Mayra Lazara Dole's Blog

I was once invited to spend Thanksgiving at a friend’s house while living in Boston. Unlike events at Plymouth Rock with American Indians, politics wasn't in the equation.

After chitchatting about how to make authentic Cuban pork (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MWcWbN_Ok...), my friend’s retired English professor grandma sat next to me. As we were being served heaping, steaming plates of turkey with stuffing, cranberry sauce, green beans, yams and wild rice with mushrooms, she grasped my shoulder softly between her crooked, arthritic finger and thumb, cleared her voice, and recited verbatim:

“...Over the river, and through the wood,
to Grandfather's house away!
We would not stop for doll or top,
for 'tis Thanksgiving Day…”

The next time I visited them, I took Richard Blanco’s poem, “America” and read it to “granny” who fell in love with his poetry (especially City of One Hundred Fires--there’s a city in Cuba called Cien Fuegos/One Hundred Fires).

****
…I explained to Abuelita
about the Indians and the Pilgrims,
how Lincoln set the slaves free.
I explained to my parents about
the purple mountain's majesty,
the amber waves of grain,
"one if by land, two if by sea,"
the cherry tree, the tea party,
the "masses yearning to be free,"
liberty and justice for all...
And finally they agreed—
this Thanksgiving we would have turkey,
as well as pork.

Abuelita prepared the poor fowl
as if committing an act of treason,
harnessing as much enthusiasm
as possible, for my sake.
Mamá prepared candied yams,
following instructions printed
on the back of a marshmallow bag,
and set a frozen pumpkin pie in the oven.
Dad watched WLTV: "Lo Nuestro…"

****

Most Cuban Thanksgivings are highly emotional. They're filled with drama, pork, congri (not the way I'd make it but music is funny: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sl6-ArXe5...), yuca con mojo, cafecito Cubano, etc.,thus massively different from my one and only lovely “white” Thanksgiving.

"Granny” is no longer with us but I know she’d love the following:

"Got no check books, got no banks. Still I'd like to express my thanks - I got the sun in the mornin' and the moon at night."- Irving Berlin

I give thanks to fans of my debut novel--updated edition to be released in April, 2012--and for all the moving and beautiful emails you've sent me throughout the years. I'm thankful for my true friends and family and especially for having the most compassionate and gifted girlfriend/partner in the history of life.

I'm aware that some folks are homeless and some are poor and don't have much food to eat. Here's wishing everyone a meal tomorrow--and every day thereafter--health, and a better life...

I normally read new releases, but every year around November, I treat myself to world-famous short stories written by dead brilliant minds in the English literary tradition. http://www.eastoftheweb.com/short-storie...

Yesterday, I paid tribute to Edgar Allan Poe who once said, "All religion, my friend, is simply evolved out of fraud, fear, greed, imagination, and poetry" and read something I’d never read before: The Pit and the Pendulum--about death, choice and hope rolled into one. Although affective, I found myself cringing and wanting to stop reading… but I didn’t.

Two words: Disturbing. Claustrophobic. http://heroeswiki.com/Image:Claustrophob...

After reading the story, I dreamed Stephenie Meyer stepped into my living room wearing a long, dark raincoat. She trudged around the room, patting her pockets, searching everywhere for the Twilight Saga journal she’d misplaced. Her eyeballs landed on my half-eaten medianoche sandwich. She grabbed it from my hand, devoured it in one bite, and smiled. I watched as she looked into a mirror and swept a hand through her cascading hair while strawberry jam dripped from the side of her mouth.

Stephenie vanished and I found the journal outside on the street and tore three pages out of it and read them voraciously, but they were about Poe’s work. I pasted them on a large mirror and can’t remember the rest.

Two things are for sure:

1. I make a mean, authentic, medianoche sandwich with a twist that would bring Poe back from his grave and Stephenie over for a bite (no pun intended).

2. I have no clue what the hell my dream meant

(Getting back to the sandwich for a second…

I've also been known to prepare a mix of an Elena Ruz--another infamous Cuban sandwich--and medianoche/midnight that I only recommend once a year because it's so rich. If you’d like to make this unusual sandwich, scroll down for the recipe... if not, watch this video which has absolutely nothing to do with recipe: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=...)

Until recently, when I wrote my first dark, magical realism short story for Running Press' anthology, CORNERED--to be released Spring, 2012--I couldn’t stomach dark, bloody stories, and as you can imagine, thrillers were out of the question.

Surprisingly, I’ve gone through a breakthrough.

After writing Inside the Inside, I’ve been able to read suspense and watch suspense films (LOVE them), but not sure if I can stomach hard-core thrillers yet. Violence seriously disgusts me. Can one work their way towards reading it without feeling repulsed?

Here's the mixed-up sandwich recipe I promised:

A Sort of MEDIANOCHE / ELENA RUTH SANDWICH

Buy sweet, Hawaiian, soft rolls or Challah (sweet, soft egg bread).

Cut the loaf lengthwise. Slice your piece open, toast, and spread the following on one half:

• Butter
• Mustard
* Mayonnaise

Spread the following on the other side:

• 2 TBS Cream cheese
• 2 TBS Strawberry marmalade

Add the following:

• 3 ham slices
• 2 pork slices
• 2 turkey slices
• 2 Swiss cheese slices

Place sandwich in a hot buttered skillet and press down hard with a heavy skillet or cast iron pot till cheese melts.

Enjoy!

TIDBITS:

• You don’t need to be Cuban or an adult to make Cuban bread
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=228KxOVIu...

Some literati have started blogging again about who's allowed to write true diversity

If you're white and can dance like the following, please write an abundance of books with authentic diversity! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wb35M43Kc... (I tried to find intellectual Latino youtube videos, to no avail--believe it or not, we come in many yummy flavors and different classes, and we aren't all dancers and baseball players!)

If authors writing a culturally authentic novel incorporating Latina/o characters have no clue what the following means, "Ay, chico, para de comer lo que pica el pollo" or they need to study glossaries to understand common and contemporary Latino American words, I imagine they'd get Cuban and other Hispanic characters wrong, thus my concern and why I strongly believe authenticity is highly important in YA realistic fiction.

Must you be Latino/Hispanic to write Latina/o characters and true diversity?

Of course not!

White authors who’ve lived and breathed my culture will undoubtedly write novels filled with Cuban American characters that feel authentic. Unfortunately, some writers who don't know us well and think all Latinos are alike, and similar to the following youtube, have repetedly depicted us as such and have gotten most of us wrong: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IxZ9Vnlnp...

We live in a free country and writing what moves you is highly important.

The deal is this: We need more publishers/editors (white or not) who deeply understand diversity and different cultures so when they spot stereotypes they know the writer hasn’t a clue… For those who haven’t read my essay in Vermont College Fine Arts journal of the arts: http://www.hungermtn.org/authentic-latin...)

Unfortunately, most white authors and script-writers have gotten people of color wrong and they’ve used a myriad of hurtful stereotypes to describe us. No wonder most of the population think Latinos are mostly illiterate, drug addicts/alcoholics, criminals or maids. Most Hollywood films have depicted us as lower working-class attending to white folks’ needs.

One main issue is getting our culture right so the world understands who we are as opposed to what authors who don't know about us think we are.

If you're not African American, Latina/o, Native American, Hindu, Asian, etc., haven't been raised in above cultures, have never lived in their communities and have no close people-of-color friends, would you really feel confident in writing a culturally correct POC novel (think American Indian) and getting it right?

Tidbits:

* White guy gets Cuban slang and pronunciation wrong, but his Cubanito buddy at the end kills it (of course!) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q4ovxMFly...

* If you can't distinguish between Latino accents, you won't understand the importance of getting us right in lit. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvLup_3P2...

* If you understand this video, and the humor behind it, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=knvUE5OOq... please write an all Cuban book asap!

* Must you be Gay to write realistic fiction about homos
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9gbQKwOh... , black to write about AfAmericans, etc?

* http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pla...

Many of the thousands of Latino writers submitting to big publishers getting rejected are intellectuals or academics who write perfect English and Spanish thus I was shocked to read in Meminger's and other literary blogs about editors “throwing their doors wide to submissions by PoC” and saying “the work they're receiving seems to be sub-par, not polished, or in need of more work than they have time for in this highly competitive business.”

Most editors don’t accept unsolicited manuscripts. Writers must first go through agents. I don’t know a single agent in these times who’d present the work of a “sub-par” Latino writer to an editor.

Could this be a nasty rumor?

Who are the editors stating these comments?--luckliy, my beloved editor for Down to the Bone isn't one of them. She belongs to the list of powerful white editors interested in true diversity.

If it's true, the remarks seem racist and hurtful to Latino writers.
http://thumbs.dreamstime.com/thumb_87/11...

Marcela Landres, ex executive editor for Simon & Schuster says:

“If you are a Latino writer… all you can reasonably expect from your publisher is for them to simply print and distribute your book. Do not expect your publisher to invest more than the minimum of time and money in promoting your book…. Don’t assume your publisher or agent will actually tell you this. Most people are unwilling or unable to convey bad news; they’d rather point fingers when things go wrong. It’s just human nature.”

In order for Latino books to sell, not only do publishers/publicists need to promote Latino books in the same way they do white authors, they must have a Latino list of literary journals, newspapers, blogs, magazines, etc. Sending Latino books for review to the important white literary reviewers is important, but we need professional Latino reviewers too.

If editors put the same effort in advertising and marketing Latino books, I’m confident Latinos fierce at promoting our books can also become best-sellers.

2 Questions to editors who made remarks:

• Do you think most Hispanics and POC are illiterate or semi-illiterate?--I'm always surprised when people aren't aware that a large percentage of Latinos and POC are highly literate.
http://www.lasculturas.com/library/famou...

• If you are receiving manuscripts from Latinos that aren’t up to par, why don’t you recommend professional book doctors to them as you do with your Caucasian writers whose novels need work?

The publishing business boils down to 2 factors:

1. MONEY

2. What white editors know will sell.

In the past, many large publishers made a mint with white vampire, zombie and werewolf novels. Now, many editors are searching for Horror, Dystopian, Paranormal and Steampunk. Obviously, in this economy (unless Latinos wish to self-publish), it’s no longer about art, literary merit, or the love for the written word.

It’s all about TRENDS that rake in the mula (it’s understandable. If editors don’t publish books or authors that sell, they could be terminated).

Film director, Alejandro Agresti (Valentin and The Lake House—the latter’s stars are Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves) wrote me seven moving emails (he’s a brilliant, poetic writer and I will save them forever) expressing interest in turning Down to the Bone into a feature film. Agresti has handed my novel over to Selma Hayek, his business partner, and I’m hoping for the best.

In other words, if you give underdog Latinos an opportunity we might shine.

Unfortunately, none of my talented Latina/o writer friends submitting at the same time got published.

Now that I have my foot caught in the door, I have ventured out to write for larger audiences and in different styles (Down to the Bone was written for a “niche” audience: young LGBTQ, reluctant Latino readers without a single book that spoke to them).

It’s time for equality in the publishing business.

Editors, why not place a call for submissions for culturally authentic Latino writers and authors? It’s not enough for white authors to add Latino characters they know nothing about or for you to secretly advice white authors to invent Spanish nom de plumes. I’m confident we can find a solution for bringing in el dinero while at the same time staying true to ourselves. (In case you haven’t heard about us, there are thousands of Latino-Americanos writing contemporary books with literary merit): http://labloga.blogspot.com/

Por favor, give authentic Latinos a chance to shine in your ultra exclusive and neon white publishing world. Let agents know you’re searching for diversity and authenticity. Culturally authentic Latinos in literature means the following: http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/600...

PUBLISHERS: Por favor, hire Latino editors. We need equality and diversity in publishing.

READERS: Please buy Latino books (most of us write contemporary Latino-American stories set in the U.S.).

LATINO WRITERS: I understand the painful struggle. Many of us don’t have the money to pay editors, but do your best and give your work to at least ten avid readers for critiques. Revise 3,000 times if you must! Never give up! Talk about the issue of inequality in publishing on your blogs. Tweet about our challenges. Make change happen.

AGENTS: please open your doors to Latino authors.

The U.S. is comprised of different cultures. Shouldn’t kids, teens and adults read diversity in books?

Regardless of the sate of our economy, and even though mula comes first, there must be some publishers, editors and agents interested in diversity. If you are one of them, please RAISE your HAND!

Diversity rules!


http://thenakedhero.com/guest-marcela-la...

http://blogs.publishersweekly.com/blogs/...

Gay Americanas have a hard time finding community in Miami. We have a different type of “community” due to ingrained homophobia thus why in 2009 we had our very first gay pride parade (Wahoooo!)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=klv71UKHY...

Most Caribbean-born Latina women attracted to other women don't relate to being called "queer," "lesbian" or "tortillera," words created by a past political gay movement to help us form community (Chicanas seem to be different). These women have built a Latina subculture represented by strong Latina friendship bonds. They text, tweet, meet at parties, movies, theatres, the beach, Unity Church, political events, softball games, motorcycle cliques, restaurants, friends’ houses, concerts, art festivals, gay clubs, Facebook and so on.

Since most non-political Miami Latinas loathe being branded or labeled, they try to blend in with straight folks by looking and acting het (long hair, makeup and jewelry). If you don't form part of the Latina posse/clique you might never know that a restaurant is filled to the max with lesbians. Although there aren’t exclusive gay restaurants in Miami, there are dozens of gay friendly restaurants where LGBT’s meet on a regular basis. Unfortunately, you probably need to be Latina/o or connected to the Latina/o gay culture to fully experience our “community.”

Latino effeminate gay males have always been more open about their sexuality and have been praised as “fabulous” or “elegant” with “impeccable taste” because they’ve had great role models in authors, actors, designers, etc. In the past, Latina lesbians were viewed as an ugly, strange breed of granola crunching, flannel-wearing creatures who acted like men or perverts who had sex with each other for men’s pleasures (these were the only types of “out” lesbians thus why folks thought we were all alike). But that’s changed due to a new generation of completely open-minded kids and teens, media exposure and excellent LGBT books and film. (Back in the dark ages, my Cuban culture found lesbianism abhorrent or fun and games for straight men’s pleasures and shockingly, some still do!).

Even in these times, Latina conservative lesbians aren’t as open as gay Latino men until older in life. It's hard to believe that some conservative, religious people still feel women’s core is supposed to be deeply rooted in motherhood and we need to be seen as the decent, loving, bearers of life, not women who have sex with other women (they don’t see the love part) without procreation. Unfortunately, a lot of the misconceptions and hatred towards gays began with biblical passages. I think the bible needs to be revisited by those who follow it verbatim because Jesus was about love, not H8.

The more Latina lesbians and bi's come out (just as gay and bi men do) and Latina authors depict lesbians as “mainstream” and as “normal” as heterosexuals with exact universal feelings and experiences, the more the last bits of the decaying ancient attitudes will be destroyed and be replaced by acceptance.

Up until recently, 95% of Latina/o LGBT’s had been closeted and have married the opposite sex. In the past, being open about our sexuality and labeling ourselves worked to help other Latinos come out as doctors, lawyers, actors, musicians, authors and so on. Spain has gay marriage, but older lesbians still aren’t coming out in troves (gay guys are). Ricky Martin just came out after living a lie all his life–millions of girls were in lust with him and he was a major homo! Although things have drastically changed, it’s still common for Latino and black folks attracted to the same sex to deny their preference and have long-term relationships with the opposite sex.

I wrote Down to the Bone over ten years ago when no one had heard of the terms LGBTQ or trannyboi and received a contract in 2004 (published 2008). Even in these times, I still get emails from Latina teens terrified of coming out. Although I’ve received dozens of emails from gay male teens, not a single one has been closeted. What does that say about Latina girls who love girls in 2010, when everyone thinks the world accepts everyone and being closeted is a thing of the past?

Note: My book, Down to the Bone, is being taught along with Octavia Butler and Chimamanda Adichie by a professor at U of M. Her students asked me dozens of questions about my book and two of those questions concerned the lack of Miami's gay “community.” I loved being part of this project and it made me think hard about what I mentioned above.


Tidbits:

There are seven billion people in the world and I imagine that if we weren’t tied to ancient beliefs, customs, and religions, there would be seven billion ways to define our sexuality.

http://articles.latimes.com/2009/jan/28/...

http://www.boingboing.net/2010/03/11/les...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RMztNhJmC...

Get ready for a Fabulous New Year.

There’s nothing more thrilling than bringing in the new year with fine sprinkles of toxic dust comprised of heavy metals and hazardous chemicals gently falling over children, animals, lakes, rivers, oceans, YOU, the elderly and ill. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/natur...

You can choose your Poison and make fireworks at home that shimmer, sparkle and explode with your little brothers and sisters. Watch and take pictures as they play with the dust (it’s legal!). http://chemistry.about.com/od/fireworksp...

If you dread messes and prefer buying pyrotechnics, please know that extra cheap, spectacular fireworks are imported from China. You just KNOW they’d never use prohibited, extra toxic yummy chemicals on children’s toys and explosives. Trust the quality of your air to China!

July 4 and December 31 is all about a delicious concoction of smoke, fumes, ozone, sulfur dioxide, nitric oxide, toxic gasses, etc. I can’t wait to watch the illuminated night sky in spectacular fashion with rockets’ Toxic red glare…

Even though crazed environmentalists state dozens of alternatives, there's nothing as lively and memorable as planet pollution. http://www.backcountryattitude.com/toxic...

I bet you can't wait to watch the aerosol clouds.

Tomorrow, you'll begin the year with a gorgeous toxic fog surrounding your neighborhood(exquisite combustible clouds should thrill you). Play outdoors with your children, especially if you and they have allergies, asthma, migraines, compromised immunities or MCS (multiple chemical sensitivities). This will energize the immune system and help lungs expand when needing to breathe deeper in order to catch a breath.

There's nothing like a spectacular night sky to bring in the new year!

All seriousness aside. Here's wishing everyone a Novel, Unusual, Extraordinary and Healthy New year!

NOTE: If you are LAME and BORING check out alternatives: http://www.backcountryattitude.com/toxic... Alternatives

Oh... and if you're wondering why hundreds of birds are falling from the sky, check this out: http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2011/jan...

On a thunderous night at a thrift store, a girl about my age (seven at the time) kicked my shin when I asked her, “Is your name Maggie?”--I thought I had recognized her and was trying to be friendly.

My eyes watered as I stood like a rooted palm, gulping down pain, trying to smile as if nothing had happened.

She beckoned me with a wagging index finger to get closer, but I wouldn’t. She neared me. “My name isn’t Maggie,” she said in a harsh whisper. “It’s Natasha.”

At the time, I had a knack for speaking backwards with friends and realized that the first part of her name, NATAS, spelled backwards was SATAN. The second half spelled backwards: HA.

My voice cracked, “Pleased to meet you.” My dad had taught me to be courteous at all times.

When I didn’t become upset, Satan-Ha http://www.skepdic.com/satan.html placed her hands on her hips and dug holes into my eyes. “You’re stupid, fat and ugly.”

My stomach twisted. Even though I was tiny, cute and thin, her anger was so fierce that her words stung. I hung my head low and tried to back away.

She followed. “Hey. Where do you think you’re going?”

“I’ve got to find my dad.”

“Are you scared of me?”

My voice quivered, “N…no.” I took a baby step back.

“If you’re not scared, then you’re retarded. Are you a retard? You look retarded. I bet you’re retarded.”

I took small steps backwards as I turned the gadget isle. My mom and dad seemed to have disappeared. We had recently come from Cuba and my beloved father had found a job at a gas station. He needed a few pairs of inexpensive pants, tube sox and light shirts with ¾ sleeves. We couldn’t afford to shop at fancy stores and I was sure they hadn’t scurried next door without me, to Bargain Beast, for expensive clothes.

I kept walking backwards, but getting away from the Devil wasn't easy.

“My mom is rich,” Satan-Ha said. “We never come here. This place is for poor people. It’s for bimbos and dumbos like you and your family.”

I had to invent something radical to veer her thoughts from me. “Do you want to play a game?”

She stopped cold and I stayed put. Her eyes widened. “What game?”

“The Sniff Game. You close your eyes. I pick something from the shelf and have you smell it. If you guess, you get one point. Whoever gets five points first, wins.”

“What kind of a stupid game is that? Who plays for points? I play for money.”

"I don't have money on me." My eyeballs scanned the store for my parents. My mom was way in the back, gesticulating to my dad in her usual, exaggerated way. I could make a run for it but didn’t want to seem chicken. And besides, seeing my parents made me feel empowered.

“That’s because your dad’s middle name is Broke.” She let out a shreiky, evil laugh. “What’s your name, retard?”

“Vampira.” I squinted and put on my most serious face as I visualized pointy fangs sprouting out of my mouth. I really wanted to scare her.

Silence.

I grabbed a box of band aids from the shelf. “Smell.” I opened the lid. “That’s what my grandparents use to cover fang marks after they feed on mean people.” http://www.skepdic.com/vampires.html

A mom carrying a kid in a basket strolled by. The boy waved his hands uncontrollably while sticking out his tongue at us.

“Not so.” The Devil grunted with her nose up in the air.

“So,” I swore with my back straight and head up.

The air traffic controller kid turned the corner and disappeared. A thick woman’s voice yelled, “Natasha, get over here now or you’re in big trouble!”

Satan-Ha took off faster than a hummingbird.

As I walked to my parents, I saw the Devil's mom in flip flops, raggedy shorts and disheveled hair. Some of her front teeth were broken. She was pulling a large boy with Down syndrome in a wheelchair. My heart dropped. I could not believe that a poor kid with a special brother would use such cruel words.

I saw the Devil on and off, here and there, a few times but she never spoke to me again.

Years passed and I bumped into her at Books & Books. “Hey, Natasha. Remember me? Vampira.”

She stuttered. “I… I… was just a kid, you know? Kids were bullying me at school and calling my brother retarded.”

I told her I’d forgotten all about it. “No worries.”

She portrayed herself as a high school teacher who loved to read. I had heard through the kiwi fruit vine that she had prostituted a few years and I wasn't sure if she was spewing lies about her new life. My heart went out to her, though. Satan-Ha had obviously had a difficult life.

I struck up a conversation about teen literature and how difficult it must be to get boys in her class to read. “Teen males enjoy reading G books: Girls, Guns, Graveyard, Gruesomeness and Gross Humor. Later on in life, they might enjoy literature about Women, Wine and Wit.” If she really knew anything about literature, and teaching teens, she’d know how to respond.

She plucked a few thrillers from the shelf. “Boys like blood, cadavers, the grotesque, murders, assassinations and killing rampages. These are the books I have them read, otherwise they get bored.”

Although her statement was true (only 2 percent of boys read unless it's gruesome or gross humor), something about the way she expressed herself disturbed me and brought me back to when she kicked me.

I expressed being in a hurry. “I came to get books on Sacred Babylonian Harlots. You should read about them. Fascinating.” I simply wanted to let her know that I knew about her and I would not be mean about it.

I waved goodbye and never saw Satan-Ha again. Have you?

Last night in support of Sandra Bullock I watched and loved The Proposal (well-written, creatively acted, involving editors/publishers and hilarious scenes): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDdXN1B1k...

Lo and behold, the Latinos in the film are either POOR IMMIGRANTS or RAMON, a chunky, lecherous, older-than-usual exotic dancer. Ramon speaks with a thick Spanish accent and is lusted after, or made fun of, by Alaskan women.

When will the media get that they are continuing to spread stereotypes that damage us?

How many of you have Latina/o friends? Are they all strippers, handymen or maids?--well... in all fairness, some of us are all of the above, just as much as you and yours might be. In this beautiful country we have the freedom to work at whatever we wish as long as it's legal and we don't hurt anyone. That's not to say that if you only focus on our stereotypes, Latinos will never have the same opportunity to prosper, especially in the publishing world where we're wrongly titled: "ethnic minorities."

Speaking of Latinos... I have never known a Latina named “Chica” (I’ve met a mutt with that name, though). Have you? Regardless of the name (akin to CHICK in English),check out and learn to make a beautiful Kindle book case from Chica and JO (very cute): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RmrDYMT5Z...

In colloquial Cuban, the term, “Oye, Chica” is used a great deal and translates to, “Hey, girl!” or, “Hey You!” Chica is also slang for “small girl.” Chiquitica, a term of endearment, forms part of our dialect and means, “little girl.”

“Oye, Chica, or Oye, Chiquita,” pronounced with a serious tone is vulgar and can be used as a derogatory term to mean something like, “Hey, jerk.”

A few months ago I was reading literary blogs and came across a writer searching for fellow writers to read and critique her manuscript in exchange for the same. I almost fainted when I read the adorable, yet offensive/clichéd name she’d given her main Latina character (can’t say it here or I’ll give out the author’s name). The synopsis sounded exciting and a book I’d read, but unfortunately, when well-meaning writers, editors, or agents don’t have Latino/a friends, haven't read our books or lived our culture, it’s hard to get it right.

I wish editors/publishers would also publish authentic YA and MG Latino writers for three reasons:

1) Equality

2) In order to finally halt the spread of damaging stereotypes.

3) Our Latino-Americano kids are in desperate need of reading their own stories.

BTW: I LOVED Ramon stripping in The Proposal. He is SO GAY! http://64.15.120.233/watch?v=LszpHvw_0oE But honestly, why couldn't Bullock's love interest have been a wealthy, well-respected Latino editor?

360—
CONGRATS RICKY MARTIN for coming out! Wooh hooo! Believe me, it's HUGE for a Latino to come out since we are still mostly closeted. http://www.mercurynews.com/breaking-news...

In Boston I cut the hair of a 23 year-old bookish Harvard grad with twenty-seven polydactyl cats. On that dark chilly morning she invited me to her Sunday book club potlucks.

Yesterday, I received an email from her and remembered how I stepped into her house with a big pot of frijoles negros under one arm and my Senegalese Djimbe drum in the other. She walked me through a living room decorated with black velvet curtains, couches and arm chairs. Thumping rock music played in the background while she introduced me to folks sipping mojitos —I skipped the alcohol. On the way outdoors, I noticed walls adorned with Hemingway photographs and pictures of his infamous six-toed cats and wondered why she was so enamored of the author.

Outside, we sat on logs and huddled in a circle by a small fire pit.

I sat among two disheveled lit geeks (a guy and a girl), a Republican Nazi with a long beard (no one knew he was Nazi until he spoke of his passion for Hitler and was thrown out of the house), a punk rocker poet/English-teacher-to-be with a Mohawk and tattoos, a preppy female Art History student, an attractive crossed-eyed female English Lit student, an ultra conservative-looking guy with the heart of a hippie who read one historical novel per day, and a gorgeous Jewish girl with fiery long curls and freckles attending BU of which she lovingly called: “Be Jew.”

I was the only Latina and felt a bit insecure and jittery about flexing my intellectual muscles within a group of literary geniuses. I sensed that because of lovely media stereotypes, and lack of authentic Latinos in YA lit, they might have considered me intellectually inept/inferior. Also, regardless of how much I adored literature, my having been a hairstylist/drummer/dancer might have added to the Latina stereotype. I had to give it my all so I could represent and be respected.

That week I read The Sun Also Rises twice, memorized lines verbatim and equipped myself with Hemmingway quotes and anecdotes. The book discussion was engaging and lively and to my surprise I didn’t feel insecure about speaking with what they considered, “a slight Spanish accent.”

During the discussion I threw in facts about Hemmingway, such as that in Cuba he invited a bunch of boys to play ball every day with his son (Hemingway was the pitcher). One of the kids, René Villarreal, grew up and became his (and his wife’s) houseboy and butler at seventeen until age 32. Although I was born a rebel, and am more interested in asking questions than finding answers or believing in a set truth, I didn’t mean to insinuate that Hemingway was gay when I asked, “Could having fallen in love with René, the man (or any other man), and his inability to express his desire, or do anything about it, have led Hemmingway to commit suicide?”

The group's passion for Hemingway’s writing was that of enthusiasts and scholars of his work. They believed Hemmingway was a macho man who attempted suicide after receiving ECT treatments which made him lose bits of his memory and hence ability to write as well as he used to. I knew about ECT because a great deal of ancient LGBT's endured them. The treatments are SUPPOSED to help with depression, mania, guilt and compulsive thoughts and behaviors that can’t be stopped thus the main reasons gays were subjected to it.

Ending your life with a shotgun blast to the head is an extreme act of violence towards self and it seems to reek of self loathing behavior.

It seemed that scholarly and medical opinion had never been attentive to the view that Hemmingway might have lived a guilt-ridden life because he was a repressed and oppressed homo. I might be 100 percent wrong, but back in the day when I read his books and researched him, I couldn’t help but wonder if he was a suffering closeted gay.

Hemmingway once said, “All things truly wicked start from innocence.” He stated, “About morals, I know only that what is moral is what you feel good after and what is immoral is what you feel bad after” and “Decadence is a difficult word to use since it has become little more than a term of abuse applied by critics to anything they do not yet understand or which seems to differ from their moral concepts.”

In all fairness to Hemingway, I think his suicidal tendency (to put it mildly) was also genetic since his father, siblings, and granddaughter committed suicide too.

In order to prove that Hemmingway was a straight man, the group discussed an affair he’d allegedly had with the married Jane Manson. That cracked me up. I’m always amazed how quickly het folks dismiss someone’s homoness simply because they had an affair with a person of the opposite sex. I asked if they’d never heard of the rumors about Papa and F. Scott Fitzgerald. (Fitzgerald’s wife said her husband and Hemmingway behaved like “lovers.”)

In A Moveable Feast, Hemmingway has a conversation with Gertrude Stein about homosexuality. He seems to accept lesbians but not gay men. Gertrude let him know, “You know nothing about this, Hemingway. You’ve met known criminals and sick people and vicious people. The main thing is that the act male homosexuals commit is ugly and repugnant and afterwards they are disgusted with themselves. They drink and take drugs, to palliate this, but they are disgusted with the act and they are always changing partners and cannot be really happy."

Honestly, I think SHE knew nothing about male homosexuality.

Hemingway was obsessed with masculinity and had male gay characters in some of his work, such as:

The Mother of the Queen (about a homo bullfighter).

Across the River and into the Times (has a male homo artist).

I went on to speak about Hemingway's love for Havana’s Barrio Chino (Cuba's Chinatown) and explained how Cuba sold Hemingway to tourists as part of Cuba’s ’50’s image even though they reject the Corporate Capitalist era. http://www.hemingwaysociety.org/justice/ Everything Hemmingway in Cuba has been franchised. I never thought I could become so inspired by Hemingway, but having been surrounded by his fans made all the difference.

Gregory Hemingway, the author’s s transsexual son, a former doctor who went by Gloria Hemingway after a sex change operation, died in jail at 69. He seemed drunk and “charged with indecent exposure and resisting arrest without violence after a park ranger reported a pedestrian with no clothes on” (the officer said she was shoeless and had a dress and heels in her hands).
http://ai.eecs.umich.edu/people/conway/T...

These days, the Hemmingway's wouldn't be in turmoil for being LGBTQ. Lady Gaga is rumored to be a hermaphrodite and no one gives a flying porcupine: http://www.thehollywoodgossip.com/2009/0...

If you’re the type of traveler that plans a trip around visiting old authors’ homes, be sure to make a stop at Hemingway’s Key West Home, also known as the “gay capital” of Florida. (I’m just saying…).

Tidbit:
At 28, Hemingway wrote, MEN WITHOUT WOMEN

SATIRE using Latino cliches:

I’m sure it’s every literary person's fantasy to awaken next to a voluptuous Latina. For valor, you grab Beowulf, the Old English heroic epic poem you were reading before falling asleep, and quickly flip to the page you left off: http://www.lone-star.net/literature/beow...

Your eyes veer over to the seductress you just met...

For some reason she's in your room and suddenly, you remember spooning her last night.

She slips on a spandex mini-dress decorated with mandarin orange ruffled sleeves. With a flick of a finger, she turns on the CD player and sensual music fills the room. Her hips jiggle, feet shuffle, shoulders shake and bootay bounces as she cakes on neon glitter eye shadow.

Your Ping Pong eyes bounce from her stiletto heels clickety clacking towards you, to her EXTRA LARGE…

gold hoop earrings and fruit-filled sombrero.

In a Spanish accent, and sultry, dripping-in-caramel-voice, she whispers into your hair, “I’m going to serve you breakfast in bed, Papi (or Mami). I’m saving the ripe banana for desert, before I set off to teach Borges at the university. Afterwards, I'm giving a lecture on deconstructionism and why 'the interpretive movement in literary theory rejects absolute interpretations and stresses ambiguities and contradictions in literature.' Later on tonight, I'm flying to Venezuela to save female authors from oblivion..." http://www.laht.com/article.asp?Category...

You wag your head in disgust and wish she'd STOP the literary nonsense and either peel your banana or sing to you, "I'm Chiquita Banana and I've come to say/I eat the Banana in a special way...." http://www.oldtimeradiofans.com/old_radi...

Now, let me show you why some Latinos and people of color would love the opportunity to write our own books: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SC7v0GChf...

What it looks like when authentic Latinos and people of color write our own stories:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z4e7VcnWC... (check out the footwork/moves of the guy in the chartreuse shirt and white pants).

Oops, gotta go! It's time to shake my maracas and whip out an exquisite breakfast in bed for my special mujer!

Tidbits:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLTUC7ei2... (brilliant, artistic manipulation of how advertisers make Americanos think we look like and behave in the kitchen. Do you blame me for loving it and wanting to RUN to buy Tostitos and salsa or perform a little cha-cha-cha of my own in the kitchen?).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFDOI24RR...

http://www.wikihow.com/Peel-a-Banana

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8uKACma0j...

http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http...