M.T. McGuire's Blog
July 8, 2014
First up, I’d like to thank the host of brave souls who have started following this blog recently. I really appreciate it and I apologise that I haven’t been able to pop over and visit everyone back. The spirit is willing but, as those of you who have been reading this blog regularly for a while will know, my life is a bit chaotic.
However, while I freely admit that my general organisational life plan seems to be reactive – as in lurching from one oh-shit-did-I-forget-to-do-that crisis to another – I feel that today there were mitigating circumstances. The Chaos Fairies were with me. I was very organised this morning, I dropped off McMini and put a wash on nice and early. The first inkling that the Chaos Fairies had turned up was when, after about an hour I went back to see if the washing was done and discovered the machine had switched itself off.
Dan dan daaaaaah. It was an old machine and I kind of thought this.
Yeeeeeeek! (Yeh yeh. Eyebomb, therefore eye am.
Luckily it was only the plug. I fixed it. No more harm done than an hour of sunlight and drying time dropped.
A few moments later I returned to my computer to start on my to do list. I managed a couple of things. Booyacka! Then, while my anti-virus programme updated itself I planned the flyers and bookmarks I was going to make.
When I tried to open my dtp programme I discovered that my anti-virus had taken the unilateral decision to quarantine the executable file. I couldn’t get it out so I had to reinstall. Then it decided that the latest update of flash was also malware. Then I switched it off file checking and left it to look at e-mails and the internet stuff. I should probably look into that one sometime. In the meantime I’ve managed one book mark and trust me, it was a major achievement.
So I trundled off to collect McMini having pretty much blasted my only day to work this week into nothing. The handlebars had come loose on my bike and were wobbling about. Luckily it was just a case of them moving up or down rather than turning while the wheel stayed pointing straight on but it was… odd.
On the up side. I found the shoes I wanted to wear – which I haven’t been able to find all week – stacked neatly among McOther’s. What the hell was I doing when I put those away? Perhaps the Chaos Fairies felt a little bit guilty and pointed me in the right direction. Or maybe not.
However, it’s probably going some when you come close to forgetting about the launch of your own book. Which is on Saturday by the way. Gulp. Yep, as usual my effort to effect a smooth, ritzy launch is a complete shambles. I’ll be clicking publish on Amazon slightly early, for the ebook, for the simple reason that I will only have patchy access to the internet from Friday morning onwards and it would be a pity if it didn’t appear on the day it was supposed to. If you want to make sure you get your copy it is available to pre-order in all formats pretty much everywhere except in the case of the ebook on Amazon. Phnark.
Never mind. It’s not all shambolic. I do have a signing coming up in Diss, just down the road in Norfolk. Details coming soon.
Right then. For now, here’s a list of the places where you can get hold of an advance copy of Looking For Trouble.
The cover of Looking For Trouble
To preorder multiple formats – as they become available – click on the links.
June 23, 2014
I have been very tardy with this one but my good friend, fellow member of the Gumbee Fantasy Authors’ Guild and also, fellow Petrolhead, Will Macmillan Jones has been kind enough to let me witter on about my books, my theories on economic stability and all sorts of other cobblers, on his blog.
So Will, a belated thank you, and everyone, Will does write a cracker of a blog post so pop over to say hello and do have a look around his blog. You can find the article here.
And if anyone’s come here from there the books page I mentioned, and cleverly forgot to give you the link for is here.
June 20, 2014
As many of you probably know, there’s a little bit, in WordPress, that tells you what people typed into their search engines to get to your blog. I’ve just been looking at fellow Gumbee Writers’ Guild author, Jim Webster’s latest post about the absurd things people type to get to his – apparently it’s a big favourite with people looking for Marks & Spencers knickers.
Boringly, most of the people who come here have either typed a variant of “why do so few UK agents handle sci-fi and fantasy” into their search engine and come up with this post or they’re actually looking for me. Or at least, they were. After reading Jim’s post I had a quick look at my stats and this is what I found.
the beebatron cbbeis, the beebatron tardis
Excellent. Yes, random person, I can confirm that I, too, have noticed that the Beebatron which was on CBeebies a while back, was the old 1970s Tardis control console. Did you also notice that it then went on to be come Riff the dog’s mixing desk in Carrie and David’s pop shop.
Second: snurd, phn erotcia ah ah ah oh
Yeeeeeees. That one’s a bit of a worry.
The word “snurd” didn’t mean anything when I came up with the concept but I have checked the Urban Dictionary since and discovered that “snurd” is also a contraction of “snotty little turd”. Which, in itself, is quite interesting.
Tangental Hint: the Urban Dictionary is kind of like Rogers’ Profanisaurus – only a bit more serious. However, if you write any kind of spec fic it’s always worth checking it out before you name anyone or anything. You don’t want to discover that your hero’s monika is also the slang term for one of those loud honk-like farts that sounds as if someone’s dragging a table across the floor of the room above. I didn’t know about the Urban Dictionary when I started out. That’s why I have a race of bad guys called the slang term for a fellow who has one ball that hangs considerably lower than the other.
So there you have it. The Urban Dictionary: gold. Now then, where was I? Ah yes…
What all this illustrates to me is two things: First, what we write on the web can be taken very differently to the way in which it is meant. Second, it’s going to be there for a very long time. Your views my change, your outlook may mellow but that rabid rant you posted in 2008 will be with you always. This thought crystallised further when I opened my second blog alert this morning and found this article about whether or not agents google the writers who query them: short answer, they do.
Today’s advice, then. Think twice before you speak on the net, especially if you’re an author. Think extremely hard before you make any flippant remarks at anyone else’s expense or anything that might paint you as mean or vacuous or prejudiced. Remember, if you’re prone to bitch about publishers and agents, that if you ever want to work with them one day, they’re going to check you out. They’re going to read everything you’re saying now. So think, my lovely peps. Otherwise, hitting that ‘post’ button, or publishing that book, could constitute several high-calibre rounds to the foot.
June 16, 2014
I’ve travelled to another blog to write today’s post… So if you want to discover the connection between inter-galactic church travel and marketing books, I’m afraid you’ll have to click again and visit my excellent friend Seumas Gallacher, here. In fact, please do.
Seumas is a bit of a success story having sold 70,000 copies of his books – which is about 69,900 more than I have so obviously, I’m in awe. Since I’m not usually invited anywhere – except back to apologise – I’m also feeling pretty honoured to be guesting on his blog.
Seumas writes a very good blog, btw. He talks an awful lot of sense with a Scottish accent – he’s from Govern – think Billy Connolly and you have it about right. I can thoroughly recommend his blog and one of his books – I haven’t read the others yet. So yeh, do pop over there. I can recommend it.
June 12, 2014
Well, OK, not entrails. Moving on.
Big is the order of the day, it seems. Our garden has been surprisingly free of random cats this week, not because of Harrison, who hasn’t had his shots and isn’t allowed out yet. Nope, not Harrison but because of a new random cat arrival.
Big Merv, as I am calling him is a monster of about the size and build I’d expect from the Beast of Bolsover. A true juggernaught of a cat, he is a little lardy but mostly he is just built like a brick shit house. He is a dark brown tabby with a white tummy which he likes to show me at every available opportunity. He is clearly very loved by someone somewhere because he’s a sweetie. He’s also confident, placid and yeh. Huge.
Meanwhile this morning, I encountered another enormity. With the preparation of a birthday cake in the offing I went to the market to buy some extra eggs. Naturally, I went for extra large, in which there was this.
Yes. That’s a chicken egg on the right, the one with the terrible wart. And the one on the left? Well, believe it or not that’s a chicken egg too. All I can say is, I sure wouldn’t want to meet that chicken – and if she’s normal chicken sized then all I can say is, boy, she must have been screaming for an epidural. I bet she was in a bit of a scramble, eggcetera, eggcetera. [no more eggscorable egg jokes: ed]
So here’s hoping that all this bigness of eggs and cats is an omen for big success for the K’Barthan Trilogy… says she, jemmying in a buy-my-book reference with a large crowbar. Ooooof, kadang. Ouch, my toe.
Feel free to buy my books, if you want to and if you already have, thank you. And if you enjoyed them, feel free to tell your friends and/or leave a review in as many places as you like. And thank you to those of you who did.
In the meantime, Book 3 of the K’Barthan Trilogy is out today. I’m afraid it isn’t the last one. There are four books in it. Yes, I count like Baldrick. But there you go. If you’d like to purchase it, you can do so in these places:
In e-book format from…
In Paperback format from…
The back cover of One Man: No Plan by M T McGuire
June 3, 2014
Picture taken in the few moments available when the cat was not in the box with them. He was busy killing some of the packaging on the floor at this point.
And just a reminder… it is available for pre-order in multiple formats at Smashwords and as an epub at Kobo.
The ebook should go live at Amazon on 12th June, at or around 9.00 a.m. GMT.
May 27, 2014
One Man: No Plan is finally available for pre-order on some sites: Kobo and Smashwords so far, B&N and Apple soon. Amazon does not do a pre-order service so, Ammyphiles, I’m sorry, but you’ll just have to hang on.
It will be available in paperback and in all digital formats, everywhere, on the launch date: 12 June, 2014.
So, the main points again:
One Man: No Plan is on target for release in paperback and e-book on 12 June, 2014.
And although Amazon does not support advance ordering for my print books, either, you can pre-order your print copy from the Book Depository, here.
OR… you can check this page for seller links – each site will be added as the links go live…
May 25, 2014
It’s been a bit too long since I posted anything on my blog. I have a box 010 post owing and heaven knows what else but there may be a bit of a hiatus until after I’ve launched both books… not that I have much time to launch both books.
You know about the old dears; Dad came out of hospital on Friday. And it’s half term this week, so I won’t be doing much writing related stuff for the next few days, either. Just to complicate things we have also adopted a rescue cat. He is just coming up for 10 weeks old as I write and in the words of the vet he is “a bit of a monster”. Not in temperament, he is a poppet, if he sticks his claws in, you just mewl like a kitten in pain and he withdraws them at once. He’s gentle, loving and a real character. In short, well, in his case it’s more like, long, he is great fun but he is absolutely bat-shit crazy. He is also at least a foot long, about 18 inches if I include his head as well, with enormous feet and ears…. which, as the vet explained, he’s going to grow into.
He was already named before we got him: Harrison, after George (his mother was Beatle and his brothers were Lennon and McCartney). He answers to Harrison, as well, so we’re stuck with it. With those ears, we’d quite like to call him Spock but it’s not going to happen. He’s great fun but he also takes up a lot of time. If we want him to be a people cat there has to be lots of interaction from the get go.
So, without more ado, here he is: Harrison. My latest distraction.
Harrison has two settings: On.
Obviously, ‘off’ is the easier of the two states to photograph. He moves extremely quickly.
May 15, 2014
May 11, 2014
Thanks so much for the well wishing and support.
Yes, the oldster is OK. He will be in hospital for a while and there’ll need to be rehab and big changes at home. That isn’t such a bad thing. In fact, some good may well have come out of this. Dad can go back home. However, when he does there will need to be a lot more care, possibly 24 hour round the clock, care; for both of them. That may sound bad but I think it’s what they’ve needed for a long time.
So a lot of relief all round.