Lenny Bruce > Quotes

“There are never enough 'I love you's.”
― Lenny Bruce

“Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.”
― Lenny Bruce

“If you can't say Fuck, you can't say, Fuck the government.”
― Lenny Bruce

“If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses.”
― Lenny Bruce

“The 'what should be' never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to it. There is no 'what should be,' there is only what is.”
― Lenny Bruce

“The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake three laughs in an hour - ha ha ha ha ha - they'll take you away, man. You can't.”
― Lenny Bruce

“Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will allow you to satirize it. Which is rather ridiculous, when you think about it.”
― Lenny Bruce, The Essential Lenny Bruce

“Liberals can understand everything but people
who don't understand them.”
― Lenny Bruce

“I am influenced by every second of my waking hour. ”
― Lenny Bruce, How to Talk Dirty and Influence People

“There is only what is and that's it. What should be is a dirty lie.”
― Lenny Bruce, How to Talk Dirty and Influence People

“You are a white. The Imperial Wizard. Now, if you don't think this is logic you can burn me on the fiery cross. This is the logic: You have the choice of spending fifteen years married to a woman, a black woman or a white woman. Fifteen years kissing and hugging and sleeping real close on hot nights. With a black, black woman or a white, white woman. The white woman is Kate Smith. And the black woman is Lena Horne. So you're not concerned with black or white anymore, are you? You are concerned with how cute or how pretty. Then let's really get basic and persecute ugly people!”
― Lenny Bruce

“Communism is like one big phone company.”
― Lenny Bruce

“…Catholicism is like Howard Johnson, and what they have are these franchises and they give all these people different franchises in the different countries but they have one government, and when you buy the Howard Johnson franchise you can apply it to the geography - whatever's cool for that area - and then you, you know, pay the bread to the main office.”
― Lenny Bruce, The Essential Lenny Bruce

“I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like "What I'm Going to be If I Grow Up”
― Lenny Bruce

“Even if you are Catholic, if you live in New York you're Jewish. If you live in Butte, Montana, you are going to be goyish even if you are Jewish.”
― Lenny Bruce

“If you live in New York, even if you're Catholic, you're Jewish”
― Lenny Bruce