Cherie Priest's Blog, page 74

February 1, 2011

So today was … uncomfortable … on a number of levels. To give you the short version: my doctor had some concerns, ordered some tests, and I had a (oh let's say) lower abdominal ultrasound today to check for potential problems (yes, I'm leaving this vague).

I'll spare you the suspense – everything seems fine. I can resume worrying about the usual stuff, and not entertaining day-mares wherein my ladyparts mutate, achieve singularity, and begin hunting Sarah Connor.

And actually, the ramp up to this exam was much worse than the exam itself. Why? Because the woman in my doctor's office who booked the appointment gave me the wrong time. (I know. For a fact. I still have the little card she gave me, so it's not just my word against hers.) The woman at the ultrasound/x-ray/whatnot station was very understanding; she asked around, and found out that even though I was an hour late (technically), they could still work me in. In a few minutes. Or longer. Would that be okay?

Ordinarily, I would've offered a hearty, "Sure!" and then busted out my phone to play Bejeweled or check Twitter or whatever. But not today. Today I only squeaked out, "I guess. And thanks."

Drat my uncanny ability to follow directions … because precisely one hour before my appointment time, I'd downed 32 ounces of water. (They wanted a "full bladder" for the ultrasound, and were very firm on this point.) I struggled to keep the phrases "water balloon" and "time bomb" from colliding in my brain or coming out of my mouth, sat down, and tried to get zen.

Do you know how hard it is to forget that you have to pee really bad? Sure you do. Hey, we've all been there. But you know what makes it EXPONENTIALLY HARDER? Two hugely pregnant women who come sit next to you, giggling about how they have to pee all the time now that they're eight months along, and cruelly getting up to go hit the washroom every five minutes, then coming back and talking about it.

Sample Conversation:

Pregnant Person #1: Junior is kicking my bladder like a soccer ball!

Pregnant Person #2: Mine's tap-dancing on my kidneys!

Pregnant Person #1: You're making me want to pee again!

Pregnant Person #2: I totally have to pee again already!

Pregnant Person #1: I bet we've peed, like, a gallon apiece today!

Pregnant Person #2: TWO GALLONS APIECE!

Pregnant Person #1: Hey, we should keep score!

Pregnant Person #2: All right, starting now!

Pregnant Person #1: Yay! Let's go pee!

And in my head I'm all "LADIES PLEASE – SOME OF US ARE DYING OVER HERE." But I didn't say anything because they seemed really sweet and cute, and I'm sure they had no idea how much they were KILLING ME … unless being pregnant had given them PSYCHIC POWERS, in which case they are huge douchebags who DESERVE the kind of fetal passengers who will grow up to be CHAMPION NFL PUNTERS. I'm just saying.

Anyway. Right when I had quite literally decided that I was only human and I could not possibly survive long enough to get back there and undressed and ultrasounded, and I stood up to ask the nice lady if I could just reschedule so I could go make like a broken water main … a very kind tech-lady came to my rescue. I got in. I got the first half of the ultrasound, and then was FINALLY ALLOWED TO GO PEE.

It was the highlight of my day. No lie.

Well, that and being told that everything was fine.

(But mostly the peeing.)

[Crossposted from my website. If you'd like to comment, you can do so either here or there.]

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Published on February 01, 2011 01:50 • 56 views

January 30, 2011

The other day, I told someone that I hadn't been invited to Norwescon this year, and the message has been going around. But this was a mistake on my part, as they did in fact invite me a few months ago – and I simply forgot. I haven't attended Norwescon in several years, and didn't intend to go this year – so I inadvertently, completely, put it out of my head.

I have my reasons … mostly having to do with the host hotel. I will consider giving that event another day in court the day it opts to camp out someplace else for the weekend; but I will not be giving that hotel even one slim dime of my money, ever again, for Norwescon or anyone else.

Anyway, I feel bad and a little dumb about having misspoken, and I wanted to make a public correction to the matter. So there you go.

[Crossposted from my website. If you'd like to comment, you can do so either here or there.]

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Published on January 30, 2011 19:04 • 30 views

Sorry, can't blog anything meaty right now. I'm scraping up an 80s-themed outfit for the DEBBIE GIBSON vs. TIFFANY extravaganza which is Mega Python vs. Gatoroid. It's Richelle's fault. She's the one hosting the screening.

Got my legwarmers and my oversized sweater. Now where the hell are my banana clippies and jelly bracelets …?

[Crossposted from my website. If you'd like to comment, you can do so either here or there.]

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Published on January 30, 2011 00:20 • 32 views

January 28, 2011

Thank you manyfold to the wonderful folks who showed up at U-Books last night for Official Bloodshot Shenanigans! The crowd was great, books were sold, dirty words were deployed, and I had feathers in my hair. GOOD TIMES. All because you folks were kind enough to swing by and check it out.

Just before leaving for the event yesterday – as if a good omen were required – I got wind that The Agony Column has reviewed Bloodshot quite favorably … and I was tickled, because TAC gave me my first serious review of my first novel, lo these many years ago. It just felt like something coming full circle, you know?

And seeing that review prompted me to take an immodest break in order to update my Reviews page, because sometimes these things need to be taken care of. Still, it feels peculiar. "Oh, look … I've found a horn, and I do believe it's mine! Please listen raptly as I toot it …"

Anyway. Lots of work to do today, including housework, some laundry, cleaning of the fish tank, and plenty more hours spent chiseling away at the day-job project that never ends. Have a good weekend, everyone, and I'll catch up to you on the flip side.

[Crossposted from my website. If you'd like to comment, you can do so either here or there.]

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Published on January 28, 2011 17:52 • 41 views

January 27, 2011

Don't forget – tonight at 7:00 p.m. I'll be out at the University Book Store (on the UW campus), for Bloodshot's First! Big! Official! Debut!* I, for one, am looking forward to it. Of course I will be happy to sign other books (of mine) and take Q&A on any given project (people always ask, so I want to mention this upfront).

In other Bloodshot-y news, there's an interview with yours truly on the subject – plus a chance to enter to win a free signed copy (or ten? I forget how many I sent back) over here at Suvudu. So if you're feeling broke, or cheap, or curious but unwilling to invest in the book … go throw your hat in the ring and see if you get lucky.

As for me, I have day-job work which must be attended to, and some serious housework to wrap up before the weekend – so I'm going to log off for the day (more or less) and see about being productive before tonight's shenanigans. I hope to see some of you there!

* Originally typo'd, "Debug!" which is hilarious and I would've left it in, except I didn't want to confuse anyone.

[Crossposted from my website. If you'd like to comment, you can do so either here or there.]

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Published on January 27, 2011 19:18 • 54 views

January 26, 2011

Got a lot on my plate today, including a (routine) doctor's appointment breaking up the work flow … but I do have a number of things I want to mention before my morning really gets off the ground.

Perhaps most pressingly: Tomorrow evening at 7:00 p.m. I'll be appearing at the University Book Store (the usual spot at the main branch, UW campus). This will be the First Official Bloodshot event* and I, for one, am totally psyched about it! Duane always throws a hell of a shindig, and this time I'm virtually guaranteed to read a whole lot of dirty words into a microphone … just a few short yards from the children's department.

Now. With that out of the way, I present unto you, LINKS. Enjoy!

Or tolerate, as the case may be.

Seeing (Cheshire) Red – Over at the B&N forums, Paul Goat Allen is entirely too kind. He's written a recommendation so strong that it's almost embarrassing … but not so embarrassing that I can stop myself from linking to it.

Clementine now available as an audiobook – Voila!

See also: Those Who Went Remain There Still – Also now on audio. This isn't a Clockwork Century story; it's my short horror novel set in Kentucky with cave monsters, feuding hillbillies, and the ghost of Daniel Boone. reviews Bloodshot – And I did a little giggle to note that their very same "excerpt sample quote" is the one someone over at Goodreads picked as lol-worthy, too.

Quickie interview w/yours truly – Over at – Now with Bonus! alarming true facts.

* Yes, we had Bloodshot copies in Michigan – but we were breaking street date. This is the first event of its official, formal release. AND my first local event for this book!

[Crossposted from my website. If you'd like to comment, you can do so either here or there.]

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Published on January 26, 2011 17:58 • 56 views

January 25, 2011

Today is the day, people — the wait is over! Obsessive-Compulsive vampires! Cuban-American drag queens! Men In Black! Government conspiracies! Foul language! Adventure! Dirty jokes! SOMETHING FOR EVERYONE!

Yes, on this fine morning my very first urban fantasy officially lands in bookstores — brick-and-mortar, ebook vendors, audiobook suppliers, and all other venues through which one might wish to acquire a story about a former flapper and daughter of a Pinkerton detective turned undead jewel thief with a bitchy, spangled sidekick.

If any of this sounds like it might be up your alley, I sure do hope I can persuade you to pick up a copy in the format of your choice, from your preferred book purveyor, at your earliest convenience. For you see, this was a hella-fun project and I, for one, would love to see this become a longer series than is presently scheduled.

One sequel is definitely coming (Hellbent, slated for the end of August); but the better (and faster) Bloodshot sells, the greater are the odds that Bantam will want to publish more of them down the line. IT IS MATH. You can't argue with math.

So! If you are uncertain about something as far removed from what I usually write as oh, say, disco and adorable homeless punk children and parkour addicts named "Trevor" … you can always take this opportunity to go read a FREE SAMPLE of this book right here at

Go on. Click. Read it. I'll wait.

[:: twiddles thumbs ::]

You back now? Want to take a chance on it?

Want to find out what's going on with that blind vampire? The covert warehouse? The stubborn squatters? The super secret government program and its batch of supernatural subjects? Well then. Allow me to be of assistance!

Order signed/personalized copies of Bloodshot from the University Book Store in Seattle

Find Bloodshot at

Find Bloodshot at Barnes & Noble

Find Bloodshot at Third Place Books

Find Bloodshot at Powell's

Find Bloodshot at

Find Bloodshot at Chapters/Indigo for Canadian buyers

Pick up Bloodshot as an ebook from any of the vendors and in any of the formats on the right-hand column of this page

Nab Bloodshot as an audio book – even on CD! – through any of the outlets you see on the right-hand column of THIS page

And thank you SO MUCH everyone, everywhere, for reading. Thanks to everyone who got an early peek and passed this book around or blogged about it; to all the Amazon Vine members who took the time to review it on that site; and to all the Goodreads folks who likewise threw their opinions into the interwebs.

The encouragement has been invaluable, and I'm just so freaking grateful for all the support … and relieved, and excited, because now it's out there for real — and I hope the rest of you will give this cheerfully weird little book a chance.

[Crossposted from my website. If you'd like to comment, you can do so either here or there.]

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Published on January 25, 2011 18:38 • 76 views

Hello everyone – I'm back! Yes, as usual, I was a terrible blogger while I was out of town; and I was a terrible tweeter, too … except for Saturday night, when I posted a whole bunch of pictures from the bar. Scroll around here to see them. I'd tell you all about who's in them, and what wackiness is going on, but I got accused of name-dropping on Twitter so NEVER MIND, THEN. Just go look. We had fun.

Actually, the entirety of Confusion 2011 was fantastic. It's as I said – Michigan has been very good to me; and honestly, I can safely assume that any event with Yanni and Brian involved is going to pretty much rock my face off. I can't recommend the convention enough, if you're a writer or fan-person who's curious about it. GO TO IT.

Likewise, I highly recommend Off The Beaten Path bookstore and cafe. Wonderful little indie shop with a speculative-fiction/steampunk leaning and a kick-ass owner who will bend over backwards for customers and guests alike. You want books? You live in the greater Detroit area? This is where you need to go.

Anyway! I'm back, yes – and playing catch-up like crazy over here. I had about 40 important emails in my inbox this morning, by which I don't mean Facebook notifications, spam, weird urban legend forwards from my mom, or hate mail … I mean messages that required my actual attention sooner rather than later. All this, in addition to all the assorted writer-business work that landed while I was out of town.

Therefore, please pardon the semi-perfunctory nature of this post because it is not quite 5:00 here and I can still make the post office if I hurry up, log off, and get this cat off my freaking lap. Have a good week everyone, and check back here in the morning. Tomorrow is a big day!

[Crossposted from my website. If you'd like to comment, you can do so either here or there.]

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Published on January 25, 2011 00:17 • 48 views

January 21, 2011

So ConFusion11 is awesome so far, for all that it hasn't really started yet. I spent Wednesday night at "Doma Decker" (with friends Yanni and Brian), then Thursday getting wined, dined, and shown around Detroit – mostly gawking happily at very old, nice houses and then quietly reconsidering my intolerance of cold weather when I learned what they cost.

Then, of course, there was the bookstore event at Off The Beaten Path. It was a most excellent night out! I rambled (as per usual), the store people were fabulous, and the crowd was amazing – particularly considering how crap-tastic the weather was. I counted about 45 people…? And I'd like to extend giant friendly thanks to every single one of them for making the trek through the snow and selling out almost my entire stock of books. Thanks also to the aforementioned store people, who put it all together – and to the ConFusion folks for being so accommodating.

Now I'm at the hotel, where I've taken a couple of hours to play catch-up on some stuff up in my room (stop: hermit-time); but that's about to come to an end. In about fifteen minutes I'm meeting the crew downstairs, and off we shall shuffle to supper. Following that , I believe I have a very big, very broad panel wherein I'm the Token Chick. (Not that I mind, considering the excessively illustrious company: Scalzi, Bacigalupi, Peter Brett, and Doselle Young).

And then it's on to opening ceremonies, lots of panels, lots of goofing off, and probably some running around yelling "WOO!" and hugging friends I don't see very often. You know. As it goes.

But first, I'm going to freshen up, stretch my legs, and throw on a sweater before heading out to meet the gang for noms. Have a good one, everyone – and may all your weekends be as awesome as mine is shaping up to be.


[Crossposted from my website. If you'd like to comment, you can do so either here or there.]

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Published on January 21, 2011 21:47 • 73 views

January 19, 2011

Getting ready to head out to the airport, everyone – so I'll catch you on the other side. I hope to see some of you out at the bookstore event tomorrow night (see previous post), and at ConFusion. Can't wait! Even though I hear it's wicked cold over there right now …

[Crossposted from my website. If you'd like to comment, you can do so either here or there.]

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Published on January 19, 2011 18:56 • 36 views