Jess Haines's Blog
May 30, 2012
I didn’t really have enough time to write this post the other day, and I’m writing this now close to midnight on Tuesday night, so it might not make much sense.
I miss board games. I used to play them all the time with my friends. All kinds of weird stuff most of you probably never heard of.
This weekend rekindled my love of playing silly, competitive games of chance and skill. Not just on the computer, but with real, live people, all of us laughing and joking together while trying to beat the other team(s). On Sunday night, we played Scrabble, Clue, and Catch Phrase. We were all laughing our asses off and annoying the hell out of the neighbors while playing Catch Phrase, since we played that one mostly outside, and for some reason managed to get some of the perviest words in all the land (“orgy,” “leather and lace,” “cleavage,” etc).
I lost miserably at Clue, and won spectacularly at Scrabble. Good times all around.
How about the rest of you? Have a particular board/party game you enjoy?
P.S. Don’t forget to head over to the latest stops on the STALKING THE OTHERS blog Tour! A Great Book Is The Cheapest Vacation, The Qwillery, and today’s stop is Book Girl of Mur-y Castell…
May 28, 2012
I’ve been working on guest posts and such between watching episodes of Ren & Stimpy.
A Great Book is the Cheapest Vacation! I’m working on some of the character banter guest posts now, and I’m doing my best to make them have some relevance to each other. Or at least logically follow one to the next. For me, that’s the “fun stuff”–I like writing them, even if it’s more work than answering interview questions. Coming up with fresh ideas for what to have the characters argue and snark about isn’t always easy, and neither is keeping them relatively spoiler free, but I love having the opportunity to have the H&W gang interact in ways they wouldn’t normally in the books.What do you guys think? Did any of you find me through guest posts on a blogger’s website? Do you like reading that kind of post, or do you prefer interviews or more “serious” guest posts from the authors you follow?
May 25, 2012
Reminder! Today is the kick-off for the STALKING THE OTHERS blog tour! Head over to Sara’s Urban Fantasy Blog to check out the first of many interviews and guest posts to come…
Now, on to the funnies!
FINALLY, ERROR MESSAGES THAT I ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND
I was having trouble with my computer, so I called John, the computer guy, to come over. John clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. He gave me a bill for a minimum service call.
As he was walking away, I called after him.
“So, what was wrong?”
He replied, “It was an ID-ten-T error.”
I didn’t want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, “An, ID ten T error? What’s that … in case I need to fix it again?”
John grinned. “Haven’t you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?”
“No,” I replied.
“Write it down,” he said, “and I think you’ll figure it out.”
So I wrote down:
I D 1 0 T
I used to like John….
May 23, 2012
Title: Dreadful Beginnings
Author: Marty Shaw
Genre: Young Adult Urban Fantasy
Series: Penny Dreadful
Back Cover Copy:
There are things out there. Dark and scary things that will kill you in strange and terrible ways. They live in shadows and feast on blood. They don’t belong in our world, but they’re here. You don’t have to freak out, though, because there’s this guy out there too. He calls himself Doctor Horror and he fights those bad things, but he needs help in his fight against the darkness.
Lucky for him, I’m the right girl for the job.
When you think of home, you probably think of chilling out in front of the TV or hanging with friends on the latest social media hotspot. What you probably don’t think about are killer hairdryers and murderous stuffed bunnies that want to make sure you don’t wake up from your blissful slumber. These are the kinds of things that might happen when you accidentally release a demon while playing witch. Hey! Don’t look at me that way. My friend was doing the spellcasting. I was just there.
Demon-killing isn’t something I considered as an actual profession until a guy named Doctor Horror showed up and asked for my help in dealing with this supernatural pest. Once I got over his strange name, it seemed like a pretty good deal. Killing demons definitely sounded better than telemarketing. Ugh! More importantly, this thing was trying to kill me and my friends… and that just doesn’t work for me.
Now, armed with Doc’s little suitcase of goodies and a special bracelet that has a mind of its own, I’m going to show this demon why he would’ve been better off staying in Hell.
Disclosure: Review copy received from author. This in no way impacted my review or opinion of this story.
My Review:
A small bite of what I hope will be a bigger series, DREADFUL BEGINNINGS is an urban fantasy novella with a very young adult feel to it. The main character, Penny, just graduated high school and is having a heck of a time finding and keeping a job. She likes hanging out in cemeteries, drinking cappuccino at the mall, and basically being a slack teenager. Telemarketing? Working in real estate with her mother? Not so much.
The author did a great job capturing the “voice” of a teenage girl without making her irritating or whiny. My hat is off to Mr. Shaw for pulling that off.
When Penny and her friends accidentally set a demon free while casting a spell which is supposed to bring them luck, wackiness ensues. The demon is pretty freaky, and I had a momentary flashback to one of the R.L. Stine Fear Street novels when the demon trapped Penny in the shower.
The story is fast-paced, the Big Bad is suitably evil, and the Doc remains a mystery. If you’re looking for a shorter, self-contained urban fantasy story with a young adult feel, this is a good one, though I didn’t find myself emotionally involved during certain scenes. Penny’s reaction to the death of her best friend did feel a bit glossed over, and the talk with her mom at the end didn’t move me at all, but it still packs a punch considering the length of the story.
In short, this was a tasty treat and I do want more. Hopefully the next installment will be a full length novel!
4/5
Series Order:
1. Dreadful Beginnings
2. (Title not yet revealed / release date not known)
May 21, 2012
D’oh! I forgot to schedule the Friday Funnies to post on Friday. *facepalm*
Before I post a funny, I did want to say, I managed to watch a few terrifically terrible movies the last few weeks. Anybody interested in hearing my opinions on Porco Rosso, Blubberella, or Blood and Donuts? Let me know in the comments.
And now–the belated Friday Funnies!
Honk if you love Jesus…
Grandma is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car. She writes:
Dear Grand-daughter,
The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a ‘Honk if you love Jesus’ bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting, so I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.
Boy, am I glad I did; what an uplifting experience that followed.
I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good he is, and I didn’t notice that the light had changed.
It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn’t honked, I’d never have noticed.
I found that lots of people love Jesus!
While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, ‘For the love of God! Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO!’
What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus!
Everyone started honking!
I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all those loving people. I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love! There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a sunny beach.
I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air.
I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant. He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something.
Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign right back.
My grandson burst out laughing.
Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!!
A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me.
I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed.
So, grinning, I waved at all my brothers and sisters, and drove on through the intersection.
I noticed that I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared.
So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away. Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!!
Will write again soon!
Love,
Grandma
May 16, 2012
A WIN FOR BERLIN
Press Release
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Meet Berlin: She’s a charming little girl with a beautiful smile, a shining countenance and a debilitating disease. You see Berlin has Osteogenesis Imperfecta — Brittle Bone Disease.
Berlin was born with Brittle Bone Disease and though she’s only seven she already knows what it feels like to have a broken arm, leg, and fractured vertebra — repeatedly. But you’d never know by speaking with her that her life is anything but normal. Even when Berlin’s slowly making her way across campus with her mobility walker, she always has a bright smile, and will shout out to friends and parents of friends with a warm welcome and a friendly wave.
But Berlin isn’t walking these days. You see, she recently fell and ended up in the hospital where it was discovered she’d re-fractured her Tibia – the main bone in her lower leg – and a pin from a previous surgery had shifted through the bone. That shift means that Berlin can’t walk until she has surgery. Due to lack of insurance coverage, they treated the new fracture and sent her home, denying her the needed surgery.
Every day children right here in America go without needed medical care, and it breaks my heart. Every Day. I pray today is not going to be Berlin’s day to go without treatment.
With the help of some incredibly generous members of the writing community and local businesses an online auction has been created. Beginning Friday, May 11, at 1:00pm PST, simply go to Ebay.com, enter A Win For Berlin in the search field and start bidding on the great gifts and services donated by Award Winning and Bestselling authors, artists, and local businesses.
You’ll find everything from signed books to “Meet and Greets” with your favorite authors and artists, and a wide array of everything in between. In addition, we’ll have some great items up for bid from local businesses.
Don’t see anything you want to bid on? No problem, keep checking back for new auctions to be added over the next week or check out one of our donation auctions.
_____________
Here is the link to all of the “Win for Berlin” eBay auctions: http://www.ebay.com/sch/m.html?_from=&_nkw=&_armrs=1&_ssn=a_win_for_berlin&rt=nc
To help this cause, I have donated:
A signed copy of HUNTED BY THE OTHERS, and,
A 50 page manuscript critique.
If you prefer, you can also do a direct donation in $10, $25, $50, and $100 increments.
Please help this little girl. Every penny counts!
May 14, 2012
I had a total nerdgasm last night. The Avengers was amazing. It’s already set quite a few records, including the the fastest film to gross over one billion dollars–yes, you read that right–that is $1,000,000,000 worldwide. If you haven’t seen it yet, HIE THEE TO THE NEAREST MOVIE THEATER!
If you have seen it, what did you think? What was your favorite part? (Anyone who hasn’t seen it might want to stay away from the comments, as it might get really spoilery.) Personally, I couldn’t stop laughing when the Hulk punched Thor, and again when he started flinging Loki around. Thor, Tony Stark, and Captain America were all both hilarious with their clashing egos/agendas, and lovely eye candy. Loki was the perfect villain, both believable as a character and terrifying to watch, considering his genius and utter lack of compassion. Oh, and did you stay for the two credit clips? The one at the very end sent me into giggle fits. It truly was the perfect touch to end the movie.
While the stars of previous Marvel films were all, of course, terrific, I have to hand it to Joss. He did a great job giving the minor characters enough time in the spotlight for them all to shine. The members of S.H.I.E.L.D. all had just enough personality to make them into people instead of part of the scenery.
As I wasn’t much of a comic book fan growing up, characters like Nick Fury, Hawkeye, and Black Widow were virtual unknowns to me, but they were very impressive in this movie. I’m looking forward to seeing more of them in future films.
Yes, of course there are more films in the Marvel-verse coming around the bend! Iron Man 3, Thor 2, and Captain America 2 have been announced and/or are in various stages of production, and there are rumors of another Hulk movie to come in 2015. I am absolutely ecstatic to hear that Joss Whedon was optioned to work on Avengers 2, which is already in development, and I hope that Marvel does whatever it takes to keep him on the project.
I’ve been a Joss Whedon fangirl for ages. While he has had some connections to the occasional stinker–don’t even get me started on Alien: Resurrection–for the most part, the man is a cinematic genius. Kudos to you, sir. You did a fan-freaking-tastic job, and I can’t wait to see what else you’ve got in store for us.
On a related note, before Avengers started, there were trailers for a few movies that I’m really looking forward to. Anyone else do a fan-girl squee for the Prometheus trailer? I’m also excited about seeing Brave and the new Spider-Man movie. The other trailers didn’t excite me as much, but those three movies are on my must-see list. How about you guys? Are you looking forward to any of those movies, too?
Oh, and if any of you emailed me at all last week/this weekend, I’ll be getting back to you soon. I had a raging case of pinkeye that made it almost impossible to read anything for most of last week. I can type blindfolded, but reading emails and blog posts to reply to people was a bit beyond me. I’m doing much better now, so no worries about my health.
May 11, 2012
One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the water. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, “My dear child, why are you crying?”
The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in making a living for their family. The Lord dipped His hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble set with sapphires.
“Is this your thimble?” the Lord asked.
The seamstress replied, “No.”
The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a golden thimble studded with rubies.
“Is this your thimble?” the Lord asked.
Again, the seamstress replied, “No.”
The Lord reached down again and came up with a leather thimble.
“Is this your thimble?” the Lord asked.
The seamstress replied, “Yes.”
The Lord was pleased with the woman’s honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep, and the seamstress went home happy.
Some years later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the riverbank. Her husband fell into the river and disappeared under the water.
When she cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked her, “Why are you crying?”
“Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the river!”
The Lord went down into the water and came up with Ryan Reynolds.
“Is this your husband?” the Lord asked.
“Yes,” cried the seamstress.
The Lord was furious. “You lied! That is an untruth!”
The seamstress replied, “Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said ‘no’ to Ryan Reynolds, you would have come up with Alexander Skarsgard.
“Then if I said ‘no’ to him, you would have come up with my husband. Had I then said ‘yes,’ you would have given me all three. Lord, I’m not in the best of health and would not be able to take care of all three husbands, so THAT’S why I said ‘yes’ to Ryan Reynolds.”
And so the Lord let her keep him.
The moral of this story is:
Whenever a woman lies, it’s for a good and honorable reason, and in the best interest of others. That’s our story, and we’re sticking to it.
Signed,
All Us Women
May 9, 2012
FYI, the next few Mon/Wed updates are probably going to be a bit on the short side. I’m getting entrenched in writing mode for the blog tour and I have a lot of work to do on the next book.
Now, on to today’s topic!
One thing I wanted to mention, as I have seen a number of people retweeting and talking about this in the writing world, is that no one held a gun to Ann Voss Peterson’s head. She didn’t have to write 25 books for Harlequin. If she really didn’t like her royalty rates that much, she was under no obligation to keep working for them from 2000-2011–unless there is some exclusivity clause in the Harlequin contract I’m not aware of, which could put a slightly different spin on this. Also, she could have exercised her audit clause in her contract at any time to ensure the figures were being calculated correctly. Complaining about the rates like this is in very poor taste considering Harlequin apparently launched her career.
You don’t sign on to Harlequin for the huge royalty percentage, you sign on to get the exposure of the Harlequin brand name (which is something to take into account if you ever decide to try to publish with them). As Jackie Barbosa said in the comments on a Dear Author article:
So, all in all, Harlequin has a lot to offer authors who write these kinds of books. The Presents line, in particular, sells very, very well. I believe in May, all six of the titles released in the US hit the USA Today list. For some authors, those kinds of odds might be worth the trade-off in royalty rates and other terms.
Also, Ms. Peterson’s “woe is me” attitude about the money she made doesn’t add up. I’m going to talk out of my ass for a moment and speculate using the information to hand, but even if she made an average of $10K per novel (basing this theoretical figure upon her $20K as the high end, with the $6K advance and earning out on every single novel), at 25 novels, that comes out to a ballpark of $250,000.
This post is what we refer to as “burning bridges” and “biting the hand that feeds”. What if some terrific opportunity had come up to work with Harlequin again in the future? What about other publishers who might have considered working with her before, and on much more favorable terms, but now may not because of her airing her disputes so publicly?
Not that I feel that someone should sit on their disagreements if they have them, or keep genuine issues in the dark, but there is no sense of responsibility or accountability for this situation that I can detect in this woman’s post. In addition, by adding his own thoughts at the end, Mr. Konrath seems to be doing his best to make it appear that all publishers are horrible (they aren’t) and are all trying to bilk their authors out of their hard-earned royalties (where is the proof?).
Not to say that Harlequin hasn’t had anything to answer for. They are not perfect, and their royalty rates do appear to be abysmal. However, as I mentioned:
A) She signed the contracts of her own free will, so it’s a bit silly to attempt to hold the company accountable for something she didn’t agree with after the fact because “she didn’t know it would be like that” (DO. YOUR. RESEARCH.); and,
B) She could have exercised her audit clause in her contract to ensure she was being paid correctly; and,
C) She was not under any obligation to continue writing for them if she didn’t like the pay or how she was being treated, and should have brought her concerns about the financial end of things to her agent to explore other publishing options and/or stopped signing contracts for new books with them/had her agent negotiate better terms once she became established.
Agents are not only the people who get you your book deal—they are supposed to be your leg up in the industry, your advisor, and your champion. When you have questions about where your career is going, or think something doesn’t seem quite right, your agent is supposed to be the person to give you guidance in these matters. (Not the person to make decisions on your behalf, but to help give you some direction and make sure that whatever deal they negotiate is in your best interest—or inform you when it isn’t.)
Relying on your agent for this isn’t the be-all/end-all of your publishing career. You should definitely think for yourself in these matters, and never sign a legal document without first reading and ensuring you understand it.
You are responsible for what you sign. No one grabs your hand and forces you to scrawl your signature on the dotted line. You can cry foul later if someone actually does something underhanded and sneaky, or violates the terms of your contract, but after having 25 books in over a decade all published with the same house, I sincerely doubt the veracity of her argument.
While I do wish her the best of luck with her self-publishing venture, I can guarantee you that she will have an easier time finding success (not that this is guaranteed) than someone who is going the self-pub route straight out of the gate. For anyone reading her story and planning to watch how she does to use her as a measuring stick of some kind, and thinks that her post and Konrath’s opinion are good enough reasons to dive straight into self-publishing, I would like to remind you that she has a “built in” audience. People may have seen her name on the shelves before or read her traditionally pubbed books, and became fans, and will now follow her no matter what publishing platform she uses (self, vanity, indie, or traditional). Let us not forget that she is now going to be shouldering all of the expenses inherent in self-publishing (promotion, marketing, setting up distribution, paying for cover art/design and editing, etc) that were formerly handled by Harlequin.
Also, while I believe Mr. Konrath has given some good advice on the nuts and bolts of self publishing in the past, I find his diatribes against what he calls “legacy” publishing houses (such as the Big 6) to be very one-sided and full of hyperbole. Calling them names (“Publishing pinheads”? Really?) only undermines his arguments and makes his statements come across as sulky and childish, and reeks of sour grapes. This is not a measured, reasoned argument, but a name-calling session that is not backed up by straight facts. Any sympathy I had for Ms. Peterson vanished after reading Mr. Konrath’s “addendum” to her post at the end.
Entering in opinions is fine as long as one clearly labels them as such, and doesn’t attempt to muddy the waters further by adding one’s own new, invented words and definitions to apply to industry terms. Mr. Konrath is not solely responsible for this, I am sure, but seeing as he poses himself as a “self-publishing guru” and new/aspiring authors look up to him, in my opinion it is deceitful and a huge disservice to call self-publishing and vanity publishing “indie” (they are not) and calling established publishing companies “legacy” or “traditional” in an attempt to belittle their image to people who don’t know any better.
While Konrath is a self-publishing success, he is one of very few, is not solely self-published (considering he had a book picked up by Hyperion and now publishes with Amazon), and what worked for him may not work for others. Bear this in mind and please, please, please, think for yourself and don’t use him as a sole source of information about the publishing industry or self-publishing. Take anything you read from an industry insider—-even my blog posts-—with a boulder-sized grain of salt, but don’t use us as your only source of information. Talk to people who are successful and unsuccessful to see what they do wrong/right, read industry articles, know your options, and decide for yourself what you want out of this business. Having a lot of followers doesn’t make someone right, it only means they are loud enough that plenty of people hear them.
Publishing, like every other aspect of the entertainment industry, is not easy to break into professionally. Even when you do, it is not a guarantee of success. Trying to make it on your own, without the backing of a professional organization that knows how to market and leverage your talents, is even harder.
With that in mind, whenever possible, try to look at things from every angle. Ask questions if you need to, and don’t be afraid to put the hard ones to people who should be able to give you the answers you need. Don’t agree with someone’s opinion about this industry because it seems “popular” to do so. Agree because you observe for yourself that what they are saying is truth.
Use your head. Be smart about this business. And take responsibility for your own decisions and actions.
May 7, 2012
STALKING THE OTHERS
BLOG TOUR CALENDAR
Stalk This Book: May 25 – July 13
Friday, May 25, 2012
Sara’s Urban Fantasy Blog
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Fictitious Musings
Monday, May 27, 2012
Author Shiloh Walker’s Blog
Monday, May 28, 2012
A Great Book is the Cheapest Vacation
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
The Qwillery
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Book Girl of Mur-y-Castell
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Literary Escapism
Monday, June 04, 2012
Bibliophilic Book Blog
Tuesday, June 05, 2012
Steven’s Cybrary
Wednesday, June 06, 2012
Between Dreams and Reality
Thursday, June 07, 2012
From the Shadows
Friday, June 08, 2012
Seduced by Books
Monday, June 11, 2012
Bibliophilic Book Blog
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Book Lovers, Inc.
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
A Great Book is the Cheapest Vacation
Thursday, June 14, 2012
That’s What I’m Talking About
Friday, June 15, 2012
Fictitious Musings
Saturday, June 16, 2012
Insane Hussein
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Gizmo’s Reviews
Monday, June 18, 2012
Books Make Me Happy
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Ex Libris Book Reviews
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Pearls Cast Before A McPig
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Alise On Life
Friday, June 22, 2012
My Bookish Ways
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Book Faery
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Amberkatze’s Book Blog
Monday, June 25, 2012
I Smell Sheep
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
All Things Urban Fantasy
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Dark Faerie Tales
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Smexy Books
Friday, June 29, 2012
The Qwillery
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Babbling About Books & More
Sunday, July 01, 2012
Soap Box In My Mind
Monday, July 02, 2012
Urban Fantasy Investigations
Tuesday, July 03, 2012
Wicked Little Pixie
Friday, July 06, 2012
USA Today’s Happy Ever After Blog
BOOK SIGNING
Saturday, July 07, 2012
2:00PM
Dark Delicacies Book Store
3512 W. Magnolia
Burbank, CA 91505
Monday, July 09, 2012
Bitten By Books
Friday, July 13, 2012
Pearls Cast Before A McPig
STALKING THE OTHERS
It’s Coming For You
July 3rd, 2012
Pre-Order Now:
Amazon / Amazon UK / Amazon Canada
Barnes & Noble
Book Depository
Books-A-Million
Powells
Indiebound
Get a head start on the festivities! Join me tomorrow with my host, Jackie at Literary Escapism, at 6:30PM PST / 9:30PM EST to ask me anything about the H&W Investigations Series!
Call-in Number: 724.444.7444
Call ID: 93065
