Derek Haines

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Derek Haines

Goodreads author profile


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born
Northam WA, Australia
gender
male

website

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genre

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member since
November 2009


About this author

Writer, storyteller, Aussie and Swiss.

Derek Haines is an author of genre fiction, essays and poetry. His works range from historical fiction with Louis and The Sons of Cleito, to The Glothic Tales, a trilogy of science fiction farce, to dark contemporary romance, including One Last Love, Dead Men and For The Love Of Sam. His satirical essays and novellas such as My Take Away Vampire and And Uneducated View of Sex, Food and Politics then clearly fall into the tongue in cheek genre.

His passion for writing started with poetry before moving into essays and then later, genre fiction. Although his works cover a wide range of settings and genres, his writing style and voice communicate with, and engage readers through his characters, who are alway...more


Crossroads And The Himalayan CrystalsCrossroads And The Himalayan Crystals


Life will never be the same for four teenagers lost in a magical land. In author C. Toni Graham’s new magical novel, “Crossroads and the Himalayan Crystals” a group of teens must come to terms with their new surroundings before they lose everything they hold dear.


In the quiet town of Middlefield, an ordinary day takes a turn for the strange and wondrous whe...

Read more of this blog post »
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Published on May 23, 2013 02:00 • 1 view
Average rating: 4.18 · 185 ratings · 84 reviews · 20 distinct works · Similar authors
Louis
4.41 of 5 stars 4.41 avg rating — 29 ratings — published 2010 — 4 editions
Vandalism Of Words
3.28 of 5 stars 3.28 avg rating — 29 ratings — published 2010 — 4 editions
February The Fifth
4.04 of 5 stars 4.04 avg rating — 25 ratings — published 2010 — 4 editions
One Last Love
4.1 of 5 stars 4.10 avg rating — 20 ratings — published 2012 — 3 editions
The Sons Of Cleito
4.8 of 5 stars 4.80 avg rating — 15 ratings — published 2012 — 3 editions
Milo Moon
4.33 of 5 stars 4.33 avg rating — 12 ratings — published 2010 — 4 editions
Loss, Limbo, Life & Love
4.38 of 5 stars 4.38 avg rating — 8 ratings — published 2009 — 4 editions
Camera Stellata - The Adven...
4.86 of 5 stars 4.86 avg rating — 7 ratings — published 2011 — 4 editions
My Take Away Vampire
4.0 of 5 stars 4.00 avg rating — 7 ratings — published 2011 — 2 editions
Nobody's Fault
4.71 of 5 stars 4.71 avg rating — 7 ratings — published 2009 — 3 editions
More books by Derek Haines…

Upcoming Events

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Derek's Recent Updates

Derek Haines wrote a new blog post

Crossroads And The Himalayan Crystals

Life will never be the same for four teenagers lost in a magical land. In author C. Toni Graham’s new magical... Read more of this blog post »
Derek Haines made a comment on his profile
2919244
"Grab 'Sons of Cleito', FREE this weekend on Kindle.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Sons-Of-Cle...

[image]
"
Derek Haines rated a book 4 of 5 stars
The Few by Derek Haines
The Few
by Derek Haines (Goodreads Author)
Derek Haines rated a book 4 of 5 stars
Twice Bitten by Jens Kuhn
Twice Bitten
by Jens Kuhn (Goodreads Author)
"Thanks for your comment Laura. I might just do that on my blog. Give credit to the Lit agents that are being positive and supportive."
Derek Haines made a comment on Bee's review of One Last Love
13549975
"Thank you very much for your kind review Bee. Very much appreciated, and so happy to hear that you enjoyed the story. :)"
One Last Love by Derek Haines
" I enjoyed this gentle story very much. Not that Bonnie the main character is especially amiable but you just have to love his blunt and sometimes quite rude language because you soon find out that there is a kind heart hidden somewhere. He is figh... " Read more of this review »
11180777
"Thanks for your review Andrew and I'm very happy to hear that you enjoyed the book!"
Camera Stellata - The Adventures of Hal by Derek Haines
" An excellent read. I enjoy Mr. Haines' sense of humor and his alternate view of Earth history. "
More of Derek's books…
“Women only want what they don't have. Men want what they can't have.”
Derek Haines

“There's a good reason I am a writer. I'm completely useless at anything else.”
Derek Haines

“While some waste their time looking for the meaning of life, there are others who understand there is none and just get on enjoying the space they are renting.”
Derek Haines, Camera Stellata - The Adventures of Hal

Topics Mentioning This Author

topics posts views last activity  
Reading with Style: * Reading w/Style Completed Tasks -Spring 2012 998 177 May 31, 2012 08:59pm  
“He was a dreamer, a thinker, a speculative philosopher... or, as his wife would have it, an idiot.”
Douglas Adams

“I don't have an occupation. Only a preoccupation.”
Derek Haines

“There's a good reason I am a writer. I'm completely useless at anything else.”
Derek Haines

“I don’t like Wednesdays.”
Derek Haines, Milo Moon

“Women only want what they don't have. Men want what they can't have.”
Derek Haines

41881 Q&A with Derek Haines — 9 members — last activity Jan 03, 2011 01:46am
What does it mean to be 'Indie'. The taboos have gone, so where to from here?
41636 Read This Next! — 112 members — last activity Apr 13, 2012 01:11pm
Inspired by the book Read This Next by Sandra Newman and Howard Mittelmark. A selection of must read books and discussions. * Please do not post advert...more
33611 Make a book a bestseller — 871 members — last activity May 22, 2013 04:53pm
If a bunch of people can get Betty White to host Saturday Night Live seems like we can make a great book(s) a bestseller.
2740 Language & Grammar — 1424 members — last activity 3 minutes ago
This group is for word lovers and has topics both serious (grammatical questions and concerns) and not so serious (word play and word games of all sor...more
82279 Who By Fire Online Book Group — 74 members — last activity May 05, 2013 10:05am
Discuss Mary L. Tabor's new novel, Who By Fire, and join Mary with Guests on Rare Bird Radio broadcasts. BROADCASTS Jaki Scarcello | http://tinyurl.com/...more
More of Derek’s groups…



Comments (showing 18-67)    post a comment »

message 67: by Derek

Derek Haines Grab 'Sons of Cleito', FREE this weekend on Kindle.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Sons-Of-Cle...

The Sons Of Cleito


message 66: by Derek

Derek Haines FREE this weekend only. Twice Bitten by Jens Kuhn and Derek Haines. Two very beautiful, yet different vampires for your enjoyment.

http://www.amazon.com/Twice-Bitten-eb...

Twice Bitten


message 65: by Derek

Derek Haines The sequel to The Sons had finally been published!!! The Few is out now.

http://www.derekhaines.ch/whizbuzz/20...

The Few


message 64: by Derek

Derek Haines I decided to enter a lottery this morning. I was looking for my next book to read, and in a moment of rashness, clicked on Facebook and then selected the very first Kindle free ebook that appeared in my feed. That's really called random and pot luck. Well, 10 pages into my lottery read, I can say that I'm quite impressed. I'll report back later in my reading journey.


message 63: by Derek

Derek Haines I just finished beta reading a new book in the works by Jens Kuhn. All I can say is that I loved it!!


message 62: by Derek

Derek Haines I've started writing the sequel to The Sons Of Cleito. It may come as shock to know that the working title is The Daughters Of Cleito. Yes, I know, lacking in imagination. :)


message 61: by Derek

Derek Haines Thank you to all the wonderful people I have connected with on Goodreads during 2012 and a BIG thank you to those of you who have been kind enough to post reviews.

I wish you all the very best for the festive season and hope you have a very Happy and prosperous 2013.


message 60: by Derek

Derek Haines You can listen to me discussing self publishing and writing With Mary Tabor at the following link to Rare Bird Radio.
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/rarebird...


message 59: by Derek

Derek Haines New book release! The Sons of Cleito - A new thriller by Derek Haines.

Langley Garret's Sunday morning starts very badly after waking with a hangover and a depressed feeling of worthlessness, along with a foreboding sensation in his gut. With his wife working away yet again, and the realisation that their marriage is probably very close to an end, and that his life is slowly ebbing away, he ponders his misfortune.

As he decides to start accepting that his life just couldn't get any worse, over his breakfast of coffee, cold pizza and orange juice, it does, when his miserable, quiet and lonely Sunday morning is interrupted by some very nasty people who have orders to abduct him.

Available on Kindle and Smashwords.

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view...

http://www.amazon.com/The-Sons-Of-Cle...


The Sons Of Cleito


message 57: by Derek (last edited Aug 24, 2012 06:37am)

Derek Haines FREE ebook giveaway this weekend. Grab a copy for some light weekend reading.

http://www.amazon.com/My-Take-Away-Va...
My Take Away Vampire My Take Away Vampire


message 56: by Derek

Derek Haines 'One Last Love' is FREE on Kindle from today and over the weekend. Grab your free copy.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007L5C424
One Last Love


message 55: by Derek

Derek Haines Four day Kindle Ebook giveaway. Get For The Love Of Sam, a contemporary romance by Derek Haines. Free until Sunday 15th July.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B008ABFQ64

For The Love Of Sam


message 54: by Derek

Derek Haines 'February The Fifth just hit #1 on Kindle's bestseller list for Science Fiction Adventure!! Grab a free copy this weekend!!

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004HFRL9C
February The Fifth


message 53: by Derek (last edited May 05, 2012 06:44am)

Derek Haines Big FREE book give away on Kindle this weekend. Three books for FREE!! Grab your copies!!! HAL Milo Moon Dead Men

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004X6UMCS
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B003ICWF1O
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004RVBM1Y


message 52: by Derek

Derek Haines Sadly I just discovered that Goodreads limits friends to 5,000 so as I have reached this number, I can't accept new friend requests. :(


message 51: by Derek

Derek Haines One Last Love

For the romance lovers, One Last Love is finally out there on Kindle. The paperback will be coming in a few weeks. But of course, it's a Derek Haines story, so expect it to be different.


Volatalistic Phil Indeed it has. For you it must be a gigantic mess because all of your publications. I wonder what prompted the change.


message 49: by Derek

Derek Haines So it would seem that Goodreads disconnection with Amazon has made a proper mess of book covers now.


message 48: by Derek

Derek Haines I have been on Goodreads a long time, but really I'm getting fed up with the amount of invitations to these stupid 'events'! It's really becoming a pain. Please take your events and have them somewhere else, with someone else!

To a grumpy old author, an event is where there is free drinks and nibbley things. So if you're not offering this, these are not events, they are quite honestly just spam.


message 47: by Malithi

Malithi Hey,,,Thanks for adding me


message 46: by Derek

Derek Haines I just gave one of my own books a bummer 3 star review. Now is that honesty, or what?


message 45: by Derek

Derek Haines Vandalism of Words

This book has gone 'Viral' on Kindle today!! Amazon have made it FREE. Well over 1,000 downloads in the last 6 hours. Get your copy while it's FREE!
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B003ZYFCY2


message 44: by Pixie

Pixie Hello!
Thank you for the friendship. :)

Pixie


message 43: by Derek

Derek Haines Celebrate the memory of Douglas Adams!

http://www.towelday.org/


message 42: by Derek

Derek Haines Don't forget that it's Towel Day today in memory of Douglas Adams. Think I might drop Harry Potter for the evening and read Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy for the umteenth time as a celebration of his memory.


message 41: by Derek

Derek Haines Bubbles (Dane) wrote: "We have the same birthday!!! Not sure why that excites me but smiles"

It's the best day of the year to have a birthday :))


Bubbles  Hunty We have the same birthday!!! Not sure why that excites me but smiles


message 39: by Derek

Derek Haines Looks like I've ventured into another Harry Potter book.


☽ Moon ☯ 佛月球 Будда Луны Thanks Mr. Haines for the invite.


Ascension Rodriguez hi derek, this is ascension coronado rodriguez author of la casa bruja, witch house; alien raising the antichrist boy. thank you so much for being friends take care.


message 36: by Derek

Derek Haines I seem to be writing a series now. Never intended to.


Diana (Offbeat Vagabond) Thank you so much for adding me, I gladly accept :)


message 34: by Karin

Karin Kaufman Thanks for adding me, Derek!


message 33: by Derek

Derek Haines Great Review for February The Fifth by Nettie Thomson.

http://nettiethomson.com/2011/04/18/f...

February The Fifth


message 32: by Derek

Derek Haines HAL, A New Glothic Tale. Coming Soon

Millions of years before February The Fifth, Gloth was making a nice little profit from the planet Erde, with the help of some cunning Popes and the very, very secret Star Chamber.
------------------------------------------------------
Being disowned by his father and booted out of his family manor in England, then transported off to the distant sun drenched shores of Australia didn’t sound like such a bad punishment for Hal. All things considered. Sydney however, didn’t prove to be his cup of tea, but a quick move to Brisbane leads Hal to a wonderful new life full of friends, back yards, barbecues, beer, surfing, The Breakfast Creek Hotel and Narelle.

The idyllic life.

For a short time unfortunately, as so often happens just when you think things are beautifully perfect, someone or something comes along to throw a spanner in the works. In Hal’s case, his idyllic life gets hit my a number of airborne wrenches. Then when he thinks things are are about as bad as they can get, they of course get a whole lot worse.

Afflicted by an allergic reaction to dust and scary things, Hal does a lot of sneezing as he goes about trying to make the whole lot worse a whole lot better.


message 31: by Derek

Derek Haines I'm afraid HAL is giving me real editing grief. :(


message 30: by Jenni

Jenni Hi Derek!
Thanks for the friend add :D


message 29: by DeAnna

DeAnna Hi, Derek --
Thank you for the friend-vite! It's so nice to be able to connect with other authors here on Goodreads.
~DeAnna Cameron
author of THE BELLY DANCER
The Belly Dancer


message 28: by Derek

Derek Haines Doing a lot of research about Brisbane for my new book. #amwriting


message 27: by Derek

Derek Haines Hi Sebi,

So happy to make contact with a fellow CH!! Keep in touch.

Derek


Sebastiano wrote: "Bonjour Derek -- Thanks for the friend request. It's very good to meet other people from Switzerland on here. Will definitely take a look at your work. Greetings from Solothurn ...sebi"


Sebastiano Mereu Bonjour Derek -- Thanks for the friend request. It's very good to meet other people from Switzerland on here. Will definitely take a look at your work. Greetings from Solothurn ...sebi


message 25: by Wendy

Wendy Hi Derek,

Thanks for the friend request, I am looking forward to getting my hands on some of your works.


Jacquitta McManus Hey Derek,

Thanks for stopping by and sending me a friend invite. How are you?


JMcManus


message 23: by Derek

Derek Haines Hi Ed,
Thanks for your note. Indeed I do remember Concrete & Clay!
Keep in touch :)

Derek


Ed wrote: "Thanks for accepting my friend request, Derek. You seem like an interesting person, as well as quite the prolific author, so feel free to tell me more about yourself. I, myself, am a singer/songwri..."


message 22: by Ed

Ed Rambeau Thanks for accepting my friend request, Derek. You seem like an interesting person, as well as quite the prolific author, so feel free to tell me more about yourself. I, myself, am a singer/songwriter/actor who has recently turned author. My 2 top ten recordings were CONCRETE & CLAY (as a singer) and NAVY BLUE (as a writer)...both in the early 1960's. My first novel is an unusual murder mystery entitled: FORBIDDEN STEPS.

Regards, and have a great day, Ed

http://www.edrambeau.com


message 21: by Derek

Derek Haines Started on a completely new book. I love that first blank page feeling. Luckily it didn't stay blank for long though, and now progress is being made.


message 20: by Regulo (last edited Mar 16, 2011 12:24pm)

Regulo Jr. Hi Derek,
Thanks for the friendly connection! It's an honor to meet you. Looking forward to reading some of your interesting books. Please drop me a message on my "Wall" when you get a chance. Looking forward to talking to you again.

Please stop by at my DesperateLands.Blogspot:
http://desperatelands.blogspot.com/

Please Signup or Join/Follow me on Desperatelands(Goggle/Follow)& (Facebook NetworkedBlogs). I will do the same for you!

Reggie
Desperate Lands  The War on Terror Through the Eyes of a Special Forces Soldier
Regulo Zapata Jr.


message 19: by Derek

Derek Haines Toni wrote: "When I saw your invite, I said to myself, "Self, you have been on Twitter with Derek for eons, why haven't you thought to invite him on Goodreads?" I'm such a silly girl. I added, Milo Moon to my..."

We live in a very small world now Toni. Very hard not to 'bump' into each other :)


message 18: by Toni

Toni Nelson When I saw your invite, I said to myself, "Self, you have been on Twitter with Derek for eons, why haven't you thought to invite him on Goodreads?" I'm such a silly girl. I added, Milo Moon to my list in another time and galaxy... a long, long, very long time ago. Looking forward to reading and reviewing the book, Derek. Everyone needs a little fruit salad in their life! :)


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