Derek Haines

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Derek Haines

Goodreads author profile


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born
February 05, 1956 in Northam WA, Australia

gender
male

website

twitter username

genre

influences

member since
November 2009


About this author

Writer, storyteller, Aussie and Swiss.

An author of fiction, historical fiction, YA, essays and poetry, Derek Haines writes his books from a view of what fascinates him and not from a formula based on one theme or genre. Starting with poetry before moving into essays and fiction novels, his writing is varied but is always written in a style and voice that communicates with, and engages his readers.

Most of all, the stories told by Derek Haines are about people, their feelings, regrets, hopes and struggles with life. Ordinary people, but with extraordinary qualities that makes their story worth telling. With splashes of sometimes black humour or simple satire, his stories can develop from the simplistic to the complex and back again leaving t...more


editorI can’t help but noticing a new plague on social media related to writing and books. The number of people professing to be competent editors seems to be increasing exponentially every day. Well, why not? If you have tried writing and have failed, why not diversify and try to make a quick buck by becoming an editor? You know the old saying, ‘If you can’t do it, teach or preach it.’


Now this may s...

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Published on May 29, 2012 11:30 • 3 views
Average rating: 4.10 · 115 ratings · 59 reviews · 14 distinct works
February The Fifth
4.25 of 5 stars 4.25 avg rating — 24 ratings — published 2010 — 3 editions
My rating:
didn't like it it was ok liked it really liked it it was amazing
add to my books
Vandalism Of Words
3.29 of 5 stars 3.29 avg rating — 28 ratings3 editions
My rating:
didn't like it it was ok liked it really liked it it was amazing
add to my books
Milo Moon
4.3 of 5 stars 4.30 avg rating — 10 ratings — published 2010 — 3 editions
My rating:
didn't like it it was ok liked it really liked it it was amazing
add to my books
Loss, Limbo, Life & Love
4.38 of 5 stars 4.38 avg rating — 8 ratings — published 2009 — 3 editions
My rating:
didn't like it it was ok liked it really liked it it was amazing
add to my books
Louis
4.33 of 5 stars 4.33 avg rating — 9 ratings — published 2010 — 3 editions
My rating:
didn't like it it was ok liked it really liked it it was amazing
add to my books
Hal
4.71 of 5 stars 4.71 avg rating — 7 ratings — published 2011 — 3 editions
My rating:
didn't like it it was ok liked it really liked it it was amazing
add to my books
Nobody's Fault
4.71 of 5 stars 4.71 avg rating — 7 ratings — published 2009 — 3 editions
My rating:
didn't like it it was ok liked it really liked it it was amazing
add to my books
Dead Men
4.43 of 5 stars 4.43 avg rating — 7 ratings — published 2011 — 3 editions
My rating:
didn't like it it was ok liked it really liked it it was amazing
add to my books
My Take Away Vampire
3.8 of 5 stars 3.80 avg rating — 5 ratings — published 2011
My rating:
didn't like it it was ok liked it really liked it it was amazing
add to my books
Vandalism Too
4.5 of 5 stars 4.50 avg rating — 4 ratings — published 2011 — 2 editions
My rating:
didn't like it it was ok liked it really liked it it was amazing
add to my books
More books by Derek Haines…

Upcoming Events

No scheduled events. Add an event.

Dead End (Drama)
1 chapters   —   updated Feb 19, 2012 02:08pm
Description: A look at one man's impending demise.
The Brotherhood (Current Project) (Science Fiction & Fantasy)
1 chapters   —   updated Feb 19, 2012 02:05pm
Description: The third episode in the story of Gloth.

Derek's Recent Updates


A Game of Proof

Sarah Newby became pregnant in the back of a Ford Cortina at the age of 15. She left school to bring up her son as a single parent... read more »
10083118
"Glad you enjoyed it Jim. :) "
February The Fifth by Derek Haines
" Great fun read and thoroughly enjoyed. Even tripping over some of the names used made me laugh. "
Derek Haines gave 5 of 5 stars false to:
Globular Van der Graff's Goblin Tales for Adults by Jack Eason
Globular Van der Graff's Goblin Tales for Adults
by Jack Eason (Goodreads Author)
read in May, 2012
My rating:
didn't like it it was ok liked it really liked it it was amazing
add to my books
From the very first story I was hooked, and for some reason, the style Jack Eason uses in this book had me thinking immediately of Geoffrey Chaucer meeting Mother Goose. It's a beautifully crafted story book that will delight any reader. In particula...more
Septimity - The Blood Brotherhood by Derek Haines
" Just downloading it! Cant wait to read Dereks new baby... What a gifted man... "
13444941
"Thank you Natalie!!! :) "
The Vandal by Derek Haines
" Derak has done it again I love it! "
Derek Haines added:
Septimity - The Blood Brotherhood by Derek Haines
My rating:
didn't like it it was ok liked it really liked it it was amazing
add to my books
Derek Haines made a comment on his profile
2919244
"Big FREE book give away on Kindle this weekend. Three books for FREE!! Grab your copies!!! HAL Milo Moon Dead Men

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004X6UMCS
ht...more
"
13549975
"Thanks for your fantastic review Mary. I'm so happy to hear you enjoyed Bonnie's tale. :) "
More of Derek's books…
“Women only want what they don't have. Men want what they can't have.”
Derek Haines

“There's a good reason I am a writer. I'm completely useless at anything else.”
Derek Haines

“While some waste their time looking for the meaning of life, there are others who understand there is none and just get on enjoying the space they are renting.”
Derek Haines, Hal

Topics Mentioning This Author

topics posts views last activity  
M/M Romance: Non-M/M Free Book Offers 1411 435 3 hours, 31 min ago  
Reading with Style: * Reading w/Style Completed Tasks -Spring 2012 998 138 1 hour, 57 min ago  
“He was a dreamer, a thinker, a speculative philosopher... or, as his wife would have it, an idiot.”
Douglas Adams

“I don't have an occupation. Only a preoccupation.”
Derek Haines

“There's a good reason I am a writer. I'm completely useless at anything else.”
Derek Haines

“I don’t like Wednesdays.”
Derek Haines, Milo Moon

“Women only want what they don't have. Men want what they can't have.”
Derek Haines

41881 Q&A with Derek Haines — 9 members — last activity Jan 03, 2011 01:46am
What does it mean to be 'Indie'. The taboos have gone, so where to from here?
41636 Read This Next! — 111 members — last activity Apr 13, 2012 01:11pm
Inspired by the book Read This Next by Sandra Newman and Howard Mittelmark. A selection of must read books and discussions. * Please do not post advert...more
33611 Make a book a bestseller — 917 members — last activity Apr 21, 2012 07:11am
If a bunch of people can get Betty White to host Saturday Night Live seems like we can make a great book(s) a bestseller.
2740 Language & Grammar — 1259 members — last activity 22 minutes ago
This group is for word lovers and has topics both serious (grammatical questions and concerns) and not so serious (word play and word games of all sor...more



Comments (showing 4-53)    post a comment »

message 53: by Derek (last edited May 05, 2012 06:44am)

Derek Haines Big FREE book give away on Kindle this weekend. Three books for FREE!! Grab your copies!!! HAL Milo Moon Dead Men

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004X6UMCS
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B003ICWF1O
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004RVBM1Y


message 52: by Derek

Derek Haines Sadly I just discovered that Goodreads limits friends to 5,000 so as I have reached this number, I can't accept new friend requests. :(


message 51: by Derek

Derek Haines One Last Love

For the romance lovers, One Last Love is finally out there on Kindle. The paperback will be coming in a few weeks. But of course, it's a Derek Haines story, so expect it to be different.


Volatalistic Phil Indeed it has. For you it must be a gigantic mess because all of your publications. I wonder what prompted the change.


message 49: by Derek

Derek Haines So it would seem that Goodreads disconnection with Amazon has made a proper mess of book covers now.


message 48: by Derek

Derek Haines I have been on Goodreads a long time, but really I'm getting fed up with the amount of invitations to these stupid 'events'! It's really becoming a pain. Please take your events and have them somewhere else, with someone else!

To a grumpy old author, an event is where there is free drinks and nibbley things. So if you're not offering this, these are not events, they are quite honestly just spam.


message 47: by Malithi

Malithi Hey,,,Thanks for adding me


message 46: by Derek

Derek Haines I just gave one of my own books a bummer 3 star review. Now is that honesty, or what?


message 45: by Derek

Derek Haines Vandalism of Words

This book has gone 'Viral' on Kindle today!! Amazon have made it FREE. Well over 1,000 downloads in the last 6 hours. Get your copy while it's FREE!
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B003ZYFCY2


message 44: by Pixie

Pixie Hello!
Thank you for the friendship. :)

Pixie


message 43: by Derek

Derek Haines Celebrate the memory of Douglas Adams!

http://www.towelday.org/


message 42: by Derek

Derek Haines Don't forget that it's Towel Day today in memory of Douglas Adams. Think I might drop Harry Potter for the evening and read Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy for the umteenth time as a celebration of his memory.


message 41: by Derek

Derek Haines Bubbles (Dane) wrote: "We have the same birthday!!! Not sure why that excites me but smiles"

It's the best day of the year to have a birthday :))


message 40: by Bubbles

Bubbles We have the same birthday!!! Not sure why that excites me but smiles


message 39: by Derek

Derek Haines Looks like I've ventured into another Harry Potter book.


Moon 佛月球 Будда Луны Thanks Mr. Haines for the invite.


Ascension Rodriguez hi derek, this is ascension coronado rodriguez author of la casa bruja, witch house; alien raising the antichrist boy. thank you so much for being friends take care.


message 36: by Derek

Derek Haines I seem to be writing a series now. Never intended to.


Diana (Offbeat Vagabond) Thank you so much for adding me, I gladly accept :)


message 34: by Karin

Karin Kaufman Thanks for adding me, Derek!


message 33: by Derek

Derek Haines Great Review for February The Fifth by Nettie Thomson.

http://nettiethomson.com/2011/04/18/f...

February The Fifth


message 32: by Derek

Derek Haines HAL, A New Glothic Tale. Coming Soon

Millions of years before February The Fifth, Gloth was making a nice little profit from the planet Erde, with the help of some cunning Popes and the very, very secret Star Chamber.
------------------------------------------------------
Being disowned by his father and booted out of his family manor in England, then transported off to the distant sun drenched shores of Australia didn’t sound like such a bad punishment for Hal. All things considered. Sydney however, didn’t prove to be his cup of tea, but a quick move to Brisbane leads Hal to a wonderful new life full of friends, back yards, barbecues, beer, surfing, The Breakfast Creek Hotel and Narelle.

The idyllic life.

For a short time unfortunately, as so often happens just when you think things are beautifully perfect, someone or something comes along to throw a spanner in the works. In Hal’s case, his idyllic life gets hit my a number of airborne wrenches. Then when he thinks things are are about as bad as they can get, they of course get a whole lot worse.

Afflicted by an allergic reaction to dust and scary things, Hal does a lot of sneezing as he goes about trying to make the whole lot worse a whole lot better.


message 31: by Derek

Derek Haines I'm afraid HAL is giving me real editing grief. :(


message 30: by Jenni

Jenni Hi Derek!
Thanks for the friend add :D


message 29: by DeAnna

DeAnna Hi, Derek --
Thank you for the friend-vite! It's so nice to be able to connect with other authors here on Goodreads.
~DeAnna Cameron
author of THE BELLY DANCER
The Belly Dancer


message 28: by Derek

Derek Haines Doing a lot of research about Brisbane for my new book. #amwriting


message 27: by Derek

Derek Haines Hi Sebi,

So happy to make contact with a fellow CH!! Keep in touch.

Derek


Sebastiano wrote: "Bonjour Derek -- Thanks for the friend request. It's very good to meet other people from Switzerland on here. Will definitely take a look at your work. Greetings from Solothurn ...sebi"


Sebastiano Mereu Bonjour Derek -- Thanks for the friend request. It's very good to meet other people from Switzerland on here. Will definitely take a look at your work. Greetings from Solothurn ...sebi


message 25: by Wendy

Wendy Hi Derek,

Thanks for the friend request, I am looking forward to getting my hands on some of your works.


Jacquitta McManus Hey Derek,

Thanks for stopping by and sending me a friend invite. How are you?


JMcManus


message 23: by Derek

Derek Haines Hi Ed,
Thanks for your note. Indeed I do remember Concrete & Clay!
Keep in touch :)

Derek


Ed wrote: "Thanks for accepting my friend request, Derek. You seem like an interesting person, as well as quite the prolific author, so feel free to tell me more about yourself. I, myself, am a singer/songwri..."


message 22: by Ed

Ed Rambeau Thanks for accepting my friend request, Derek. You seem like an interesting person, as well as quite the prolific author, so feel free to tell me more about yourself. I, myself, am a singer/songwriter/actor who has recently turned author. My 2 top ten recordings were CONCRETE & CLAY (as a singer) and NAVY BLUE (as a writer)...both in the early 1960's. My first novel is an unusual murder mystery entitled: FORBIDDEN STEPS.

Regards, and have a great day, Ed

http://www.edrambeau.com


message 21: by Derek

Derek Haines Started on a completely new book. I love that first blank page feeling. Luckily it didn't stay blank for long though, and now progress is being made.


message 20: by Regulo (last edited Mar 16, 2011 12:24pm)

Regulo Jr. Hi Derek,
Thanks for the friendly connection! It's an honor to meet you. Looking forward to reading some of your interesting books. Please drop me a message on my "Wall" when you get a chance. Looking forward to talking to you again.

Please stop by at my DesperateLands.Blogspot:
http://desperatelands.blogspot.com/

Please Signup or Join/Follow me on Desperatelands(Goggle/Follow)& (Facebook NetworkedBlogs). I will do the same for you!

Reggie
Desperate Lands  The War on Terror Through the Eyes of a Special Forces Soldier
Regulo Zapata Jr.


message 19: by Derek

Derek Haines Toni wrote: "When I saw your invite, I said to myself, "Self, you have been on Twitter with Derek for eons, why haven't you thought to invite him on Goodreads?" I'm such a silly girl. I added, Milo Moon to my..."

We live in a very small world now Toni. Very hard not to 'bump' into each other :)


message 18: by Toni

Toni Nelson When I saw your invite, I said to myself, "Self, you have been on Twitter with Derek for eons, why haven't you thought to invite him on Goodreads?" I'm such a silly girl. I added, Milo Moon to my list in another time and galaxy... a long, long, very long time ago. Looking forward to reading and reviewing the book, Derek. Everyone needs a little fruit salad in their life! :)


message 17: by Derek

Derek Haines To celebrate the success of my new book, February The Fifth, I've decided to have a February Free e-Book Give Away ! So get the full version of Vandalism of Words by Derek Haines today!

Get Your Free Copy Here

Vandalism of Words


message 16: by Derek

Derek Haines 99 Cent Book Bonanza Month

February will be Kindle Book Bonanza month for my readers.

Not only is February the launch month for my new book, February The Fifth, it is also my birthday month. So to celebrate both events, my new book will not be $4.99 or $2.99 or even $1.99.

Get February 5 in February for only 99c* !

And not only February The Fifth.

My most recent two books, Louis and Milo Moon , will also join in the fun in February.

So get both Louis and Milo Moon in February as well for only 99c* each !

You don’t have a Kindle? Don’t worry. Even for those without a Kindle, you can use your PC, Mac, iPhone or iPad Kindle applications to download and read all three books for only 99c each.


February The Fifth has received great reviews.

‘I laughed, had fun, remembered all the characters because of their crazy names and even thought about how the author invented them -- most importantly, I think I learned something!’ "Bitsy Bling Books"

‘He tells the story of his sudden and unexpected rise to power, and it consequences, with his usual easy style of writing that is both enjoyable and funny. A great read.’ “Tractid”

‘Derek Haines plays with some crazy ideas in his head and lets his vivid imagination go wild.’ “Vivo”


*Amazon Kindle may charge for international wireless delivery in some countries.

February The Fifth


message 15: by Derek

Derek Haines Very pleasing to see February The Fifth climbing the Amazon bestsellers in its pre-release. Thank you all :)
February The Fifth


message 14: by Derek

Derek Haines An Interview With Author Derek Haines

With the release of his new book, February The Fifth, our reporter Said Orquardly tracked down Derek Haines for this exclusive interview.



FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

PRLog (Press Release) – Jan 12, 2011 – SO. How did you come to discover this hidden planet called Gloth?

DH. It was strange really. I was actually looking at images of Jupiter in Google images. I found one I liked, but there was a big red blotch on it. So I popped it into my clever photo software to clean it up. But when I erased the red blotch, I noticed there was something behind it.

SO. Gloth?

DH. Yes. After a little more Jupiter erasing, there it was. The hidden planet of Gloth.

SO. And this became the inspiration for your new book.

DH. Well, I could hardly pass up the opportunity of a new planet now could I?

SO. No. I understand. So, how did you arrive at the name of the main character, February The Fifth?

DH. Well, in fact it’s not his real name. I chose it to protect his identity and because I love alliterations. I did however toy with the names Rocky and Henry but somehow they just didn’t have that certain ring you need in a famous character’s name. In conversations with him, I called him George though. He seemed quite happy with that.

SO. You seem to have a pre-occupation with religion in the book. Is there a reason for this?

DH. No I don’t believe I have a pre-occupation with anything in the book. I have heard the nasty gossip about me having copied notes from my Sunday School work book, but this simply isn’t true. If anything, I believe I may have over used ordinal numbers though.

SO. One criticism that has been levelled at your book and your writing in general, is that you don’t kill off enough people to be a valid author of fiction. How do you react to this?

DH. Yes, it’s true. Along with my reticence to use gratuitous sex and vampires, it could be a valid criticism. But I believe in keeping within the bounds of decency and my lexical range. There are just some words I don’t know.

SO. On the subject of lexis and vocabulary, I note that you have a couple of favourite words.

DH. Oh, you’re referring to things and stuff. Yes, I do like to use these two words at critical points in the story because they save on a whole bunch of paragraphs just describing something. The story moves much faster by using these two words. You know, ‘He grabbed some things and went and did some stuff,’ really has some pace about it don’t you think?

SO. The burning question I suppose for your readers is if there will be a sequel to February The Fifth. A Sixth perhaps?

DH. At this point in time, I’m not really sure. I was very careful though to keep my options open by including a hint of procreation in Feb Five, so the door is open.

SO. Well, thank you so much for your time this morning, and good luck with the new book.

DH. My pleasure. Oh and don’t forget, Derek only has one R.

# # #

Derek Haines is an author of fiction, historical fiction, essays and poetry. Born in Australia, but now living in Switzerland, his stories cross a wide geographical range but often draw from elements of his life and experiences in the two countries he calls home.

--- end --- Visit Press Room


message 13: by Derek

Derek Haines Back in writing mode after getting my new book ready to go. Nice to be putting words on paper again after so long.


message 12: by Derek

Derek Haines New book all ready. E-book version is already available and the paperback is on target for the 5th February. I can't believe I hot my deadlines! February The Fifth


message 11: by Cheryl

Cheryl Thanks for the friend request!


Shalonda Williams Wonderful New Year to you! And thank you for the friendship!


William O'Brien Hi Derek - Thank you for your friendship.

Please visit my website http://www.peteradarkenedfairytale.co.uk
to view a sample page and many other snippets about the book.
Expected release date late Jan.

Best wishes, William


message 8: by Lisa

Lisa Kessler Hi Derek -

Happy New Year!!!

Thanks for your friendship! :)

My novel, Moonlight, is a finalist in Kensington Publishing's Writing with the Stars contest, but we need your vote to make it to the next round of competition...

Will you please click below and Vote for Moonlight?

December Vote for Moonlight

Thanks for all your support!!! :)

Lisa


message 7: by Stacy

Stacy Juba Hi Derek, thanks for adding me as a friend. Happy New Year!


Julene Thanks for inviting me to connect. You do have an interesting array of books! My first full size poetry book will be out soon. Looking forward to connecting here.


Penelope Marzec Nice to meet another author. Thanks for the friendship.


message 4: by Ellen

Ellen Maze Thanks Derek! I have seen your book MILO MOON around the internet and I think it is on my to-read list.
HAPPY NEW YEAR -- you'll get it before me since you're in Australia (lucky guy!)
~ellen in the USA


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