Andrew Shaffer




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Andrew Shaffer

Goodreads Author


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in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, The United States
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member since
October 2009


About this author

Andrew Shaffer is a humorist and author of Syfy's How to Survive a Sharknado (Three Rivers Press) and Fifty Shames of Earl Grey (Da Capo Press). He has appeared as a guest on FOX News, CBS, and NPR, and has been published in Mental Floss, Maxim, and The Daily Beast, among others.


Fifty First Timesis a collection of fictional short stories from variety of published Young Adult, New Adult, and Adult Romance authors (including Julie Cross, Sophie Jordan, Carrie Ryan, Lyla Payne, Andrew Shaffer, and Roni Loren) aimed at a New Adult audience. Each story magnifies a moment in two characters’ lives that shows the reader their decision to take physical intimacy to a new level,...

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Published on February 05, 2014 10:39 • 37 views
Average rating: 3.50 · 4,686 ratings · 1,295 reviews · 16 distinct works · Similar authors
Fifty-one Shades: A Parody
3.56 of 5 stars 3.56 avg rating — 1,708 ratings — published 2012
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Great Philosophers Who Fail...
3.54 of 5 stars 3.54 avg rating — 330 ratings — published 2011 — 3 editions
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Literary Rogues: A Scandalo...
3.51 of 5 stars 3.51 avg rating — 243 ratings — published 2013 — 3 editions
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Fifty Shames of Earl Grey (...
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3.33 of 5 stars 3.33 avg rating — 1,913 ratings — published 2012 — 14 editions
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How to Survive a Sharknado ...
0.0 of 5 stars 0.00 avg rating — 0 ratings — expected publication 2014 — 3 editions
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Fifty First Times: A New Ad...
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3.9 of 5 stars 3.90 avg rating — 321 ratings — published 2014 — 3 editions
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Fifty Writers on Fifty Shad...
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3.66 of 5 stars 3.66 avg rating — 171 ratings — published 2012 — 3 editions
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Fic: Why Fanfiction is Taki...
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3.48 of 5 stars 3.48 avg rating — 92 ratings — published 2013 — 2 editions
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An Earl Grey Christmas
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3.11 of 5 stars 3.11 avg rating — 36 ratings — published 2012
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The Telltale Hardon
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3.75 of 5 stars 3.75 avg rating — 20 ratings — published 2012
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Andrew's Recent Updates

Alicia
Alicia is 85% done with Fifty First Times: Bunga Bunga by Andrew Shaffer: soooo, do they get together or not?
"Hi Sinners! My other half Andrew Shaffer has a story in FIFTY FIRST TIMES, a New Adult anthology from Avon (edited by Julie Cross). I'm giving away a SIGNED copy of FIFTY FIRST TIMES (signed by Andrew) PLUS a teaser from Nora's first time with ..." Read more of this blog post »
Andrew Shaffer is now a fan of Goodreads Author Sara Benincasa and Kurt Vonnegut
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by Sara Benincasa (Goodreads Author)
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Great.
The Sober Truth by Lance Dodes
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A dry read.
"March 15th - The Ides of March - is Mistress Nora's Birthday! In honor of her birthday (and in lieu of spankings), I posted a teaser for THE SAINT on my website. Cast Nora/Eleanor, age 16 Søren/Father Stearns, age 29 Esther, age unknown Read ..." Read more of this blog post »
"My dirty rom-com MISBEHAVING, a novella from Cosmo's Red Hot Reads, is out today! If you like the following you might enjoy MISBEHAVING: -butt sex jokes -lots of sex -bellhops behaving oddly -modern Shakespeare retellings -silliness -more butt s..." Read more of this blog post »
Andrew Shaffer is now following Helene Wecker's reviews
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The Golem and the Jinni by Helene Wecker
The Golem and the Jinni
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Magical.
More of Andrew's books…
“I like my tea like I like my men,” I say. With the last name “Grey.” But I realize that’s too forward, so I add, “Black.”

He raises an eyebrow.

“I mean, not that I exclusively like black men,” I say, trying to recover. “I like other kinds of tea. And men.”

“Have you ever tasted...white tea, Anna?”
Andrew Shaffer, Fifty-one Shades: A Parody

“As I brush my long, brown hair, the girl in the mirror with blue eyes too big for her head stares back at me. Wait...I don’t have blue eyes! Then I realize I haven’t been looking into the mirror. I’ve been staring at a poster of Kristen Stewart for five minutes. My own hair is actually fine.”
Andrew Shaffer, Fifty-one Shades: A Parody

Stop it, girl. There’s no way he’s five-years-old. Or one hundred. He’s probably like every other CEO on the planet: Late twenties, handsome in that geeky sort of way, and just as awkward as you. I breathe a sigh of relief, because I know I’m probably right.”
Andrew Shaffer, Fifty-one Shades: A Parody
tags: humor

Topics Mentioning This Author

“You can never be wise and be in love at the same time.”
Bob Dylan

“I like my tea like I like my men,” I say. With the last name “Grey.” But I realize that’s too forward, so I add, “Black.”

He raises an eyebrow.

“I mean, not that I exclusively like black men,” I say, trying to recover. “I like other kinds of tea. And men.”

“Have you ever tasted...white tea, Anna?”
Andrew Shaffer, Fifty-one Shades: A Parody

“My shift isn’t over until six,” I say glumly.

“Hold on,” he says. He pulls a Blackberry from his coat pocket and taps out a text. It buzzes, and he taps out another text before stashing it back in his pocket. “I think you can take the rest of the afternoon off.”

“I only have a week left, but my boss would kill me,” I say.

“I’m your boss, Anna.”

“What do you mean?”

There’s that smile again, the one with all those teeth. “I just bought Walmart,” he says.”
Andrew Shaffer, Fifty-one Shades: A Parody
tags: humour

“No man is an island,” he says. “Islands are made of dirt and rocks and trees. I don’t know any people made of such things. Therefore, people are not islands.”
Andrew Shaffer, Fifty-one Shades: A Parody

“As I brush my long, brown hair, the girl in the mirror with blue eyes too big for her head stares back at me. Wait...I don’t have blue eyes! Then I realize I haven’t been looking into the mirror. I’ve been staring at a poster of Kristen Stewart for five minutes. My own hair is actually fine.”
Andrew Shaffer, Fifty-one Shades: A Parody

106283 MARK TWAIN SOCIETY — 38 members — last activity Dec 02, 2013 08:11PM
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." -Mark Twain A candid discussion of books and reviews in the YA/NA/Romance genres. A safe...more
72511 Sinners & Sirens - A Tiffany Reisz Fan Club — 682 members — last activity Apr 15, 2014 07:58AM
Do you love the works of Tiffany Reisz? Can't get enough of her brand of edgy, alluring erotica and BDSM? Then this is the place for you.
31471 Goodreads Author Feedback Group — 4813 members — last activity 21 minutes ago
This is the official group for authors to give Goodreads feedback about the site, including the Goodreads Author Program, Author Q&A Groups, the newsl...more
35109 Debut Author Panel Discussion and Q&A — 183 members — last activity Jul 04, 2013 09:43AM
From July 12 to July 18, these authors will be discussing their experiences as debut fiction authors. Each day, they will tackle a different question...more
18164 WORD Book Club — 81 members — last activity Oct 01, 2012 04:07PM
For book lovers who participate in WORD's monthly book club, at our store in Greenpoint, Brooklyn.
40208 Bookalicious — 54 members — last activity Aug 08, 2011 08:30PM
The Bookalicious blog appears in Erica Ehm's awesome ezine Yummy Mummy Club. Wanda Lynne Young aka Bookalicious loves to share good reads and great gi...more
51803 Lexington Reads — 525 members — last activity Apr 11, 2014 06:56PM
For readers from Lexington, Kentucky. Discuss what you're reading with your neighbors!
72551 The Original Sinners Book Club — 306 members — last activity Mar 17, 2014 01:35PM
A group for fans of Tiffany Reisz's work. This is a place to discuss the books and characters. Together we can countdown to the next book and share th...more
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Comments (showing 1-4)    post a comment »
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message 4: by Rita

Rita Jett Thanks for friend requesting. Am a fan.
Slugging through fifty shades of shit right now, but looking forward to checking out your parody ebook! Best with everything :)


Andrew Shaffer I voted for you too! ;)


message 2: by G

G Hey, I voted for you in the Independent Book Blogger Awards--you totally deserve to win! My husband and I both enjoy your blog, it always makes us laugh.

Best of luck to you. Maybe we will both win. Ha ha, I won't, but you have a real shot.


Delilah Marvelle Hey Andrew boy! I'm totally shocked we weren't already friends. Thanks for fixing that :)


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