Jarod Kintz

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Jarod Kintz

Goodreads Author


url

born
in Salt Lake City, The United States
March 05, 1982

gender
male

website

twitter username

genre

influences
Monty Python
Jack Handey
Ted Nancy
Steve Martin
Gary Larson
Mark Twain
Oscar
...more

member since
April 2011


About this author

This is it, this is my biography. The story of Jarod Kintz begins now.

Let’s knock out the trivial first. I was born in Salt Lake City on March 5th. Now that you know my birthday, please feel free to get me birthday presents. Notice how I used the plural, presents? More than one gift would be greatly appreciated. Appropriate gifts include gold coins, bars of silver, and large tracts of land (preferably beachfront property). Or you could just buy me a drink—soda, natural, because I don’t drink either alcohol or high fructose corn syrup.

Skipping ahead a few years, and a few hundred miles, we come to Denver, Colorado. For a few years I attended Mackintosh Academy. In the second grade, along with English, I studied French, Spanish, and Japanese
...more


If it’s the last kiss, we’d better make it last. I hope you don’t have anywhere to be, because I have the rest of my life free.

— Jarod Kintz (@JarodKintz1) May 4, 2015
17 likes · Like  •  8 comments  •  flag
Published on May 04, 2015 08:28 • 118 views • Tags: kiss, kissing, relationships
Average rating: 4.13 · 1,306 ratings · 92 reviews · 63 distinct works · Similar authors
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More books by Jarod Kintz…

Upcoming Events

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“If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people.”
Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me

“I consider conversations with people to be mind exercises, but I don't want to pull a muscle, so I stretch a lot. That's why I'm constantly either rolling my eyes or yawning.”
Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me

“I find out a lot about myself by sleeping. Dreams, they are who I am when I’m too tired to be me.”
Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

Polls

What is the best love quote?

You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.Dr. Seuss
 
  156 votes 39.3%

Love is a circular emotion that surrounds you, like a hug. Or a noose.
Jarod Kintz
 
  62 votes 15.6%

Love is like the wind, you can't see it but you can feel it.Nicholas Sparks
 
  62 votes 15.6%

Love seeketh not itself to please, nor for itself hath any care, but for another gives its ease, and builds a Heaven in Hell's despair. ― William Blake (write-in)
 
  36 votes 9.1%

Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.Ambrose Bierce
 
  30 votes 7.6%

"You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel" - Forbidden by Tabitha Sazuma (write-in)
 
  30 votes 7.6%

You can only give your heart away once, after that, everything else will chase your first love. - Tarry Fisher - The Opportunist (write-in)
 
  11 votes 2.8%

"Centrum Permanebit" -The Fiery Heart (write-in)
 
  7 votes 1.8%

Blake (write-in)
 
  3 votes 0.8%

397 total votes
3 comments
More...

Topics Mentioning This Author

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Goodreads Librari...: Policy on Authors adding their own quotes? 112 731 Feb 10, 2014 12:35AM  
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“If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn't have declared their independence from it.”
Stephen Colbert

“When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.”
Mark Twain

“I have left orders to be awakened at any time during national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.”
Ronald Reagan

“If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.”
Dave Barry

“The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.”
Calvin Trillin

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This group is to discuss AWESOME books!!!
More of Jarod’s groups…



Comments (showing 1-47)    post a comment »
dateUp arrow    newest »

message 47: by Jarod

Jarod Kintz Jayne Louise wrote: "Thanks Jarod. Blondie has told me a lot about you, so you know you come highly recommended. X"

:)


message 46: by Jillian

Jillian How did you know I adore being called a maven? Of any kind, really ;-) Thanks for the add into that group :-)

~J


message 45: by Jarod

Jarod Kintz Green Elephant Girl ™ wrote: "Thanks for accepting my friend request :D"

You're very welcome :)


Green Elephant Girl ™ Thanks for accepting my friend request :D


message 43: by Jarod

Jarod Kintz Sasha wrote: "Thank you Jarod.You are a star!:)"

haha thanks Sasha! GLad we are now friends :)


message 42: by Sasha (last edited Oct 27, 2013 02:30PM)

Sasha Thank you Jarod.You are a star!:)


message 41: by Jarod

Jarod Kintz Abhishek wrote: "Thank you so much Mr Kintz for accepting my request, I have been hiding from my boss and reading you at my office when I am pretending to work."

haha I love that!


Abhishek Tewari Thank you so much Mr Kintz for accepting my request, I have been hiding from my boss and reading you at my office when I am pretending to work.


message 39: by Mylene

Mylene Orbase :DDDD


message 38: by Jarod

Jarod Kintz Irin wrote: "thank you for your you quote..you absolutely have a funny bone in your body for sure...keep making everyone smile with your writing.."

Thank you so much, Irin :)


message 37: by Irin

Irin thank you for your you quote..you absolutely have a funny bone in your body for sure...keep making everyone smile with your writing..


Asma Fedosia Hi, Jarod, Thks for the friend invitation.


message 35: by Emily

Emily Thanks for the add!!


Lótë (Iris) Thanks for the add!
Your quotes never fail to ammuse me.
I share them with my sister all the time :)
Your humour is amazing.


message 33: by Grace

Grace No problem! Thanks for the request ^-^


Libertarian Ann ditto, didn't know I had a "style" thanks!


message 31: by Jarod

Jarod Kintz Christine wrote: "Do you have skype?"

Yes indeed. jarod.kintz


Christine Hatfield Do you have skype?


message 29: by Jarod

Jarod Kintz Amanda Joy wrote: "Thanks for sharing that quote. I take all humor very seriously. And thanks for the listening...

(“The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, th..."


haha yes! how've you been?


Amanda Joy Farnsworth Thanks for sharing that quote. I take all humor very seriously. And thanks for the listening...

(“The only gift I have to give, is the ability to receive. If giving is a gift, and it surely is, then my gift to you is to allow you to give to me. 
”)


Christine Hatfield your welcome

do you write books?


Christine Hatfield thanks for being my friend


message 25: by Amy

Amy Hi, Jarod. Hope all is well! :)


Savannah Thank you for the friendship.


Michelle Hey Jarod, thanks for the add :)


message 22: by Graham

Graham Parke Hi, good to have you aboard ;)


message 21: by Jarod

Jarod Kintz Amy wrote: "Hey, Jarod. How's it going? I just thought I'd drop by and say hello and I hope you're having a great weekend. :)"

Life is great! How are you?


message 20: by Amy

Amy Hey, Jarod. How's it going? I just thought I'd drop by and say hello and I hope you're having a great weekend. :)


FabulousRaye That's fabulous! I think I'm turning into my late, German next door neighbor. Her name was Edith and she was a crazy cat lady.


Kelly/yllektra Thanks for adding me! :)


message 17: by Ellen

Ellen Maze Hi Jared! I'm a fan just from your profile info. I put your book on my shelf to-read...
Have a great day!
Ellen


message 16: by S.J.

S.J. Davis Jared! You are hilarious! I look forward to getting to know you much better. Cheers!


message 15: by Nely

Nely Cab Jared,

Thanks for the add, and thanks for the humor to go with my lunch. Loved that interview!

-Nely Cab


message 14: by Becca

Becca Thx for your friendship request...you had it with the Colbert quote!!!


message 13: by Jarod

Jarod Kintz April wrote: "Thanks for the add. My Birthday is March 4th :oP"

yes! beautiful time of year, yes?


message 12: by April

April Thanks for the add. My Birthday is March 4th :oP


message 11: by Lenore

Lenore Thanks for the request. Your bio cracked me up!


message 10: by Susie

Susie Thanks for the friendship! :-)


Shanna Hey! Thanks for the friendship. I liked the picture quotes by the way, I giggled out loud at a few, earning me some funny looks. Just one question, are those tiger slippers? Lol


Jillian Peery Thanks for the add! Have a great day my friend!


message 7: by M.

M. Leighton Thanks for friending me, Jarod:) Sounds like we've got a lot in common. Well the important things anyway, things like Jack Handey and Monty Python:D If you feel the need to share your Deep Thoughts or "bring out your dead," drop me an e-mail. I'm always up for a laugh;)


Tiffany Capozzi Thank you for the friendship!! Tiffany


Veronica Thanks for the friendship.


message 4: by Jarod

Jarod Kintz P. J. wrote: "Thanks for the friendship!"

You're welcome, P.J. How are you?


message 3: by Jarod

Jarod Kintz Patricia wrote: "Thanks for the friendship request, Jarod. I like funny people. LOL."

You're welcome Patricia :) How are you doing today?


Patricia Puddle Thanks for the friendship request, Jarod. I like funny people. LOL.


message 1: by P.J.

P.J. Thanks for the friendship!


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