Milton Berle quotes by Milton Berle





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"If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door"
Milton Berle
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"If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?"
Milton Berle
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"I'd rather be a 'could-be' if I cannot be an 'are' because a 'could-be' is a 'maybe' who is reaching for a star. I'd rather be a 'has-been' than a 'might-have-been' by far; for a 'might-have-been' has never been, but a 'has' was once an 'are.'"
Milton Berle
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"If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door."
Milton Berle
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""A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong." "
Milton Berle
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"Laughter is an instant vacation."
Milton Berle
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"if opportunity doesn't knock, build a door."
Milton Berle
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"Committee - a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours."
Milton Berle
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"I know why superman left krypton. Earth was the only place where he could get steriods!"
Milton Berle
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"If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands? "
Milton Berle
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"You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think."
Milton Berle
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"We owe a lot to Thomas Edison-if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight."
Milton Berle
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"I'd rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are; because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a star. I'd rather be a has-been than a might-have-been, by far; for a might have-been has never been, but a has was once an are."
Milton Berle
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"Jews don't drink much because it interferes with their suffering."
Milton Berle
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"When opportunity doesn't knock, create a door"
Milton Berle
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"A man falls down a flight of stairs and somebody rushes over to him and asks, "Did you miss a step?"

"No," he answers, "I hit every one of them!"
"
Milton Berle
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