Rosemary Clement-Moore's Blog
August 2, 2016
Why five? Because I was going to post this on Friday, so it was supposed to be a “Five on Friday” kind of thing. Only I didn’t, and it’s Tuesday, and Two on Tuesday is too few (say that five times fast), and Ten on Tuesday is too many. So five it is.
I have an article up on the DFW Writers Workshop Site (link: dfwwritersworkshop.org). I was really really stuck about what to write, so I wrote about what to do when you’re really stuck about what to write. Well, first I polled the workshop members who were still at IHOP when I got this brilliant idea of how to make other people do the work of my blog post for me. Anyway, go read it. There’s some good advice in there, and only a little bit of it was from me.
Perseids Meteor Shower over Snowy Range in Wyoming ©️David Kingham — DavidKingham.com
#2. The Perseids meteor shower reaches it’s peak on August 12th. When I lived in the country, Mom, Dad, and I would lay outside (drenched in Backwoods Off, obviously) and watch them, far away from the light pollution of the city. We could see the Milky Way on a good night, too.
I’m not investment-level into stargazing, but rather one of those people who only gets into something when something cool happens. (Like the World Cup, or the Olympics.)
But my point is, I want to drive out of town to somewhere I can watch these as if I knew anything about them.
What I’d really like to do is rent a camper van, pack up the dog, and maybe the mom, and go find a campground. Provided the campground has electricity and a bathroom with showers and flushing toilets. I mean, let’s not get ridiculous.
That’s the way my family camped when I was a kid, and, I don’t know, it appeals to my inner hippie. As long as I get back to civilization now and then to get a flat white and a croissant.
This Science Fiction and Fantasy convention was where I made my debut as a professional writer type. I’ve missed a couple of years, but I’m really excited to be going back. And also… I might be debuting something new once again. #mysterious (fencon.org)
#4. SIRENS CONFERENCE
I never make a big enough deal about the Siren’s Conference, an annual symposium on women in fantasy and science fiction that has become one of the highlights of my year. Symposium sounds very hoity-toity, but imagine a small con (SFF con) full of people who you’d actually seek out in the bar, who don’t want to promote anything, they just want to sit around and talk about books, and maybe analyze how they fit into, reflect, or have the potential to change society. All the info is here: sirensconference.org. The site explains it better than I can. But anyway, I’m going to that.
#5. The movie theater
Star Trek Beyond
I already went to see this. You should go see this if 1) you like the original TV series but didn’t care for the first two NewTreks; 2) like science fiction with a heaping great wollop of really cool stuff. I think my friend Sally said it best: it doesn’t try to be anything but what it is, which is an adventure with a starship that goes where no one has gone before, gets the crap kicked out of them by something they’ve never seen, and then has to use their collective and individual skills to get themselves out of their jam. Oh, and save this incredibly cool space station in the process. Also? Cool, kickass girl alien, Kirk/Spock/Bones banter, and an overall message that there is strength in unity.
Star Trek Beyond :: Yes, this is your mother’s Star Trek, which is why it’s so awesome.
And I am not at all influenced by the fact that Bones, my favorite character, got to actually do cool stuff in this movie.
Don’t listen to the haters. It’s not perfect, but it’s clever and entertaining. Which is exactly my feeling about the first one. The original now has the glow of nostalgia, but it was a ridiculous and fun movie. This one is the same. Incidentally, Melissa McCarthy and Kristen Wiig are kind of hit and miss with me, but I loved McCarthy and Wiig’s character was likable. Leslie Jones was awesome, but Kate McKinnon stole the show as Holtzmann.
I don’t particularly care if we get a big screen sequel, but let’s talk about a reboot of The Real Ghostbusters animated series. Please?
July 4, 2016
My mother has been eagerly awaiting the release of Independence Day: Resurgence. And by “eagerly awaiting,” I mean that she started texting me links to the trailer in January.
As soon as last week’s Movie Momentary went up, she started in. “Well, now we have to go see Independence Day.” And I’m like, “Mom, you can talk during a movie in the theater.” And she’s all, “I’ll talk quietly. Or we’ll talk about it after. And you can tax deduct the tickets.”
So we go to the movies.
First show of the day at Rave Movie Theater at the North East Mall. I didn’t know this when I picked the place, but they have actual recliners for seats. Like, I don’t have chairs this nice in my house. There are also five people in the theater, including us, so the talking thing isn’t such a problem.
Which is a good thing, because seriously, the first big alien ship that shows up, Mom is like, “THIS IS THE BEST MOVIE EVER.”
Me: Mom, don’t be a ham just to get on the blog.
Mom: I’m not. I love this movie.
Me: Nothing has happened yet.
Mom: But there’s Jeff Goldblum and this giant spaceship. LOOK HOW GIANT IT IS.
An aside about my mother’s feelings about Jeff Goldblum: It took me a stupid long time to realize that mom has a “thing.” I only realized why when Goldblum got older. He bears a resemblance to my dad—tall and loose-limbed, dark-haired and dark-eyed, a little rawboned in the face, and usually playing the absentminded genius type. I see it—and now even the thought of Earth Girls Are Easy squicks me out.
Anyway, most of Mom’s comments were along these lines. (She doesn’t get out to see movies on the big screen very often.)
Mom: I can’t believe how good these special effects are!
Me: *viewing the screen askance as people and boats and the pacific ocean are getting sucked up toward the spacecraft because it’s so big it has its own gravity.* I don’t think that can happen.
Mom: It’s so big it has its own gravity. They said so.
Me: That doesn’t change physics because Jeff Goldblum said it.
Mom: *pout* Why do you have to spoil everything with your stupid “science.” (The airquotes are a direct quote.)
Then Doctor Oaken from the first movie comes out of his coma (spoiler) and acts all crazy because people who had close encounters (ha!) with the aliens 20 years ago have visions and stuff (spoiler).
Mom: That’s Data!
Me: Yeah, Mom. He’s the guy who got the tentacles wrapped around his throat in the first move. The one at Area 51.
Mom: I know that. I mean, I didn’t know that was Data from Star Trek.
Now, just to put this in perspective, Independence Day has, for the last 20 years, played maybe every other month on TV, usually on back to back showings. There’s like four days straight of it around July 4th. And my mother will watch it Every. Single. Time. She also owns it on DVD and iTunes, it’s recorded on the DVR, and frequently on Netflix. So at a conservative estimate, Mom has seen this movie 500 times. It’s her comfort food of movies, and wallpaper when she’s puttering and alone in the house.
But she’d never noticed that was Data until now.
Me: Are you even embarrassed that you didn’t know this?
Mom: *pause* A little.
So, fighter fights, bombing runs, sundry implausible schemes by Jeff ugh-my-mother’s-crush Goldbloom. Then the Queen Alien gets her ship blown up, and she dons her going out on the town bio-organic armor and stomps over to the bunker. She’s huge. And she’s got these tentacles whipping around, and the ground shakes beneath her as she makes her relentless way to the McGuffin.
Me: “Get away from her, you bitch.”
Mom: What? Was that from something?
Mom: You’re so weird.
Oak, meet acorn.
Happy Independence Day to my fellow Americans. In the words of Abraham Lincoln:
June 28, 2016
This weekend, Mom and I watched The Force Awakens. She hadn’t seen it before, which is not unusual because I have to preview most things so I can tell her everything is going to be okay. Sort of like her personal Does The Dog Die. It’s a good system for us. I can reassure her, and I get at least one uninterrupted viewing.
Because Mom usually has a lot to say.
Speaking of SPOILERS (which I will be; this is your warning)…
As the opening crawl appears, I’m debating how much to tell her. This is my job, after all. I figure, I’ll get the basics out of the way, and let the details unfold.
Me: So, you should know, a major character gets killed.
Me: You know it has to happen. Obi Wan had to die in the first one so Luke could do his Hero’s Journey thing.
Mom: Luke dies??????
Mom: Is it Leia?
Mom: *thinks* Is it Han?
Me: Yes. *watches warily for reaction*
Mom: Oh, well. He’s gotten really old anyway.
[I would have called that a burn, but it was too cold.]
Finn gets shot at, nearly blasted. Entire planets blow up. Cantina Castle implodes.
Mom: DON’T LOSE LUKE’S LIGHTSABER.
Me: Jeez, Mom. Priorities.
Mom: If that lady with the glasses kept it in a box all this time, it must be important. Does she die? I really like her. Get on the Internet and find out.
Kylo Ren gets emo while the Darth Vader music plays. Cut to reveal Darth Vader Mask.
Mom: Wait. So he’s Luke’s son?
Me: No, Mom. He’s Han’s kid.
Mom: How… but how is Vader his grandfather then?
Me: He’s Han and Leia’s kid.
Mom: Really? Huh. I can’t picture them as good parents.
Me: Apparently they weren’t.
Also could have used a haircut.
Mom: *pause* He really needs a haircut.
Finn and Kylo Ren fight at the end.
Mom: Does he (meaning Finn) die?
Mom: Does she (meaning Rey) die?
Mom: Does the bad guy (meaning Kylo Ren) die?
Mom: *pause* Well, that’s disappointing.
Big awesome fight between Ren and Rey.
Mom: (re: Kylo Ren and Rey) They’re brother and sister.
Me: We don’t know yet.
Mom: No, I’m saying, I bet they’re brother and sister.
Me: They won’t do that. They already did that with Luke and Leia.
Mom: I don’t know. They keep rebuilding the Death Star with an access tunnel.
The credits roll.
Mom: Well, I’m glad the Hilter guy died.
Me: He didn’t die, Mom. The Supreme Leader Gollum told him to take a ship and get Kylo Ren and meet him.
Mom: *sigh* What I want to know is why are there so many people who want to be the supreme ruler. Sauron, and Voldemort, and the Emperor, now this guy. Why do all these guys want to be in charge? Where do they come from?
Me: Trump Tower, I think.
Mom: That’s not funny. She notices I’ve been taking notes. You’re not going to Tweet this, are you?
Me: I think I’m going to start a blog thing. I’ll call it a “Mom-entary.” What do you think?
Mom: I think that’s too much pressure on me. Just make me seem funny and nice.
Me: Not a problem. [Note: I didn’t make any of this stuff up.]
Mom: And don’t tell them that I called Han Solo old. I think he’s younger than me.
Me: Actually, I think he’s older.
Mom: Well, that’s a relief.
Be nice in the comments, she may read this to keep me honest.
June 27, 2016
Welcome to Read Rosemary Central, homebase for author Rosemary Clement-Moore (plus screennames, @readrosemary, @rclementmoore, and rosemaryclement.com). I write novels (Sprit and Dust, Texas Gothic) and blog here at least once a month. Accept no immitations.
You can also find me on Twitter, Facebook, and you can email me at rosemary at rosemaryclement dot com.
June 3, 2016
I passed the 1k pin mark on my Pinterest board (link). Not that many in the grand scheme of things, but considering I started just to have a few boards for my most recent books. Spirit and Dust, for example. (link) Then I pinned some inspiration for my next project, and then I just started adding stuff I liked, and now it’s sort of all over the place. Just like my brain.
I’m pretty sure this makes me less cool than Tumblr, but I like the pinboard concept and also to pretend I’m going to do one of those IKEA hacks to turn two bookcases and a shower rod into a bunkbed fort. (No, I don’t have kids. Why do you ask?)
So what’s on my mind right now? Judging by the majority of my pins, I must be writing a book about a spinster dog-lady who solves crime while knitting, during a yacht race at a Rennaisance Faire (or possibly a costume party), in Cornwall, keeping her notes in a DIY planner, all while her house is being redecorated in cottage-shabby-post-hipster style. Oh, and she thinks she’s going to do workouts to flatten her abs and tone her tush, but probably won’t, juding by how many recipes for cheesecake she’s collected.
Okay, this isn’t really a clue to what I’m working on. This is just stuff I like—knights and dragons, historical clothes, ships, books, Jane Austen, fan stuff… There are also a lot of pins on the writing board and so. much. knitting.
But UNLIKE all the medical supply ads that pop up in adsense ever since I looked up the Hurry-cane for my grandmother, I’d say my Pinterest board is pretty on target with the major things that free associate in my brain.
The top five (not counting books or wrting, because obviously):
Journals, books, and pens
Knights, armor, archers, and general badassery
Gorgeous historical fairy tale looking clothes
So. Much. Yarn.
Man. That is a fraction of what’s in my brain.
SO what would be on your mental pinboard? Any hobbys or current obsessions?
May 11, 2016
You guys all know about BookBub, right? Because if you don’t, you’re missing out.
Basically it’s a site that lets you know when e-books go on sale—you know how sometimes a book will drop to .99 or so, but just for a day? Great for the author, great for the reader. But how do you make sure you don’t miss these specials?
Go to BookBub.com and pick the genres that interest you and you’ll get an email every morning telling you what bargains you may want to check out. You can follow particular genres and also get alerts for specfic authors.
ANyway, I’ve been planning to blog about it for awhile, but finally bumped “sometime” to “today” because Agatha Christie’s And Then There Were None is on sale for $1.99 . It’s probably one of Christie’s most famous novels, maybe because it’s had a lot of movie adaptations (like the most recent on Lifetime TV, which was deliciously creepy), as well as the stage play. (The current edition of the play changes the “Ten Little Indians” poem to “Ten Little Soldier Boys.” I think the book still uses the less PC version. Some of the characters voice some not so policically correct observations, but some of the characters may also be murderers, so, you know… there’s that.)
I love Agatha Christie’s mysteries, and they are on my regular reread rotation. They’re like comfort food in book form. (I feel the same way about Barbara Michaels/Elizabeth Peters.) I enjoy reading new things and discovering new authors, but there’s something soothing about sinking into something you already know you’re going to enjoy.
ANYway. Bookbub can save you a ton of money…but it’s actually cost me money because at less than $2, I’ll buy something that I would normally look for in the library. (All hail the library. Don’t torrent ebooks, please! That’s piracy and it does not help your favorite authors. It does help us if you go to your library. Here endeth the PSA.)
Wait, where was I? Oh yeah. I fall right into the marketing plan here, because I’ll discover a new author this way (or an old author I haven’t read yet) and then I’ll have to buy their new stuff (even if I don’t get around to reading it until it’s old stuff). And of course at that price I’ll put the trigger quickly, as opposed to how I usually spend my book budget. Curse you One-click.
Oh well. It’s still cheaper than a daily Starbucks habit. And less calories, too.
The YA book bargains today include: (link) Kody Keplinger’s (The DUFF) new book Lying Out Loud for $2.99, and also (link) Megan Shepherd’s (The Madman’s Daugther) new book The Cage for $1.99. Yes, those are also my purchases today. *sigh*
I try not to sign up for all the newletters in the world, but Bookbub it totally worth it. I get a really loooong email every morning because I have wide reaching tastes. I’m on a mystery/thriller binge lately, though. (I would love to find another twisty mystery like Gone Girl, but maybe with more likeable characters. Any recommendations?)
So, what genres or authors are you going to put on your watchlist? Post your favorite type of books (cozy mysteries? thrillers? paranormal romance?) in the comments and I’ll pick a name out of a hat for a $5 gift card to the ebook retailer of your choice.
May 3, 2016
I don’t go to the doctor unless my mother makes me.
Let’s be clear on this. It’s not that I’m afraid of the doctor. I just need hard evidence that there’s something wrong with me before I feel professional intervention is justified. It’s the only way I can be sure I’m not just being a wimp.
Picture is not related. I just like it.
This doesn’t mean I’m stoic about pain or sickness. I’ll whine about it plenty. Well, I’ll whine until Mom says, “Have you taken anything for it?”
So, last week I’m trying to work but I have this mosquito bite (or something) on my finger that’s very distracting. And then it’s very painful. And then it’s very red and puffy. But no way am I going to the doctor just because I have an owie on Mr. Pinky. Pass the ibuprophen and the Neosporin.
Yeah, I also have a hard time admitting I can’t just fix everything myself.
Only it’s like I’m suddening in Zac Snyder’s DC verse, and I’ve got this germ like General Zod, and the Neosporin is like the army tanks, and my white corpuscles are like Superman, and my finger is Metropolis.
And Mom is like, “You need to go to the doctor.”
And I’m like, “Pshaw. I’ll just look up how to treat this at home.”
And WebMD is like, “You have a flesh-eating bacteria and your finger is going to fall off.”
And I’m like, “Hello, doctor’s office? I’d like to make an appointment, please.”
Besides, I couldn’t wait anymore for it to get better on it’s own, because I couldn’t type. Or write. Or sleep. Or do anything but hold my hand up in the air to keep it from throbbing.
So what’s the moral of the story? I really really hate to say it, but…the moral of the story is listen to your mother when she says go to the doctor. Some things aren’t meant to be DIY.
April 18, 2016
The only thing that makes pop culture iconography better is when it involves Cookie Monster. Like the Siri/iPhone commercial where CM is waiting impatiently for Siri to count down the timer for his cookies in the oven. I have this theory that as adults we love CM as much as (or more than) we did as kids, because we’re all a little bit Cookie Monster, really, deep inside.
Apple just released the outtakes from the filming of that commercial. I have a bad feeling this is exactly how I’d be on set. Or in real life. Or all the time. So, enjoy.
April 8, 2016
Back in the days I had an allowance and few financial responsiblities, I briefly became a collector of things. The seeds, I suppose, were planted by my childhood collection of Star Wars action figures (which met a tragic end in an alluminum storage building one blistering Texas summer), and the all star cast of Barbie and friends who acted out my early storytelling efforts, before being relegated to the attic where a family of squirrels nested in their Interstellar Luxury Cruiser, aka Barbie Dream Mobile Home.
But in general, I collected things to use, not things to put on a shelf. (Books, obviously, being the exception.) But like many youngsters with money and time on their hands, I fell into bad company. By which I mean the best company, but a company of enablers.
There were four of us, who met in a fan fiction chat room, as one does when you’re in school and procrastinating that term paper. Two were already master hunters and gatherers of collectibles, and they soon showed CM and me the ways of the Force.
See, it wasn’t just about owning the thing. It was the stalking of the prey and the tireless pursuit once started. Trips to every Toys R Us in Birmingham, crawling under independent toy store shelves to see if just maybe they had that one Breyer Arabian way back behind the others. And eBay. Good God, eBay. You never saw someone so good at the Gamesmanship of the Snipe as my friend S.
At first I was content to come along for the ride. But I’m a nerd, which means there is a larger than average world of things for me to collect. First there was that Eowyn action figure…and so I had to get Aragorn. And Legolas came with a horse. And speaking of horses, there are Breyers, where the only grooming required is a bit of dusting now and then.
Obviously you couldn’t have a Rogue action figure without a Magneto Gambit action figure, and that Victorian Christmas Barbie’s green velvet bustled gown is exactly what you would wear if you were a Victorian lady at Christmas. Other people gamble. I played to find a gem at a price that fit in my grad student budget.
But collecting takes time and money and space, and when you chuck everything to become a starving artist, you don’t really have any of those. You have way better things—but you have to clear out temporal, financial, and emotional space for them.
And let’s face it. Keeping things Mint in Box takes up a lot of room.
Long story long, my toys collectibles now have a size and monetary limit. Because I’m an adult that way.
So, back to eBay, in the circular way of things. I’ve just gotten back from the post office where I said a nostalgic farewell to 1998 Portrait Edition Princess Leia in the Medal Ceremony Gown from the end of Star Wars.
In the end it was less painful than immediately saying farewell to the money she brought me, as I sent it off to pay my taxes.
In the immortal words of Sir Paul McCartney: “Hello Goodbye.”
April 6, 2016
I’m not saying I’m lazy, but sometimes it’s a lot of trouble getting up off my couch.
For one thing, it’s an old couch—well, love seat, really—and it doesn’t look like a sinkhole, but like a lot of older things, it’s not as springy as it used to be. Especially when you’ve been smooshed into the corner for a few episodes of Agents of Shield on Netflix. And by “a few” I mean long enough to get the “Are you still watching?” message. (Don’t judge. We all have our days.)
Also, I’ve got an ottoman pushed up against the front of it. This isn’t for me–my legs are short enough that I can sit comfortably sideways. It’s for the dog, who insists on being next to me whether it’s convenient or not. Usually not. But because I don’t want her (or anything else, like my snacks) to fall into the crack between the ottoman and the couch, I put this very specific quilt over both, and my legs hold it in place. And then Penny insists on being covered up by another very specific blanket. And then I often have my laptop on my, well, lap.
Which is all to say that every time I have to get off the couch, even just to pour another cup of tea, I have to set aside my laptop where it won’t get stepped or sat on, kick off one afghan, swing my legs over the dog, over the ottoman, which pushes me further into the La Brea Cushion Pit so that I have to shove myself up and out, somehow managing not to scoot the sofa back, the ottoman forward, or dislodge the quilt-hammock and drop Penny into the couch chasm.
That’s assuming she doesn’t jump up and start bounding around the sofa trying to grab the afghan and pull it back over herself, or just generally make a nuisance of herself.
I tell you all this because it is not at all infrequent that I wish I had a house elf to bring me a cup of tea. Then I feel guilty for wishing I had a house elf. So I wish I had Mrs. Weasley’s domestic spell skill set so I could just accio a nice cuppa without it becoming a whole production. Because of course once the dog is disturbed, there’s no guarantee she’ll settle down again soon. (In fact, it’s almost a certainty that as soon as I’m ensconced once more, and have rearranged the ottoman/quilt/afghan/laptop to their original positions, she will ask to go outside.)
Anyway. This is what made me think about the conveniences of magic. (I mean, more than I usually think about how cool it would be to have magic.) Yeah, it would be something to be the Dark Lord and take over the world and all, but enough
Shhh. I’m undercover(s).
money will let you do the same thing. What intrigues me–and this is why I’m a writer, I guess–in any fantasy or high-tech science fiction world is the way it would affect daily life. The way you brush your teeth or make your bed or call for a taxi.
The fact that (other than the ability to apparate or the invention of a transporter, and even then maybe not) the spell I find myself wishing for most is the “accio” spell. You know, for those times when the remote control is…just…out…of…reach.
Not because I’m lazy, though.
Just because it would be cool.