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Steve Martin quotes (showing 1-30 of 184)

“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”
Steve Martin
“Some people have a way with words, and other people...oh, uh, not have way.”
Steve Martin
“I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.”
Steve Martin
“I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.”
Steve Martin
“It's pain that changes our lives.”
Steve Martin, Shopgirl
“I saw the movie, 'Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon' and was surprised because I didn't see any tigers or dragons. And then I realized why: they're crouching and hidden.”
Steve Martin
“Boy, those French! They have a different word for everything.”
Steve Martin
“Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.”
Steve Martin
“Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.”
Steve Martin
“I believe entertainment can aspire to be art, and can become art, but if you set out to make art you're an idiot.”
Steve Martin
“You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.”
Steve Martin
“Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent.”
Steve Martin, Born Standing Up: A Comic's Life
“... you're nuts but you're welcome here.”
Steve Martin
“If you've got a dollar and you spend 29 cents on a loaf of bread, you've got 71 cents left; But if you've got seventeen grand and you spend 29 cents on a loaf of bread, you've still got seventeen grand. There's a math lesson for you.”
Steve Martin
“We've had some fun tonight...considering we're all gonna die someday.”
Steve Martin
“...it is not the big events that hurt the most but rather the smallest questionable shift in tone at the end of a spoken word that can plow most deeply into the heart.”
Steve Martin, Shopgirl
“First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.”
Steve Martin
“I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.”
Steve Martin
“How is it possible to miss a woman whom you kept at a distance, so that when she was gone you would not miss her?”
Steve Martin, Shopgirl
“I've heard lots of people lie to themselves but they never fool anyone.”
Steve Martin
“The banjo is such a happy instrument--you can't play a sad song on the banjo - it always comes out so cheerful.”
Steve Martin
“I gave my cat a bath the other day...they love it. He sat there, he enjoyed it, it was fun for me. The fur would stick to my tongue, but other than that...”
Steve Martin
“I would assign every lie a color: yellow when they were innocent, pale blue when they sailed over you like the sky, red because I knew they drew blood. And then there was the black lie. That's the worst of all. A black lie was when I told you the truth. ”
Steve Martin
“She has learned that her body is precious and it mustn't be offered carelessly ever again, as it holds a direct connection to her heart.”
Steve Martin, Shopgirl
“Be so good they can't ignore you.”
Steve Martin
“I understood that as much as I had resisted the outside, as much as I had constricted my life, as much as I had closed and narrowed the channels into me, there were still many takers for the quiet heart.”
Steve Martin, The Pleasure of My Company
tags: love
“I've got to keep breathing. It'll be my worst business mistake if I don't.”
Steve Martin
“I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper.”
Steve Martin
“It's so hard to believe in anything anymore. I mean, it's like, religion, you really can't take it seriously, because it seems so mythological, it seems so arbitrary...but, on the other hand, science is just pure empiricism, and by virtue of its method, it excludes metaphysics. I guess I wouldn't believe in anything anymore if it weren't for my lucky astrology mood watch.”
Steve Martin
“The operation was a success, but I'm afraid the doctor is dead.”
Steve Martin

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Born Standing Up: A Comic's Life Born Standing Up
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Shopgirl Shopgirl
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