Douglas Stone > Quotes

“The single most important thing [you can do] is to shift [your] internal stance from "I understand" to "Help me understand." Everything else follows from that. . . .

Remind yourself that if you think you already understand how someone feels or what they are trying to say, it is a delusion. Remember a time when you were sure you were right and then discovered one little fact that changed everything. There is always more to learn.”
― Douglas Stone, Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most

“The urge to blame is based . . . on the fear of being blamed.”
― Douglas Stone, Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most

“People almost never change without first feeling understood.”
― Douglas Stone, Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most