Brad Barkley
Author profile
born
The United States
gender
male
website
genre
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Scrambled Eggs at Midnight
by Brad Barkley, Heather Hepler — published 2006 — 6 editions |
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Dream Factory
by Brad Barkley, Heather Hepler — published 2007 — 7 editions |
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Jars of Glass
by Brad Barkley, Heather Hepler — published 2008 — 7 editions |
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Alison's Automotive Repair Manual: A Novel
— published 2002 — 4 editions |
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Money, Love
— published 2000 — 3 editions |
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Another Perfect Catastrophe: and Other Stories
— published 2004 — 5 editions |
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Circle View: Stories
— published 1996 — 2 editions |
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Circle View: A Collection of Stories
— published 2013 |
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Money, Love: A Novel about Raising Your Parents
— published 2013 |
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Alison's Automotive Repair Manual
— published 2013 |
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“You can tell all of us are morphing into full-blown adults, wingtip adults, because all the time now the Big Question is, What are you going to do? After the summer, about your scholarship, about choosing a college, after graduation, with the rest of your life. When you are thirteen, the question is, Smooth or crunchy? That's it. Later, at the onset of full-blown adulthood, the Big Question changes a little bit - instead of, What are you going to do? it turns into, What do you do? I hear it all the time when my parents have parties, all the men standing around. After they talk sports, they always ask, What do you do? It's just part of the code that they mean "for a living" because no one ever answers it by saying, I go for walks and listen to music full-blast and don't care about my hearing thirty years from now, and I drink milk out of the carton, and I cough when someone lights up a cigarette, and I dig rainy days because they make me sad in a way I like, and I read books until I fall asleep holding them, and I put on sock-shoe, sock-shoe instead of sock-sock, shoe-shoe because I think it's better luck. Never that. People are always in something. I'm in advertising. I'm in real estate. I'm in sales and marketing. ”
― Brad Barkley, Jars of Glass
― Brad Barkley, Jars of Glass
“Cal: "I'm really sorry, Professor, but how do you explain these ? Swiss Cake Rolls. That doesn't rhyme; it's not cute; it's not childlike. And this is one of our most-respected snack foods, is it not? How is that, Professor? Hmmm?"
Eliot: "Well, isn't it obvious? We trust the Swiss for their ability to engineer things, to build with precision."
Cal: "We do?"
Eliot: "Do I even have to mention Swiss watches? Swiss Army knives? Swiss cheese? If anyone can build a non-threatening, non-lethal snack cake, it's the Swiss. They're neutral, we can trust them not to attack us with trans-fatty acids and sugar. I think you would feel differently if they were German Cake Rolls. North Korean Cake Rolls. I bet you wouldn't eat them."
Cal: "I bet I would.”
― Brad Barkley, Scrambled Eggs at Midnight
Eliot: "Well, isn't it obvious? We trust the Swiss for their ability to engineer things, to build with precision."
Cal: "We do?"
Eliot: "Do I even have to mention Swiss watches? Swiss Army knives? Swiss cheese? If anyone can build a non-threatening, non-lethal snack cake, it's the Swiss. They're neutral, we can trust them not to attack us with trans-fatty acids and sugar. I think you would feel differently if they were German Cake Rolls. North Korean Cake Rolls. I bet you wouldn't eat them."
Cal: "I bet I would.”
― Brad Barkley, Scrambled Eggs at Midnight
“Eliot, huh?" she says. The thin fabric of her long T-shirt brushes my arm. "Is everyone in your family named for a famous symbolist poet?"
No, I'm named for someone who was supposed to be in the Bible but isn't."
No? What happened to him?"
I glance over at her, the way the corner of her mouth turns up, half-smirk, half-smile. Her hair moves as she walks.
He was called to be a disciple, but he had, you know, stuff to do."
Stuff, like...polishing his sandals? Making lunch?"
We keep walking, over the bridge across the lake, past the swings and the playground equipment, just walking.
Exactly. And what about you, Calliope...is everyone in your family named after a...what is it? A keyboard? An organ?"
It's a steam-powered piano. It's also the name of the Greek goddess of poetry. You should read stuff other than chemistry; you'd know these things." Her smirky smile again, her sleeve touching my arm.
I feel like my skin has been removed, every nerve exposed. I open my mouth, and this comes out: "I think you are more goddess than piano." Stupid, stupid.
But she laughs. "You know, that's the nicest thing anyone's said to me today."
You don't see too many calliopes," I tell her.
I'm Cal, actually. I mean, that's what I prefer."
I meant the steam pianos...you don't see too many." She stops and looks at me, full-on, and right away I put it on the list of the best moments in my life.
Until you said that, Eliot, I wasn't fully aware of the demise of the steam piano, so thank you. Really."
I smirk at her and we both fight not to smile. "Okay, smart-ass," I say.”
― Brad Barkley, Scrambled Eggs at Midnight
No, I'm named for someone who was supposed to be in the Bible but isn't."
No? What happened to him?"
I glance over at her, the way the corner of her mouth turns up, half-smirk, half-smile. Her hair moves as she walks.
He was called to be a disciple, but he had, you know, stuff to do."
Stuff, like...polishing his sandals? Making lunch?"
We keep walking, over the bridge across the lake, past the swings and the playground equipment, just walking.
Exactly. And what about you, Calliope...is everyone in your family named after a...what is it? A keyboard? An organ?"
It's a steam-powered piano. It's also the name of the Greek goddess of poetry. You should read stuff other than chemistry; you'd know these things." Her smirky smile again, her sleeve touching my arm.
I feel like my skin has been removed, every nerve exposed. I open my mouth, and this comes out: "I think you are more goddess than piano." Stupid, stupid.
But she laughs. "You know, that's the nicest thing anyone's said to me today."
You don't see too many calliopes," I tell her.
I'm Cal, actually. I mean, that's what I prefer."
I meant the steam pianos...you don't see too many." She stops and looks at me, full-on, and right away I put it on the list of the best moments in my life.
Until you said that, Eliot, I wasn't fully aware of the demise of the steam piano, so thank you. Really."
I smirk at her and we both fight not to smile. "Okay, smart-ass," I say.”
― Brad Barkley, Scrambled Eggs at Midnight
Polls
This is the poll for the July group read. Don't forget to vote for the second book in the award winner category.
The Golden Compass/Northern Light by Philip PullmanPhilip Pullman
93 total votes
8 comments
Topics Mentioning This Author
| topics | posts | views | last activity | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Wild Things: YA G...: July WINNERS: The Golden Compass by Philip Pullman and Leviathan by Scott Westerfield | 47 | 88 | Aug 07, 2010 12:49pm | |
| The Seasonal Read...: Spring Challenge 2012: Completed Tasks -DO NOT DELETE ANY POSTS IN THIS TOPIC | 2344 | 529 | May 31, 2012 09:02pm | |
| The Book Challenge: * *A-Z Author Challenge* | 188 | 1848 | Dec 26, 2012 01:30pm | |
| The Book Challenge: * *A-Z Title Challenge* | 217 | 2281 | Mar 11, 2013 01:25pm | |
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