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Kyril Bonfiglioli quotes (showing 1-13 of 13)

“Bed is the only place for protracted telephoning. It is also execellently suited to reading, sleeping and listening to canaries. It is not a good place for sex: sex should take place in armchairs, or in bathrooms, or on lawns which have been brushed but not too recently mown, or on sandy beaches if you happen to have been circumcised. If you are too tired to have intercourse except in bed you are probably too tired anyway and should be husbanding your strength.”
Kyril Bonfiglioli, The Mortdecai Trilogy
“It was still only nine o'clock when I set off on the last leg of my journey, feeling old and dirty and incapable. You probably know the feeling if you are over eighteen. ”
Kyril Bonfiglioli, The Mortdecai Trilogy
“I never think of policemen's wives; their beauty maddens me like wine.”
Kyril Bonfiglioli
“There’s nothing like gunfire to drive the glamour from words.”
Kyril Bonfiglioli, Don't Point that Thing at Me
“she looked about as hard to get as a haircut and at about the same price.”
Kyril Bonfiglioli, Don't Point that Thing at Me
“Jock byl vmžiku u mne a vnutil mi do ztuhlých prstů jednu ze svých proslulých brandy se sodou. (Tajemství proslulých Jockových brandy se sodou spočívá v tom, že je dělá bez sody; je to jednoduchý trik, který si každý snadno osvojí.)”
Kyril Bonfiglioli
“Stiskl jsem zvonek, a když se objevil Jock, požádal jsem ho o kostku. Odpověděl, že nic takového doma nemáme a už nemá smysl pro nějakou posílat, protože každý slušný prodavač kostek už stáhl roletu a v zavřeném krámě se mucká s manželkou. A tak byla ta kostka, do níž jsem zestručnil a zaobalil svou odpověď v podobě NE, ryze abstraktní.”
Kyril Bonfiglioli, The Great Mortdecai Moustache Mystery
“she looked about as hard to get as a haircut and at about the same”
Kyril Bonfiglioli, Don't Point that Thing at Me
“I never drink alcohol. I do not like to blunt my senses.’ ‘Goodness,’ I babbled, ‘but how awful for you. Not drinking, I mean. I mean, imagine getting up in the morning knowing that you’re not going to feel any better all day.”
Kyril Bonfiglioli, Don't Point that Thing at Me
“You see, we anti-feminists don’t dislike women in the least; we prize, cherish, and pity them. We are compassionate. Goodness, to think of the poor wretches having to waddle through life with all those absurd fatty appendages sticking out of them; to have all the useful part of their lives made miserable by the triple plague of constipation, menstruation and parturition; worst of all, to have to cope with these handicaps with only a kind of fuzzy half-brain – a pretty head randomly filled, like a tiddly-winks cup, with brightly-coloured scraps of rubbish – why, it wrings the very heart with pity. You know how your dog sometimes gazes anguishedly at you, its almost human eyes yearning to understand, longing to communicate? You remember how often you have felt that it was on the very brink of breaking through the barrier and joining you? I think that’s why you and I are so kind to women, bless ’em.”
Kyril Bonfiglioli
“Martland has only two personalities – Wilde and Eeyore.”
Kyril Bonfiglioli, Don't Point that Thing at Me
“that season when we remind each other of the judicial murder of a Jewish revolutionary two thousand years ago by distributing chocolate eggs to the children of people we dislike.”
Kyril Bonfiglioli, Something Nasty in the Woodshed: A Charlie Mortdecai Mystery
“I very carefully levered up an eyelid and shut it again fast. A merciless sunbeam had squirted straight in, making my brain bleed.”
Kyril Bonfiglioli

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The Mortdecai Trilogy The Mortdecai Trilogy
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Something Nasty in the Woodshed Something Nasty in the Woodshed
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