Shelly Laurenston > Quotes

“Sissy Mae Smith...stumbled into the room loaded down with even more bags. "You pack like a woman," she snarled when she finally dropped the luggage to the floor. "How can one man have so much conditioner?"

His mouth filled with French toast, Mitch pointed at his hair and snarled, "Tawny mane! Do you think this shit stays this beautiful on its own? It needs care and love! Which is more than I'm getting from you!”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Squeeze

“But Sissy had a way of bringing out the "fun" side of anybody if she'd a mind to. To quote Janie Mae, "Sissy came out of my womb with her middle finger raised.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Attraction

“Conall checked his watch. Again. Soon his personal wet fantasy would be here. He wondered if it would be inappropriate to tackle her in the hallway as soon as she arrived and drag her up to his bedroom. Probably. Damn human etiquette.”
― Shelly Laurenston, Go Fetch!

“I know she's weird. Her friends know she's weird. And we all accept it because she's weird, but also amazing.”
― Shelly Laurenston, Beast Behaving Badly

“Okay. Let's see what we've got." He lifted up her foot and said, "Well, what we've got here is a freakin' boat."

Really?" She slammed her heel against the side of his face, snapping his head to one side. "How big are they now, Mitch?"

Rubbing the abused side of his face, "Dainty little elf feet?"

"Exactly.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Attraction

“You admit nothing. Deny everything. Demand proof. Did you learn nothing in Boot Camp?"
(Mace to Smitty)”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Event

“Zach - "Yes. And Tigers. And mountain lions. There's an array of shifters."

Sara - "Bunnies?”
― Shelly Laurenston, Pack Challenge

“Im not looking for marriage here, Zach. I just want to fuck her until one of us dies.”
― Shelly Laurenston, Go Fetch!

“Dear God in heaven.”
Nik and Ban turned away, but Alek stood. Transfixed. “My God, y’all. She’s the worst goddamn dancer I’ve ever seen.”
“Turn away. It’ll hurt your eyes. Turn away!”
― Shelly Laurenston, Here Kitty, Kitty!

“Do you mind if I ask you a question, darlin'?"

"Only if you stop calling me darlin'"

"Now where I come from that's a term of endearment."

"Really? Well, where I come from motherfucker is a term of endearment. Want me to start calling you that?”
― Shelly Laurenston

“Miki held up a tennis ball, looked at Sara’s new Pack, and tossed it out into the forest away from the ongoing rave. They all watched it go, then they turned back to Miki.
“Okay. Go…”
Sara and Angelina slapped their hands over their friend’s mouth before the word “fetch” could come out of it.
They pulled her over to one of the food tables.
“Are you out of your ever-loving mind?! Everyone here but us is like Sara.” Angelina snapped.
“And after seeing them in action I’d rather not fuck with them!”
Miki gave that innocent smile. “It was just a little experiment.”
― Shelly Laurenston, Go Fetch!

“Angelina leaned forward as Sara pulled Miki back to her, "You know what they say about curiosity? That it stabbed the annoying biker girl over and over and over again until she spit up blood.”
― Shelly Laurenston, Pack Challenge

“Are you going to tame our little Sissy, Mitchell?

Sissy rubbed her face, annoyed, and Mitch answered honestly, "I'm really too lazy to try and tame anybody. If I had my way, I'd spend all day sleeping under a tree, maybe rolling out occasionally to sun my belly, and then I expect someone to bring me food. I could live like that forever!”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Attraction

“Are you afraid?" Volker questioned while sitting at the table and getting comfortable.
"No. But I have incredible luck with dice and I am ruthless. You will lose, gentlemen. I will destroy your lands, take your women, ravish your men, and make your children my slave labor. I will own every castle, house, and farm that is within my reach. I won't be satisfied until I own all of it and you. I will destroy you all, gentlemen, and, to be quite blunt, I don't think you can handle it."
Van covered his mouth to keep from laughing out loud and he didn't dare look at his sister. Verner stepped back, motioning to the table. "Now I must insist."
"As you wish." Irene sighed and stood. She glanced at Van and gave him a quick wink before turning back to his uncle. "I do hope you're a 'sobber,' Mr. Van Holtz. Nothing I love more than the lamenting of the men I annihilate."

"I can't believe you made him cry."
"I did not. He just teared up a little."
"Yeah. I think it was when you told him, 'I now control your ports and own your manhood.'"
"His wife laughed.”
― Shelly Laurenston, When He Was Bad

“Before Van realized it, he was walking her back toward her stairs. He didn't stop kissing her, he wouldn't. The last thing he wanted was for her to change her mind. He managed to get her to the upstairs hallway before she pulled her mouth away. "What are you doing?" she panted out.
"Taking you to your bed."
"Forget it."
And Van, if he were a crying man, would be sobbing. Until uptight Irene Conridge added, "The wall. Use the Wall.”
― Shelly Laurenston, When He Was Bad

“Gwen stopped putting her money in the bag. "You're giving your father a picture of a door for his birthday?" And she'd thought Mitch marking up pages in her copy of Vogue and telling her, "This is what I'd get you for your birthday if I had money" had been cheap.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Squeeze

“You sniffed her ass, didn’t you?”

Conall didn’t even bother hiding his grin.”
― Shelly Laurenston, Pack Challenge

“You don't think before you do, then you're shocked when you end up on the wrong side of a shit pile.”
― Shelly Laurenston, Beast Behaving Badly

“A karaoke bar?" Mitch glared at him. "You dragged us to a karaoke bar?"

"She didn't tell me it was karaoke."

"You know it's bad enough having to listen to you guys howl all the time. But this...this may be asking too much. Dogs. Singing." Mitch turned to the bar and lashed Smitty with another glare. "And no goddamn liquor. You know, as per shifter law, I could legally kill you.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Beast in Him

“This conversation" - Dez rapped her knuckles against the Formica table- "is over."
"Be careful, Dez," Jimmy stated earnestly.
"And don't sleep with him the first night," Vinny warned. "We know what a slut you can be."
Dez turned to Sal. "Do you have anything to add to this bullshit?"
"Yeah." Sal looked down from the ceiling he'd been staring at. "Based on the structure of this building, if we removed that pillar back there, we could take out this whole block."
Dez sighed.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Event

“I'm not a whore, Dee-Ann. You can't just come here to use and abuse me before going on your merry way. Unless, of course, you're naked.”
― Shelly Laurenston, Big Bad Beast

“We're a 'we' now?" "I thought I made that clear the other night when I tied you face down to the bed and fucked ya proper”
― Shelly Laurenston, Here Kitty, Kitty!

“I don't know which will upset you more," she replied. "Telling you it's nothing but clutter or confessing that I often take it out and play 'I am Boba Fett' when I don't think anyone can see me.”
― Shelly Laurenston, Beast Behaving Badly

“You couldn’t handle being me.” She swirled her forefingers around her head and admitted, “All that goes on inside this head at any given time…would destroy you.”
― Shelly Laurenston

“I'd rather have rabies than be in love."
"Why?"
"Because at least you can get over rabies with some shots.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Event

“Heifer.”
“Rich man’s whore!”
“At least mine can cook the food he eats. And replaces it, too.”
“Now see, Dee-Ann Smith. That was just mean!”
― Shelly Laurenston, Big Bad Beast

“I think that lion females are really lesbians and the males are used strictly for their sperm”
― Shelly Laurenston, Here Kitty, Kitty!

“Gwen hates me,” she reminded him.

“Don’t be narcissistic. She hates everyone.”
― Shelly Laurenston, Big Bad Beast

“Do you think I’m pretty?”
Smitty glanced away from the computer screen he’d been staring at for the last three hours, looked at his sister, and shook his head. “No.”
“What do ya mean no?”
“You asked. Sorry if you didn’t like the answer. I always thought you were funny lookin’. Asked momma, ‘What is that thing laying in your bed?’ And she said, ‘I found it hiding under a car, you be nice to it now.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Beast in Him

“Smitty gave his best pout. “Why are y’all trying to hurt me?”
“Because it’s fun?”
“It’s easy.”
“I love it when you cry.”
Smitty sighed. “Forget I asked.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Beast in Him

“Momentarily forgetting this wasn’t one of her She-wolves, Sissy automatically teased, “Good thing
my brother likes women with meat on their bones ’cause your ass is gonna be gettin’ wide.”
As soon as the words left her mouth, she wished she could take them back.
But without missing a beat, Jessie shot back, “Cool. Now I can start wearing your jeans. I thought
that was only going to be possible during the late stages of the pregnancy.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Attraction

“Why don’t you admit I’ve been robbed of my musical career because society can’t handle my innate sexuality?”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Attraction

“Mitch stood. "How is this my fault? I'm not the one with the pussy that drains the life from a man!"

"And i'm not the one hung like an overendowed donkey”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Attraction

“Got any brothers or sisters?”
“No.”
“Not a real chatty gal, are ya?”
“Exactly how am I supposed to expand on not having siblings? Should I cry?”
He smiled as he held up a bottle, “Wine?”
― Shelly Laurenston, Here Kitty, Kitty!

“Forget he never wanted this in the first place. Forget he was convinced she might be clinically insane and definitely feral. The bottom line was, she ran. She didn't even stop to shower. She woke up, saw Zach lying next to her, and took to the Texas hills. Not a good sign when one was just starting out in a relationship.”
― Shelly Laurenston, Pack Challenge

“I'm a whore!"
Miki hit the brakes...her hands.. gripping the steering wheel, glanced at Sara. "You're not wearing any underwear, are you?"
Sara let out a strangled squeal...”
― Shelly Laurenston, Pack Challenge

“I never knew she liked country music," Smitty said in awe.

Yeah, that must make her prime mate material for a Smith. She'll fit right in at one of your hootenannies."

-Mitch to Smitty”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Beast in Him

“Zach shoveled another spoonful of Fruit Loops cereal with milk into his mouth. “It is not possible!”
“How do you know? Just because there’s no proof to prove it, there’s no proof to disprove it either.”
“You’re trying to make me crazy, aren’t you?”
“Not at all.” Sara put her bowl down. “I’m just saying there could be bunny shifters.”
“There are no bunny shifters!”
Shaking her head she accused, “You’re a bunny bigot.”
Zach threw his spoon back in the near-empty bowl. “And there is no such thing as bunny bigots.”
― Shelly Laurenston, Pack Challenge

“He’d never been to a wedding at a castle before but it fit the style of the bride, who brought geekiness to a whole new level. In fact, she was the one who’d told him to go. Wait. That wasn’t right. She didn’t tell him to go. She’d told him to, “Make a break for it! Before the
hounds of darkness come for you and destroy our plans to release our people from their enslavement! Go, Lachlan MacRyrie of the Clan MacRyrie. Go! And don’t look back, my friend!” It would seem strange to those who didn’t know her, but Lock knew it was simply Jessica Ward’s way of saying, “Could you look more miserable? Just go already!”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Squeeze

“Smitty leaned forward, resting his arms on this raised knees. "I am fixin' to get mad, Jessie.

"You're fixin' to get mad?"

"Yeah."

"Why don't you just get mad?"

"I'm not there yet. But I will be if you don't start talking to me."

Smitty to Jessie Ann”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Beast in Him

“I don’t hate you, you idiot. I’m in love with you. That’s why I’m panicking!” She marched to the door and yelled, “And our children will not be freaks!”

“Except their mother already is,” her father yelled back.”
― Shelly Laurenston, Beast Behaving Badly

“I swear, Santiago! You are an idiot!"
"I'm only trying to help you along. The guy is all over you and you need to let him know your're interested before some other biker slut, such as yourself, snaps him up with a well-timed blow job.”
― Shelly Laurenston, Pack Challenge

“It had taken him by surprise when the bride had asked him. Why would she
want him in her wedding? And that’s exactly what he’d asked her. She’d smiled up at him, those big, brown wild dog eyes of hers making him feel all protective of her, and then she’d told him, “Because, dude, you’re our karaoke king, and we worship at your altar.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Attraction

“Understand?”
“Sure.”
“Good.”
“’Cause I always love a challenge.”
He’d caught her with that when she was halfway in the cab. With one foot in and the other still braced against the curb, she stared at him. “What challenge?”
“You’re challenging me to get you back into my life.”
“No, I’m not.”
“Your exact words were ‘I challenge you, Bobby Ray Smith, to get me back into your life.’”
“I never said that.”
“That’s what I heard.” The beauty of wolf hearing. You heard only what you wanted to, made up what was never said but should have been, and the rest meant little or nothing.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Beast in Him

“How do you get rational, well-respected people involved in your insanity? I mean is it something you taught yourself to do or is it part of your sociopathic nature?”
― Shelly Laurenston, Bear Meets Girl

“He's just watching out for you, Desiree.' Dee patted Mace's arm. 'Bless his heart.'
Mace growled. 'I know that's not a compliment, Dee-Ann.”
― Shelly Laurenston, Big Bad Beast

“She still sighed out her answer, though. “Fine. I’ll go.”
“Now, darlin’. I know I’m pulling you away from playing grab ass with my oldest boy on
his nice hardwood floor…” Angie barely stopped herself from spitting out her mouthful
of coffee. “But if he’s anything like his daddy, trust me, he’ll still be here when you get
back.”
― Shelly Laurenston, Here Kitty, Kitty!

“It wasn’t until someone kicked his legs that Nik woke up. Alek, snoring beside him, his head resting on his shoulder. Ban snoring on the other couch, the noise rivaled only by the dog. He looked into the impossibly cranky face of Zach Sheridan. “Y’all get food?”
“We had a full refrigerator before you three got here.”
“Where I come from, we don’t let the refrigerator get empty.”
“Where you come from, you marry your sister.”
― Shelly Laurenston, Here Kitty, Kitty!

“Blayne turned her head to look at Gwen, but caught sight of Dee-Ann standing behind them.

"Ahh! Where the hell did you come from?"

"Momma says from the love she shares with my daddy," Dee calmly replied.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Squeeze

“Don't you see Blaynie." Mitch put his arm around her shoulders. "You're like an illegitimate little sister that I never wanted.”
― Shelly Laurenston, Beast Behaving Badly