote: "SSSCC&S is going to be the June reading for the book club i run. looking forward to finally reading it. ordering my copy right...now."Cool. Tell your book club members that they can buy signed copies of Smashed on Lancecarbuncle.com. My signed copies cost less than on Amazon or Barnesandnoble.com. Enjoy. And, please let me know what your club thinks of Smashed.
Peace,
Carbuncle
SSSCC&S is going to be the June reading for the book club i run. looking forward to finally reading it. ordering my copy right...now.
Hi Lance!I don't get to Goodreads nearly as often as I'd like because I'm writing my 4th book. So, I wanted to make sure and stop by and let you know that I am thrilled to be your friend here! Are you on twitter? My twitter name is: linc0lnpark
Have a fantastic day!
-L-
Noran wrote: "Just ordered your book this am--it was on my list for 2009. My Easter gift to myself! :)"Very cool. I hope you enjoy it. Please let me know what you think.
Be cool,
Carbuncle
Just wanted to stop in and wish you the best of the holiday season! Merry Christmas!-NoranHammond,IN :)
thanks for adding me! i read a review of your book and it sounds insane...but in a good way!!-lauren
Hi Lance :)I just wanted to ask how the event went on the ‘Bloggers Unite’ Group?
I hope you had a lot of comments and entries! ;) Dare I hope that I am in the running for a copy of your book?
Have a great day; the weekend is almost here!
Cheers,
Bobbie
funny thing, while I was working the 12 hours trenches of ER, over the three day holiday weekend- i was thinking about your book, and how witty a premise it was. My brother has had two hounds, and they were quite the characters! :) Thanks for the invite!
