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Gina Damico quotes (showing 1-30 of 90)

“Life isn't fair. Why should death be any different?”
Gina Damico, Croak
“The list of scars my students have sustained at the hand of your daughter grows longer each week. Poor Logan Hochspring's arm will forever carry an imprint of her dental records!"
"You bit him?" Lex's father said.
"He called me a wannabe vampire. What was I supposed to do?"
"Oh, I don't know--maybe not bite him?”
Gina Damico, Croak
“Seriously?" she said with a glance of skepticism. Driggs and this nerdlinger? "You guys are best friends?"
Ferbus looked up briefly to give her a smug look. "We prefer the term heterosexual life mates.”
Gina Damico, Croak
“She wished, as almost all kids wish at one point or another, that she could turn into a pterodactyl and fly away and never come back.”
Gina Damico, Croak
“Let me tell you something right now, something that I don't want you ever to forget: Starbucks is an abomination."
Lex was speechless. She now believed that there was no way in a million years this man could possibly be a blood relative.”
Gina Damico, Croak
“Momentarily forgetting how wind works, Lex tried spitting at him. This failed”
Gina Damico, Croak
“Let me go!" She tore off a mirror and brandished it in his face. "I mean it! I don't want to go to your godforsaken hellbarn, you retarded psycho farmer!”
Gina Damico, Croak
“For a moment she could have sworn she was standing in one of those history-comes-alive museums--the kind that feature animatronic robots, the narration stylings of James Earl Jones, and the sort of exhibits that invade children's nightmares for years to come. But instead of a cyborgish John Wilkes Booth discharging his deadly bullet into the back of a plastic Lincoln's head, a very real version of the assassin was engaged in a furious arm-wrestling match with Elvis Presley.

Lincoln was watching the tussle, amused. "Come on, John," he said. "You can do better than that."

"He's all talk," Elvis whispered back.

"Silence!" roared Booth. "I'm trying to concentrate!"

Lincoln rolled his eyes.”
Gina Damico, Croak
“The boy took a step toward her. Lex jumped back, her contentious instincts kicking in. "Stop right there," she warned. "I punch, I kick, and I feel compelled to warn you, I can bite harder than the average Amazonian crocodile."

He smirked and leaned against the doorframe. "And I feel compelled to warn YOU that the bathroom we now share has a leaky ceiling," he said, pointing up. "There's an umbrella under the sink, if you're going to be in here for a while.”
Gina Damico, Croak
“Hey there cutie," he said. "What's your name?"
Lex rolled her eyes and turned toward the window. "Kill me."
"Kimmy? I'm Steve," he went on undeterred.
"Cram it, Steve”
Gina Damico, Croak
“Just because it’s the biggest secret in the history of the world doesn’t make it any less true.”
Gina Damico, Croak
“Fine!" he relented, giving her a dirty look. "But only if you stay in front."
She rolled her eyes. "My, what chivalry."
"To hell with chivalry. Your idea, you die first.”
Gina Damico, Scorch
“A crash of cymbals exploded in her ear. She opened her eyes to behold Driggs clanging them vigorously, a mischievous grin on his face and a large bruise surrounding his eye.

"I hope, for the sake of your fertility, you're wearing a cup," she warned through clenched teeth."
"Come on," he said, jumping onto to the mattress. "It's time for work."

Lex moaned. "How are you so awake already?"
"If you recall, I eat a lot of chocolate.”
Gina Damico, Croak
“Ah, bribery." He grinned at his niece. "is there anything it can't do?”
Gina Damico, Croak
“Should she go on? Or drop it? Maybe this was one of those things that people should keep to themselves, like a hatred of baby pandas or a passion for polka music. Everyone needs a secret or two.”
Gina Damico, Croak
“Elysia!" Driggs interrupted. "Slow the hell down."

She grinned at Lex. "Sorry. I talk a lot when I get excited."

"That's okay," Lex said with an impish nod. "We all have our flaws. Driggs here loves Titanic."

"Really??"

Driggs folded his arms and studied the girls. "I can already see the ramifications of an alliance between you two. And they are troublesome.”
Gina Damico, Croak
“And what in the name of all this is disturbing did you mean when you said you're going to teach me how to Kill people?"

He snickered. "You didn't really think you were going to spend the whole summer milking cows, did you?”
Gina Damico, Croak
“He exuded the air of someone who hated this earth and everything on it and would be much happier if it just broke free of its orbit and hurled itself into the sun.”
Gina Damico, Croak
“What?" he asked.

"Nothing. Your bony hands of death amuse me, that's all."

"Wait until yours look the same," he said, preparing to scythe.

"Wait - what?" She batted the sapphire blade out of his hands. "What do you mean? Is that why everyone around here has such creepy fingers?"

"Yeah." He bent down to pick up his scythe. "I don't know why it happens, though. Probably the same weird reason our hair goes all wonky."

"What?" she barked, knocking his scythe to the ground once more.

"Stop that!"

"What happens to our hair?"

He gestured to the disaster atop his head. "You think I want to look like a drunken hedgehog all the time? It's from hanging out in the ether so much. It messes with your follicles or something. Doesn't happen to everyone, but I can assure you that Ferbus's wasn't always the color of a prison jumpsuit, Zara wasn't born Silvylocks, and Mort's been rocking the electrocution look for years. Look, yours has gotten straighter already."

Lex ran a hand through her hair. It had lost some of its poofyness. There had been so many other circuses of insanity to deal with that she hadn't even noticed. It was calm, manageable, even - she shuddered to think it - sleek and shiny.

"Oh my God," she said in disgust. "I'm a shampoo commercial.”
Gina Damico, Croak
“Driggs whispered to Lex out of the side of his mouth as they walked, "I never got grounded before you came here."
"You never touched a boob before I came here either."
"Touché." He flashed a goofy grin as Uncle Mort shoved him into his room and slammed the door. "Worth it!”
Gina Damico, Scorch
“We were just showering," Lex muttered.
"Of course," Uncle Mort said. "Everyone knows how impossible it is to zestfully clean without assistance.”
Gina Damico, Scorch
“What happened to YOU old partner?" Lex asked him. "Suicide I take it?"

He frowned. "Worse - business school. Can you believe it? Two years of Croak, then one day the kid decided he wants to be the next Donald Trump. So we threw him in a car, dropped him off near Woodstock and now he think he spent the past two years in a drug-addled haze at some hippie commune.”
Gina Damico, Croak
“Hi, I'm Driggs."
"Damn, boy. You're even cuter up close." Cordy looked him up and down hungrily. "Got any dead brothers in here?"
Lex made a face. "Cordy, ew."
"Doesn't hurt to ask!" She peered at Driggs. "Now tell me, what are your intentions with my sister?"
Driggs became flustered. "Um, I don't know. To love her...and, uh...honor...protect..."
Lex went red. "Driggs, shut up."
"Awkward." Cordy beamed. "Love it."
"We have to go," Driggs said in an unnecessarily loud voice.”
Gina Damico, Scorch
“Yeah, well, love doesn't always beat out the fear."
"Sometimes it does," he replied with a smile, pecking her on the nose.
"Christ, Driggs. You're turning into a Lifetime movie."
"Your defense mechanisms are captivating, as always.”
Gina Damico, Scorch
“Driggs, wake up." she shook him. "Driggs!"
"Whaaat?" he groaned, squinting. "Why again? With the shaking?"
She held up the scrap. "I just found this in your pants."
Driggs raised an eyebrow. "What were you doing in my pants?"
She smacked him. "Focus! Read what it says.”
Gina Damico, Scorch
“And you're going to help me find it."
"Oh, really?" he replied with a wry grin. "Why's that?"
"Because you promised to love me," she said in a dopey voice. "And, uh...honor me...and protect..."
He snickered. "Shut up, spaz.”
Gina Damico, Scorch
“You lied to me!"
"You're going to have to be more specific. What did I lie to you about this time?”
Gina Damico, Scorch
“They had completely failed to notice Norwood and Heloise storming out of the house, Uncle Mort scaling the ladder, and the fact he was now staring at them and had been for several minutes.
"Good grief," he said. "As if I didn't have enough to worry about."
Lex and Driggs jumped apart and wiped spittle from their mouths. "What's up?" Driggs said in a terrible attempt at nonchalance.
"Hormone levels obviously.”
Gina Damico, Scorch
“Where did you hear that?" he shouted over Driggs' cries of pain from the back seat.
"Driggs told me," she quickly answered.
"Thanks, pumpkin," Driggs groaned. "Love you too.”
Gina Damico, Scorch
“I wouldn't go around telling people about these shocks of yours."

"Why not?" Lex asked.

"It's like announcing to the would you have crabs. It's embarrassing, and no one'll ever shake your hand again.”
Gina Damico, Croak

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