Wade Kelly's Blog
June 1, 2012
...and NO, I haven't read it.
I've been pondering the phenomenon that IS this book. I watched the video of Ellen Degenerous reading from it and thought it was hilarious! From her reading alone I MIGHT be temped. (Might.) Although I doubt my reaction would be as comical. A friend of mine has it and said, "You have to read this!" I replied, "SERIOUSLY?!?" I do not really see myself doing that. However, I CAN understand the need to keep up with current societal trends and KNOW what the populace is reading. So maybe.
But the point of this blog is my thoughts on the book itself and not the writing of it. This is not a review.
I was in Walmart yesterday buying toilet paper. (the #1 needed household item besides air) While walking passed the books and magazines (did I use that word correctly? passed/ past? I really never know)... I noticed the display of books by E.L. James. Nice covers. I thought they were well done. But the thought occurred to me that the content might be inappropriate for a setting where any ole child could walk up and read it. So I open the book randomly to page 117 and read, "'I'm going to f*** you now Miss Steele,' he murmurs as he positions the head of his erection at the entrance of my sex. 'Hard,' he whispers, and he slams into me."
Why do I quote this? Why do I care? Because this is Walmart, family central, and this type of material is ON THE SHELF!
I'm not balking about that. I'm irritated because they can put a sexually explicit book on their shelves because it is HETERO! Where are the LGBT romance novels? Some lgbt novels I've read don't even contain sex at all but they aren't present! WHY? Because it might corrupt the values of people? It might corrupt the youth of America? (I am conjecturing here, I DID NOT call Walmart to confirm.) So instead of putting ANY books on its shelves that might promote homosexual activity amongst that masses, we'd rather just promote SEX in general.
I GET the fact that 50 Shades is a Best Seller. Ok. But wasn't Hot Head by Damon Suede a HUGE hit? It has THOUSANDS of reviews on Goodreads.com! Why isn't Hot Head on the shelves of Walmart? Oh, yeah, because it's ... gay! *gasp* AND what about the famous Something Like Summer? This book is going to be a MOVIE for crying out loud!
I have to add that I HAVE seen LGBT books on the shelves of Barns and Noble (Are they still open? Or are they out of business?) But that shelf was VERY small! Maybe 100 different titles in a monstrous store of thousands of books! I even had to ASK where to find it because it as so small of a section it got lost.
Societal trends need to change! If I can find 50 Shades of Grey at my local Library and Walmart, I SHOULD be able to find the current top 10 best selling LGBT novels as well! How does this happen? Do we solicit Walmart? I guess so. How do I do that? I don't know. I guess I will have to look up Walmart corporate e-mail and come up with a petition-letter or something.
These are just some of my thoughts along the lines of INequality that goes on. It would be FINE is Walmart said it was because of "family" values. Whatever! I get that. I don't agree with hetero's being the only ones with "family" values but I see the point where reading material is concerned. But if it is over "family" values, then I DO NOT see that 50 shades of Grey is any more healthy for people to read than Hot Head. Hot Head was an awesome book! It was popular, well written, and covered relationships between friends on a very deep level. I think that is pretty "family" oriented! (Plus is had reference to 9/11 which makes it a good "American" novel!) If Hot Head, and Something Like Summer(and other books like them), can not represent the best selling LGBT fiction on the shelves of Walmart, then why does the explicit 50 Shades of Grey get 8 shelves worth?
SO NOT FAIR!!!
this is me ranting for now.
Wade
And notice how I didn't mention how When Love is Not Enough should be on the shelves!! ;p
I've been pondering the phenomenon that IS this book. I watched the video of Ellen Degenerous reading from it and thought it was hilarious! From her reading alone I MIGHT be temped. (Might.) Although I doubt my reaction would be as comical. A friend of mine has it and said, "You have to read this!" I replied, "SERIOUSLY?!?" I do not really see myself doing that. However, I CAN understand the need to keep up with current societal trends and KNOW what the populace is reading. So maybe.
But the point of this blog is my thoughts on the book itself and not the writing of it. This is not a review.
I was in Walmart yesterday buying toilet paper. (the #1 needed household item besides air) While walking passed the books and magazines (did I use that word correctly? passed/ past? I really never know)... I noticed the display of books by E.L. James. Nice covers. I thought they were well done. But the thought occurred to me that the content might be inappropriate for a setting where any ole child could walk up and read it. So I open the book randomly to page 117 and read, "'I'm going to f*** you now Miss Steele,' he murmurs as he positions the head of his erection at the entrance of my sex. 'Hard,' he whispers, and he slams into me."
Why do I quote this? Why do I care? Because this is Walmart, family central, and this type of material is ON THE SHELF!
I'm not balking about that. I'm irritated because they can put a sexually explicit book on their shelves because it is HETERO! Where are the LGBT romance novels? Some lgbt novels I've read don't even contain sex at all but they aren't present! WHY? Because it might corrupt the values of people? It might corrupt the youth of America? (I am conjecturing here, I DID NOT call Walmart to confirm.) So instead of putting ANY books on its shelves that might promote homosexual activity amongst that masses, we'd rather just promote SEX in general.
I GET the fact that 50 Shades is a Best Seller. Ok. But wasn't Hot Head by Damon Suede a HUGE hit? It has THOUSANDS of reviews on Goodreads.com! Why isn't Hot Head on the shelves of Walmart? Oh, yeah, because it's ... gay! *gasp* AND what about the famous Something Like Summer? This book is going to be a MOVIE for crying out loud!
I have to add that I HAVE seen LGBT books on the shelves of Barns and Noble (Are they still open? Or are they out of business?) But that shelf was VERY small! Maybe 100 different titles in a monstrous store of thousands of books! I even had to ASK where to find it because it as so small of a section it got lost.
Societal trends need to change! If I can find 50 Shades of Grey at my local Library and Walmart, I SHOULD be able to find the current top 10 best selling LGBT novels as well! How does this happen? Do we solicit Walmart? I guess so. How do I do that? I don't know. I guess I will have to look up Walmart corporate e-mail and come up with a petition-letter or something.
These are just some of my thoughts along the lines of INequality that goes on. It would be FINE is Walmart said it was because of "family" values. Whatever! I get that. I don't agree with hetero's being the only ones with "family" values but I see the point where reading material is concerned. But if it is over "family" values, then I DO NOT see that 50 shades of Grey is any more healthy for people to read than Hot Head. Hot Head was an awesome book! It was popular, well written, and covered relationships between friends on a very deep level. I think that is pretty "family" oriented! (Plus is had reference to 9/11 which makes it a good "American" novel!) If Hot Head, and Something Like Summer(and other books like them), can not represent the best selling LGBT fiction on the shelves of Walmart, then why does the explicit 50 Shades of Grey get 8 shelves worth?
SO NOT FAIR!!!
this is me ranting for now.
Wade
And notice how I didn't mention how When Love is Not Enough should be on the shelves!! ;p
May 28, 2012
Silence from me can normally mean two things, maybe three. I'm depressed, I'm reading, or I'm writing. In this case it is kind-of #3. I AM writing, albeit slowly, but most importantly I am THINKING about what I need to write. Sometimes that takes silence.
Of course, silence in the submission department can be good and bad. Bad because I HATE waiting, but good because I'm not rejected YET! LOL.
I am working on a new book. Not sure what "genre" this will be in. Not sure how it will shape up. But at least you all out there know what I am up to. I'm up to "something" just not sure what. My writing takes time, most of the time. WLINE and MRJWC both took about 2-3 months. TCOL was a n exception to that and took 9 to write and it's still not published!
I am a person with loads of stories in my head at the same time. Although I am currently writing the one with no known destination or genre to categorize it in, I am also contemplating another m/m contemporary romance. I have characters in mind. I can see them. I hear some voices which is a good thing. I have some plot sketched out. I may write that one as I write the other one. The "undetermined one" is more personal. I am trying to capture my life and trials in it. Although WLINE & TCOL do that in some sense, this new book is going to be more controversial and hopefully more mainstream. (Probably no sex in it.) I know having a "dream" of seeing you book on a shelf in Walmart seems like a hokey dream, but I'd seriously like that to happen eventually. I do NOT see Target carrying m/m romance anytime soon. They can carry Harliquin romances but not Dreamspinner! So unfair!!! So I am going to try and write something with a broader net. If it doesn't work, I can alter it (probably) into m/m romance, but I am going to give it my best shot!
See, I have this vision. I have passion over gay-rights. I have conviction over gay-marriage, I have a desire to change the world's view of homosexuals! The Blog Hop against Homophobia was cool! It helped me thing about way more aspects of this global problem than I had before, But I can't let my thoughts stop with a blog-hop. I want more! So I am writing a book. It's what I do. I'm an author.
I have a friend... "Dude" from another blog weeks ago. "Dude"/ "friend" has been such a terrific surprise in my life. He is also a writer and we share similar thoughts. I am enjoying our friendship and it is spurring me on to write deeper still! WLINE was deep, but I have more to give. "Dude" is helping me see that!
There is so much wrong in the world! I hate it. I hate no being myself 24/7. I want to just be me everywhere I go. But the world and it's fear and narrowmindedness suppress me, suppress you, suppress "Dude"!... We have a voice and it needs to be heard. Governments need to change. They aren't going to change if we stay silent. If the suppressed fear the judgement, and ridicule. We have to ban together and be brave. I admit, I am not. I hide behind a computer and write. But the more my books are read the closer I am to being outted anyway. It is only a matter of time before someone I know in my town reads WLINE (or this new one I'm writing) and says, "Hey! Didn't YOU write this?" Then It will be out there. I won't be able to change that and I will have outted myself, but at least it will not have been in vain. Some things NEED to be said and if it is a novel form with (potentially) millions of readers, I will not feel alone and isolated in my vision. I hope to find support. Gay-rights is only a simple way to phrase it. The deeper issue is bullying, and harassment and imprisonment and bashing, etc.... People need to be seen as people! We are all human and we have inalienable rights! Staying silent for fear of being the next victim is NOT golden, it's black as death. When I am the next one to be judged in my community, I hope to find "dude" and other people standing beside me in the fight for what is right!
that's all for now!
Wade
Of course, silence in the submission department can be good and bad. Bad because I HATE waiting, but good because I'm not rejected YET! LOL.
I am working on a new book. Not sure what "genre" this will be in. Not sure how it will shape up. But at least you all out there know what I am up to. I'm up to "something" just not sure what. My writing takes time, most of the time. WLINE and MRJWC both took about 2-3 months. TCOL was a n exception to that and took 9 to write and it's still not published!
I am a person with loads of stories in my head at the same time. Although I am currently writing the one with no known destination or genre to categorize it in, I am also contemplating another m/m contemporary romance. I have characters in mind. I can see them. I hear some voices which is a good thing. I have some plot sketched out. I may write that one as I write the other one. The "undetermined one" is more personal. I am trying to capture my life and trials in it. Although WLINE & TCOL do that in some sense, this new book is going to be more controversial and hopefully more mainstream. (Probably no sex in it.) I know having a "dream" of seeing you book on a shelf in Walmart seems like a hokey dream, but I'd seriously like that to happen eventually. I do NOT see Target carrying m/m romance anytime soon. They can carry Harliquin romances but not Dreamspinner! So unfair!!! So I am going to try and write something with a broader net. If it doesn't work, I can alter it (probably) into m/m romance, but I am going to give it my best shot!
See, I have this vision. I have passion over gay-rights. I have conviction over gay-marriage, I have a desire to change the world's view of homosexuals! The Blog Hop against Homophobia was cool! It helped me thing about way more aspects of this global problem than I had before, But I can't let my thoughts stop with a blog-hop. I want more! So I am writing a book. It's what I do. I'm an author.
I have a friend... "Dude" from another blog weeks ago. "Dude"/ "friend" has been such a terrific surprise in my life. He is also a writer and we share similar thoughts. I am enjoying our friendship and it is spurring me on to write deeper still! WLINE was deep, but I have more to give. "Dude" is helping me see that!
There is so much wrong in the world! I hate it. I hate no being myself 24/7. I want to just be me everywhere I go. But the world and it's fear and narrowmindedness suppress me, suppress you, suppress "Dude"!... We have a voice and it needs to be heard. Governments need to change. They aren't going to change if we stay silent. If the suppressed fear the judgement, and ridicule. We have to ban together and be brave. I admit, I am not. I hide behind a computer and write. But the more my books are read the closer I am to being outted anyway. It is only a matter of time before someone I know in my town reads WLINE (or this new one I'm writing) and says, "Hey! Didn't YOU write this?" Then It will be out there. I won't be able to change that and I will have outted myself, but at least it will not have been in vain. Some things NEED to be said and if it is a novel form with (potentially) millions of readers, I will not feel alone and isolated in my vision. I hope to find support. Gay-rights is only a simple way to phrase it. The deeper issue is bullying, and harassment and imprisonment and bashing, etc.... People need to be seen as people! We are all human and we have inalienable rights! Staying silent for fear of being the next victim is NOT golden, it's black as death. When I am the next one to be judged in my community, I hope to find "dude" and other people standing beside me in the fight for what is right!
that's all for now!
Wade
May 21, 2012
I am really pleased with the first "blog hop" I've participated in. There were over 250 people who posted blogs to raise awareness and wipeout homophobia. (I wrote about fear.) A special thanks needs to go out to all the people who stopped by and left comments. My goodreads post had 158 views which I believe is one of the highest I've received yet. I had 30 people leave comments! 30! That is really very cool.
Many of you had some wonderful things to say about my post and insightful observations which I am grateful for. Thank you.
As promised I picked a winner among those who commented. Two actually since people left comments on both my Blogspot blog and on goodreads.com They were picked at random.
Michele Montgomery & Kaje Harper
I am not sure if either of you have read When Love Is Not Enough so I will post this and you can comment to let me know. (Or if you already own it and didn't read it yet.) If you do I can offer you a copy of the very next book I publish.
I was very glad to hop around on different author's pages. I will admit, I did not visit ALL 250+. It takes time to read each one. I DID read very many and more than I left comments on. I found several to be educational in the fact that the author brought to mind somethings I'd never thought of before. So thank you.
Currently I am in a state of _____ something. Not sure of the word to use to describe it but I bet it matches the rain that is falling outside my window. I have loads of ideas in my head but I am very uncertain as to which idea to run with first. I am waiting for inspiration and the surge of desire to write to come on strong. I has done that before and I am confident the right words will come when they are ready.
For my small group of faithful fans, fear not. I'm good. Quiet, but good. I'm at a low point but the sun always shines eventually. And then I'll be back yammering about my next MS.
Until then, chin up!
Wade
Many of you had some wonderful things to say about my post and insightful observations which I am grateful for. Thank you.
As promised I picked a winner among those who commented. Two actually since people left comments on both my Blogspot blog and on goodreads.com They were picked at random.
Michele Montgomery & Kaje Harper
I am not sure if either of you have read When Love Is Not Enough so I will post this and you can comment to let me know. (Or if you already own it and didn't read it yet.) If you do I can offer you a copy of the very next book I publish.
I was very glad to hop around on different author's pages. I will admit, I did not visit ALL 250+. It takes time to read each one. I DID read very many and more than I left comments on. I found several to be educational in the fact that the author brought to mind somethings I'd never thought of before. So thank you.
Currently I am in a state of _____ something. Not sure of the word to use to describe it but I bet it matches the rain that is falling outside my window. I have loads of ideas in my head but I am very uncertain as to which idea to run with first. I am waiting for inspiration and the surge of desire to write to come on strong. I has done that before and I am confident the right words will come when they are ready.
For my small group of faithful fans, fear not. I'm good. Quiet, but good. I'm at a low point but the sun always shines eventually. And then I'll be back yammering about my next MS.
Until then, chin up!
Wade
May 17, 2012
I don't normally do a blog post on consecutive days but this is a special day. This is a day set aside as the "International Day Against Homophobia"according to homophobiaday.org Since I am against homophobia I decided to join the efforts made by some 262 plus people who also feel strongly led to end this.
Some years ago I took an "Anger Management" class due to some apparent issues my boss at the time thought I had. LOL I don't even remember what I did. Either it was blacked-out of my memory or it was so insignificant to me that it doesn't matter and therefore my brain dismissed it. Whatever the reason, the event is gone but the memory of taking the class still sticks with me. Why? Because I remember the teacher saying that anger is a secondary emotion. He said, "Anger never comes first. Anger," he explained, "is a byproduct of another emotion. Anger results from fear."
Fear is what I believe fuels the fires of so many wars.
Fear of the unknown keeps people trapped in their safe little sub-divisions. The world seems like a big scary place and huddling in one's own two-story colonial with its white picket fence and a dog in the back yard is comforting. We don't want to know about the wars oversees. We don't want to know about the killings in a neighboring city; we like safe, we cling to warm and fuzzy. But the problem is that the world is an ugly place. People are shot for a pair of shoes! So while homophobia is disturbing, it should not be surprising. Yet it is, because people choose to wear painted glasses that make the world out to be full of love. Wake up, people. The world is not over-flowing with chocolate fountains of love. It's full of hatred and FEAR!
When I was growing up, there were gunshots down the street. It wasn't a safe neighborhood, but I was okay. One day my brother (younger than myself) came home crying. Some kids shoved him off his bike WHILE HE WAS RIDING IT and stole it out from under him. Lucky for him, two other kids were playing basketball nearby and saw what happened. They knew my brother and came to his rescue. They ran after the guys who stole the bike and took it back for him. This was an act of kindness in retaliation to the act of violence. Why did they take it in the first place? I don't know. People always want what others have. Success, popularity, wealth, clothes, chickens, a published novel, you name it. I think they get angry and blame society for the fact that they don't have it-whatever IT is. But what is lurking under the surface of of covetousness? I propose it is FEAR. Perhaps the kids who stole my brother's bike feared never having one of their own, perhaps from poverty, and decided to act out of hatred and anger to get what they desired.
I am being philosophical to make a point. FEAR drives people to do any number of things. And I believe people are homophobic out of fear. They don't understand someone's attraction to the same sex and they see it as a disease. On Wikipedia it defines Homophobia as: "a range of negative attitudes and feelings towards homosexuality or people who are identified as or perceived as being LGBT. Definitions refer variably to antipathy, contempt, prejudice, aversion, and irrational fear." I like that last bit "irrational fear." What fears ARE rational? Fear of bees? Fear of heights? But fear of a homosexual is completely irrational in my book!
And WHY is that? WHY are people afraid of homosexuals? Aren't they people like everyone else?
A friend of mine at Kaleidoscope Trust told me about injustices in Nigeria where people are being jailed because they dared to text someone they cared about who happened to be the same gender. TEXTED!!! What the F*** people? Did we sink so low as a human race that we jail people for texting because they might possibly be gay? Oh my God!
So yeah, I think it all comes back to fear! People don't know how to handle their own misunderstanding and ignorance so they lash out in anger because they are afraid to admit they don't understand. Wouldn't it be easier to get to know someone you don't understand first? If I wanted to know about Ball Pythons I wouldn't run in fear when I saw them. I'd ASK an expert: "Hey, is that snake poisonous?" (To which the reply would be, "NO. And by the way the term is 'venomous'.") I think the same fear applies to tattoos and piercings but that is just an observation...
To squelch the FEAR in our nation and around the world we need to help people understand that homosexuality is not a choice, and it's not a disease. It's they way people are made. (And I believe God makes people but that is another discussion.) Homosexuals are people just like everyone else. He is short, she is smart, this guy has blue eyes, and that girl is gay. It is a trait of the person, why are you afraid of that? What is the solution? hahhahhaaa. (ROFL) Um, people are evil and do stupid things ALL THE TIME! I think the solution is LOVE but I also do not see that people act out on love as much as they like to talk about it. The Bible says, "perfect love casts out fear." But how do you love perfectly? Another "I don't know!"
I FEAR all the time! In fact I was thinking of writing a book on fear! I live it. I cower and I find it hard to just be MYSELF. It is because I am afraid of society. I am afraid of judgement. I am afraid of someone attacking that human part of me they THEY are afraid of. I don't have solutions. But I am trying to make a difference one person at a time. And as I read in DC Juris' blog this morning, "Because that's how change happens - one small victory at a time." That is what I think sums it up!
Thank you for stopping hopping by!
NOW... what you and I are obligated to do--since this is a hopping contest.
I am supposed to offer you the reader a "prize for stopping by". I also encourage you to look around the other 262 blog posts and enter each contest. You could get lucky! All you have to do to win is leave a comment. the entries are accepted between NOW and May 20th. On May 21st I will pick a RANDOM winner from the comments on this blog. (I will link this to my goodreads blog so you MAY leave comments there too!)
To the winner I will give a pdf copy of When Love Is Not Enough. IF YOU ALREADY HAVE IT, I can offer to give you a pdf of the very next book I publish. (I have TWO submitted right now.)
So please, leave me some thoughts. (I'm afraid of what you might say.)
Spread the word and END homophobia!
~Wade
Some years ago I took an "Anger Management" class due to some apparent issues my boss at the time thought I had. LOL I don't even remember what I did. Either it was blacked-out of my memory or it was so insignificant to me that it doesn't matter and therefore my brain dismissed it. Whatever the reason, the event is gone but the memory of taking the class still sticks with me. Why? Because I remember the teacher saying that anger is a secondary emotion. He said, "Anger never comes first. Anger," he explained, "is a byproduct of another emotion. Anger results from fear."
Fear is what I believe fuels the fires of so many wars.
Fear of the unknown keeps people trapped in their safe little sub-divisions. The world seems like a big scary place and huddling in one's own two-story colonial with its white picket fence and a dog in the back yard is comforting. We don't want to know about the wars oversees. We don't want to know about the killings in a neighboring city; we like safe, we cling to warm and fuzzy. But the problem is that the world is an ugly place. People are shot for a pair of shoes! So while homophobia is disturbing, it should not be surprising. Yet it is, because people choose to wear painted glasses that make the world out to be full of love. Wake up, people. The world is not over-flowing with chocolate fountains of love. It's full of hatred and FEAR!
When I was growing up, there were gunshots down the street. It wasn't a safe neighborhood, but I was okay. One day my brother (younger than myself) came home crying. Some kids shoved him off his bike WHILE HE WAS RIDING IT and stole it out from under him. Lucky for him, two other kids were playing basketball nearby and saw what happened. They knew my brother and came to his rescue. They ran after the guys who stole the bike and took it back for him. This was an act of kindness in retaliation to the act of violence. Why did they take it in the first place? I don't know. People always want what others have. Success, popularity, wealth, clothes, chickens, a published novel, you name it. I think they get angry and blame society for the fact that they don't have it-whatever IT is. But what is lurking under the surface of of covetousness? I propose it is FEAR. Perhaps the kids who stole my brother's bike feared never having one of their own, perhaps from poverty, and decided to act out of hatred and anger to get what they desired.
I am being philosophical to make a point. FEAR drives people to do any number of things. And I believe people are homophobic out of fear. They don't understand someone's attraction to the same sex and they see it as a disease. On Wikipedia it defines Homophobia as: "a range of negative attitudes and feelings towards homosexuality or people who are identified as or perceived as being LGBT. Definitions refer variably to antipathy, contempt, prejudice, aversion, and irrational fear." I like that last bit "irrational fear." What fears ARE rational? Fear of bees? Fear of heights? But fear of a homosexual is completely irrational in my book!
And WHY is that? WHY are people afraid of homosexuals? Aren't they people like everyone else?
A friend of mine at Kaleidoscope Trust told me about injustices in Nigeria where people are being jailed because they dared to text someone they cared about who happened to be the same gender. TEXTED!!! What the F*** people? Did we sink so low as a human race that we jail people for texting because they might possibly be gay? Oh my God!
So yeah, I think it all comes back to fear! People don't know how to handle their own misunderstanding and ignorance so they lash out in anger because they are afraid to admit they don't understand. Wouldn't it be easier to get to know someone you don't understand first? If I wanted to know about Ball Pythons I wouldn't run in fear when I saw them. I'd ASK an expert: "Hey, is that snake poisonous?" (To which the reply would be, "NO. And by the way the term is 'venomous'.") I think the same fear applies to tattoos and piercings but that is just an observation...
To squelch the FEAR in our nation and around the world we need to help people understand that homosexuality is not a choice, and it's not a disease. It's they way people are made. (And I believe God makes people but that is another discussion.) Homosexuals are people just like everyone else. He is short, she is smart, this guy has blue eyes, and that girl is gay. It is a trait of the person, why are you afraid of that? What is the solution? hahhahhaaa. (ROFL) Um, people are evil and do stupid things ALL THE TIME! I think the solution is LOVE but I also do not see that people act out on love as much as they like to talk about it. The Bible says, "perfect love casts out fear." But how do you love perfectly? Another "I don't know!"
I FEAR all the time! In fact I was thinking of writing a book on fear! I live it. I cower and I find it hard to just be MYSELF. It is because I am afraid of society. I am afraid of judgement. I am afraid of someone attacking that human part of me they THEY are afraid of. I don't have solutions. But I am trying to make a difference one person at a time. And as I read in DC Juris' blog this morning, "Because that's how change happens - one small victory at a time." That is what I think sums it up!
Thank you for stopping hopping by!
NOW... what you and I are obligated to do--since this is a hopping contest.
I am supposed to offer you the reader a "prize for stopping by". I also encourage you to look around the other 262 blog posts and enter each contest. You could get lucky! All you have to do to win is leave a comment. the entries are accepted between NOW and May 20th. On May 21st I will pick a RANDOM winner from the comments on this blog. (I will link this to my goodreads blog so you MAY leave comments there too!)
To the winner I will give a pdf copy of When Love Is Not Enough. IF YOU ALREADY HAVE IT, I can offer to give you a pdf of the very next book I publish. (I have TWO submitted right now.)
So please, leave me some thoughts. (I'm afraid of what you might say.)
Spread the word and END homophobia!
~Wade
First of all, I've never met him. Second we have nothing in common, and everything in common. I am currently reading On Writing. This is the second time I've tried to read it. I think my first attempt was back in 2007 (maybe) when I was first starting out in the daunting task of editing a manuscript. I had finally found an editor and she was kind enough to show me how often I wrote in passive voice. I believe she was the one to recommend Mr. King's book. I say that the first time was an attempt because I faded before the middle of the book. It was boring and I didn't understand it. I came at it wanting an epiphany and all I got was his life's history. I thought, "This is supposed to be about writing, not an autobiography." Oh how naive I was.
I still am green but I can see definite progress in my thinking. I'm learning. (BTW, I'm a slow learner.)
This time around I was ready for the brilliance. And although I am not finished-I'm on page 122-I felt the need to pass on what little I have learned about writing and the meaningful amount of encouragement I've gained from Mr. King. (Thank you for your book, by the way.)
As I read On Writing and I find a passage here and there that strikes a cord in my brain, I highlight it! This is not something I do with every book I read, but with this one it seemed appropriate. My advice to every author (published or not) is to read this book again and highlight things. Then, years later, read it again. Your brain changes over time. Your thoughts and your outlook changes. His words will come at you differently each time. THIS TIME, Stephen King's life history put in prospective his challenges and his perseverance. In that regard we are both the same.
Every writer has to start somewhere. Whether they are the product of a single-parent family environment or they have all the tea in china, writers begin somewhere. NO ONE starts off writingThe Shining in his first go-round. (And I am not educated enough to think of writers on the equivalent as Mozart writing a symphony) BUT the writers who eventually DO write The Shining, and Carrie,etc... WORK to do it. It takes time, talent, and tenaciousness. (I like alliteration.) To be a writer means you WILL be rejected. But what you do with that rejection will shape how you look at your art.
I'm learning that most writers are extremely critical of their own stuff. Even Stephen King said he threw Carrie into the trash! If that is not encouragement right there I do not know what is! In his book he says things like, “I have spent a good many years since--too many, I think--being ashamed about what I write. I think I was forty before I realized that almost every writer of fiction or poetry who has ever published a line has been accused by someone of wasting his or her God-given talent. If you write (or paint or dance or sculpt or sing, I suppose), someone will try to make you feel lousy about it, that's all.” (pg. 50) I highlight these lines to remind myself I am not alone in these thoughts. People DO and have made me feel lousy about what I write.
I was at a dinner party last year and I was excited about When Love Is Not Enough because it was accepted by Dreamspinner and would finally get published. One person at the party asked about it. (She was an aspiring author and I am not sure as yet of she is published.) When I gave her a description she said something to the affect of, "Oh, you mean you are publishing crap." That comment stuck with me. She thought it was crap because it had sex in it. She thought it was crap because it was not a mainstream book. She thought it was crap because I didn't have a literary agent. Maybe in the eyes of most of the literary world it IS crap, but it is crap that means the world to ME! And not just me, When Love Is Not Enough has meant something to its readers.
This is MY beginning. Stephen King had the sci-fi mags and the short stories he wrote when he was young. He started writing very young where as I DID NOT. (I think I was in high school and beyond when writing became a passion.) He started and he kept on going because it was in his bones. NONE of us know who the next Stephen King will be. Do we? The world didn't know who he was when he was 10, but most of the world does now! Writers have a beginning and as they take each step into the dark unknown they have to have faith in their dream.
As I have seen elsewhere on the internet, "Most people are not cut out to be astronauts, some are going to be fry-cooks." The same can be said of authors. Not everyone out there is going to write a novel as acclaimed as Gone With The Wind, or The Godfather, but how do we know unless we start?
Stephen King is an amazing author who takes us on HIS personal writing journey in On Writing The book is to show how he was formed. His talent was there, but the book explains in his mind how his craft was shaped over time.
If the gift is in us, we owe to ourselves to put it to use. We must learn and grow and and put to page the stories that form in our minds.
As I write, I have also learned that only other writers appreciate the creativity and loneliness that being an author brings. "Outsiders" want to know where we get our ideas and how we write. But only authors know that sometimes there are no answers for those questions. Sometimes the idea comes out of no where. Sometimes they are two ideas put together. Sometimes the story comes from a mutated for of a childhood memory. Whatever it is, only other writers appreciate it for the "unknown aspect" that it is. I am glad for those other writers I have met through the years. (Although not so happy about meeting the one who called my writing crap.)
I'd like to think I have something powerful to say. I want to reach the world. I want to let people know they matter and they are loved for WHO THEY ARE! If other people call that crap, maybe they just don't understand what it means to have a vision.
That is all I have to say for now. Leave comments, you know I love those!
PS: to all of those people who read and rate WLINE, Thank You! I TRY to "like" a review and read what people think, or even say "glad you liked it" when someone gives me 4 stars (or whatever) but I am finding it harder to do that. For some reason not all people who rate the book can be found. (Maybe it is a privacy setting?) But for those I can't thank personally, I DO THANK YOU! and I do notice.
~Wade
xoxo
May 16, 2012
First of all, I've never met him. Second we have nothing in common, and everything in common. I am currently reading On Writing. This is the second time I've tried to read it. I think my first attempt was back in 2007 (maybe) when I was first starting out in the daunting task of editing a manuscript. I had finally found an editor and she was kind enough to show me how often I wrote in passive voice. I believe she was the one to recommend Mr. King's book. I say that the first time was an attempt because I faded before the middle of the book. It was boring and I didn't understand it. I came at it wanting an epiphany and all I got was his life's history. I thought, "This is supposed to be about writing, not an autobiography." Oh how naive I was.
I still am green but I can see definite progress in my thinking. I'm learning. (BTW, I'm a slow learner.)
This time around I was ready for the brilliance. And although I am not finished-I'm on page 122-I felt the need to pass on what little I have learned about writing and the meaningful amount of encouragement I've gained from Mr. King. (Thank you for your book, by the way.)
As I read On Writing and I find a passage here and there that strikes a cord in my brain, I highlight it! This is not something I do with every book I read, but with this one it seemed appropriate. My advice to every author (published or not) is to read this book again and highlight things. Then, years later, read it again. Your brain changes over time. Your thoughts and your outlook changes. His words will come at you differently each time. THIS TIME, Stephen King's life history put in prospective his challenges and his perseverance. In that regard we are both the same.
Every writer has to start somewhere. Whether they are the product of a single-parent family environment or they have all the tea in china, writers begin somewhere. NO ONE starts off writing The Shining in his first go-round. (And I am not educated enough to think of writers on the equivalent as Mozart writing a symphony) BUT the writers who eventually DO write The Shining, and Carrie, etc... WORK to do it. It takes time, talent, and tenaciousness. (I like alliteration.) To be a writer means you WILL be rejected. But what you do with that rejection will shape how you look at your art.
I'm learning that most writers are extremely critical of their own stuff. Even Stephen King said he threw Carrie into the trash! If that is not encouragement right there I do not know what is! In his book he says things like, “I have spent a good many years since--too many, I think--being ashamed about what I write. I think I was forty before I realized that almost every writer of fiction or poetry who has ever published a line has been accused by someone of wasting his or her God-given talent. If you write (or paint or dance or sculpt or sing, I suppose), someone will try to make you feel lousy about it, that's all.” (pg. 50) I highlight these lines to remind myself I am not alone in these thoughts. People DO and have made me feel lousy about what I write.
I was at a dinner party last year and I was excited about When Love Is Not Enough because it was accepted by Dreamspinner and would finally get published. One person at the party asked about it. (She was an aspiring author and I am not sure as yet of she is published.) When I gave her a description she said something to the affect of, "Oh, you mean you are publishing crap." That comment stuck with me. She thought it was crap because it had sex in it. She thought it was crap because it was not a mainstream book. She thought it was crap because I didn't have a literary agent. Maybe in the eyes of most of the literary world it IS crap, but it is crap that means the world to ME! And not just me, When Love Is Not Enough has meant something to its readers.
This is MY beginning. Stephen King had the sci-fi mags and the short stories he wrote when he was young. He started writing very young where as I DID NOT. (I think I was in high school and beyond when writing became a passion.) He started and he kept on going because it was in his bones. NONE of us know who the next Stephen King will be. Do we? The world didn't know who he was when he was 10, but most of the world does now! Writers have a beginning and as they take each step into the dark unknown they have to have faith in their dream.
As I have seen elsewhere on the internet, "Most people are not cut out to be astronauts, some are going to be fry-cooks." The same can be said of authors. Not everyone out there is going to write a novel as acclaimed as Gone With The Wind, or The Godfather, but how do we know unless we start?
Stephen King is an amazing author who takes us on HIS personal writing journey in On Writing The book is to show how he was formed. His talent was there, but the book explains in his mind how his craft was shaped over time.
If the gift is in us, we owe to ourselves to put it to use. We must learn and grow and and put to page the stories that form in our minds.
As I write, I have also learned that only other writers appreciate the creativity and loneliness that being an author brings. "Outsiders" want to know where we get our ideas and how we write. But only authors know that sometimes there are no answers for those questions. Sometimes the idea comes out of no where. Sometimes they are two ideas put together. Sometimes the story comes from a mutated for of a childhood memory. Whatever it is, only other writers appreciate it for the "unknown aspect" that it is. I am glad for those other writers I have met through the years. (Although not so happy about meeting the one who called my writing crap.)
I'd like to think I have something powerful to say. I want to reach the world. I want to let people know they matter and they are loved for WHO THEY ARE! If other people call that crap, maybe they just don't understand what it means to have a vision.
That is all I have to say for now. Leave comments, you know I love those!
PS: to all of those people who read and rate WLINE, Thank You! I TRY to "like" a review and read what people think, or even say "glad you liked it" when someone gives me 4 stars (or whatever) but I am finding it harder to do that. For some reason not all people who rate the book can be found. (Maybe it is a privacy setting?) But for those I can't thank personally, I DO THANK YOU! and I do notice.
~Wade
xoxo
I still am green but I can see definite progress in my thinking. I'm learning. (BTW, I'm a slow learner.)
This time around I was ready for the brilliance. And although I am not finished-I'm on page 122-I felt the need to pass on what little I have learned about writing and the meaningful amount of encouragement I've gained from Mr. King. (Thank you for your book, by the way.)
As I read On Writing and I find a passage here and there that strikes a cord in my brain, I highlight it! This is not something I do with every book I read, but with this one it seemed appropriate. My advice to every author (published or not) is to read this book again and highlight things. Then, years later, read it again. Your brain changes over time. Your thoughts and your outlook changes. His words will come at you differently each time. THIS TIME, Stephen King's life history put in prospective his challenges and his perseverance. In that regard we are both the same.
Every writer has to start somewhere. Whether they are the product of a single-parent family environment or they have all the tea in china, writers begin somewhere. NO ONE starts off writing The Shining in his first go-round. (And I am not educated enough to think of writers on the equivalent as Mozart writing a symphony) BUT the writers who eventually DO write The Shining, and Carrie, etc... WORK to do it. It takes time, talent, and tenaciousness. (I like alliteration.) To be a writer means you WILL be rejected. But what you do with that rejection will shape how you look at your art.
I'm learning that most writers are extremely critical of their own stuff. Even Stephen King said he threw Carrie into the trash! If that is not encouragement right there I do not know what is! In his book he says things like, “I have spent a good many years since--too many, I think--being ashamed about what I write. I think I was forty before I realized that almost every writer of fiction or poetry who has ever published a line has been accused by someone of wasting his or her God-given talent. If you write (or paint or dance or sculpt or sing, I suppose), someone will try to make you feel lousy about it, that's all.” (pg. 50) I highlight these lines to remind myself I am not alone in these thoughts. People DO and have made me feel lousy about what I write.
I was at a dinner party last year and I was excited about When Love Is Not Enough because it was accepted by Dreamspinner and would finally get published. One person at the party asked about it. (She was an aspiring author and I am not sure as yet of she is published.) When I gave her a description she said something to the affect of, "Oh, you mean you are publishing crap." That comment stuck with me. She thought it was crap because it had sex in it. She thought it was crap because it was not a mainstream book. She thought it was crap because I didn't have a literary agent. Maybe in the eyes of most of the literary world it IS crap, but it is crap that means the world to ME! And not just me, When Love Is Not Enough has meant something to its readers.
This is MY beginning. Stephen King had the sci-fi mags and the short stories he wrote when he was young. He started writing very young where as I DID NOT. (I think I was in high school and beyond when writing became a passion.) He started and he kept on going because it was in his bones. NONE of us know who the next Stephen King will be. Do we? The world didn't know who he was when he was 10, but most of the world does now! Writers have a beginning and as they take each step into the dark unknown they have to have faith in their dream.
As I have seen elsewhere on the internet, "Most people are not cut out to be astronauts, some are going to be fry-cooks." The same can be said of authors. Not everyone out there is going to write a novel as acclaimed as Gone With The Wind, or The Godfather, but how do we know unless we start?
Stephen King is an amazing author who takes us on HIS personal writing journey in On Writing The book is to show how he was formed. His talent was there, but the book explains in his mind how his craft was shaped over time.
If the gift is in us, we owe to ourselves to put it to use. We must learn and grow and and put to page the stories that form in our minds.
As I write, I have also learned that only other writers appreciate the creativity and loneliness that being an author brings. "Outsiders" want to know where we get our ideas and how we write. But only authors know that sometimes there are no answers for those questions. Sometimes the idea comes out of no where. Sometimes they are two ideas put together. Sometimes the story comes from a mutated for of a childhood memory. Whatever it is, only other writers appreciate it for the "unknown aspect" that it is. I am glad for those other writers I have met through the years. (Although not so happy about meeting the one who called my writing crap.)
I'd like to think I have something powerful to say. I want to reach the world. I want to let people know they matter and they are loved for WHO THEY ARE! If other people call that crap, maybe they just don't understand what it means to have a vision.
That is all I have to say for now. Leave comments, you know I love those!
PS: to all of those people who read and rate WLINE, Thank You! I TRY to "like" a review and read what people think, or even say "glad you liked it" when someone gives me 4 stars (or whatever) but I am finding it harder to do that. For some reason not all people who rate the book can be found. (Maybe it is a privacy setting?) But for those I can't thank personally, I DO THANK YOU! and I do notice.
~Wade
xoxo
May 11, 2012
(For one, do I even use apostrophes there?) I guess I am not in that place I need to be to write. My mind is elsewhere. I know I should write and I NEED to edit but the energy flow is ebbed by… something… Questions? Life? Purpose? I guess we all think about these things at one time or another. In this moment, I am at that spot.
I think a lot about purpose and what I think I am supposed to do with my gifts. I feel in my bones I am a writer. No matter how little I have written and published TODAY, I know that I have so much more inside of me to say and contribute to the world of literature. Of course there are those who would not even consider the genre of m/m romance as literature at all, to them I say bugger off. (I like pretending I have a British accent. It’s fun.) I think sometimes it is all a matter of playing the game. M/M romance has it’s own stigmas and stereotypes. There are definite do’s and don’ts. I think little by little there are writers who are trying to break away from the accepted norms and write more freely. BUT it is all in getting established. That is what drives everything, isn’t it?
Getting established is hard. Yes, getting that first book published is a huge accomplishment, but what of the second? Third? It seems daunting when the FIRST acceptance doesn’t guarantee the second. It is all about work! I want to put in the time and energy, I SHOULD, but sometimes my brain gets hung up in how to focus on the tasks at hand. And I drift…
I know I need to write right now, but I’m not. Too much on my mind.
For one thing, a friend of mine died two years ago today. Mark and I met online. He was an inspiration and a good man. He was kind. I wish I knew him longer. Rest in Peace. Two years ago I went through a lot of sh** and this is just one of the pieces that cut.
Another thought is FEAR. Fear of the unknown. Fear of judgment. Fear of the future. Fear of being alone. Fear of not knowing your purpose.
“Perfect love casts out fear.”
How does one love perfectly? I don’t think we can.
Then what do I have left? I hide behind words on a page. Very few people know exactly what I went through two years ago, and therefore don’t know the depth of fear that grips me now. I am trying to be myself, but “myself” is not in the open to ANYONE where I live. It took me two years to start trusting people again. I told one friend (a relatively new friend) about everything I went through. I told this person my fears and events that changed me, that shut me down. This person said they were proud of me. ME. My therapist told me once in her opinion I “was attacked.” I know in my mind I believe that but the heart still wants to hold onto the possibility that someone else will do the same thing. So I hide.
I have a story to tell. It’s not finished. TCOL still needs to be published and the third book needs to be written! I can’t jeopardize that by being freely ME. I’m okay with hiding. For now, in this moment, it seems right so that I can say what I need to say to the world and no one can stop me. But then what? Do I step up? Is this what I should do? Do I say “this is me” like it or not? What if I can’t?
Why? Fear.
For some of the same reasons that I hide from my “hometown” now, I fear similar judgments from the “world” if they knew who I am.
What if I was President Obama? (I’m not, btw) But what if I was? Would the world judge him differently if secretly his secret identity was an m/m romance writer? What if I was an 65 yr old school teacher? In Elementary school? Would the community around me judge me for writing gay sex? What if I was the boys lacrosse coach at a local HS? Would I be viewed as a pervert and my ethics questioned?
Where is the line drawn by society? What kinds of rules do authors have to follow in order to be accepted by the readers in their own communities? I DON’T KNOW.
Is this why writers need pseudonyms?
And then what happens when you touch the heart of ONE reader (or more) and you want to share your very hopes and dreams and soul with that person but fear steps in? Fear. I can’t escape it.
I want to be loved and accepted for who I am. Just like I WANT to accept others for who they are. But HOW do I let go of the fear that grips my heart and take that step of faith that when I close my eyes and fall backwards, YOU (dear reader) will catch me? And if I don't say a word, am I selfishly making that decision for you?
Oh if life only had an instruction manual. So far, the rest of my box was empty.
Amendment. 5:59pm I submitted my MS for My Roommate's A Jock. :)
I think a lot about purpose and what I think I am supposed to do with my gifts. I feel in my bones I am a writer. No matter how little I have written and published TODAY, I know that I have so much more inside of me to say and contribute to the world of literature. Of course there are those who would not even consider the genre of m/m romance as literature at all, to them I say bugger off. (I like pretending I have a British accent. It’s fun.) I think sometimes it is all a matter of playing the game. M/M romance has it’s own stigmas and stereotypes. There are definite do’s and don’ts. I think little by little there are writers who are trying to break away from the accepted norms and write more freely. BUT it is all in getting established. That is what drives everything, isn’t it?
Getting established is hard. Yes, getting that first book published is a huge accomplishment, but what of the second? Third? It seems daunting when the FIRST acceptance doesn’t guarantee the second. It is all about work! I want to put in the time and energy, I SHOULD, but sometimes my brain gets hung up in how to focus on the tasks at hand. And I drift…
I know I need to write right now, but I’m not. Too much on my mind.
For one thing, a friend of mine died two years ago today. Mark and I met online. He was an inspiration and a good man. He was kind. I wish I knew him longer. Rest in Peace. Two years ago I went through a lot of sh** and this is just one of the pieces that cut.
Another thought is FEAR. Fear of the unknown. Fear of judgment. Fear of the future. Fear of being alone. Fear of not knowing your purpose.
“Perfect love casts out fear.”
How does one love perfectly? I don’t think we can.
Then what do I have left? I hide behind words on a page. Very few people know exactly what I went through two years ago, and therefore don’t know the depth of fear that grips me now. I am trying to be myself, but “myself” is not in the open to ANYONE where I live. It took me two years to start trusting people again. I told one friend (a relatively new friend) about everything I went through. I told this person my fears and events that changed me, that shut me down. This person said they were proud of me. ME. My therapist told me once in her opinion I “was attacked.” I know in my mind I believe that but the heart still wants to hold onto the possibility that someone else will do the same thing. So I hide.
I have a story to tell. It’s not finished. TCOL still needs to be published and the third book needs to be written! I can’t jeopardize that by being freely ME. I’m okay with hiding. For now, in this moment, it seems right so that I can say what I need to say to the world and no one can stop me. But then what? Do I step up? Is this what I should do? Do I say “this is me” like it or not? What if I can’t?
Why? Fear.
For some of the same reasons that I hide from my “hometown” now, I fear similar judgments from the “world” if they knew who I am.
What if I was President Obama? (I’m not, btw) But what if I was? Would the world judge him differently if secretly his secret identity was an m/m romance writer? What if I was an 65 yr old school teacher? In Elementary school? Would the community around me judge me for writing gay sex? What if I was the boys lacrosse coach at a local HS? Would I be viewed as a pervert and my ethics questioned?
Where is the line drawn by society? What kinds of rules do authors have to follow in order to be accepted by the readers in their own communities? I DON’T KNOW.
Is this why writers need pseudonyms?
And then what happens when you touch the heart of ONE reader (or more) and you want to share your very hopes and dreams and soul with that person but fear steps in? Fear. I can’t escape it.
I want to be loved and accepted for who I am. Just like I WANT to accept others for who they are. But HOW do I let go of the fear that grips my heart and take that step of faith that when I close my eyes and fall backwards, YOU (dear reader) will catch me? And if I don't say a word, am I selfishly making that decision for you?
Oh if life only had an instruction manual. So far, the rest of my box was empty.
Amendment. 5:59pm I submitted my MS for My Roommate's A Jock. :)
May 8, 2012
This video I tragic but how many people blow it off and don't care? OR don't even know this happens because that are all closed up in their safe little homes.
(trying to embed video here but it doesn't work. Click the Tom and Shane link to view video on You Tube.
This tragic story of Tom and Shane is out there. THIS REALLY HAPPENS. Shane even says he has to post this so others will know about it and think about it incase the unthinkable happens in their lives. We are not in a free culture. America seems free because we DO have more freedoms than so many other countries. We do! For the most part, people are not jailed and tortured as easily HERE as they are in other countries for being gay. Being gay in America is not a crime punishable by death. (Although, I bet there are people who think it should be.) There are many places in the US of A that are NOT "gay friendly" and do not welcome same sex couples. We all know this! Don't we? Or maybe you don't think about it at all?
In m/m romance for the most part (the genre I fell into) the same sex couples have fairy tale lives. They are cowboys, or vampires, or shapeshifters and they have a lot of sex. They fall in love. They defy someone here and there, or some opposition and beat the odds and live happily ever after. And oddly enough, they probably have a brother that is gay, ad a cousin, and a neighbor, so that every book written that follows has the same setting etc... It's all happy. Yes, there maybe gay-bashing but it is small and gotten over quickly.
Have I written the stereotypical novel based on that. Yes. I guess I have to some extent. Darian is not a shapeshifter, and jamie isn't a cowboy, but Matt IS a firefighter. And then there is my newest one... My Roommate's a Jock? Well, Crap! This novel will definitely be more widely accepted. It is funny. It HAS an HAE. It has romance and angst and memorable characters. People will love it. Blockbuster? Probably not. It is MY book after all and I am not that lucky. But, as it is MY book, I do have controversial stuff included. One chapter is called "Hate Crimes" for a reason. (You will have to read it to know what hate crimes I write about). I Did not set out to write "popularity". I just sat down with a scene in my head of a camping trip and I went on from there. (The camping trip is chapter 6. "Rainy andWhet Wet" It is so funny. -in my opinion.) Did I KNOW comedy was going to come out? No. Not right away. I don't really think a head that much. I get an idea and I run with it. I had a name "Cole" and then I thought of an opening line "Someone told me I’m a cynical fatalist but I prefer the term realist." From there on it seemed like I needed to write fun and upbeat. It FIT Cole. AND it was a refreshing change from writing DARK.
Darian and Matt (and Jamie for that matter) are hard and painful to write sometimes. BUT, I write pain because I think that is what people need to hear. I write reality because it is, um, REAL. Things like this happen! And for all those people out there who go through pain, tragedy, and losing a loved one, (Like Shane in the video I linked) I want to tell then YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Because it is easy to think, "I'm the only one who feels like this." It is easy to give into the lie, "No one feels this pain like I do." TRUE, no one knows your pain as intimately as you, BUT there ARE other who feel pain. Life is not pretty. If we carry our pain alone it is heavy and overwhelming and crippling. There are support groups for "losing children", and "losing spouses" etc... But where are the support groups for "I just lost my same-sex partner of ten years"? Same sex couple marriage is not recognized in most states. And even if it IS recognized in some states I do not think it is recognized FEDERALLY . (feel free to comment and correct me if I am wrong.)
I WANT to write about characters like this. Like the people who really exist and really live in fear and pain and tragedy. But where do I submit this theme? I don't know. As we have already seen, TCOL was rejected twice. (and submitted again, but I seriously think it will not fly there either.) So where do I turn? >>Here is where comments come in! Feel free to post publishers you have heard of that DO NOT typically publish the "popular" stuff. I need to know. Real life, angsty pain, autobiographies, hate crimes, true life struggles, because not not every gay man is a cowboy. Not all gay couples have a HEA. But I do admit I like the gay couples who have a lot of sex. It gives me hope. (I like to dream.)
Do I have a story like Tom and Shane's in me to tell? I don't know. But if I DO, I'd like to know where to send it to be published. Any thoughts?
Tell me what you think. I like reading comments!
xoxo
Wade
(trying to embed video here but it doesn't work. Click the Tom and Shane link to view video on You Tube.
This tragic story of Tom and Shane is out there. THIS REALLY HAPPENS. Shane even says he has to post this so others will know about it and think about it incase the unthinkable happens in their lives. We are not in a free culture. America seems free because we DO have more freedoms than so many other countries. We do! For the most part, people are not jailed and tortured as easily HERE as they are in other countries for being gay. Being gay in America is not a crime punishable by death. (Although, I bet there are people who think it should be.) There are many places in the US of A that are NOT "gay friendly" and do not welcome same sex couples. We all know this! Don't we? Or maybe you don't think about it at all?
In m/m romance for the most part (the genre I fell into) the same sex couples have fairy tale lives. They are cowboys, or vampires, or shapeshifters and they have a lot of sex. They fall in love. They defy someone here and there, or some opposition and beat the odds and live happily ever after. And oddly enough, they probably have a brother that is gay, ad a cousin, and a neighbor, so that every book written that follows has the same setting etc... It's all happy. Yes, there maybe gay-bashing but it is small and gotten over quickly.
Have I written the stereotypical novel based on that. Yes. I guess I have to some extent. Darian is not a shapeshifter, and jamie isn't a cowboy, but Matt IS a firefighter. And then there is my newest one... My Roommate's a Jock? Well, Crap! This novel will definitely be more widely accepted. It is funny. It HAS an HAE. It has romance and angst and memorable characters. People will love it. Blockbuster? Probably not. It is MY book after all and I am not that lucky. But, as it is MY book, I do have controversial stuff included. One chapter is called "Hate Crimes" for a reason. (You will have to read it to know what hate crimes I write about). I Did not set out to write "popularity". I just sat down with a scene in my head of a camping trip and I went on from there. (The camping trip is chapter 6. "Rainy and
Darian and Matt (and Jamie for that matter) are hard and painful to write sometimes. BUT, I write pain because I think that is what people need to hear. I write reality because it is, um, REAL. Things like this happen! And for all those people out there who go through pain, tragedy, and losing a loved one, (Like Shane in the video I linked) I want to tell then YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Because it is easy to think, "I'm the only one who feels like this." It is easy to give into the lie, "No one feels this pain like I do." TRUE, no one knows your pain as intimately as you, BUT there ARE other who feel pain. Life is not pretty. If we carry our pain alone it is heavy and overwhelming and crippling. There are support groups for "losing children", and "losing spouses" etc... But where are the support groups for "I just lost my same-sex partner of ten years"? Same sex couple marriage is not recognized in most states. And even if it IS recognized in some states I do not think it is recognized FEDERALLY . (feel free to comment and correct me if I am wrong.)
I WANT to write about characters like this. Like the people who really exist and really live in fear and pain and tragedy. But where do I submit this theme? I don't know. As we have already seen, TCOL was rejected twice. (and submitted again, but I seriously think it will not fly there either.) So where do I turn? >>Here is where comments come in! Feel free to post publishers you have heard of that DO NOT typically publish the "popular" stuff. I need to know. Real life, angsty pain, autobiographies, hate crimes, true life struggles, because not not every gay man is a cowboy. Not all gay couples have a HEA. But I do admit I like the gay couples who have a lot of sex. It gives me hope. (I like to dream.)
Do I have a story like Tom and Shane's in me to tell? I don't know. But if I DO, I'd like to know where to send it to be published. Any thoughts?
Tell me what you think. I like reading comments!
xoxo
Wade
May 4, 2012
... or maybe you don't. That's okay too. It just seems like (to me) that When Love Is Not Enough is always "runner up" in any kind of list, competition, poll, or what have you that involves the words "tear jerker" and "Published in 2011". Mainly because Bear, Otter, and the Kid always out does me! This LIST is no different! BUT! I made the list! That is something. My only question is, "How does T.J. do it?" Besides being a really good writer he is so well known. Is there a secret to widespread popularity and marketing? Or is it simply "the book speaks for itself"? (Which is definitely true.)
I question this because way back when Hot Head came out, Damon Suede had like 5000 ratings on Goodreads before the first day of sales was over! How do people do that? I realize I am a nobody and my name is not really out there, but how does one GET IT OUT THERE? Do these authors know people? I think Damon has been in the business a while even though Hot Head was his first M/M publication so perhaps his swift popularity is due to "knowing" people. Maybe. But Mr. Klune, I Think, is as new as I am to the business. What does he do differently? Hmm, I guess one big one is HE DOESN'T WRITE ABOUT SUICIDE! So maybe I have to consider my topic when I write. His book also has a pretty damn funny KID in it! People love kids. Do I sound jealous? I am. But not in an unhealthy "I'm gonna boil your cat" sort of way. (Sorry, reference to a movie I saw once.) I yearn for a book that sells like that! I covet his ability to write something deeply moving AND popular.
Am I in it for the money? I'm glad you asked. Yes, and NO. I need money because I have none and in the perfect world I would get paid to do what I love: WRITE! As we all know this is not a perfect world. So what do I choose to do? Write about suicide and scare people off. This is actually the way my life goes often so it should not surprise me! However, I seriously feel I DID NOT CHOOSE this topic or story. I feel my gift or writing comes from God and When Love Is Not Enough is the story God wanted me to write. My therapist asked me where I thought my ideas and stories came from and that IS the answer I gave her. God. I feel I have a purpose that goes beyond the words on the page. I feel I have a purpose that involves the heart. More specifically, the hearts of my readers.
The truest example of that came to me AGAIN this week in the form of a "new friend online". Lets call him DUDE. :) (Because I'm retarded and need mental help.) So... Dude writes me to thank me for my book. I have had this happen before. Tom was one of the first people I blogged about who wrote to me to thank me for what I wrote and make me feel like the pain I experienced in that writing was worth it. Dude did no less than that. Alright, I am annoying myself calling him Dude. It makes this sound less sincere. This FRIEND I talked to was really kind and blew me away by his expression of how much MY STORY meant to him. And he told my that what I wrote resonated with his own history etc in many ways. (Friend, if you read this, I am getting that from reading the "message" you send me that your friend wrote and extrapolating what I think you meant. If you know what I mean?) AND, oddly, I think The Cost of Loving will hit him ever harder. (considering the content of that "message" he sent.)
Friend sent me a quote that said "Stephen King said that if you're writing to make money, you're waisting you're time." and friend told me "You write for the right reasons." For his sake and others out there who feel the same way and haven't contacted me, I HOPE I CAN KEEP THAT GOAL IN MIND EVERY TIME I WRITE!
I am not in it for the money. It would be nice! I would LOVE to do this as a career because I love writing. But truly, I write because me heart is involved. I feel for the pain of the world. I want people t see they are not alone in their struggles and that they can find hope! There is always HOPE! Yes, my stories are fiction. My characters are fictional. (Otherwise the book would be under NON-FICTION, not m/m romance.) BUT I do strive to write realistically. I pull from everything I know, and see, and feel, and experience around me and I pour it onto the pages. If you are out there, and you are like FRIEND who felt a deep connection to my writing and MY BOOK helped you in ANY WAY, then I have accomplished what I wanted to achieve as a writer. I want to touch people's lives. Truly, deeply, sincerely, and in the heart. Will I ever make money at it? I can only hope so! But for now, I will simply write the stories I think people need to hear.
So thank you, Friend, your words meant something to me too!
Conclusion: TJ can have the fame and fortune, and I will live out my dismal life, poor and invisible yet with a great sense of knowing I made a difference to specific people. Not the world as a whole by storm, but one heart at a time.
:)
On a freaky side-note... "Friend" looks exactly like Cole in my new story. Blew me away! I was like "Holy Shi...." I find it bizarrely odd that I write a character and describe him in such a way, and then come across someone who looks exactly like the person in my imagination. WOW!
My Roommate's A Jock will be submitted soon, people! I am working on edits and relearning the use of the comma. Going word by word through a manuscript is SLOW work, but I hope it pays off! This one should be fun and more widely accepted. And I am still waiting to hear back about TCOL.
Cheers. I hope y'all have a great weekend!
If you are bored. Go to the Goodreads LISTS and vote! Of course I imply "vote for me!" but there are loads of good books out there to stick in a list.
Best Tear Jerker!
Best Romance published 2011
Favorite couple (Duh! Darian and Matt!)
I question this because way back when Hot Head came out, Damon Suede had like 5000 ratings on Goodreads before the first day of sales was over! How do people do that? I realize I am a nobody and my name is not really out there, but how does one GET IT OUT THERE? Do these authors know people? I think Damon has been in the business a while even though Hot Head was his first M/M publication so perhaps his swift popularity is due to "knowing" people. Maybe. But Mr. Klune, I Think, is as new as I am to the business. What does he do differently? Hmm, I guess one big one is HE DOESN'T WRITE ABOUT SUICIDE! So maybe I have to consider my topic when I write. His book also has a pretty damn funny KID in it! People love kids. Do I sound jealous? I am. But not in an unhealthy "I'm gonna boil your cat" sort of way. (Sorry, reference to a movie I saw once.) I yearn for a book that sells like that! I covet his ability to write something deeply moving AND popular.
Am I in it for the money? I'm glad you asked. Yes, and NO. I need money because I have none and in the perfect world I would get paid to do what I love: WRITE! As we all know this is not a perfect world. So what do I choose to do? Write about suicide and scare people off. This is actually the way my life goes often so it should not surprise me! However, I seriously feel I DID NOT CHOOSE this topic or story. I feel my gift or writing comes from God and When Love Is Not Enough is the story God wanted me to write. My therapist asked me where I thought my ideas and stories came from and that IS the answer I gave her. God. I feel I have a purpose that goes beyond the words on the page. I feel I have a purpose that involves the heart. More specifically, the hearts of my readers.
The truest example of that came to me AGAIN this week in the form of a "new friend online". Lets call him DUDE. :) (Because I'm retarded and need mental help.) So... Dude writes me to thank me for my book. I have had this happen before. Tom was one of the first people I blogged about who wrote to me to thank me for what I wrote and make me feel like the pain I experienced in that writing was worth it. Dude did no less than that. Alright, I am annoying myself calling him Dude. It makes this sound less sincere. This FRIEND I talked to was really kind and blew me away by his expression of how much MY STORY meant to him. And he told my that what I wrote resonated with his own history etc in many ways. (Friend, if you read this, I am getting that from reading the "message" you send me that your friend wrote and extrapolating what I think you meant. If you know what I mean?) AND, oddly, I think The Cost of Loving will hit him ever harder. (considering the content of that "message" he sent.)
Friend sent me a quote that said "Stephen King said that if you're writing to make money, you're waisting you're time." and friend told me "You write for the right reasons." For his sake and others out there who feel the same way and haven't contacted me, I HOPE I CAN KEEP THAT GOAL IN MIND EVERY TIME I WRITE!
I am not in it for the money. It would be nice! I would LOVE to do this as a career because I love writing. But truly, I write because me heart is involved. I feel for the pain of the world. I want people t see they are not alone in their struggles and that they can find hope! There is always HOPE! Yes, my stories are fiction. My characters are fictional. (Otherwise the book would be under NON-FICTION, not m/m romance.) BUT I do strive to write realistically. I pull from everything I know, and see, and feel, and experience around me and I pour it onto the pages. If you are out there, and you are like FRIEND who felt a deep connection to my writing and MY BOOK helped you in ANY WAY, then I have accomplished what I wanted to achieve as a writer. I want to touch people's lives. Truly, deeply, sincerely, and in the heart. Will I ever make money at it? I can only hope so! But for now, I will simply write the stories I think people need to hear.
So thank you, Friend, your words meant something to me too!
Conclusion: TJ can have the fame and fortune, and I will live out my dismal life, poor and invisible yet with a great sense of knowing I made a difference to specific people. Not the world as a whole by storm, but one heart at a time.
:)
On a freaky side-note... "Friend" looks exactly like Cole in my new story. Blew me away! I was like "Holy Shi...." I find it bizarrely odd that I write a character and describe him in such a way, and then come across someone who looks exactly like the person in my imagination. WOW!
My Roommate's A Jock will be submitted soon, people! I am working on edits and relearning the use of the comma. Going word by word through a manuscript is SLOW work, but I hope it pays off! This one should be fun and more widely accepted. And I am still waiting to hear back about TCOL.
Cheers. I hope y'all have a great weekend!
If you are bored. Go to the Goodreads LISTS and vote! Of course I imply "vote for me!" but there are loads of good books out there to stick in a list.
Best Tear Jerker!
Best Romance published 2011
Favorite couple (Duh! Darian and Matt!)
April 30, 2012
Anyone that follows me can tell I go through "phases." I write, I rest, I write some more, I doubt my abilities as a writer, I blog about my inabilities as a writer, I take hits from readers about being a dumb-ass for not believing in my abilities as a writer, I go back to writing, and somewhere in there I also READ. So, I am back to the "reading" stage. Reading is like a re-charge. Getting my mind off of MY characters, and MY stories helps to clear the cobwebs and straighten up the wrinkles. My brain gets weary and blurry and I can't always think enough to write complete sentences. So I take a break.
Right now, TCOL is with another publisher. (I seriously hope they take it because I don't want to go through the rigamarole of self-pub. I can, and I will, but I don't want to. I was looking into it and there is a LONG list of rules and stuff. I have an idea for a cover and an artist willing to work for me, but really it would be so much easier if a regular publisher just took a shot with me. One of the main reasons is cross-over characters. While My Roommate's a Jock is not a sequel by any means, it does have some of the same characters that are in TCOL. Namely, Darian & Matt but also Darian's friend Sara and her brother... oh what's his name?... oh yeah-ELLIS! I don't know why I did that but I like it when characters do guest appearances on other shows. (rough segue into sit-coms.) Also, when I was writing MRJWC I really thought TCOL was going to be published BEFORE it. Now I am not so sure. Technically TCOL comes chronologically first. There are references to events in TCOL and they are not a big deal if you never read TCOL, but now I second guess myself and wonder if I should take them out?
Side Note: TCOL is a REALLY GOOD BOOK! And seriously needs to be published. (I feel suddenly vain typing that.) My betas liked it. I had oodles of typos but I think they are all taken care of now. I cut two sex scenes, but if I self-pub they are going back in!
MRJWC is sitting for a little while. The beta is done reading it. She loves my characters! (Yay. Happy dance.) She is going to e-mail her thoughts on it soon and I will see what I may have to tweak. It has only been a first draft and I know I will add a bunch of detail when I go back through. I keep thinking about Ellis and Cole. I think they were fun!
I had another story brewing. I don't have names for my guys yet. One character is good looking, sleep around type. (maybe I use that type too much?) Works a dead-end job. He befriends no-name character #2. This guy is shy, plain/not perfect, virgin (*grin*), insecure, nerdy. I am still working on plot theme and what actually moves the plot forward. I can see some scenes in my head and they kind-of talk to teach other. When they really get going (in my head) is when I will know where to start writing. Name suggestions?
While I am taking a breather from editing MRJWC, I am going to read.
I finished Bear, Otter and the Kid. I am going to pick up Something Like Summer. (I have the paperback.) I also want to finish reading Zero at the Bone and Wicked. A lot of reading a head! If you don't hear from me, I fell asleep with my nose in a book.
ALSO... I mailed my book (paperback, WLINE) in to Lambda Literary Foundation. If you are the praying type, can we all pray they review it? The guy I e-mail said he did receive it and it is being considered for review. You know how people are reluctant and sometimes afraid to read When Love Is Not Enough... Those who take the plunge are often blown away. Pray they (Lambda Lit) are up for the challenge. :)
Cheers,
Wade
Right now, TCOL is with another publisher. (I seriously hope they take it because I don't want to go through the rigamarole of self-pub. I can, and I will, but I don't want to. I was looking into it and there is a LONG list of rules and stuff. I have an idea for a cover and an artist willing to work for me, but really it would be so much easier if a regular publisher just took a shot with me. One of the main reasons is cross-over characters. While My Roommate's a Jock is not a sequel by any means, it does have some of the same characters that are in TCOL. Namely, Darian & Matt but also Darian's friend Sara and her brother... oh what's his name?... oh yeah-ELLIS! I don't know why I did that but I like it when characters do guest appearances on other shows. (rough segue into sit-coms.) Also, when I was writing MRJWC I really thought TCOL was going to be published BEFORE it. Now I am not so sure. Technically TCOL comes chronologically first. There are references to events in TCOL and they are not a big deal if you never read TCOL, but now I second guess myself and wonder if I should take them out?
Side Note: TCOL is a REALLY GOOD BOOK! And seriously needs to be published. (I feel suddenly vain typing that.) My betas liked it. I had oodles of typos but I think they are all taken care of now. I cut two sex scenes, but if I self-pub they are going back in!
MRJWC is sitting for a little while. The beta is done reading it. She loves my characters! (Yay. Happy dance.) She is going to e-mail her thoughts on it soon and I will see what I may have to tweak. It has only been a first draft and I know I will add a bunch of detail when I go back through. I keep thinking about Ellis and Cole. I think they were fun!
I had another story brewing. I don't have names for my guys yet. One character is good looking, sleep around type. (maybe I use that type too much?) Works a dead-end job. He befriends no-name character #2. This guy is shy, plain/not perfect, virgin (*grin*), insecure, nerdy. I am still working on plot theme and what actually moves the plot forward. I can see some scenes in my head and they kind-of talk to teach other. When they really get going (in my head) is when I will know where to start writing. Name suggestions?
While I am taking a breather from editing MRJWC, I am going to read.
I finished Bear, Otter and the Kid. I am going to pick up Something Like Summer. (I have the paperback.) I also want to finish reading Zero at the Bone and Wicked. A lot of reading a head! If you don't hear from me, I fell asleep with my nose in a book.
ALSO... I mailed my book (paperback, WLINE) in to Lambda Literary Foundation. If you are the praying type, can we all pray they review it? The guy I e-mail said he did receive it and it is being considered for review. You know how people are reluctant and sometimes afraid to read When Love Is Not Enough... Those who take the plunge are often blown away. Pray they (Lambda Lit) are up for the challenge. :)
Cheers,
Wade
