Kenneth C. Goldman

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Kenneth C. Goldman

Goodreads Author


Born
Philadelphia, The United States
Website

Genre

Influences
Stephen King, Woody Allen, Dave Barry, classic American Lit.

Member Since
February 2008

URL


Ken Goldman had been a Philadelphia English and Film Studies teacher until he decided to take the money and run in order to seek fortune and fame. An affiliate member of the Horror Writers Association, he has extremely ostentatious homes on the Main Line in Pennsylvania and at the Jersey shore depending upon his mood and his need for a tan. His stories appear in over 785 independent press publications in the U.S., Canada, the UK, and Australia with over forty due for publication in 2015-2016. For some reason his book of short stories, YOU HAD ME AT ARRGH!! FIVE UNEASY PIECES BY KEN GOLDMAN (Sam's Dot Publishers) remained an all-time top ten best seller at The Genre Mall 2007-2011 until its closing. Damnation books published his very sensual ...more

Average rating: 4.32 · 883 ratings · 142 reviews · 93 distinct works · Similar authors
Of A Feather

3.71 avg rating — 114 ratings — published 2014 — 3 editions
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Desiree

4.15 avg rating — 13 ratings — published 2010 — 4 editions
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Donny Doesn't Live Here Any...

4.67 avg rating — 6 ratings — published 11 — 3 editions
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Dark Secrets

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it was amazing 5.00 avg rating — 4 ratings — published 2011
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Alternate Dimensions

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You Had Me at ARRGH!!

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Tales of Salt and Sorrow

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3.50 avg rating — 2 ratings — published 2011
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Poe 103

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More books by Kenneth C. Goldman…
Here are a few snippets from the reviews OF A FEATHER has received during its first month of its release :

OF A FEATHER is a diabolical and absorbing tale that takes wing early on and pulls the reader through the darkest of skies. The journey is astonishing and the destination, unforgettable."--Benjamin Kane Ethridge, Bram Stoker Award winning author of BLACK & ORANGE and NOMADS

What makes t... Read more of this blog post »
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Published on January 12, 2014 14:04 • 119 views • Tags: bird, fiction, goldman, horror, novel, review

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“A kiss is such an amazing thing -- So simple, so complex. The only human act that gives while it receives. Mouth to mouth, it almost seems the eating of one another. Maybe that’s all we are, food for each other. Why, I believe there’s a poem in there somewhere. Another kiss to inspire my muse, Desirée, and I’ll tell you something else you don’t know.”
Kenneth C. Goldman, Desiree

“From the short story (and anthology containing it) DONNY DOESN'T LIVE HERE ANYMORE :

Donny acted like he didn’t hear me. “You can’t send your mom off into eternity looking like that, Artie. She wouldn’t like it.” He reached into my mother’s casket, shoved his fingers into her mouth like it was the most logical thing in the world.

“Donny, you can’t --!”

“I’m just making her look right, Artie. It’s what she would want.” He tugged hard at my mom’s lips. I knew they were cold because I had kissed them a few moments earlier, and for a moment I felt convinced my friend had completely lost his mind. But when I looked inside Mom’s casket I knew Donny had done something only a best friend would think to do. My mother was smiling again. And she looked just the way I remembered her, the way I would always want to remember her. I got so choked up I couldn’t talk for a few minutes.

Finally I managed, “My mother always told me you could make her smile.”
Kenneth C. Goldman, Donny Doesn't Live Here Anymore

“From "Lady In Waiting" in the anthology The Morgue :

Now I have yet to meet the corpse could hold up its end of a conversation, so at most I might whistle while fixin’ one up ‘stead of engagin’ myself in any small talk that’s goin’ to be so one-sided anyways. But Cindy Flowers’ corpse weren’t no ordinary body when it walked upright, and it sure weren’t ordinary just because it was lyin’ before me in a pine wood box. So for the first time I felt the need to get a few things said to one of our visitors, and I leaned down to get myself real close to her face. Her eyes was closed ‘cause Pa had already sewed her lids shut.”
Kenneth C. Goldman, The Morgue: An Anthology

Polls

April 2014 Literary Horror Monthly Read

 
  8 votes 30.8%

 
  6 votes 23.1%

 
  5 votes 19.2%

 
  3 votes 11.5%

 
  3 votes 11.5%

 
  1 vote 3.8%

 
  0 votes 0.0%

26 total votes
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“Pinky Lumbers caught fire quicker than steak on a barbecue. He heaved and squirmed tryin' to scream, but his mouth was too crammed with bed sheet, so instead he just gagged. But his struggles didn't last long, and Honey and me, we just stood there and watched his flesh fold over on itself stinking like bad pork . . .”
Kenneth C. Goldman, You Had Me at ARRGH!!

“I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.”
Thomas A. Edison

“A kiss is such an amazing thing -- So simple, so complex. The only human act that gives while it receives. Mouth to mouth, it almost seems the eating of one another. Maybe that’s all we are, food for each other. Why, I believe there’s a poem in there somewhere. Another kiss to inspire my muse, Desirée, and I’ll tell you something else you don’t know.”
Kenneth C. Goldman, Desiree

“From the short story (and anthology containing it) DONNY DOESN'T LIVE HERE ANYMORE :

Donny acted like he didn’t hear me. “You can’t send your mom off into eternity looking like that, Artie. She wouldn’t like it.” He reached into my mother’s casket, shoved his fingers into her mouth like it was the most logical thing in the world.

“Donny, you can’t --!”

“I’m just making her look right, Artie. It’s what she would want.” He tugged hard at my mom’s lips. I knew they were cold because I had kissed them a few moments earlier, and for a moment I felt convinced my friend had completely lost his mind. But when I looked inside Mom’s casket I knew Donny had done something only a best friend would think to do. My mother was smiling again. And she looked just the way I remembered her, the way I would always want to remember her. I got so choked up I couldn’t talk for a few minutes.

Finally I managed, “My mother always told me you could make her smile.”
Kenneth C. Goldman, Donny Doesn't Live Here Anymore

“From "Lady In Waiting" in the anthology The Morgue :

Now I have yet to meet the corpse could hold up its end of a conversation, so at most I might whistle while fixin’ one up ‘stead of engagin’ myself in any small talk that’s goin’ to be so one-sided anyways. But Cindy Flowers’ corpse weren’t no ordinary body when it walked upright, and it sure weren’t ordinary just because it was lyin’ before me in a pine wood box. So for the first time I felt the need to get a few things said to one of our visitors, and I leaned down to get myself real close to her face. Her eyes was closed ‘cause Pa had already sewed her lids shut.”
Kenneth C. Goldman, The Morgue: An Anthology

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Kenneth Goldman Reviews for Ken Goldman's DONNY DOESN'T LIVE HERE ANYMORE

5.0 out of 5 stars Five great reads in one November 6, 2012
By N. Robinson
Format:Paperback
Donny Doesn't Live Here Anymore by Ken Goldman

Ken Goldman, is the author of more than 650 published stories, which makes me wonder why I feel a little cheated over this short story collection. I mean, if he's written so damned many, why tease the reader with only five? Whilst each tale is murderously brilliant in its own right, so why hold back Ken?

Donny Doesn't Live Here Anymore - This title story starts us off with a grisly tale about friendship and the lengths one man goes to keep the memory of his childhood friend alive despite the fact his friend is a downright psycho. This opener is a fantastic character study of devotion that ups the tension with each sentence until its twisted bitter end.

Hotline - What if a suicidal man gets a number wrong and doesn't get the help he seeks. What if he contacts a soul just as wretched as himself? A Hitchcock-esque piece in which pits two like-minded souls against each other until the eventual bloody outcome.

A Museum Piece - How could you get conjoined twins if they weren't born that way? A satisfying blend of deadly romance and witchcraft brought together in this humorous tale.

Sine Qua Non - A slightly farcical exploration in which Timothy tries his best to kill himself without much luck. Inventive to say the least. Again, Goldman brings a taste of Hitchcock to proceedings.

'Vette Fever- Balding? Beer gut? Sexless marriage? If you answered any of these, you're probably getting used to middle age by now. Why not a buy a sports car? And all your dreams can come true . . . A Stephen King type of story in which middle aged Wally finds his life inexplicably changing when he purchases a new Corvette for his birthday. I adored this story for its apologetic world changing strangeness; I don't even think it needed the downbeat ending. I think I would have much preferred it if Wally got to keep what he wanted, instead of choosing his sanity over his desires.

Ultimately I wanted more, so I think I'll have to track down some more of Mr Goldman's work to satisfy this emptiness I now feel.

5/5
------------------------------------------------------------
5.0 out of 5 stars First class horror October 30, 2012
By White Rose
Format:Paperback
Donny Doesn't Live Here Any More is a collection of stories which look deep into troubled minds, with gory and downright nasty results. The lead novella tells us about Donny, a boy who grows to be a man with a love of killing, animals, people, whatever comes his way. Donny slaughters his way through an ever growing number of victims, until the real scenario is revealed... stand by for the shock!
Hotline reveals what happens when a would-be suicide calls the wrong number, captures the imagination of the girl on the end of the phone and - well, just let's say the coffee shop won't ever be the same again.
A Museum Piece is a look into the minds of a group of girls touring a museum and what happens when one of them fully realises just what might lie behind the story of the conjoined skulls ... does magic really work? If so, we ought to be careful what we wish for!
Sine Qua Non takes us on a journey with a man determined to kill himself - somehow nothing goes to plan and the results are far from pleasant... and gives us a glimpse into a truly troubled mind.
'Vette Fever goes one step further and takes us into the darkness that is the mind of a middle aged man who wants to live again. The 'Vette he buys has other ideas...
Ken Goldman is known for writing dark stories that take you on journeys you may not wish to go. This collection delves into the depths of troubled minds and will make you look twice, if not three times, at any strangers you may meet... I loved it and I don't say that lightly.


Kenneth Goldman T.w. Brown's review Sep 13, 11

Read in February, 2010

I mentioned that I needed to read more stories from the Damnation Books label in a review I wrote months ago at BuyZombie.com. Desiree by Ken Goldman happily fits that bill. I am thrilled to say that this story not only reaffirms y belief that Damnation Books is producing quality, well-written and edited fiction, but it also makes me want to seek out more works by Mister Goldman.

Desiree is a novella that reads fast and makes you squirm all the way to the end. It is a slick, dark tale that sucks you right in. it has a touch of supernatural and resists the temptation to devolve into a generic slasher.

Desiree has an unknown ‘talent’ that is possibly the product of her mother’s breast milk—which continues to consume into her twenties—and a little old-fashioned chanting. I know! It made me feel a tiny bit icky writing that. I am not the type of reviewer or (shudder) critic who gives away the story. I simply share some relevant information and tell you whether or not I believe you should part with any of your hard-earned money to be entertained by this story. If the first sentence in this paragraph doesn’t have your curious…well what in the hell is wrong with you?

The title character, Desiree Chapelle is the unwitting kiss of death. Goldman has created a villain who isn’t even aware that she is leaving a swathe of death in her wake. At least initially. There is a lovely poem to begin chapter one, part one written by one of her ‘victims’, a young man named Leonard Dowbyrd.

Of course, somebody discovers Desiree’s dirty little secret. It sets up a nice conflict that has the potential to end bland and over done like just another 80s-era slasher. Mister Goldman does not succumb to temptation.


Kenneth Goldman House of Horror Review of Desiree By Ken Goldman (http://house-madam.blogspot.com)



Don't kiss Desiree Chappelle!

Desiree is a weird and wonderful tale by author Ken Goldman, of a young woman who literally possesses the kiss of death. Anyone who gets close enough to touch her lips becomes madly obsessed with Desiree up until the point she is practically controlling their every thought and move.

On the outside Desiree looks and acts like a normal beautiful young woman, but even at the age of thirteen, she was desired by almost every adolescent boy. They all strangely wanted to be near her.

The story begins at Tommy and Tamara’s (twins) thirteenth birthday party. The young teens decide to play a game of spin the bottle. Tommy finally gets his wish to kiss Desiree Chappelle but at what cost? As Goldman puts it, it was Tommy's best birthday ever, but it would also be his last.

Goldman then takes us through various points in the character’s life, winding strange little side tales within each section. There really are no chapters, just broken up sections. One thing that did annoy me about this layout, was that I occasionally got lost within the story because each section did not always follow suit. But it did make me go back to sections and made sure that I did not skip any parts. I did however like the twist that Goldman set up towards the end.

Desiree was published by Damnation Books in 2010, was edited and copy edited by Heather Williams and Penny Lockwood Ehrenkranz. The cover art was created by Julie D'arcy and the book layout by Ally Robertson.

Posted by Horror House Madam! at 16:12Desiree


Kenneth Goldman Withersin Magazine has reviewed “Desiree” with 5 stars. (http://www.withersin.com/review_desir...)

Here is the review :


I find that being ugly is great protection from killer hot chicks.
 
Desirée Chappelle has a problem: every time she kisses someone they commit suicide. Compounding this problem is the fact that she is overwhelmingly attractive and irresistible. She crosses paths with Tamara Drenoff throughout her life leaving dead brothers, friends, and lovers in her wake. Tamara doesn't know how the deaths happen but she knows that they are all related to Desirée. After her life falls apart on one long, terrible day she decides she'll stop Desirée. She doesn't have to kill her; Tamara just has to make her undesirable.
 
This short book just enwraps you from the start. It is a wonderful and engaging story that is fun to drink down in one big gulp. The non-linear timeline helped raise the tension and kept me reading. There were a few clunking bits of dialogue here and there but nothing that really upset the flow of the book. It is an interesting turn to have a young person ostracized for their good looks, though not directly, versus some other failing that plagues us as we grow.
 
Read it, it is good for you: 5 out of 5
 

Withersin Magazine Reviewer, Adam Armstrong is a writer and visual artist from Northern Kentucky. He is a voracious reader, reading roughly a hundred books a year and hundreds of short stories and articles in the small press. An obsessive autodidact he has learned to speak German and Spanish. He spends an unhealthy amount of time studying literature, visual arts, poetry, philosophy, and anatomy.Desiree


Kenneth Goldman Review of "You Had Me at ARRGH!!" by Cathy Buburuz for Gotta Write Network :

YOU HAD ME AT ARRGH!!
five uneasy pieces
by Ken Goldman
Reviewed by Cathy Buburuz
Illustrated by Tom Moran
Published by Sam's Dot Publishing
and available at the online store:
http://www.samsdotpublishing.com
Perfect Bound; 84 Pages
Cover Price, $6.00 U.S.

American horror writer Ken Goldman is no stranger to the Darkside. Over the years, he's entertained readers with an amazing number of tall tales that explore and underscore the shadowy depths of human nature.

This past decade, I've had the good fortune of discovering Ken's work in dozens of magazines and anthologies. His stories are relatively easy to find because he's enjoyed publication in no less than 450 publications over the years. In fact, his stories have received honourable mentions four times in The Year's Best Fantasy and Horror edited by Ellen Datlow and Terri Windling.

He often writes about society's aches and pains, about the common man, his weaknesses and his frail moments. His characters are designed to help you chill out, gross out, or freak out, and his stories often contain what I call 'Goldmanisms' - comical, entertaining, little phrases that are simply delightful. Here are just a few:

He was all over Honey like tar on a blacktop.

And I believe when opportunity knocks, she don't stay to ring the bell.

But Honey, she had too much smarts to chew bad cabbage twice, and for weeks it looked like them two was tight as grease on loose meat.

Like the old disco song, this place was raining men, all right, and amen to that.

Eventually black is everyone's color.

The release of hot semen seared through his prick as if he had ejaculated battery acid.

The YOU HAD ME AT ARRHG!! story collection promises five stories but delivers six for good measure.

The collection opens rather gently with "Deep Kiss Tuesday," a fine little invention that details the events of a particular night of the week that's charged with the expectations of romance. Readers will discover what can happen when two strangers meet and gear up for a romantic interlude on a deserted pier on their very first date.

The second story, "Wood River Honey" is much darker in tone and it's conveyed with what I lovingly refer to as 'a trailer court mentality'--great characterization. It focuses on an attractive, magnetic girl from Wood River Village who has a tendency to inspire in the males of that area much more than a crush, as relayed in brutal detail by the main character.

The third story, "Memories of Dragons Slain" is the polished diamond in this captivating coal bin of tall tales, the absolute best in this collection. It's a wonderfully written tapestry of magic and pain, gallantry and sorrow, just the sort of memorable story that can be enjoyed a few times over. It's about a damsel and a dragon, told by a knight, but it's so much more than that. It's a treasure, one of Goldman's best.

"More Than I'd hoped For, Less Than I'd Dreamed" opens in a 5th Avenue upscale singles bar with a scene reminiscent of a Bogie and Bacall moment. Two strangers meet, strike up a witty and tantalizing conversation and then discover that they share an instant attraction. Before long, all hell breaks loose in a brazen and bawdy eruption. Like others in this collection, this story has its fair share of revelations and special moments.

Next up is the woeful "Good Samaritan", about a man who goes for a midnight stroll after he's had his fill of life, pills, and Jack Daniels. Despite its brevity, the story succeeds with suspense, eye-openers, and a considerable amount of good old-fashioned impact.

"Skin Flick" - which I assume is the bonus story - isn't your typical wham, bam, thank you, ma'am affair. It's every man's worst nightmare personified, and it's quite likely the uneasiest of the six accounts presented here. It boasts a morbid sense of joviality yet when you cut it to it's core, it's no laughing matter at all. What it is, is the relentless Ken Goldman raking his readers over the coals--especially his male readers--only to drop them into a vat of boiling oil for good measure. If you like stories with no relief, this is the one for you.

When devoured in a single sitting, this collection is quite like a wild ride on an emotional roller coaster. It has lots of spills and chills which are further powered by a favourable number of impacting images by mega-talented illustrator Tom Moran. Ken and Tom both have a background in education, and both have served as teachers. And they both have a thing or two to teach us about a genre that has regained considerable popularity in recent years. They're masters of their craft, a twisted team of terror mongers, more than worthy of my accolades.

With 84 pages and a cover price of just $6.00, this little gem is a bargain. Highly recommended. This is, in fact, one of the top ten bestsellers at Sam's Dot Publishing http://www.samsdotpublishing.com/

~Cathy Buburuz
special to gottawritenetwork.com
January 5, 2008


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