Marie Simas




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Marie Simas

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Member Since
December 2010


I worked as a copywriter for many years, and finally started writing humor essays in 2008. I released my first book in 2009, "Do Tampons Take Your Virginity?"-- the book has done well in the UK (it was the bestselling Kindle humor book for over two months). I now write full-time. I live in Las Vegas with my family. Feel free to send me a message.

Marie Simas hasn't written any blog posts yet.

Average rating: 3.08 · 475 ratings · 43 reviews · 2 distinct works · Similar authors
Do Tampons Take Your Virgin...

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3.15 avg rating — 366 ratings — published 2010 — 3 editions
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Douchebag Roulette

2.84 avg rating — 109 ratings — published 2011 — 5 editions
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* Note: these are all the books on Goodreads for this author. To add more, click here.

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Marie Simas is now following Adam Mansbach's reviews
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“Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.”
David Sedaris
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Barrel Fever by David Sedaris
“If you're looking for sympathy you'll find it between shit and syphilis in the dictionary.”
David Sedaris
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Nickel and Dimed by Barbara Ehrenreich
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This book was written from the viewpoint of an investigative reporter-- that's how it reads. I found it hard to put down, and there were places where I laughed out loud (like the chapter when an employee is mimicking an imaginary crack-pipe). But oth ...more
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Jesus Potter Harry Christ by Derek S. Murphy
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Go the Fuck to Sleep by Adam Mansbach
Go the Fuck to Sleep
by Adam Mansbach (Goodreads Author)
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Hilarious-- humor writing at its best. In case you've been living under a rock for the last few months, this book is a breakout bestseller. It's a children's book designed for adults. Every parent understands what Adam is talking about. You will laug ...more
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No Greater Sacrifice by John C. Stipa
No Greater Sacrifice
by John C. Stipa (Goodreads Author)
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This book is great. It really kept me guessing, and it was exciting the whole way through-- lots of plot twists. Really great writing.
More of Marie's books…
“Human life is a passage - it's simply a crossing to somewhere else. Most people stay on the highway, but some choose to go off-road.

Don't ever be afraid to drive off the road and into the grass. You never know what you might find there. And don't regret your choices. We all make mistakes, and sometimes they'll be huge ones. But don't despair. In the long run you'll travel so far down the road that you won't be able to see those mistakes behind you. Just put one foot in front of the other, and you'll do just fine.”
Marie Simas, Do Tampons Take Your Virginity?: A Catholic Girl's Memoir

“Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.”
David Sedaris

“If you're looking for sympathy you'll find it between shit and syphilis in the dictionary.”
David Sedaris, Barrel Fever: Stories and Essays

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Mysterium May your life be filled with peace and love this holiday season....Deep peace to you and yours.

Pastor Branagain


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