Andrew Shaffer




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Andrew Shaffer

Goodreads Author


Born
in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, The United States
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Member Since
October 2009

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Andrew Shaffer is the New York Times-bestselling author of the essential survival guide, How to Survive a Sharknado and Other Unnatural Disasters, as well as the forthcoming Ghostbusters tie-in, Ghosts From Our Past: Both Literally and Figuratively: The Study of the Paranormal and the political thriller, The Day of the Donald: Trump Trumps America.

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Andrew Shaffer There is nothing you can do. You'll have to leave him. And the cat. Leave the cat.
Andrew Shaffer Hello, Dorothy. That's an easy question to answer. Yes, I will be your BFF. Best Fox Friends. We'll watch Fox News together, every day and night.…moreHello, Dorothy. That's an easy question to answer. Yes, I will be your BFF. Best Fox Friends. We'll watch Fox News together, every day and night. We'll never stop. O'Reilly, that one white lady, that other white lady--we'll watch them all, consuming their every word with the appetite of Rush Limbaugh at a pill party. Hey...hey--where are you going? Come back! I thought we were going to be BFFs... :((less)
Average rating: 3.56 · 8,828 ratings · 1,967 reviews · 24 distinct works · Similar authors
Fifty-one Shades: A Parody

3.50 avg rating — 2,038 ratings — published 2012
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Great Philosophers Who Fail...

3.51 avg rating — 446 ratings — published 2011 — 5 editions
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Literary Rogues: A Scandalo...

3.53 avg rating — 393 ratings — published 2013 — 4 editions
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How to Survive a Sharknado ...

3.63 avg rating — 395 ratings — published 2014 — 4 editions
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Fifty Shames of Earl Grey

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3.33 avg rating — 2,924 ratings — published 2012 — 21 editions
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The Shelf on the Elf: Holid...

really liked it 4.00 avg rating — 4 ratings — published 2014 — 2 editions
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The Day of the Donald: Trum...

it was amazing 5.00 avg rating — 1 rating
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Fifty First Times: A New Ad...

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3.92 avg rating — 1,865 ratings — published 2014 — 4 editions
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Fic: Why Fanfiction is Taki...

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3.59 avg rating — 351 ratings — published 2013 — 3 editions
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Fifty Writers on Fifty Shad...

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3.61 avg rating — 317 ratings — published 2012 — 4 editions
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Leontine is starting The Bourbon Thief: For the first time in a long while I'm reading a stand-alone. I'm talking years...perhaps even close to a decade!
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The Day of the Donald by Andrew Shaffer
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A tremendous, tremendous book. Hugely entertaining. Five gold stars!
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The Genius Factor by Paul Tobin
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Tea-drinking villains. Giant, invisible pets. What more could you want?
Andrew Shaffer added a photo to the book An Earl Grey Christmas
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Walk Hand In Hand Into Extinction by Christoph Paul
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Riot Most Uncouth by Daniel  Friedman
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The funniest book I've read in years.
More of Andrew's books…
“I like my tea like I like my men,” I say. With the last name “Grey.” But I realize that’s too forward, so I add, “Black.”

He raises an eyebrow.

“I mean, not that I exclusively like black men,” I say, trying to recover. “I like other kinds of tea. And men.”

“Have you ever tasted...white tea, Anna?”
Andrew Shaffer, Fifty-one Shades: A Parody

“As I brush my long, brown hair, the girl in the mirror with blue eyes too big for her head stares back at me. Wait...I don’t have blue eyes! Then I realize I haven’t been looking into the mirror. I’ve been staring at a poster of Kristen Stewart for five minutes. My own hair is actually fine.”
Andrew Shaffer, Fifty-one Shades: A Parody

“My shift isn’t over until six,” I say glumly.

“Hold on,” he says. He pulls a Blackberry from his coat pocket and taps out a text. It buzzes, and he taps out another text before stashing it back in his pocket. “I think you can take the rest of the afternoon off.”

“I only have a week left, but my boss would kill me,” I say.

“I’m your boss, Anna.”

“What do you mean?”

There’s that smile again, the one with all those teeth. “I just bought Walmart,” he says.”
Andrew Shaffer, Fifty-one Shades: A Parody

Topics Mentioning This Author

“You can never be wise and be in love at the same time.”
Bob Dylan

“I like my tea like I like my men,” I say. With the last name “Grey.” But I realize that’s too forward, so I add, “Black.”

He raises an eyebrow.

“I mean, not that I exclusively like black men,” I say, trying to recover. “I like other kinds of tea. And men.”

“Have you ever tasted...white tea, Anna?”
Andrew Shaffer, Fifty-one Shades: A Parody

“My shift isn’t over until six,” I say glumly.

“Hold on,” he says. He pulls a Blackberry from his coat pocket and taps out a text. It buzzes, and he taps out another text before stashing it back in his pocket. “I think you can take the rest of the afternoon off.”

“I only have a week left, but my boss would kill me,” I say.

“I’m your boss, Anna.”

“What do you mean?”

There’s that smile again, the one with all those teeth. “I just bought Walmart,” he says.”
Andrew Shaffer, Fifty-one Shades: A Parody

“No man is an island,” he says. “Islands are made of dirt and rocks and trees. I don’t know any people made of such things. Therefore, people are not islands.”
Andrew Shaffer, Fifty-one Shades: A Parody

“As I brush my long, brown hair, the girl in the mirror with blue eyes too big for her head stares back at me. Wait...I don’t have blue eyes! Then I realize I haven’t been looking into the mirror. I’ve been staring at a poster of Kristen Stewart for five minutes. My own hair is actually fine.”
Andrew Shaffer, Fifty-one Shades: A Parody

106283 MARK TWAIN SOCIETY — 34 members — last activity Dec 02, 2013 08:11PM
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35109 Debut Author Panel Discussion and Q&A — 183 members — last activity Feb 09, 2016 09:31AM
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18164 WORD Book Club — 157 members — last activity Oct 01, 2012 04:07PM
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For readers from Lexington, Kentucky. Discuss what you're reading with your neighbors!
72551 The Original Sinners Book Club — 343 members — last activity Aug 10, 2014 05:24PM
A group for fans of Tiffany Reisz's work. This is a place to discuss the books and characters. Together we can countdown to the next book and share th ...more
220 Goodreads Librarians Group — 60914 members — last activity 0 minutes ago
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Comments (showing 1-4)    post a comment »
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message 4: by Rita

Rita Jett Thanks for friend requesting. Am a fan.
Slugging through fifty shades of shit right now, but looking forward to checking out your parody ebook! Best with everything :)


Andrew Shaffer I voted for you too! ;)


message 2: by G

G Hey, I voted for you in the Independent Book Blogger Awards--you totally deserve to win! My husband and I both enjoy your blog, it always makes us laugh.

Best of luck to you. Maybe we will both win. Ha ha, I won't, but you have a real shot.


Delilah Marvelle Hey Andrew boy! I'm totally shocked we weren't already friends. Thanks for fixing that :)


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