Lynne Griffin's Blog

Everyone can call up a story from childhood of being made fun of or of feeling left out. I know I can. Today, there's even less professional supervision around socializing, making the work of navigating friendships tougher for lots of children, not to mention their parents. When a friend of mine recently lamented about how hard recess is for her school-age daughter, I directed her to this Fox Morning News clip, where I offer tips on teaching your child how to handle playground politics.

What a great weekend! Saturday I attended the Boston Book Festival to present a workshop co-sponsored by Grub Street called Jumpstart Your Writing. Take a look at the gorgeous view from our window inside the Trinity Church. The writers who participated were eager learners and together we examined how to mine the unconscious for meaningful material.

Lucky Boston to have had Jennifer Egan, Michael Ondaatje, and Siddhartha Markerjee in attendance, just to name a few. I'm still holding on to inspiration. Boston's south shore has a wealth of authors who participated. I was lucky to be one of them. Check out this piece in the Patriot Ledger.

...Before her presentation, Scituate author Lynne Griffin, who also serves on the Boston Book Festival's Literary Advisory Group, marveled at what had been accomplished in only three years by festival organizers.  Griffin, whose third novel, "The Last Resort," will be published by Simon & Schuster in 2012, said Boston is in debt to festival founder and executive director Deborah Porter for bringing so many literate minds together.

"New England is blessed," said Griffin. "With all that's going on in with books, it's critical to provide this kind of opportunity for readers and writers to connect."

Novelist Jennifer Egan felt the same. For Egan, whose novel "Visit from the Goon Squad," was awarded the 2011 Pulitzer for fiction, attending the book festival was… READ MORE

Sunday was a lazy day. With my husband spending time with his parents and my kids spending the day with each other, I had no responsibilities. So what did I do? Read of course. I devoured the latest edition of Ploughshares. Can't stop thinking about Sue Miller's story from Burning Summer. And Nickolas Butler's Apples. More writing inspiration came via the archived interview with author of REVOLUTIONARY ROAD's Richard Yates. Writers, here are the highlights:

"I much prefer the kind of story where the reader is left wondering who's to blame until it begins to dawn on him (the reader) that he himself must bear some of the responsibility because he's human and therefore infinitely fallible."
"I've always admired Flaubert's great line: "The writer's relation to his work must be like that of God to the Universe: omnipresent and invisible"
"I think it's a cop-out to say that our times are too hectic or frantic or confusing for good, traditional, formal novels to emerge. I think that's just a cheap answer."
"…plain luck, after all, may be the one thing a good writer needs most. I think it probably is the hardest and loneliest profession in the world, this crazy, obsessive business of trying to be a good writer. None of us ever knows how much time he has left, or how well he'll be able to use that time, or whether, even if he does use his time well, his work will ever withstand and survive the terrible, inexorable indifference of time itself."

On to finish the unbelievable LAST NIGHT AT TWISTED RIVER by John Irving. Every single novel this man writes is a masterpiece and his latest is no exception.

I started and finished a gripping tale of revenge and murder by the late Austin Wright. TONY AND SUSAN is so compelling you'll want someone else to read it pronto so you can discuss it. The ending, oh my goodness, the ending.

So the weekend was filled with all things books. And so is my work week. Gotta run now. My novel-in-progress is calling.

Just came across this thought-provoking essay over at The Millions written by Mark O'Connell about one reader's love of books and the cognitive dissonance which comes from the move toward e-books.

Here are some points well-made.

"I, like a lot of other people, enjoy books as objects. Despite the difficulties that can arise from their accumulation, I like that they occupy physical as well as mental space."

"I don't look forward to a future in which my Kindle (or whatever device inevitably succeeds it) is the only book on the shelf. But it's a future I'm fairly convinced is awaiting us, and it's one that I, as a consumer, am playing my part in advancing us toward."

"Ultimately, you're never going to win an argument against convenience, no matter how much you love the anachronistic, heavy, unwieldy, and beautiful thing you want to save."

This essay spotlighting the independent bookstore Buttonwood Books first appeared

on Dawn Rennert's blog She is too fond of books.

I've loved Buttonwood Books since long before I had dreams of seeing my published work on its shelves. In the coastal town of Cohasset just twenty miles south of Boston, where greater Boston Harbor ends and Massachusetts Bay begins, the store was originally tucked amidst a collection of specialty stores with quaint names like Sea & Cheese. I took my children to the store often to browse books, meet guest authors, and listen to storytime, while I gabbed with knowledgeable staff about the books we'd read and loved.

When the tree lined street with all its lovely shops was forced to make way for a superstore plaza, I feared my beloved bookstore had seen its last days. Yet the tenacious and committed to all-things-books owner Betsey Detweiler assured me and the rest of her devoted customers that she wasn't going anywhere. The new store was designed by Detweiler, and it was larger and housed more books and toys, yet it retained its independent bookstore charm with its antique furniture and cozy corners, even the store teddy bear was still stationed outside.

In the new location, the author events seemed to multiply, with guest appearances by the likes of Sue Miller and Nathanial Philbrick and Carole Goodman. Event coordinator extraordinaire, Kathleen 'Totsie' McGonagle had (and still does have) a flair for event planning that I'd watched from the sidelines, hoping that someday I would be asked to read at the store, or better yet participate in the biannual Coffee with the Authors event held at the seaside restaurant Atlantica.

Betsey took a chance on me when in 2004 she consigned copies of my self-published parenting book. Three years later when my nonfiction parenting guide was published traditionally by Penguin, Betsey and Totsie hosted my book launch party and reading event. It was so fitting that these women, who'd seen my children grow up around books, and who supported me as I navigated my way toward publishing my work would be standing by me on launch day.

They've gone on to host book events for both of my novels Life Without Summer and Sea Escape. And yes, I was invited in 2009 to participate in Coffee with the Authors; a true highlight of sharing my work with readers.

The staff of Buttonwood books are exceptional, spreading the word about writers both locally and nationally recognized. In 2006 in collaboration with author Amy MacKinnon and the independent writing center Grub Street, the staff began hosting Tuesday night writing workshops held in the store, offered for free, and aimed at exposing writers of all levels to pertinent information about the art and science of writing as well as how to navigate the world of publishing.

Last year, Betsey opened her doors to me once again when she offered space after hours so I could teach courses through Grub Street. Writers living outside Boston participate in classes such as Novel-in-Progress, Jumpstart Your Writing, or Reading like a Writer, to name a few.

At Buttonwood Books, collaboration between readers, writers, and authors is the hallmark of this local treasure. My gratitude runs deep to all who work and shop there.

I provide manuscript consultation through Grub Street and I've learned a lot about how writers respond to critique.

Here are a number of myths about taking editorial feedback; some I admit to grappling with myself. With the market tight and readers choosy, you owe it to yourself to sort through your beliefs about accepting criticism.

Myth 1

If your work needs editing, it isn't very good.

Every writer needs a good editor, or two. From developmental edits about structure and voice, to copy edits for consistent grammar, open your mind to this: you will be edited. Before any kind of submission, be sure to find smart, savvy readers. Your work will absolutely be better as a result of constructive feedback thoughtfully considered.

Myth 2

If you accept the editorial feedback, then the story isn't yours.

You're in the driver's seat when it comes to making the final choices about what stays and what goes, what is deepened and strengthened. If you write with the hopes of being published, then get set to embrace a team mentality when it comes to fine-tuning your work.

Myth 3

If there's too much editorial feedback, then the story probably isn't worth revising.

Feedback on early drafts may well be overwhelming, but keep in mind most writers believe it is in revision that the real writing takes place. I doubt Arthur Golden or Wally Lamb would show you first drafts of either Memoirs of a Geisha or She's Come Undone.

Myth 4

If an editor suggests that an aspect of your work is confusing, he just doesn't get what you were trying to do.

When one trusted reader says he doesn't get,  then another says the same, it's time to listen. If some readers don't understand something, likely other readers won't either. There's an art and a science to listening to feedback, and then of course to taking it.

Myth 5

If your editor gives you feedback, that means she doesn't like the work.

Often editors can be more objective about your work than you can be. Simply because she points out flaws in an argument or a weak plot line doesn't mean she doesn't like your overall effort. It's all too easy to take things personally. At the same time, not all feedback is right for your story. While you owe it to yourself to consider it all, that doesn't mean you need to respond to it all. If I've learned anything after editing three novels, it's that not all critique is created equal. You'll need to know when to listen and when to do what's right for your story.

Like anything in this journey toward living a literary life, it's important to learn where you are in accepting honest, constructive feedback. Perspective taking is hard work, but I will say it's important to do. If you're able to let go of mythical thinking and really sort through the feedback you're receiving, only then will you be able to see what rings true and what doesn't. You'll be in a better position to execute changes that deepen the piece, and in the process you'll become a better writer.

Welcome author Jael McHenry to Family Life Stories! In this guest post she discusses an interesting family-focused aspect of her new novel.

Jael McHenry is a talented and enthusiastic amateur cook who grew up in Michigan and Iowa before moving from city to city along the East Coast: Boston, Washington, D.C., Philadelphia, and now New York, where she blogs about food and cooking at the Simmer blog. She is a monthly pop culture columnist and Editor-in-Chief of Intrepid Media. Her work has appeared in publications such as the North American Review, Indiana Review, and the Graduate Review at American University, where she earned her MFA in Creative Writing. The Kitchen Daughter is her first novel.

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Family Protectiveness in The Kitchen Daughter

As the title suggests, The Kitchen Daughter centers on one particular member of a family—Ginny Selvaggio, a 26-year-old with undiagnosed Asperger's syndrome. Ginny has always been shy and sheltered, and when her parents both die in an accident, she is thrown into a new world she's unprepared to handle. She has always lived in her childhood home with her parents, while her younger sister Amanda is a wife and mother who has established a family of her own. After their parents' deaths, Ginny wants to live independently in the home she's always known, while Amanda wants to sell the house and move Ginny in with her own family nearby.

It would be easy to say that Ginny has difficulty with the outside world because of her Asperger's syndrome, but the story I wanted to tell in The Kitchen Daughter is more complex. It isn't just a question of diagnosis. A major theme in the story is the protectiveness of Ginny's parents, particularly her mother, who wants to shelter her from an uncomfortable and often unfriendly world. As a result, Ginny has never held a job, traveled to another city by herself, gone on a date, or experienced any one of a hundred other rites of passage.

But who could blame Ginny's mother for her overprotective attitude? The instinct of a mother to protect her child can be even stronger than the instinct for self-preservation. It is deep and strong and nearly universal. Protecting our children from discomfort, pain, and danger isn't unique to families like Ginny's. We often struggle with protecting each other from the worst of the world. No matter how well we safeguard our children, there's no guarantee that we can keep them from harm. We can only try our best, over and over, year after year.

The conundrum in the story is this: have Ginny's mother's attempts to keep her child safe ultimately done her a disservice? I've talked with readers about this issue, and none of us have settled on a sure answer. I'm not sure there is one, really. Ginny's mother insists that she go to school and get an education, so she isn't at that kind of disadvantage. But she's so scared that Ginny might experience something unpleasant, she's afraid to have her experience anything at all.

It's also not an unusual family dynamic that once Ginny's mother is gone, Ginny's sister Amanda ends up, consciously or unconsciously, stepping into her place. Amanda wants to protect Ginny. She wants to keep an eye on her, and take the safer path of living with the family instead of living on her own. But Ginny wants to be independent. And readers have been known to side with Amanda over Ginny – in a way, she's right. She's never seen Ginny live independently, so how does she know Ginny's capable of it?

The answer to that question is the heart of the story. The only way to know whether we can do something is to have done it. Sometimes our families make that easier, and sometimes they make it harder – and for Ginny, it's a little of both. Her family dynamics define her, as they define all of us, at the beginning. But it's how she redefines herself – with Amanda and against her – that makes her journey unique.

I first became aware of Edith Pearlman and her stories when I attended the 2006 Best American Short Stories event hosted by Ann Patchett. Ann read the story Self-Reliance aloud and I was enamored. With the publication of Edith's latest story collection, Binocular Vision, it seems others feel the same. Welcome Edith!

Author of the book(s): Vaquita, Love Among the Greats, How To Fall, Binocular Vision



What you write: short stories

Why you write: I love the work

When you began writing seriously: 31

How old you were when you first published and what that piece was: 32.  A story called "Which Eleanor Am I" in Seventeen

Was anyone in your family a natural storyteller: My mother could get a story onto a postcard.  I am still aiming for this compression.

A childhood memory related to this person or books in general: My favorite aunt taught me how to read at 4, and changed my life.

Were you always a creative person: yes

Do you have any other creative outlets: matchmaking

A book you wished you'd written: Anything by Penelope Fitzgerald

A book you hope to write/or a glimpse inside the book you're writing next: I am working on a story about the bond between two cousins

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Wonderful news! Edith Pearlman to receive the 2011 PEN/Malumud Award, which recognizes a body of work that demonstrates excellence in the art of short fiction.

Sea Escape is a deeply personal novel inspired by family letters. Like the character Laura Martinez, I too was wedged in the middle place, grappling with my busy life as a nurse, wife, and devoted mom to two young children, when my mother suffered a devastating stroke.

Like Laura, I've felt the incredible longing to be closer to my mother after great loss came uninvited into our lives. My mother suffered from complicated grief, otherwise known as prolonged grief disorder.  A specific kind of depression brought on by loss that for some reason refuses to follow the typical trajectory of grief.  In my years as a grief counselor, I've met countless people who simply cannot move through the grieving process.  I empathize with the character Helen, stuck in the past, gripped by her pain.  And I have enormous compassion for what my mother experienced after the death of my father.

Here's a piece I did for Boston's Fox Morning News on the topic of complicated grief. Feel free to share this information with friends and family who may benefit.

Story link: MyFoxBOSTON.com

Grief is a broad and complex topic.  While there are some informative self-help books available  on coping with the nuances of grieving, it is the very nature of loss, the fact that it is both a universal and personal experience that makes it hard to tackle in prescriptive ways.  Every person's journey toward healing is deeply personal, and yet we're all tied to each other in the collective experience of it. In today's Family Life Stories book segment, I've chosen to highlight a stunning collection of novels and memoirs about different types of loss, each with a strong message that there is hope in healing.

Family life stories: Grief and loss: MyFoxBOSTON.com

EMILY, ALONE–A novel

by Stewart O'Nan

With fresh observations and flawless characters, O'Nan takes on the psychology of aging.  Readers will fall in love with Emily as she questions her ability to drive, wonders if she'll outlive her dear dog Rufus; as she contemplates what will happen to her children as she makes her final arrangements.  This is as perfect as a novel can be.

SAY HER NAME–A novel

by Fransico Goldman

In this novel–which fictionalizes a real event in the life of the author–one man comes to terms with the unexpected loss of his wife in a freak accident. Set in both NY city and Mexico city, it's about what happens to one family in the wake of tragedy, and about the toxic power of blame.

HISTORY OF SUICIDE: My Sister's Unfinished Life

by Jill Bialosky

More than tweny years after her sister's suicide, poet, novelist and editor Bialosky reflects on the life altering experience of losing a loved one to despair. A very tough topic is handled with grace and insight, and sheds new light on this misunderstood and stigmatizing kind of loss.

THE LONG GOODBYE–A memoir

by Meghan O'Rourke

Culture editor and literary critic for Slate, and poet, O'Rourke writes a meditation on losing her mother to cancer. Her lyrical yet powerful writing takes readers on a journey of understanding about the difficult task of coming to terms with–if one ever does–the loss of a parent. Reflections on the grief experience are spot on.

SEA ESCAPE–A novel

by Lynne Griffin

In my second novel, inspired by personal family letters and my own mother's struggle with grief after the death of my father, I explore the topic of complicated–or prolonged–grief in a fictional story.

Additional Selections

Memoir

Choosing to See by Mary Beth Chapman

Comfort by Ann Hood

A Widow's Story by Joyce Carol Oates

Reading My Father by Alexandra Styron

The Suicide Index by Joan Wickersham

Children's

Fireflies, Peach Pies, and Lullabies by Virginia Kroll

When Dinosaurs Die: A guide to understanding death by Marc Brown and Laurie Krasny Brown

Sea Escape is a deeply personal novel inspired by family letters. Like the character Laura Martinez, I too was wedged in the middle place, grappling with my busy life as a nurse, wife, and devoted mom to two young children, when my mother suffered a devastating stroke.

In this fictional story about the ties that bind mothers and daughters, Laura goes to Sea Escape, the pristine beach home that her mother Helen took refuge in when her carefully crafted life unraveled after the death of her beloved husband. In a desperate attempt to lure her mother into choosing life, Laura delves deeper into her tangled family history, reading love letters written by her father, each one revealing patchwork details of her parents' marriage. Until she finds a common thread. A secret mother and daughter unknowingly share.

It's been a thrill for me to attend literary luncheons, bookstores, and libraries to share the story behind writing the novel and to read aloud from its pages. Yet nothing has been more satisfying than sitting down to discuss the novel with readers. Talking about the choices we make when faced with loss, discussing what really holds relationships together when they're tested, exploring the choices we all have to forgive—I've learned so much. It's my deepest wish that, when you read this story, you will too. I'd love to visit your book club or reading group, either in person, via phone, or online, schedules permitting. Together, we're sure to have a rich conversation about the balancing act of raising capable and happy children, being accomplished steadfast wives, while still being good and gracious daughters.

You can reach me directly through my website at www.LynneGriffin.com.

Praise for SEA ESCAPE

~ Entertainment Weekly Top Ten Summer 2010 Book Pick

~ Indie Next List Notable July 2010

~ Amazon July 2010 Recommends

~ Greater Boston, PBS Summer 2010 Book Pick

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"…struggles, secrets, insecurities, and passions…a deep family mystery makes SEA ESCAPE a fully engaging read!" -Booklist

"…a multi-generational novel that plucks the heartstrings." -Entertainment Weekly

"…a perfect summer read" -Hudson Valley News

"SEA ESCAPE is an extremely touching and nostalgic work of art with an enlightening surprise ending." -Fresh Fiction Review.

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