Beth Harbison's Blog

So the girl's a total copycat. Meet Paige Harbison, the newest author for Harlequin Books, and look for her YA novel, HERE LIES BRIDGET, in trade paperback sometime in 2010 or 2011. See PaigeHarbison.com for more deets!

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After her 110th phone call to me today, when I began answering the phone by simply sighing, my daughter decided to keep a log of her thoughts, i.e. the things she would otherwise have called me to say. The subect heading was "The Conversation You Weren't Lucky Enough to Have" and this is what she wrote:

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So The Husband and I were in bed watching The Bold and the Beautiful (it's research!!) and there's a storyline where 60+ Jackie is devastated when her 20-something husband Owen goes on TV and tells the world that their marriage is a joke. She drinks a bottle of Dom, goes up to Whip's apartment upstairs (hi, Rick Hearst! you're on my List!) and - wait for it! - as she's sobbing and blowing bubbles out her nose, he kisses her. And she kisses him back. Sort of. It's awkward. Anyway, that's ...

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Champagne, snacks, hunky ex-NFL players, and drunk authors...what more could you want in an event?! Hopefully there will be another at Harrah's New Orleans next year and I hope to see some familiar faces there as well as some new ones!

NOLA

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...it would look a lot more like this.

David Beckham

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We were sitting outside of Redbone Alley, my favorite restaurant in South Carolina, waiting for our table. The heat was oppressive no matter where we waited but outside was marginally cooler than the vestibule.
The problem was the natural light.
I lifted my sunglasses and my husband squinted in my direction. "What are those red streaks under your eyebrows?"
I realized, all at once (the way you do when you remember you're in public and you're supposed to be self-conscious about something), that

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Come to Harrah's New Orleans casino for a "meet the author" event from noon to 2 p.m. for cocktails (it will be 5 p.m. in London), gambling, and a booksigning! See http://www.harrahsneworleans.com for more details. (Note: there will be a VIP event after that, so if you're an Harrah's VIP, see your inbox for details)

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This essay appears in AFTERBIRTH: Stories You Won't Read in Parents Magazine, edited by Dani Klein. My daughter Paige performed it at the Triad Theater in NYC in July 2008.

Paige and Jack

"I am completely serious, take the trash can off your head now."
.. ..
We were staying in an ornate suite in the New York Palace Hotel, which contained a glass-shelved bar and lots of fussy, fragile knick-knacks. My eight year old daughter had decided it would be fun to put a wastebasket on her head – a wastebask

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Apparently Marisa Metzger can't stand Kinsella, Wickham, Weiner, or Harbison...

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The immunity-boosting properties of Airborne end up meaningless if you don't wait long enough before you throw back a big glass of it and choke on what's left of the fizzy tablet.

It happened to me last night, except the dying part, and all I could think was that every guy I ever dumped would be gratified to hear the humiliating way in which I expired.

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