quotes by Milton Berle

"If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door"
— Milton Berle

"If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?"
— Milton Berle

"I'd rather be a 'could-be' if I cannot be an 'are' because a 'could-be' is a 'maybe' who is reaching for a star. I'd rather be a 'has-been' than a 'might-have-been' by far; for a 'might-have-been' has never been, but a 'has' was once an 'are.'"
— Milton Berle

"If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door."
— Milton Berle

"Laughter is an instant vacation."
— Milton Berle

"if opportunity doesn't knock, build a door."
— Milton Berle

"Committee - a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours."
— Milton Berle

""A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong." "
— Milton Berle

"I know why superman left krypton. Earth was the only place where he could get steriods!"
— Milton Berle

"If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands? "
— Milton Berle

"You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think."
— Milton Berle

"We owe a lot to Thomas Edison-if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight."
— Milton Berle

"Jews don't drink much because it interferes with their suffering."
— Milton Berle

"When opportunity doesn't knock, create a door"
— Milton Berle

"A man falls down a flight of stairs and somebody rushes over to him and asks, "Did you miss a step?"

"No," he answers, "I hit every one of them!"
"
— Milton Berle