Mallory Ortberg




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Mallory Ortberg

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July 2014

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Mallory Ortberg None of them because I like being the bonkers, demanding friend. I am 100% Jenna Maroney, and I need a Liz Lemon who will listen to me and put up with…moreNone of them because I like being the bonkers, demanding friend. I am 100% Jenna Maroney, and I need a Liz Lemon who will listen to me and put up with my antics without question. Every single beloved literary character is Jenna Maroney. Mr. Rochester is more Jenna Maroney than anyone else in the world. (less)
Mallory Ortberg I DID, I DID. Oh man, was Theodora the coolest, calmest dyke around or what? There's the extreme coyness about her "friend" back home -- it's not just…moreI DID, I DID. Oh man, was Theodora the coolest, calmest dyke around or what? There's the extreme coyness about her "friend" back home -- it's not just that the gender of her roommate (whose fight with Theodora was apparently so devastating that Theodora had to MOVE INTO A HAUNTED HOUSE) is never mentioned, it's that it's deliberately toyed with.

Everything about Theo is coded according to 1960s-era terms -- Eleanor calls her "unnatural," which is mid-century American for "a scary lesbian." And Eleanor is totally fascinated and enamored with her for it. Eleanor -- to me -- reads more like a child than a grown woman. Her attachment to Theo is desperate and all-consuming. There are elements of the erotic to it (the hand-holding, the bed-sharing) but it's also sisterly, it's very familial. Sometimes she treats her like the good mother she never had. It certainly rings more true than the half-hearted crush she musters up for Luke. I think Eleanor is the kind of person who is capable of falling in love with anyone who shows her a bit of kindness and dignity, and I think she has a particular affinity for other women. So Theo absolutely, Eleanor mostly.

GOD, what do you think Theo told her girlfriend when she moved back in? "So about that house..."(less)
Average rating: 3.67 · 6,900 ratings · 1,366 reviews · 3 distinct works · Similar authors
Texts from Jane Eyre: And O...

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3.67 avg rating — 6,892 ratings — published 2014 — 10 editions
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The Merry Spinster

0.00 avg rating — 0 ratings — expected publication 2018
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Star Wars: From a Certain P...

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really liked it 4.00 avg rating — 3 ratings — expected publication 2017 — 2 editions
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Interviews

November 2014, Mallory Ortberg
"Her debut, Texts from Jane Eyre, climbs into the minds of our favorite characters—from Hamlet to Nancy Drew—and imagines the hilarious text messages they might exchange." ...More

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Excellent Women
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And the Show Went On
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Mallory’s Recent Updates

Mallory Ortberg is now friends with Rajiv Ayyangar
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The Faithful Executioner by Joel F. Harrington
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A Thousand Lives by Julia Scheeres
A Thousand Lives
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Caucasia by Danzy Senna
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Excellent Women by Barbara Pym
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And the Show Went On by Alan Riding
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Off the Wall by Michael P. Ghiglieri
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And the Show Went On by Alan Riding
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More of Mallory's books…
“what is a dream but a series of lies designed to keep us immobilized in a dark room for hours at a time”
Mallory Ortberg, Texts from Jane Eyre: And Other Conversations with Your Favorite Literary Characters

“frosting emergencies are just as real as other kinds of emergencies”
Mallory Ortberg, Texts from Jane Eyre: And Other Conversations with Your Favorite Literary Characters

“I do not have any of even the littlest hard feelings all of my feelings about you are just so soft and so normal just normal soft feelings that you’re going to love”
Mallory Ortberg, Texts from Jane Eyre: And Other Conversations with Your Favorite Literary Characters

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