Tamara Larson's Blog

Back into the Sex Dungeon

When I started writing books under my alternate pen name (Verena Vincent) my plan was to experiment with alternate genres, like paranormal and erotic romance, rather than write exclusively for the contemporary romance niche I've fallen into. I didn't want to alienate readers who enjoyed the more main-stream Tamara Larson books. Looking back, I'm not sure why I bothered doing this, but at the time it made sense. I also didn't really want my family to know I wrote anything "silly" like paranormal, or "dirty" like erotica. Well, I'm older now and with age comes clarity and I don't particularly care what people think anymore. I write for myself and for those few readers who actually enjoy what I'm putting out into the world. Plus, the people who's opinion mattered the most to me (my parents) are gone, so I don't have to worry about embarrassing them.

So, after finishing my 4th Kingston Brothers book (Mr. Fixer-upper) in December, I knew it was time to go back and finally finish Alex and Dani's story. It's been haunting me for the last decade. I'd been halfway through writing "The Vampire's Last Virgin" back in 2012 when I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. I wrapped it up without a HEA the night before I had my bilateral mastectomy and released it because I wasn't sure when I would get back to writing. It's been a very long road, but I'm definitely getting my groove back now and "The Vampire's Former Virgin" Part Two of The Vampire's Last Love series is coming along very nicely and will be released in May.

I can't wait. I feel like I kind of disappointed my few readers with this one because it didn't provide the HEA that is so intrinsic to the Romance Genre. Let's face it, we are attracted to these stories because of the hot guys, but we also know what to expect and I feel contractually obligated to provide those positive feelings whenever possible. Lord knows, with so many unpredictable factors happening in the world (pandemics, floods, avalanches, heat waves, and wildfires in my area alone) we need whatever joy we can find between the pages of a book.

So, what was it like going back into the sex dungeon after a decade? Well, it's wonderful. I really enjoyed writing the original and I think it's easily my best work. The second part, however, will be significantly less erotic this time around, though there is a scene or two back in Radu's dungeon, which I loved. So tacky!

Dani and Alex are apart, at least physically, for a large part of the novella, so it's more plot-driven than "The Vampire's Last Virgin". These two characters were trapped together for most of VLV, which made it much easier to explore their attraction. For the sequel, the trick is to bring them back together in a way that makes sense without falling into the usual cliches. So, will she sacrifice her soul to be with Alex? Or will he be forced to deny his natural urges to be with her? I mean , how can a mortal and a vampire live Happily Ever After?

We'll see in May. Hopefully I can pull it off.

Getting all cool and modern now.

It took NINE tries to submit my manuscript for Mr. Fixer-upper to Smashwords. First, it was my Table of Contents, then it was my Headers, then it was a missing line on my Title Page. I've published 10 other books on Smashwords and have never had much trouble at all. This all happened over a two week period as I impatiently waited for my first book in five years to be made available. On my ninth try, I finally said "screw this" and made the switch to Draft2Digital.

Two days later it was available practically everywhere and I'm asking myself, "why did I wait so long?" Well, the answer to that is, I'm kinda old and don't like change, especially where technology is concerned. Also, I'm too lazy to look up all my tax info, etc. But the torture of dealing with Smashwords finally convinced me to switch, and now I'm really happy I did it, as I have access to the handy link below which makes it much easier for readers to find my book, and their system is much more user-friendly.

And even luckier, Smashwords and Draft2Digital are amalgamating next month, so all my books will be reunited under one publisher again, like one big, happy, unpopular family.

So, if you're an Author who is hesitating to make the switch, or you're worried about dealing with a new independent published, stop worrying. It's a breeze.

https://books2read.com/u/mgjoax

https://books2read.com/author/tamara-...

Mr. Fixer-upper has arrived.

I just -self-published my 11th book, "Mr. Fixer-upper". It's on Amazon now (see links below) and should be popping up in Smashwords distributors like Apple, B&N, & Kobo soon.

It's been a long time and I'm a bit scared, but hopefully readers will enjoy it. It's a romance but also has some thriller elements. I like to think of it as a reverse sunny/grumpy trope because in this case the hero, Jacob, is definitely the unsinkable one in their relationship. I love this guy. He's so funny. And sensitive. And wise, in a dumb sort of way.

There's lots of fun dialogue and a little bit of heat. The evil Karl Bauer from "Hot Property" returns to cause some trouble. And Jeremy, the last Kingston Brother, also makes an appearance.

I'm going to take a break for a while. I promise, not so long this time, but eventually Jeremy will get his book.

Enjoy!

Amazon.com
Amazon.ca
Amazon.com.au
Amazon.co.uk

Gone, gone, gone, she's been gone so long.

I keep meaning to come on here and explain my very long absence but it always comes out sounding self-indulgent and sad, so I'm just going to say that my mom, the best and most important person in my world, passed away unexpectedly in 2019. Caring for my ailing father followed until he passed almost exactly a year later. Since then I have been a bit adrift, but am finally starting to recover. Grief affects us all differently but mine seems to have manifested itself in the need to watch Netflix rather than finishing Kingston Brothers #4 which should have been completed years ago.

So, once again, I'm sorry to all of you who have been concerned or waiting to see what's happening with Jakob and the rest of the Kingston's.

I hope you are all staying safe and being kind to one another.

Thank-you again for all your patience.

Mr. Grey vs. Jamie Fraser

Many aspects of the romance genre appeal to me. In some ways I will always be that little girl in footy pjs with the well-read giant book of fairy tales on her nightstand. The only difference now is that the cover of that book on my nightstand usually features a well-muscled dude rather than a innocent girl traipsing through the woods while being pursued by the big, bad wolf or evil queen/stepmother/witch. And the content usually describes numerous risqué happy endings rather than just one.

What keeps me reading and writing in this genre, however, is the men. Partly because I find men of valour and integrity so hard to come by in real life, but also because I am such a sucker for a great hero. I'm endlessly trying to figure out what makes a memorable and sigh-worthy male lead in my own writing. There's a magical quality to certain fictional characters that inspires me to write better, more vivid and genuine citizens of my imaginary universe. I don't really know if I've created that titular hero yet, but I think I've come really close.

What I do recognize, however, is when I come across a fictional hero who makes me bitter and jealous of the writer who created him. Right now that is the young Scottish romantic lead in the Outlander series, Jamie Fraser. Oh my, can that man wield a sword!!

I know what you're thinking. Why now? I'm 26 years too late to be discovering the Outlander series and the irresistible Jamie. I wish I could say I was ignorant of the series and somehow missed it when it came out, but the truth is that I started the first book long ago and quickly lost interest. That's right. I didn't give it much of a chance and it seemed pretty dry to me at the time. Also, the description of Jamie seemed pretty low-key and not all that attractive at the time. (He didn't smell that great and red hair has never done it for me. )He was kind of a peripheral character in the few chapters I read. So I put it aside and started reading something with Fabio on the cover instead. No, I'm not proud of this.

Then the Outlander series popped up on Netflix and I decided to give it a half-hearted try, not expecting too much but willing to spend some time in that world at least until some new episodes of Stranger Things or Gotham arrived. Needless to say, I was blown away. Yes, I admit part of this was Sam Heughan's playful portrayal of Jamie. (What a smoking hot ginger, by the way!) But it was more than that. When I started reading the book back in the early 90's the writing style seemed rather stiff and the romance build-up was slow, almost non-existent. I never reached the wedding scene which came to life so vividly on screen. If I had, I'm pretty sure I would have read the whole series back then if only to try and re-capture the emotional chemistry between Jamie and Claire.

So, now, the decision must be made... who is the best fictional romantic hero? There can only be one in my eyes. For years, I loved Rhett Butler. Various other stud-muffins took the title over the years but the current leader of the pack is, of course, Mr. Christian Grey. I realize that the 50 Shades books have their problems, but he was compelling in so many ways. Broken but rich, capable but vulnerable, hot but scarred. Yes, it could be argued that he's abusive or a psychopathic but in the romance genre the hero is always capable of redemption. And E.L. James certainly created a man that woman love to imagine fixing, myself included.

Jamie, however, is a different story entirely. No fixing required. He has endured so much, even before he meets Claire. And yet he remains untouched by the darkness that surrounds him. He is a true man of valour, self-deprecating and even innocent, with a playfulness that reduces Mr. Grey to look like a self-absorbed, brooding child. I mean, seriously, Jamie withstood 200 lashes and didn't demand a red room of pain within the walls of Lollybroch. (Though he didn't seem to mind spanking Claire too much, now did he?)

So, based on this characteristic alone, I think Mr. Grey may have been de-throned in my eyes. What do you think? Mr. Grey or Jamie Fraser?

Missing in Action

Yes, it's been awhile. Wish I had a great excuse but I've just been out of writing mode lately. The lack of response to my last few books has thrown me for a loop, made me question why I do this exactly.

Don't get me wrong, I will never stop writing, however, there really isn't a sense of urgency anymore. The handful of people who actually read my work are wonderful but there are about a million other authors out there to fill the void left by my absence. So I've been taking a break. You see, for the last few years I have spent an inordinate amount of time at my computer and have very little to show for it. Life has been passing me by while I create worlds that very few people visit.

So, what have I been doing? Well, since I was a little girl, I've been obsessed with Greek Mythology. Loved all the drama and craziness those Greeks came up with to explain just about everything. I'd always wanted to see where all that craziness came to be. This past September I finally did it. My friend, Beth and I went to Greece. And while we were there, spent a few days in Venice, Rome and Florence as well. It was incredible. Loved every minute. If you've never been, I highly recommend the detour. In Italy it seemed like there was something amazing around every corner. A fountain, or a church, or a well-dressed Italian man with impeccable shoes. So much gorgeousness it was mind-boggling.

I expected to return to writing with renewed enthusiasm, inspired by the sights and experiences of Europe to finish Jacob's story (Mr. Fixer-upper) and start on something new. Unfortunately, I seem to be more blocked than ever so I regret to inform you that I really don't know when I'll be publishing again. I can't force it and the muse has left the building. At least for now.

I'm sorry. I wish I was better. 

Please don't forget me. I will be back. Thanks for all your support. Be happy. Be inspired. Be good. And healthy and strong.

Tamara

 

Why are you so freaky, Damien Wilde?

No doubt about it, I enjoy myself a bad, bad boy, in fantasyland anyway. Nothing sexier between the pages of a book than an alpha male with possessive tendencies and a domineering attitude. However, in reality, I'm pretty sure all that master/servant shit would NOT fly with most women, myself included. In fact, it would be pretty hard to keep a straight face if our husbands/boyfriends starting going all Christian Grey on us.

This was kind of the theme I ended up exploring in Mild Gone Wilde, (Now Available) my latest book. It started off being a fairly straight-forward rough sex erotica novella but turned into something quite different. The finished product is probably a lot more consistent with what might actually happen with a dominant if he took on an unsuitable novice submissive who struggles with being at the man's mercy even under the guise of sex-play.

The heroine, Rosalie, loves Damien Wilde, a man who embodies all things bad boy. He just so happens to be into rough sex. The problem? Well, she isn't. She spends most of the book trying to get into it because she recognizes that he has these dark needs and she wants to satisfy him on every level. But the reality is that she's NOT comfortable with his expectations and doesn't really understand his desires. As a result, she keeps falling out of character and undermining his attempts to dominate her.

Don't get me wrong, she finds it all very erotic. There's some sexy stuff here and these characters are sexually compatible despite their different tastes. But there's also this underlying subtext of her questioning why does he need it like this? Why am I not enough? Can't we just lighten up and enjoy each other without all the weird shit? And damn, why are you so freaky? 

So why not just write another book to glorify the BDSM lifestyle instead? Well, I tried and it felt pretty hollow to me. I can't fake it that hard. Entertaining readers is always at the forefront of writing, but the fact remains, I really don't like the message out there that women are natural submissives and if we aren't, well then, there's something wrong with us. Most of us, I think, are more like Rosalie, who struggles to find that balance between being true to herself and satisfying her partner.

 

 

Split Personality

Who is Verena Vincent?

Well, I'm not really sure anymore. Originally I invented her as my dark half. I could write all the weird, experimental, kinky stuff I wanted under her name without worrying about my grandma disowning me. Because I would keep my secret identity, well, a secret.

Fast forward three years and I realize that my dark side isn't really all that dark. Compared to some of the material out there, it's pretty darn beige. So what am I supposed to do with my secret identity now? 

My new book, Mild Gone Wilde, (out May 1st) was supposed to be pretty kinky so it was firmly in the Verena Vincent category. Then I received some feedback that I'd gone a bit too far with the whole rough sex thing. So I toned it down a little. And what I ended up with was a pretty typical Tamara Larson book, meaning some sexy times but nothing too extreme. Ok, there's definitely some spanking and biting and maybe a little questionable consent role-playing. But still, pretty tame. There's also a lot of humour and angst and all that other fun stuff.

So, then I asked myself, why release MGW under Ms. Vincent at all? Hardly anyone reads her stuff, so it seems rather counterproductive to give her credit for a book fully expecting it to fail under that name.

More importantly, I don't feel the content will offend anyone too deeply. I suppose it falls somewhere in the middle, between a mainstream romance and erotica. In the interest of actually selling a few copies I'm going to nudge this one away from my dark side and into the light. So, please look for Mild Gone Wilde under Tamara Larson rather than Verena Vincent on May 1st.

If I ever decide to write about horny tentacle monsters or threesomes with sasquatch, I will definitely bring Ms. Vincent out of retirement. Again.

 

 

 

Betraying The Big "A".

Well, it's finally happened, I'm cheating on Amazon. At least that's what it feels like. We've been happy together for the past four years, sharing good time and bad, but lately I've been feeling restless, like something is missing from our relationship... and well, the truth is that the big "A" isn't giving me what I need anymore, so they're forcing me to have my needs satisfied elsewhere.

Maybe it's me. Perhaps I've changed from that naïve writer who uploaded her first book in December 2011 and was just thrilled to have people reading her stuff for free. Now I want more. Specifically I really want to recapture that heady feeling I had when both of my books, Hot Property and Kayla's Cowboy Fantasy (Verena Vincent) were actually in the Top 100 Amazon Bestseller List at the same time. (Ok - the top FREE 100). Now my books are so far down on the Amazon charts, the 'free' promotion doesn't even make a blip in my sales. Yup, that's right. I can't even give my books away because the market is saturated with free titles. (Or my books suck...)

So, what's a girl to do? Give up writing entirely? Well, I admit I have slowed down a lot. It's frankly discouraging when you slave away on a book for months, only to have a few people read it. My lack of sales undermined my confidence in a big way last year, mostly due to the timing because my sales were great before I became sick. So, when my next couple of books flopped I began to wonder if chemo had robbed me of my writing ability. Is that possible? Maybe.

I can definitely tell you that writing was WAY easier pre-homicidal breast issues. Before I became ill I could effortlessly write several pages a day. Now I struggle to write a few paragraphs. No wonder it takes me so damn long to get a book out, right? Seriously, I wrote five books in 2012. Now I'm lucky if I write one. I didn't publish a single word in 2015. But 2016 will be different.

Getting back to my infidelity. So, I decided to make some changes in how I distributed my books and finally took the big step and didn't renew my KDP option with Amazon on a few of my books. Open House, Hot Property, The Vampire's Last Virgin & Kayla's Cowboy Fantasy are  now available on Kobo, Barnes and Noble, and iBooks as well as Amazon. 

What this means is that I no longer give Amazon exclusive rights to these titles. Sounds like a good plan, right? But it also means that I no longer have access to some of their exclusive programs like Free, Countdown and Prime. Unfortunately, these programs don't really seem to be making an impact on my sales anymore so I'm trying to branch out. It's scary but also exciting. I've tried this in the past with a few of my Verena Vincent books but they don't do very well. I'm hoping that will change as I shift more books out of KDP and into other retailers.

I wish I could have made it work with big "A". We had a great thing going for a long time and I'm so grateful for the time we spent together. I would have been content to go along as we were forever, but sadly, we grew apart. As a result, we'll now be exploring an open relationship.

Sneak Peak Epilogue - Mild Gone Wilde (Damien)

She fell asleep.

Right on top of me.

Despite everything I did to her tonight, somehow she still knows she’s safe in my arms. How does she know that exactly when I’ve done all these brutal things to her?

Despite the evidence to the contrary, it’s true: without fail, no matter how fucked up I am, I will always protect her. Even from myself.

But that doesn’t mean that I can ever let this happen again. Even if she begs.

Tonight she found out exactly what I’m all about and she didn’t go screaming into the night to escape my twisted soul. Instead she’d cuddled up on top of me like a stray kitten in a spot of sunshine.

That blew my mind. She has a way of doing that. Surprising me. Putting me off balance. Making me question myself and my world.

It should have been awkward, her sweet body so relaxed against mine. But it isn’t. Truth be told, holding her feels as natural to me as pouring a drink or fixing an engine. Like I’ve done it a thousand times and will likely do it a thousand more times in my life.

But I don’t sleep with anyone. Ever. The truth is I can’t sleep with another person around. Not even her. Especially her.

I’ll hold her for just a few minutes, just like she asked and then I’ll leave. Go back to my dark and silent cabin alone. Like always.

Tomorrow I’ll pretend I never touched her, never pulled her hair or felt her coming apart in my arms, never watched her ass glow red from my hands or felt her incredible mouth wrapped around my cock.

I will let her go.

Because she’s good and sweet and weird and funny. She deserves the best this fucked up world has to offer. And that isn’t me. All I bring to the table is pain.

Yeah. Tomorrow we’ll go back to being just friends. Nothing between us will change. I won’t let it. That doesn’t mean I’ll forget what it’s like to feel something. Alive like this.

One taste of her will have to be enough.

To experience peace and tenderness for the first time in my life only to let it go is a weird type of torture that I’m all too happy to experience.

But then pain is my thing, after all.

On Pre-Order Now:
http://www.amazon.com/Mild-Gone-Wilde...