T.J. Klune > Quotes

“I thought the whole point of having a gay brother was that they were supposed to be all cool and shit. I’ve got a defective gay.”
― T.J. Klune

“You want to know what it feels like to be castrated? Try having your nine-year-old brother protect you from your ex-girlfriend after you've told her you're in love with a man.”
― T.J. Klune, Bear, Otter, and the Kid

“There's nothing like being admonished by a nine-year-old ecoterrorist in training.”
― T.J. Klune, Bear, Otter, and the Kid

“You were the only thing that made me feel safe when the earthquakes threatened to break me. I needed you here because when you're not here, I don't have a home.”
― T.J. Klune, Bear, Otter, and the Kid

“You can’t tell a little kid that you swear to God over something and then not do it. You may effectively ruin my childhood.” He looks off into nothing, a wistful expression on his face. “Gosh, think of the therapy bills. Not to mention how I’ll probably never be able to have a normal relationship when I’m an adult. I’ll live with you forever and become a cat lady.”
I cock an eyebrow at him. “You hate cats.” He rolls his eyes. “Well, yeah, now I do. But I won’t have a choice. It’ll be inevitable. And I’ll probably have to throw birthday parties for my feline companions where I bake them cakes out of
Fancy Feast. All because you went back on your God swear.”
― T.J. Klune, Bear, Otter, and the Kid

“It’s not like I tease people with the things I’m doing,” the Kid continues. He deepens his voice. “Coming soon, I may or may not go outside. What will I choose? Find out… in another month.”
― T.J. Klune, Bear, Otter, and the Kid

“I’ll never understand why people just won’t let others be who they are. It’s not like it’s affecting them in any way”
― T.J. Klune, Bear, Otter, and the Kid

“Otter! Otter! Otter!
Don’t lead cows to slaughter!
I love you, and I know
I should’ve told you soon-a
But you didn’t buy the dolphin-safe tuna!”
― T.J. Klune, Bear, Otter, and the Kid

“Don’t even try to figure out where that came from. I assure you the logic chain in Bear’s head makes sense if you actually know him (and by ‘makes sense’ I mean in a Bear way), but for a newbie like you, it’ll probably just break your mind”
― T.J. Klune

“I’ll wait for you,” he said as his hand dropped to his side, as his eyes began to dim. “I think I could wait for you forever.”
― T.J. Klune, Burn

“Well, then, Otter, of course I don’t like Bundt cake. It has eggs in it. Baby chicken eggs. You don’t see chickens standing outside of maternity wards waiting to get our babies to make their Bundt cake, do you?”
― T.J. Klune, Who We Are

“I’ve never told anyone this, but anytime that I’ve felt sad or alone or angry or upset, I would pray to God to just make you come back. That I would do anything He wanted me to do if only you would walk through my door. You were the only thing that made me feel safe when the earthquakes threatened to break me. I needed you to come home because when you’re not here, I don’t have a home.”
― T.J. Klune

“I think you are seriously overestimating my dancing abilities. My kind of dancing usually ends up on the Internet, where people watch it so they can stop feeling sorry about their own lives. You know how people say they have two left feet? It's like I have no feet and my stumps are attached to wheels shaped like triangles.”
― T.J. Klune, Who We Are

“He gave me a lot, but it would have never been enough.” He looks thoughtful as he gazes back down at me. “It would never have been enough,” he tells me,” because it would never have been you”
― T.J. Klune

“Round 5: Telling him I felt bad about the puppy-shirt thing, I told him
we could go pick out a dog at the pound now that we had a yard for it.
Instead, I took him to the dentist. Winner: Bear “Rock Star” McKenna.”
― T.J. Klune, Who We Are

“I know that," the Kid says smartly. "Some people are just not meant to be together. But that doesn't mean you can't love them.”
― T.J. Klune, Bear, Otter, and the Kid

“He tethered me to him, my magnetic north, while my mind went here or there. I always knew. Somehow I always knew.”
― T.J. Klune, Bear, Otter, and the Kid

“Wait until you meet the therapist.
That bad?
Let's just say i can't believe he's a real person.
Like Santa Claus?
More like if Santa Claus and Ron Jeremy had a child and then that child had a child with Richard Simmons.
So, like a leprechaun?
Yes, Otter, exactly like a leprechaun.
I'm going to tell him I believe in Santa Claus, just to see what happens.
I dare you.”
― T.J. Klune, Who We Are

“Bear. It’s always been you. It will always be you. I love you, and that’s why it will always be enough.”
― T.J. Klune, Bear, Otter, and the Kid

“Seven smirked as he walked back over to me. "I gave you catharsis last night. Twice.”
― T.J. Klune, Burn

“... it's not about where you come from. It's about who you are”
― T.J. Klune, Who We Are

“If someone can care about me that deeply, despite all my faults, despite all my refutations, despite all my everythings, then that makes all the storms and all the oceans worth it.”
― T.J. Klune, Bear, Otter, and the Kid

“The fight for you was all I've ever known.”
― T.J. Klune

“But Bear said I shouldn’t talk to strangers because they would be scared of me. I always thought I was supposed to be afraid of them, but Bear said I would just end up talking them to death and that any nefarious purpose they might have had would become moot.
When Bear McKenna accuses you of talking too much, you know you have a problem”
― T.J. Klune

“Time is a river, I've learned. Always moving forward. But for people like me, people who have loved and lost, the river is something we fight. We swim against the current, trying to get back to the way we once were, trying to hold onto anything to keep us from getting swept away. It's exhausting and eventually we tire. Still we push on.”
― T.J. Klune, Into This River I Drown

“Nothing's too fast if it means forever.”
― T.J. Klune, Who We Are

“My name is Bear. I am a reluctant homosexual (or, at least, I resemble one). My boyfr—er, life partner (gag!), is apparently like a forty-year-old woman, and his biological clock is exploding all over the place, and we don’t know how to turn off the alarm. We need a woman (ha!) to allow us to put our sperm into her so that we can create the miracle that is life! You, as the surrogate, must not be crazy!!!!!”
― T.J. Klune

“He squints at the screen. “So, would you call yourself a… hmmm, that doesn’t sound appropriate… a ‘nasty come hungry bottom dumpster bitch’?”

I wish life was more like cartoons and a piano would fall on him and his teeth would become the piano keys as stars circled his head.”
― T.J. Klune

“Otter pulls me up to the bar and leans over. “What’s wrong? You stink!”
he shouts.
I glare at him. “I smell fine, you asshole. I used your cologne.”

He rolls his eyes and comes closer, his lips against my ear. I shiver. “I
said, what do you want to drink?”
― T.J. Klune, Who We Are

“After all, one does not scream at lesbians in Doc Martens unless one wants to receive a penis kicking.”
― T.J. Klune, Tell Me It's Real