That's what you get for messing with me, Tregillis One-Ear.

Twittertalking motherfucker.

Ceridwen wrote: "Fuck you, Ian Tregillis. Fuck you right in the ear. Your plan of Bubonicion: More Jealouser is totally working."

#achievementunlocked

Also, I swear to God, if UKL is there I will do Very Bad Things to Everyone I Know with my bare hands. This whole parenting shtick is not worth missing my Taoist Grandma at a con.

Fuck you, Ian Tregillis. Fuck you right in the ear. Your plan of Bubonicion: More Jealouser is totally working.

i mean, yeah, i know. they know what sells, i am sure. it's still, as you say, weird.

Wow. That is lovely. Did he also happen do a no longer usable cover for Necessary Evil?

Not that I would ever make an alternate skin for my own copy so they looked like a matches set. Not when the largest version I can find is 640x570.

also also: that cover is awesome and that blog is just so rich with irony. this cover won't sell book a, so let's build book b around it.

marketing!

i did! thanks.

also: obsequious little toads would be a good name for a band.

Ceridwen wrote: "No. He must draw me a dragon. Over the phone dragon."

Both of you, stop trolling me with your polite requests for over-the-telephone art.

No. He must draw me a dragon. Over the phone dragon.

:::spying on your comment on ceridwen's profile:::

JJP! i hope you tell him how amazingly awesome his cover for your book was. i mean, photo models with sci-fi crap affixed to their heads are fine too, but i likely wouldn't have read bitter seeds without that cover, because i am contrary to the will of the mass market like that.

if you have a minute, you can also ask him to draw me a dragon if you want.

Ceridwen wrote: "I hate you! Is he doing a cover for you??"

Nah. I wish. (Although speaking of which, therein lies a tale.) He's super busy, but we're trying to find a time to chat. About you, naturally.

I hate you! Is he doing a cover for you??

Ceridwen wrote: "WHUT? That's so cool! Did you tell him all about me?"

I'm saving that for the followup.... when we talk ON THE PHONE.

WHUT? That's so cool! Did you tell him all about me?

Elizabeth wrote: "Ha. You are also one of the authors who did not need any guidance from me on the subject. I'm glad you liked the discussion though. I thought it was pretty fascinating."

Very fascinating indeed! I still have a lot to learn about the minefield known as social networking (which is why I've mostly avoided it until now).

Ian wrote: "Very interesting discussion on your review today. I've found it very educational. I'm really glad I have the opportunity to listen in..."

Ha. You are also one of the authors who did not need any guidance from me on the subject. I'm glad you liked the discussion though. I thought it was pretty fascinating.

Elizabeth wrote: "May I please use this as my screen saver and put it in power points and maybe tattoo it on some of my colleague's arms (but only the ones who forget it a lot)? Attribution is unlikely."

Knock yourself out! You'll notice that I didn't attribute it to the original source; I think I heard it from some guy on the internet.

Very interesting discussion on your review today. I've found it very educational. I'm really glad I have the opportunity to listen in.

Ian wrote: "(Acknowledging that the plural of "anecdote" is not "data".) "

May I please use this as my screen saver and put it in power points and maybe tattoo it on some of my colleague's arms (but only the ones who forget it a lot)? Attribution is unlikely.

(view spoiler)[ (hide spoiler)]

Darynda wrote: "I think I've already told you this, but you have THE coolest website I have ever seen. LOVE!!!

Just an FYI. :)"

Thank you! You've made my web designer's day (and mine).

I think I've already told you this, but you have THE coolest website I have ever seen. LOVE!!!

Just an FYI. :)

Ian wrote: "They wore uniforms and said their vows in Klingon. "

True story: I know a couple who played the Deep Space Nine theme song for the first dance. We call it the Gay-Jewish-Korean-Star Trek wedding. It was bizarrely romantic.

Also, total lie about Abney Park. Not about the wedding, though. That's a true story.

Adrienne wrote: "I'll call Abney Park in the morning. (We're LIKETHIS.)"

How come you've only mentioned this now? Because I have, like, all of their CDs in my car. This is me feeling betrayed.

Funny thing about squirrels: total Star Trek fans. They wore uniforms and said their vows in Klingon.

Meanwhile, I'll be watching the squirrels from my office window. They're married.

I'll call Abney Park in the morning. (We're LIKETHIS.)

Really, though, about these squirrels. When you say "married," do you mean, like, by law? Or is this some anthropomorphic projection you're making about the nature of tree-dwelling rodent relationships? Because I'll be PISSED if two squirrels got dressed up and walked down the aisle and I didn't see it.

Adrienne wrote: "It's uuuuuh two forty-five and I was just wanted to remind you that Steampunk Expo is (probably) a good time and aaaah, you can wear a Hawaiian shirt. "

Actually, it does look kinda fun. All you need to do is convince Abney Park to play a gig there, and we'll talk. Meanwhile, I'll be watching the squirrels from my office window. They're married.

Ian wrote: "Greeeeat. Yeah, I'm gonna need you to go ahead and take care of Steampunk Expo all day Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Not half days, m'kay? I have a meeting with the Bobs in a few minutes."

Hi, Ian. It's uuuuuh two forty-five and I was just wanted to remind you that Steampunk Expo is (probably) a good time and aaaah, you can wear a Hawaiian shirt. If you'd like.

Greeeeat. Yeah, I'm gonna need you to go ahead and take care of Steampunk Expo all day Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Not half days, m'kay? I have a meeting with the Bobs in a few minutes.

Ian, heeeyyy. How's it goin. Listen, I, uh, wanted to kind of check in with you.

Is there any chance you could, say, come to OKC for the Steampunk Expo (Apr 15-17)? We kind of need to play catch-up. OK? Thaaaaaanks.

Kristie wrote: "It's amazing what I discover when I poke around Goodreads for longer than it takes to update my books. You can comment on a friend's profile? I somehow missed that.

Also, you're going to be back i..."

I'm not particularly savvy when it comes to social networking, so you'd be amazed at all the stuff I miss :-)

But anyway, yes! I am going to be in Mpls the weekend of November 12-14. Most of the weekend is already booked up, unfortunately, since it's a short trip. I'm doing another signing at Uncle Hugo's (a signing of opportunity, since I'll be nearby), though I expect turnout to be smaller, since I've already foisted my book on just about everyone I know :-)

It's amazing what I discover when I poke around Goodreads for longer than it takes to update my books. You can comment on a friend's profile? I somehow missed that.

Also, you're going to be back in town so soon? I'm so bad with the whole "keep in touch" thing. In any case, I've put it on my calendar. It'd be great to see you again!

Yes! You guys should come after and we'll have a big after-party! Or a small one! Whichever!

Also, you should put an event up on GR too, just to be your mom.

Ceridwen wrote: "Also, squee! You guys are coming soon!"

I'm excited! (As long as I don't have to suffer your foolishness, and explain tautologies as though they were hieratic truths.)

Melinda and I are signing at Uncle Hugo's on Saturday the 13th. Since that's close to you guys, can we swing by for a visit either before (pre 1pm) or after (post 2pm)?

Come to think of it, I ought to contact my zombie webmaster about getting that event on my website.

VirJon reminds me of somebody else I know who has OPD.

Also, squee! You guys are coming soon!

I think I can safely say that this VirJohn business is my favorite thing that has ever happened to me online. My friend Meredith said, and I totally agree, that if they sold haters like this in a gift shop, I would pay real money for one. But not in a slavery way, because that's wrong. Like plagiarism. And having Online Personality Disorder.

I'm afraid to go to my author page. But if I did go there, how would I do that thing you said? Also, how can I get GR to stop listing me (sometimes) as the author of one of GRRM's books?

You know, you can't see any reviews on your author page - er, I don't think you can anyway, I don't know what author pages look like for the authors. Anyway, in whatever editing function thing you have on your page, there should be a place to add and remove books, although again, I'm a little sketchy on the details. I could probably find a Goodreads Librarian to help you out, or you could poke around in the Goodreads Feedback group. (I did a bit, and there seems to be some topics about this problem.)

http://www.goodreads.com/group/show/1...

I'm always pumped as all get out when someone wrecks my floor scrubbing plans.

Ceridwen wrote: "So, not to be your mom, but you don't have Suicide Kings listed on your author page, and you should.

Also, you rock the Casbah. I hope you got back to NM okay."

I'm afraid to go to my author page. But if I did go there, how would I do that thing you said? Also, how can I get GR to stop listing me (sometimes) as the author of one of GRRM's books?

You guys are the rockingest hosts who ever rocked anything. Sorry I messed up your floor-scrubbing plans. And for not knowing when to S my WM. Thanks for all of your kindness (and for sitting through not one but 2 signings).

So, not to be your mom, but you don't have Suicide Kings listed on your author page, and you should.

Also, you rock the Casbah. I hope you got back to NM okay.

Thanks for the birthday greets! And no, you are not a jackass. Repeat after me: I am a strong and worthy person.

P.S. Those photos that Eh! took of Bitter Seeds were totally rad. Go Powell's!

Richard wrote: "Congratulations on the book launch, Ian! Looks like it's getting some great reviews, and a lot of excitement. I'm going to head over to the bookstore posthaste."

Thanks, dude. I really appreciate the kindness and support. From what I know, the book is probably at Barnes and Noble but not Borders. (I'm headed over to Borders later to find out...) Let me know where you do and don't find it!

BTW, I accidentally hit "yes" instead of "more" on your shill^H^H^H^H^H review of Bitter Seeds. I honestly wasn't trying to be a sock puppet. I feel badly about that.

Congratulations on the book launch, Ian! Looks like it's getting some great reviews, and a lot of excitement. I'm going to head over to the bookstore posthaste.

Ceridwen wrote: "...We were just on the phone with Rob planning wacky hijinks for your visit. You are warned of the impending awesomeness."

It's been a couple of years since I've experienced some good, home-town awesomeness. So, you know, no pressure or anything. Just sayin'. What with how long I've been gone and all. Some awesomeness would be, you know, awesome. Is what I'm saying.

Nah, whatever, you are almost bastard-free, drat you. We were just on the phone with Rob planning wacky hijinks for your visit. You are warned of the impending awesomeness.

Ceridwen wrote: "Hi Ian. I'm sorry I called you a fucking bastard in my non-review; I suck...."

How can I be upset when it's all too true? I am the bastardy-est.

Thanks for all the kind words and support. I really, really appreciate it.

Hi Ian. I'm sorry I called you a fucking bastard in my non-review; I suck. I really am super excited for your book, and I promise I will post no incriminating or non-incriminating photos here or anywhere. Squee!