Justin Halpern's Blog

November 11, 2010

"No. I want the salad...Live a little? I'm ordering lunch. I don't have a choice between salad or fucking skydiving."
14 likes ·   •  0 comments  •  flag
Twitter icon
Published on November 11, 2010 12:22 • 874 views

November 9, 2010

Sorry, shit my dad says got hacked. My dad isn't trying to sell you a crappy lap top, I promise. Don't open any links.
 •  0 comments  •  flag
Twitter icon
Published on November 09, 2010 19:44 • 181 views

October 28, 2010

"He's a politician. It's like being a hooker. You can't be one unless you can pretend to like people while you're fucking them."
2 likes ·   •  1 comment  •  flag
Twitter icon
Published on October 28, 2010 10:31 • 430 views

October 7, 2010

"You don't have to be good to succeed. You just gotta be the least shitty option. Example: We're eating at The Olive Garden."

2 likes ·   •  0 comments  •  flag
Twitter icon
Published on October 07, 2010 12:07 • 165 views

September 17, 2010

"You came out of your mom looking like shit. She thought you were beautiful. Don't know what scared me most, your looks or her judgment."

2 likes ·   •  0 comments  •  flag
Twitter icon
Published on September 17, 2010 09:51 • 147 views

August 30, 2010

"Put the rake down. I don't wanna sit around watching you 'give it your best.' Either stop sucking or get the fuck out of the way."
1 like ·   •  0 comments  •  flag
Twitter icon
Published on August 30, 2010 09:54 • 165 views

August 7, 2010

"See, you think I give a shit. Wrong. In fact, while you talk, I'm thinking; How can I give less of shit? That's why I look interested."
1 like ·   •  0 comments  •  flag
Twitter icon
Published on August 07, 2010 14:33 • 137 views

July 19, 2010

"Invite them. A wedding is a loaded gun. Don't be the asshole staring down the barrel asking which button makes the boom noise."
 •  0 comments  •  flag
Twitter icon
Published on July 19, 2010 09:17 • 122 views

June 28, 2010

"Don't focus on the one guy who hates you. You don't go to the park and set your picnic down next to the only pile of dog shit."
 •  0 comments  •  flag
Twitter icon
Published on June 28, 2010 09:41 • 167 views

June 17, 2010

"Engagement rings are pointless. Indians gave cows...Oh sorry, congrats on proposing. We good now? Can I finish my indian story?"
 •  0 comments  •  flag
Twitter icon
Published on June 17, 2010 08:35 • 263 views

Justin Halpern's Blog

Justin Halpern
Justin Halpern isn't a Goodreads Author (yet), but he does have a blog, so here are some recent posts imported from his feed.
Follow Justin Halpern's blog with rss.