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Celia Rivenbark




Celia Rivenbark

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female

place of birth
The United States

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about this author

Celia Rivenbark was born and raised in Duplin County, NC, which had the distinction of being the nation's number 1 producer of hogs and turkeys during a brief, magical moment in the early 1980s.

Celia grew up in a small house in the country with a red barn out back that was populated by a couple of dozen lanky and unvaccinated cats. Her grandparents' house, just across the ditch, had the first indoor plumbing in Teachey, NC and family lore swears that people came from miles around just to watch the toilet flush.

Despite this proud plumbing tradition, Celia grew up without a washer and dryer. On every Sunday afternoon of her childhood, while her mama rested up from preparing a fried chicken and sweet potato casser...more




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avg rating: 3.67 | 1,747 ratings | 445 reviews | 12 distinct works | 18 fans
Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Ol... Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old Like a Skank: And Other Words of Delicate Southern Wisdom
by Celia Rivenbark
avg rating 3.62 — 605 ratings — published 2006
3 editions
my rating:
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We're Just Like You, Only Pret... We're Just Like You, Only Prettier: Confessions of a Tarnished Southern Belle
by Celia Rivenbark
avg rating 3.62 — 605 ratings — published 2004
6 editions
my rating:
didn't like itit was okliked itreally liked itit was amazing
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Bless Your Heart, Tramp: And O... Bless Your Heart, Tramp: And Other Southern Endearments
by Celia Rivenbark
avg rating 3.80 — 294 ratings — published 2000
2 editions
my rating:
didn't like itit was okliked itreally liked itit was amazing
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Belle Weather: Mostly Sunny wi... Belle Weather: Mostly Sunny with a Chance of Scattered Hissy Fits and Conniptions
by Celia Rivenbark
avg rating 3.84 — 133 ratings — published 2008
2 editions
my rating:
didn't like itit was okliked itreally liked itit was amazing
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You Can't Drink All Day If You... You Can't Drink All Day If You Don't Start in the Morning
by Celia Rivenbark
avg rating 4.31 — 35 ratings — published 2009
my rating:
didn't like itit was okliked itreally liked itit was amazing
add to my books
You Have to Start Early if You... You Have to Start Early if You Drink All Day
by Celia Rivenbark
avg rating 4.00 — 1 rating
my rating:
didn't like itit was okliked itreally liked itit was amazing
add to my books
Stop Dressing Your Six Year Ol... Stop Dressing Your Six Year Old Like a Skank
by Celia Rivenbark
avg rating 2.00 — 1 rating — published 2006
my rating:
didn't like itit was okliked itreally liked itit was amazing
add to my books
Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Ol... Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old Like a Skank
by Celia Rivenbark
avg rating 0.0 — 0 ratings — published 2006
my rating:
didn't like itit was okliked itreally liked itit was amazing
add to my books
Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Ol... Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old Like a Skank
by Celia Rivenbark
avg rating 0.0 — 0 ratings — published 2006
my rating:
didn't like itit was okliked itreally liked itit was amazing
add to my books
Belle Weather Belle Weather
by Celia Rivenbark
avg rating 0.0 — 0 ratings — published 2009
my rating:
didn't like itit was okliked itreally liked itit was amazing
add to my books
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"Severe isn't a word normally associated with a cold. Severe is for weather or third-degree burns...No one responds 'severe' when someone asks how her cold is.

In fact, nine out of ten Americans respond to 'How's your cold' with 'It sucks.' So there should be an It Sucks cold formula."
Celia Rivenbark (Bless Your Heart, Tramp: And Other Southern Endearments)
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"I really loathe [the bumper sticker] 'Proud Parent of a Terrific Kid!'

Why not a bumper sticker for the unlucky parents, something like: 'My Fifteen-Year-Old's in Detox and Not Speaking to Any of Us' or 'My Kid Robbed a 7-Eleven and is in a Center for Youthful Offenders.'"
Celia Rivenbark (Bless Your Heart, Tramp: And Other Southern Endearments)
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"[Home Economics Textbook from 1950]: "Prepare yourself. Take fifteen minutes to rest so you'll look refreshed when hubby comes home from work. Touch up makeup and put a ribbon in your hair. He's just been with work-weary people. Be a little gay. His boring day needs a lift."

Mama Celia: "Get knee-walking drunk. Youv'e earned it. You've been with four kids under the age of seven all day. Put a ribbon in your nose and try to pull it out of your mouth. You're wasted, after all. Announce you're gay. The look on his face will give you a lift."
Celia Rivenbark (Bless Your Heart, Tramp: And Other Southern Endearments)
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