Deborah Bryan's Blog, page 2

April 24, 2016

My computer deskshattered out of the blue this morning.

brokendesk1

My computer, Sancho the Second, briefly dangled inches above masses of shattered safety glass.

Because I’ve been doing lots of relaxation exercises recently, I simply said, “Huh. Darn,” and got to cleaning.

I’ve spent much of the day since tidying and organizing, including placing my happily-still-functionalSancho on the filing cabinet currently serving as my makeshift desk.

As my husband walked out the door moments ago, he gazed at San...

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Published on April 24, 2016 16:21 • 1 view

April 21, 2016

As an introvert, meetings often exhaust me.

Today I attended a rare meeting that invigorated me without the corresponding exhaustion.

The meeting was only five minutes, which helped, but my joy was about more than un-meeting minutes.

One colleague explained what he’d accomplished since our last meeting. He expressed regret that he hadn’t finished everything yet.

A teammate I greatly admire, C, countered that with a simple upbeat statement that blew me away: “What I’m hearing is progress–it’s...

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Published on April 21, 2016 12:38 • 1 view

April 18, 2016

I held
my sister’s hand
on her sofa in Portland
(and also Metropolis)
as we finished watching
The Man of Steel

I thought how
wondrous it is how
we humans create
such marvelous
fictional problems,
and (often)
even
better
solutions

Where filmmakers
and authors fail,
others offer
alternatives,
numbering
dozens,
hundreds,
and even thousands

How hopeful!

We humans
are good at
creating problems
but we are also
innovative
about resolving them,
politics usually excluded

Recently
I have fought
anxiety...

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Published on April 18, 2016 12:53 • 1 view

April 14, 2016

Last night I found a bag I’d long ago forgotten was mine.

Needed an extra backpack; considered (aloud) using my work one. “Or you could use your old one,” Anthony said. “My old one?” “Yeah,” he said, gesturing toward a small black bag I’d thought was David’s. Dubious, I opened it and found … keepsakes from my 32nd birthday! I’ll keep the towel, but by now it’s best to skip those glucose tablets and lip glosses, methinks.[image error]

After my little ones were asleep, I pulled out the old purse journal I’d...

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Published on April 14, 2016 19:47 • 1 view

April 13, 2016

A woman
with close-cropped
silver hair
runs in
the shade
of trees
lining one side
of my company’s
campus

Her running attire
makes me grin:
A skirt suit and
a pair of
sneakers

As she finishes
this part of her run,
waiting to cross the street
back to her office complex,
she catches me watching her
and turns her head away
quickly before
booking it
across the street

I hope she saw in my smile
not “How weird!”
but “Heck, yeah!”

If I see her running again,
I’ll thank her for
inspiring me
to know mo...

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Published on April 13, 2016 12:26 • 1 view

April 10, 2016

“Let me wash the dishes,” my husband said over my shoulder yesterday morning.

“Naw,” I replied, continuing to scrub. “This is zen washing.”

“You need a sign,” he told me as he left the kitchen.

I contemplated that as I keptscrubbing. Do I really need a sign? I wondered. I feel like the distinction between my two types of washing is pretty obvious.

There’s the zen kind that’s pretty sweet. I could zen wash dishes for hours.

Mmmmm.

Mmmmm.

Then there’s the other kind of dishwashing. The why-can’t-one-...

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Published on April 10, 2016 20:38 • 1 view

April 8, 2016

A few days ago, my friend Ra wrote “you choose your choices.”

It’s the kind of thing I read and realize I have too many words no words only one word for:thud.

When I first read about howRaand her husband used the word, I thought something like, “I appreciate the loving use of this word-like object, but it is not a real word and it will never escape my lips or fingertips!”

(Really, though, it wasn’t too silly and small. It was too big and too raw, this single syllable capable of saying so much...

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Published on April 08, 2016 17:38 • 1 view

April 6, 2016

Sweet seven-year-old Deborah,

You never deserved
to be beaten, or
to hear your
siblings’ cries
as they were beaten.

You should never
have had to memorize
catalogues of warning cues:
dangerously heavy footfalls,
the angry set of a mouth,
the escalating tension
in the voice of a
parent about
to snap.

You shouldn’t have had
to walk on eggshells,
wheedle, or cajole
when you saw
(and heard)
the warning signs.

You should never
have had to
expect
abuse.

Recently
I have noticed
how my heart still r...

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Published on April 06, 2016 12:48 • 1 view

April 3, 2016

If we were having coffee, you’d find me all smiles as I sipped my sparkling water.

After listening intently to your recounting of what’s been up with and what’s ahead for you, I’d pause for a moment to consider where to begin. Is chronological best, or should I take some other route to explaining why I’m smiling so?

I’d land on my son’s birthdayas a springboard into explaining everything.

Littler J turned two on Friday. (How’d that even happen?I’d say with a puzzled glance.I just brought him...

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Published on April 03, 2016 07:50 • 1 view

April 1, 2016

Two years
and three hours ago,
I met my littlest boy
on the tenth anniversary
of my meeting his dad.

I thought,
“No problemo,
I already have one
great kid, so this will
be a piece of cake!”

(As if two souls
could be exactly alike,
and Littler was just
another Li’l … )

The last two years
(and three hours)
have involved a steep
learning curve,
for Littler is not just
a smaller Li’l, and
there is less of me
all around
to go around.

I have often
asked myself how
my own mom could
raise four kids b...

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Published on April 01, 2016 04:58 • 1 view