Howard Mittelmark
author profile
url
http://www.goodreads.com/profile/HowardMittelmark
born
November 21, 1957
gender
male
place of birth
The United States
website
influences
Everything, pretty much
about this author
I've been working as a writer and editor for a while, the last ten years largely as a ghostwriter/book doctor/editor-for-hire, producing novels and memoirs for people. My own novel, Age of Consent, was published in 2006. Meanwhile, I took everything I figured out reading hundreds of unpublished manuscripts over the years, and wrote How Not To Write A Novel with my friend Sandra Newman. It's sort of an encyclopedia of mistakes every beginning writer makes. It was published in April 08, and it's very funny. Really. You should take my word for it. However, if you're just not that kind of person, you can check out some excerpts at the website. I can't guarantee you'll write a good novel if you read it, but it would be very hard n...more
avg rating: 4.20
| 12 reviews
| 40 ratings
| 2 distinct works
* Note: these are all the books on Goodreads for this author. To add more, perform a search.
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How Not to Write a Novel: 200 Classic Mistakes and How to Avoid Them: A Misstep-by-Misstep Guide (Paperback) by Howard Mittelmark (Goodreads author!), Sandra Newman avg rating 4.16 — 64 ratings — published 2008 2 editions |
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Age of Consent (Paperback) by Howard Mittelmark (Goodreads author!) avg rating 4.43 — 13 ratings — published 2007 |
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* Note: these are all the books on Goodreads for this author. To add more, perform a search.
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11/13
Howard
is currently reading:
Resurrection (Paperback) by Leo Tolstoy bookshelves: currently-reading |
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Howard said:
"Sentimental, moralistic, heavy-handedly didactic pot-boiler, and the plot is about as relevant to the contemporary American reader as court etiquette, but you can sink right into it, get lost in this wonderfully foreign world.
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10/22
Howard
is currently reading:
Don Quixote by Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra bookshelves: currently-reading |
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09/10
Howard
is currently reading:
Four Arthurian Romances: "Erec et Enide", "Cliges", "Yvain", and "Lancelot" (Paperback) by Chrétien de Troyes bookshelves: currently-reading |
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| December 02 | ||
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Howard
gave
to:
Johnny Got His Gun (Paperback) by Dalton Trumbo |
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| November 27 | ||
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Howard
marked as to-read:
The Leopard (Hardcover) by Giuseppe Tomasi di Lampedusa bookshelves: to-read |
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Howard
marked as to-read:
Charlatan: America's Most Dangerous Huckster, the Man Who Pursued Him, and the Age of Flimflam (Hardcover) by Pope Brock bookshelves: to-read |
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| November 19 | ||
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Howard
marked as to-read:
Gone Tomorrow (Hardcover) by P.F. Kluge bookshelves: to-read |
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| November 15 | ||
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Howard
marked as to-read:
My Brain is Hanging Upside Down (Hardcover) by David Heatley bookshelves: to-read |
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Howard
gave
to:
Shortcomings (Hardcover) by Adrian Tomine |
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| November 13 | ||
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Howard
gave
to:
The Collected Stories of Philip K. Dick (Hardcover) by Philip K. Dick |
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Howard
gave
to:
A Farewell to Arms (Paperback) by Ernest Hemingway bookshelves: vaguely-remember-liking |
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Howard
is currently reading:
Resurrection (Paperback) by Leo Tolstoy bookshelves: currently-reading |
my rating:
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Howard said:
"Sentimental, moralistic, heavy-handedly didactic pot-boiler, and the plot is about as relevant to the contemporary American reader as court etiquette, but you can sink right into it, get lost in this wonderfully foreign world.
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Howard
gave
to:
Ghosting: A Double Life (Paperback) by Jennie Erdal |
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How Not To Write A Novel: The Bookfomercial
Howard Mittelmark
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"The Pop-Tarts page is often aflutter. Pop-Tarts, it says as of today (February 8, 2008), were discontinued in Australia in 2005. Maybe that's true. Before that it said that Pop-Tarts were discontinued in Korea. Before that Australia. Several days ago it said: "Pop-Tarts is german for Little Iced Pastry O' Germany." Other things I learned from earlier versions: More than two trillion Pop-Tarts are sold each year. George Washington invented them. They were developed in the early 1960s in China. Popular flavors are "frosted strawberry, frosted brown sugar cinnamon, and semen." Pop-Tarts are a "flat Cookie." No: "Pop-Tarts are a flat Pastry, KEVIN MCCORMICK is a FRIGGIN LOSER notto mention a queer inch." No: "A Pop-Tart is a flat condom." Once last fall the whole page was replaced with "NIPPLES AND BROCCOLI!!!!!""
— Nicholson Baker
— Nicholson Baker
The Haters Club
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Sorry Kids! The Haters Club is 18+ now.
NO PLUGGING YOUR BOOK HERE!!!!!!
It's tragic that in today's day and age that hate is so grossly undervalu...more
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What is the Axis Mundi? In some cultures it is a sacred tree, or a mountain; pyramids or temples. Rock clefts or a plant. A house or a tower. Some...more
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Hey Howard, thanks for the friend invite! I've always enjoyed your posts, though I'm pretty sure we've never dated either. There might have been a drunken night or two in Tijuana, but those don't count. Congrats on the books! I'm gonna get Age of Consent. How's the new one coming?
We might have dated. My experience is that the women I go out with tend to suppress the memory, so if you don't remember having gone out with me, that's a good indication that you did.
You're creepy? Goody! (Are you sure we never dated???)
Hey, are you gonna enter the Haiku contest in Mini Am? It's possible that I'm the only one psyched about it. But DAMN, I'm psyched! :)
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