S.A. McAuley




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S.A. McAuley

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February 2012


About this author

Sam sleeps little, reads a lot. Happiest in a foreign country. Twitchy when not mentally in motion.


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S.A. McAuley It’s a much more complicated answer than I want it to be. More personal than I’m used to making public. I spent the morning after I saw your question…moreIt’s a much more complicated answer than I want it to be. More personal than I’m used to making public. I spent the morning after I saw your question deciding how I was going to answer and realized I was going to have to cross over one of the lines I’ve drawn in my writing career.

See, here’s the thing. I’m a very private person. But your question is completely valid and a good one. It just becomes impossible for me to answer without me either A) sounding like a standoffish dick, or B) letting all of you into a piece of my private life. I really try not to be a dick when I can, so after cleaning the house and contemplating how I was going to answer this, I decided B was the only option.

Falling, One by One (the 4th book in the Borders War series) stands at just above 20k words as of this exact second. It’s fully outlined and fleshed out. I just have to finish writing it.

And the reason I haven’t completed it is because of heart and blood pressure issues that’ve been dogging me for the last eight months. I have resistant hypertension and tachycardia. Both of which measure at urgent levels. My cardiologist and I have been actively working on this since I went from just normal hypertension (controlled by one medicine at a low dose) to a state of high blood pressure that runs at crisis levels some days (and wasn’t controlled by three medications at their highest doses).

Unfortunately, the only way to address such a complicated problem is through testing and medicine changes. One of the medicines I’ve relied on daily causes serious memory issues and brain fog. But for a time it was part of a cocktail that kept my BP in better check. So I had no other choice but to take it or face the consequences of greatly increased heart attack or stroke risk at the age of 35.

I refused to finish the fourth book when I couldn’t give my all to it. Merq and Armise’s story is much too important to me. So I shelved it, knowing I was keeping readers like you waiting way too long, but not quite comfortable talking about what I was dealing with.

Maybe that wasn’t the right choice. I can’t say quite yet.

Here I am now, though. Part of the reason I am here answering this question at all is because we’ve finally found a combination of medications that is controlling my blood pressure. It’s only been three days of “normal” measurements, but that’s a longer span than I’ve gone in almost a year. That, in and of itself, is an amazing development. That I’m no longer taking the medication that fucked up my memory is another huge development.

I have words flitting through my brain again. I can hear Merq talking to me and he’s ready to spill it all. So I’ve decided to take the holidays to rest, hoping that this medicinal truce in my veins holds.

Come January—if Merq allows me to wait that long—Falling, One by One will be my only priority.

Long fucking answer, right? And probably not very fulfilling. The only thing I can promise is that I’ll work my fingers off to make this (inexcusable) wait for the fourth book worth it in the end. I owe that much to Merq and Armise, and most importantly, to you. xx(less)
S.A. McAuley The beginning of the character James Deacon of Damaged Package was an NSFW picture and a song sent to me by a friend over two years ago. The man in…moreThe beginning of the character James Deacon of Damaged Package was an NSFW picture and a song sent to me by a friend over two years ago. The man in the pic is ripped, hot and looks like he would be crazy fun. Enter the quirky badass ex-SWAT officer Deacon.

(I'll be revealing that pic and the playlist on blogs in the coming weeks, so stay tuned!)(less)
Average rating: 4.07 · 1,683 ratings · 530 reviews · 18 distinct works · Similar authors
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More books by S.A. McAuley…

Book Name: An UncommonWhore 3: Prince of Faith Goodreads Link Author Name: Belinda McBride Author Bio: Belinda is an award-winning, top selling author of erotic romance, speculative fiction and LGBTQ romance. She lives in far Northern California with her family and a pack of Siberian Huskies. A graduate of CSU Chico, she managed […]


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" Thank you for reading Damaged Package, Feliz! I'll be on a few different blogs this week talking about the real world Detroit inspirations for Deacon, ...more"
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S.A. McAuley and 19 other people liked N.R. Walker's blog post: Red Dirt Heart 2 cover reveal
"72,000 words later, and Red Dirt Heart 2 is done!!   Charlie and Travis’ latest story is with my pre-readers before I send it to my editor, so I guess now I can share the gorgeous cover!! The incredibly talented and lovely Sara York made it, and I..." Read more of this blog post »
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More of S.A.'s books…
This lake is alive. Kicking. Breathing. Frothing. I envision it's as angry as I am. As resolved to its fate as I've become. But the only thing this lake has conceded is that to fight is to lose, so it rolls with the brutal slip of seasons. There is no whisper of argument from the waves. They take this beating and crest forward, down, on top of themselves. Over and over again. With a strength I try to breathe in. To believe in.
S.A. McAuley, This is What a Cold Lake Looks Like

Your lingering presence erodes me. Heartbeat by heartbeat. Cell by aging cell. Washing away any sense of self I ever had. Intruding into a nothingness I've struggled to find the pieces to fill. A jar filled with stones, piled with pebbles, topped with sand, only to be left with the knowledge that water, with enough time and persistence, has the power to wash it all away.
Your name is on my lips. Frozen. A familiar cadence of syllables that once soothed me.
A name I can't speak. Can't think of.
Not on this shore, at our lake. Not on this day. When only a year ago, with a foreshadowing that is now ice in my veins, you stood next to me, in this jacket, your hand in mine, so warm, and stared out at this expanse and whispered in awe, "This is what a cold lake looks like.

S.A. McAuley, This is What a Cold Lake Looks Like

“Fuck my country and yours, they will continue fighting whether we live or die. But I can't, and won't, go on without you. Not anymore.”
S.A. McAuley, One Breath One Bullet

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“You want to know what it feels like to be castrated? Try having your nine-year-old brother protect you from your ex-girlfriend after you've told her you're in love with a man.”
T.J. Klune, Bear, Otter, and the Kid

“Seven smirked as he walked back over to me. "I gave you catharsis last night. Twice.”
T.J. Klune, Burn

“For he would be thinking of love
Till the stars had run away
And the shadows eaten the moon.”
W.B. Yeats, Selected Poems and Four Plays

“It’s not about managing, it’s about taste. Your sandwiches taste
better.”
Ty started cracking up. “Oh my fucking God, are you spoiled. It’s
about throwing some meat, cheese, and mayo between two pieces of
bread. The taste doesn’t change whether it’s me or you slapping it
together.”
S.J.D. Peterson, Ty's Obsession

“Creativity needs time. We’re all dying. Fuck stagnation. High-five creation.”
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Lavinia Lewis Hi S.A, thanks for accepting my friends' request!


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