Adriana Trigiani > Quotes

“That's when you know for sure somebody loves you. They figure out what you need and they give it to you -- without you asking.”
― Adriana Trigiani, Very Valentine

“I even love the smell of books.”
― Adriana Trigiani

“...I've made it my business to observe fathers and daughters. And I've seen some incredible, beautiful things. Like the little girl who's not very cute - her teeth are funny, and her hair doesn't grow right, and she's got on thick glasses - but her father holds her hand and walks with her like she's a tiny angel that no one can touch. He gives her the best gift a woman can get in this world: protection. And the little girl learns to trust the man in her life. And all the things that the world expects from women - to be beautiful, to soothe the troubled spirit, heal the sick, care for the dying, send the greeting card, bake the cake - allof those things become the way we pay the father back for protecting us...”
― Adriana Trigiani, Big Stone Gap

“Mom, how do you know if the guy is the guy?”

You mean if he’ll be a good husband?” She pauses, then says “The ticket is for the man to love the woman more than she loves him.”

Shouldn’t it be equal?”

Mom cackles. “It can never be equal.”

But what if the woman loves the man more?”

A life of hell awaits her. As women, the deck is stacked against us because time is our enemy. We age, while men season. And trust me, there are plenty of women out there looking for a man, and they don’t mind staking a claim on somebody else’s husband, no matter how old, creaky, and deaf they are.”
― Adriana Trigiani, Very Valentine

“When a girl is beautiful, she gets to pick - she never has to wait for someone to choose her.”
― Adriana Trigiani

“Life is a mystery to be lived, not a problem to be solved”
― Adriana Trigiani, Big Stone Gap

“But what Mom never told me is that along the way, you find sisters, and they find you. Girls are cool that way.”
― Adriana Trigiani, Viola in Reel Life

“All the things I thought I was - simple and plain and sometime funny - are very small words. They do not begin to describe me. They do not begin to express what is inside of me. I have value, and I have worth. I cannot be replaced like old shoes or taken for granted like tap water.”
― Adriana Trigiani, Big Cherry Holler

“Whever I came into the room, she'd light up, so happy to see me. No one ever in the course of my entire life was ever as happy to see me as she was. Looking back, now, I realize that you only ever need one person who lights up that way when you enter a room. One person is all it takes to give a kid confidence.”
― Adriana Trigiani, Don't Sing at the Table: Life Lessons from My Grandmothers

“The terrible things that happen to us in life never make any sense when we're in the middle of them, floundering, no end in sight. There is no rope to hang on to, it seems. Mothers can soothe children during those times, through their reassurance. No one worries about you like your mother, and when she is gone, the world seems unsafe, things that happen unwieldy. You cannot turn to her anymore, and it changes your life forever. There is no one on earth who knew you from the day you were born; who knew why you cried, or when you'd had enough food; who knew exactly what to say when you were hurting; and who encouraged you to grow a good heart. When that layer goes, whatever is left of your childgood goes with her. Memories are very different and cannot soothe you the same way her touch did.”
― Adriana Trigiani, Big Stone Gap

“I like it when my mother smiles. And I especially like it when I make her smile.”
― Adriana Trigiani, Viola in Reel Life

“We hang out, we help one another, we tell one another our worst fears and biggest secrets, and then just like real sisters, we listen and don't judge.”
― Adriana Trigiani, Viola in Reel Life

“A handwritten letter carries a lot of risk. It's a one-sided conversation that reveals the truth of the writer. Furthermore, the writer is not there to see the reaction of the person he writes to, so there's a great unknown to the process that requires a leap of faith. The writer has to choose the right words to express his sentences, and then, once he has sealed the envelope, he has to place those thoughts in the hands of someone else, trusting that the feelings will be delivered, and that the recipient will understand the writer's intent. How childish to think that could be easy.”
― Adriana Trigiani, Brava, Valentine

“Isn't this the truth of any good mother? That in all of our lives. We worry only about those we brought into this world, regardless of whether they loved us back or treated us fairly or understood our shortcomings.”
― Adriana Trigiani, Big Cherry Holler

“Relief is a wonderful emotion, highly underrated. In fact, I prefer it to elation or joy. Relief lets the air out of the Tire of Pain.”
― Adriana Trigiani, Rococo

“A good mother is irreplaceable.”
― Adriana Trigiani

“The only urgent thing in life is the pursuit of love. You get that one right, and you've solved the mystery.”
― Adriana Trigiani

“This should tell you everything you need to know about guys. They only go after what they know they can get. We girls, on the other hand, aim really high. We take a leap...”
― Adriana Trigiani, Viola in Reel Life

“I don't settle in any other area of my life when it comes to excellence, so why should I lower my standards when it comes to boys?”
― Adriana Trigiani, Viola in Reel Life

“Take nothing and no one for granted. Time used to be my friend, and now it’s a skittish acquaintance at best.

Let life unfold, say what you mean. You can’t always think about what you’ve lost, or what you don’t have, or what you didn’t get. Because when you do that, you’re missing out on the now. You can’t know if you’ll be here tomorrow or a year from now.”
― Adriana Trigiani, Home to Big Stone Gap

“Maybe a first love exists to reaffirm the best parts of yourself, the choices you made when you didn't worry about the consequences. Maybe a first love exists to remind you to be brave in the moment, to stand up for your feelings, instead of shrinking back in the face of potential loneliness.”
― Adriana Trigiani, The Queen of the Big Time

“The good things that happen to us were meant to happen, and the bad things that happen are lessons meant to teach us to be better.”
― Adriana Trigiani, Lucia, Lucia

“This is where men and women are different, we can put aside petty competition for relationships - they can't. It interferes.”
― Adriana Trigiani, Viola in Reel Life

“My mother was an avid reader...She loved books about romance. Books that took place in faraway places and times. Stories with costumes...”
― Adriana Trigiani

“I love you , Valentine’ is actually a popular phrase used in greeting cards.”
If you were sending me one, what would it say?” he asks.
I love you, too, Roman.”
And there it is, words that I dread to say and do mean, because with them comes the responsibility of owning it, moving forward together and deciding for real who we are to each other. Now we’re not just lovers discovering what we like and sharing what we know. In this mutual declaration, we’re accountable to each other. We’re in love, and now, our relationship has to build slowly and beautifully in order to hold all the joy and misery that lies ahead.”
― Adriana Trigiani, Very Valentine

“People have often told me that one of their strongest childhood memories is the scent of their grandmother's house. I never knew my grandmothers, but I could always count of the Bookmobile.”
― Adriana Trigiani, Big Stone Gap

“It [money] doesn't have anything have anything to do with the magnificence of a person. It doesn't. What matters is what you make. Whether it's a cake for bingo night or a costume for a saint or a wall of water--whatever you pour into this life is what makes you rich.”
― Adriana Trigiani, Rococo

“The wedding vows are a license to be a complete jerk, with full knowledge that the person you married has agreed, no matter how large a horse's ass you are, to stay by your side until death. A fool could tell you this is a bad deal.”
― Adriana Trigiani, Lucia, Lucia

“Two different things. Work is survival, and love sustains you. You have work anytime. But love? Not always.”
― Adriana Trigiani, Brava, Valentine

“This is one of those times when explaining a feeling cannot measure up to actually having the feeling”
― Adriana Trigiani, Viola in Reel Life

“.. its not so much about the shoes, but the person wearing them”
― Adriana Trigiani, Viola in Reel Life

“Our faces will become works of art that our grandchildren will treasure.”
― Adriana Trigiani, Don't Sing at the Table: Life Lessons from My Grandmothers

“Having a purpose is the little secret of the nonpretties. Something to do always beats something to look at.”
― Adriana Trigiani, Big Stone Gap

“Women give men a place to go. A man is a useless piece of equipment whose purpose is lost if it were not for women...

It's like this. A man might go out and get a job, but only for someplace to go during the day. And he's only working that job to give the money to his wife. And then, if he does really well...to buy her good jewelry. And only because she asks for it. Diamonds aren't a man's idea. The first woman sent the first man into a hole in the ground, and when he emerged with the first diamond she looked at it and said, 'It's too small. Dig farther." Men are not ambitious outside of their desire to impress women. A woman, in return, gives a man's life shape. A context. A place to go. It's very simple.”
― Adriana Trigiani, Brava, Valentine

“I have been a joy to live with all spring: Upbeat, warm and tender, uncomplicated, and loving. I am no trouble at all. You could press me into dough and make sugar cookies out of me, I've been so sweet.”
― Adriana Trigiani, Big Cherry Holler

“I don't use a crap camera, I don't eat junk, and I'm not going to a dance where the boys are bores”
― Adriana Trigiani, Viola in Reel Life

“When I observe Gram, I see how fragile the notion of tradition can be. If I take my eyes off the way she kneads her Easter bread, or if I fail to study the way she sews a seam in suede, or if I lose the mental image I have of her when she negotiates a better deal with a button salesman, somehow, the very essence of her will be lost. When she goes, the responsibility for carrying on will fall to me. My mother says I’m the keeper of the flame, because I work here, and because I choose to live here. A flame is a very fragile thing, too, and there are times when I wonder if I’m the on who can keep it going.”
― Adriana Trigiani

“Marriage is like working in a coal mine. You hack away in the dark, day after day, busting rock, and you think you're not getting anywhere, and then all of a sudden, this little sliver of sunlight appears and you say to yourself, "oh, that's what I've been waiting for--just a little light, just a little bit of hope--a sign, maybe, that will get me through. And...it does.”
― Adriana Trigiani, Brava, Valentine

“There's nothing an artist needs more - even more than excellent tools and stamina - than a deadline.”
― Adriana Trigiani, Viola in Reel Life

“sometimes things don't always go the way we want this side of Heaven”
― Adriana Trigiani

“Aprendi que viajar ainda é a melhor forma de alterar a vida, mudar as ideias e abraçar a inspiração, mas devemos estar de olhos bem abertos e ansiosos por agarrá-la, ou é um desperdício.”
― Adriana Trigiani, Very Valentine

“The only urgent thing in life is the pursuit of love. You get that one right, and you've solved the mystery”
― Adriana Trigiani

“I look at my roommates who are so proud of me that it makes me proud.”
― Adriana Trigiani, Viola in Reel Life

“This is something that I have learned at PA that I would have never learn at home because I have my own room and I'm an only. Nobody has it easy, not even the Great and Tall Blond One”
― Adriana Trigiani, Viola in Reel Life

“I used to believe my art had to be about the things that brought me joy and gave me hope. But I learned that art can be found in all of life, even in pain. --Valentine, while in Italy (pg 267)”
― Adriana Trigiani, Very Valentine

“Art makes the spirit soar. And when the spirit is lifted, life follows.”
― Adriana Trigiani, Don't Sing at the Table: Life Lessons from My Grandmothers

“Really? We are being herded on a bus to drive across town to an all-boy academy where we disembark and join our lonely counterparts on a dance floor. Sounds like a scorecard situation to me.”
― Adriana Trigiani, Viola in Reel Life

“... but that's the beauty of boarding school. I make all my own decisions, small and medium, while the big ones are left up to the Prefect Academy - and as far as boys go, to the only expert I know - Suzanne Santry”
― Adriana Trigiani, Viola in Reel Life

“Energy has to be fed from a source. If you don't feed the source, it dissipates entirely.
Same is true of liking a boy. If you cut off the thoughts, if you stop pinning, you're free to find a boy who is attainable.”
― Adriana Trigiani, Viola in Reel Life

“Do Italians tell you everything they feel without censor?”
― Adriana Trigiani, Big Stone Gap