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John Scalzi quotes (showing 1-30 of 134)

“Here's a quick rule of thumb: Don't annoy science fiction writers. These are people who destroy entire planets before lunch. Think of what they'll do to you.”
John Scalzi
“If you want me to treat your ideas with more respect, get some better ideas.”
John Scalzi, Your Hate Mail Will Be Graded
“I am not responsible for actions of the imaginary version of me you have inside your head.”
John Scalzi
“In general there should be gay characters in YA because a) surprise, there are gay folks everywhere and b) in my opinion as a father, there’s not a damn thing wrong with my child encountering gay folks in her literature, because see point a).”
John Scalzi
“1. Everyone is entitled to their opinion about the things they read (or watch, or listen to, or taste, or whatever). They’re also entitled to express them online.

2. Sometimes those opinions will be ones you don’t like.

3. Sometimes those opinions won’t be very nice.

4. The people expressing those may be (but are not always) assholes.

5. However, if your solution to this “problem” is to vex, annoy, threaten or harrass them, you are almost certainly a bigger asshole.

6. You may also be twelve.

7. You are not responsible for anyone else’s actions or karma, but you are responsible for your own.

8. So leave them alone and go about your own life."

[Bad Reviews: I Can Handle Them, and So Should You (Blog post, July 17, 2012)]”
John Scalzi
“It's easier to miss her at a cemetery, where she's never been anything but dead, than to miss her at all the places where she was alive.”
John Scalzi, Old Man's War
“Now, you may think that this is some sort of generalized hatred that I will carry for the lot of you. Let me assure you that this is not the case. Each of you will fail, but you will fail in your own unique way, and therefore I will dislike each of you on an individual basis.”
John Scalzi, Old Man's War
“I failed angst in high school. They let me graduate anyway.”
John Scalzi, Your Hate Mail Will Be Graded
“You would rather face a life without me than to have me choose a life I would not choose for myself.”
John Scalzi, The Sagan Diary
“There's a difference between the fact that the universe is inherently unfair on a cosmic level, and the fact that life is unfair because people are actively making it so.”
John Scalzi
“I'm not insane, sir. I have a finely calibrated sense of acceptable risk.”
John Scalzi, Old Man's War
“Get off my planet, you son of a bitch.”
John Scalzi, Fuzzy Nation
“The story of how I left Huckleberry begins -- as do all worthy stories -- with a goat”
John Scalzi, The Last Colony
“I didn't mind getting old when I was young. It's the being old now that's getting to me.”
John Scalzi
“In other words, crew deaths are a feature, not a bug," Cassaway said, dryly.”
John Scalzi, Redshirts
tags: humor
“Don’t discount that part of who he was just because you didn’t know it. None of us are all of who we are to any one person.”
John Scalzi
“I did two things on my seventy-fifth birthday. I visited my wife's grave. Then I joined the army.”
John Scalzi, Old Man's War
“The man reached into his coat and pulled out a wallet containing an ID card. "Agent Dwight, FBI. Miss Baker, I need you to come with me. You're in danger here."

"In danger?" Robin said. "In danger from what?"

"Not from what. From who," Agent Dwight said, and glanced over at Creek. "You're in danger from him. He's going to kill you, Miss Baker. At least he is going to try."

Robin turned to Creek. "You bastard," she said. "You never said anything about killing me when we made the date."

John Scalzi
tags: humor
“I'll say it: I want to see an ugly woman as a spokeswoman for a women's network. Ugly men are out there all the time – look at Larry King, for God's sake. He looks like someone's talking underwear. Why not give America a spokeswoman who ain't much to look at but is competent as Hell? If accomplishments actually count for women, this ought to be a no-brainer.”
John Scalzi, Your Hate Mail Will Be Graded
“I don't care whether I really exist or don't, whether I'm real or fictional. What I want right now is to be the person who decides my own fate.”
John Scalzi, Redshirts
“We've already established whoever is writing us is an asshole.”
John Scalzi, Redshirts
“If your social consciousness seems stuck in 1975, 2014 is gonna be a rough ride.”
John Scalzi
“Who are you and what medications aren't you taking?" Finn said.”
John Scalzi, Redshirts
tags: meds
“Sooner or later the Narrative will come for each of us.”
John Scalzi, Redshirts
“Jesus," Kerensky said, looking around. "You people. I have one of the most incredible experiences I'll ever have, talking with the one person who really gets me - who really understands me - and you're all down here thinking I'm performing some sort of time-travelling incestuous masturbation thing.”
John Scalzi, Redshirts
“But define 'completely ridiculous shit,'" Duvall said. "Does space travel count? Contact with alien races? Does quantum physics count? Because I don't understand that crap at all. As far as I'm concerned, quantum physics could have been written by a hack.”
John Scalzi, Redshirts
“The failure mode of clever is “asshole.”
John Scalzi
“I thought I saw him once, but it turned out to be a yeti”
John Scalzi, Redshirts
“Making people change because you can’t deal with who they are isn’t how it’s supposed to be done. What needs to be done is for people to pull their heads out of their asses. You say ‘cure.’ I hear ‘you’re not human enough.”
John Scalzi, Lock In
“Never anger a sci-fi writer. These people destroy entire planets over lunch. Imagine what they'll do to you.”
John Scalzi

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John Scalzi
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