Celia Rivenbark





Celia Rivenbark

Author profile


born
Duplin County, NC, The United States
gender
female

website

genre


About this author

Celia Rivenbark was born and raised in Duplin County, NC, which had the distinction of being the nation's number 1 producer of hogs and turkeys during a brief, magical moment in the early 1980s.
Celia grew up in a small house in the country with a red barn out back that was populated by a couple of dozen lanky and unvaccinated cats. Her grandparents' house, just across the ditch, had the first indoor plumbing in Teachey, NC and family lore swears that people came from miles around just to watch the toilet flush.
Despite this proud plumbing tradition, Celia grew up without a washer and dryer. On every Sunday afternoon of her childhood, while her mama rested up from preparing a fried chicken and sweet potato casserole lunch, she, her sister a
...more


Average rating: 3.74 · 14,740 ratings · 1,754 reviews · 10 distinct works · Similar authors
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More books by Celia Rivenbark…

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“I really loathe [the bumper sticker] 'Proud Parent of a Terrific Kid!'

Why not a bumper sticker for the unlucky parents, something like: 'My Fifteen-Year-Old's in Detox and Not Speaking to Any of Us' or 'My Kid Robbed a 7-Eleven and is in a Center for Youthful Offenders.”
Celia Rivenbark, Bless Your Heart, Tramp: And Other Southern Endearments

[Home Economics Textbook from 1950]: "Prepare yourself. Take fifteen minutes to rest so you'll look refreshed when hubby comes home from work. Touch up makeup and put a ribbon in your hair. He's just been with work-weary people. Be a little gay. His boring day needs a lift."

Mama Celia: "Get knee-walking drunk. You've earned it. You've been with four kids under the age of seven all day. Put a ribbon in your nose and try to pull it out of your mouth. You're wasted, after all. Announce you're gay. The look on his face will give you a lift.”
Celia Rivenbark, Bless Your Heart, Tramp: And Other Southern Endearments

“I'd sooner wear white shoes in February, drink unsweetened tea, and eat Miracle Whip instead of Duke's than utter the words 'you guys'.”
Celia Rivenbark, Bless Your Heart, Tramp: And Other Southern Endearments

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  1 vote, 5.9%

 
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Moon Called by Patricia Briggs (write-in)
 
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Topics Mentioning This Author

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Mystery/Thriller ...: august 2010 - sandi 11 44 Sep 08, 2010 06:16AM  
Readers and Reading: This topic has been closed to new comments. August 2010 reads 25 82 Sep 19, 2010 09:12AM  
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Audiobooks: Recommendations? 41 109 Dec 23, 2010 12:08PM  


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