Schubert feels better. I know because during his illness, the cat food bowls that dwell in the basement managed to drift close to one another in the way of inanimate objects in a house full of pets and little children....
Problem 1. Solve for Vet, where Vet is X, and Y is a variable that = the number of times you refrained from punching anyone in the face while your poor old skeezixy kitty lost 3 pounds and cried and...
And you, whats-yer-face, you new chick wandering around new Orleans PERPETRATING AMPHIBIOUS KISSING. Ladies, I blame YOU for my girl's dedication to Taylor Swift love songs, her desire to see NEW MOON, and the drawing below: The child is SEVEN....
The true truthful truth is, IF I had a Netbook, THEN I could write this book. A Netbook has FIVE hours of battery life, and I truly believe in my pink heart that in NetBookSpeak, five hours means at LEAST...
Dear Serial Killers and Opossums, Scott is home. You heard me. The window for murdering me in my bed/creeping me out by climbing up my grill to LICK the forgotten meat fork with your disgusting possum-tongue (respectively) has firmly closed....
I have three things to tell you. 1) I feel like any minute I am going to go creep under a house and die like an inconvenient and terminal woodland creature. There I will begin to smell and ruin everyone's...
With Scott out of town, my two biggest problems are 1) I do not sleep 2) I tell everyone on the internet---not just YOU, oh my friends --- but anyone who happens to surf through via a google which could...
I am SO ashamed of my hatefulness yesterday. I did not want to drive at night in the cold rain. I was foul and tiny-hearted and dread-filled. I do not like songs, true, but I forgot how very much I...
May I just say, with Scott out of town for 9 more days, the LUXURIOUS SMACKY-SMOO mouth noises of all my animals as they ENDLESSLY lave at their nether portions are starting to make me INSANE. I have gone to...
I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I SURE DID. I am now going to be SMUG about it, and you will forgive me, because next time I will write about Faily Failsgiving and confess to you all the crap...
