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Jasper Fforde quotes (showing 31-60 of 400)

“…Tell me, has anything odd happened to you recently?
What do you mean, odd?'
Unusual. Deviating from the customary. Something outside the usual parameters of normalcy. An occurrence of unprecedented weird.”
Jasper Fforde, Lost in a Good Book
“Fiction wouldn't be much fun without its fair share of scoundrels, and they have to live somewhere.”
Jasper Fforde, The Well of Lost Plots
“You see? I know where every single book used to be in the library.' She pointed to the shelf opposite. 'Over there was Catch-22, which was a hugely popular fishing book and one of a series, I believe.”
Jasper Fforde, Shades of Grey: The Road to High Saffron
“True and baseless evil is as rare as the purest good--and we all know how rare that is...”
Jasper Fforde, The Eyre Affair
tags: evil, good
“Yes, and imagine a world where there were no hypothetical situations.”
Jasper Fforde, First Among Sequels
“What is there to forgive?. . .Ignore forgive and concentrate on living. Life for you is short; far too short to allow small jealousies to infringe on the happiness which can be yours only for the briefest of times.”
Jasper Fforde, The Eyre Affair
“Death, I had discovered long ago, was available in varying flavors, and none of them particularly palatable. ”
Jasper Fforde, First Among Sequels
“If you expect me to believe that a lawyer wrote A Midsummer Night's Dream, I must be dafter than I look.”
Jasper Fforde, The Eyre Affair
“I shouldn't believe anything I say, if I were you-and that includes what I just told you.”
Jasper Fforde, The Eyre Affair
“History has rewritten itself so many times I'm not really sure how it was to begin with -- it's a bit like trying to guess the original color of a wall when it's been repainted eight times.”
Jasper Fforde, Something Rotten
“How fishy on the fishiness scale? Ten is a stickleback and one is a whale shark."

"A whale isn't a fish, Thursday."

"A whale shark is--sort of."

"All right, it's as fishy as a crayfish."

"A crayfish isn't a fish."

"A starfish, then."

"Still not a fish."

"This is a very odd conversation, Thursday.”
Jasper Fforde, Lost in a Good Book
“Don't let anyone tell you the future is already written. The best any prophet can do is to give you the most likely version of future events. It is up to us to accept the future for what it is, or change it. It is easy to go with the flow; it takes a person of singular courage to go against it.”
Jasper Fforde, The Last Dragonslayer
“Ordinary adults don't like children to speak of things that are denied them by their own gray minds.”
Jasper Fforde, The Eyre Affair
“Have you ever wondered how nostalgia isn"t what it used to be?”
Jasper Fforde, First Among Sequels
“I didn't set out to discover a truth. I was actually sent to the Outer Fringes to conduct a chair census and learn some humility. But the truth inevitably found me, as important truths often do, like a lost thought in need of a mind.”
Jasper Fforde, Shades of Grey: The Road to High Saffron
“I have the death sentence in seven genres.”
Jasper Fforde, The Well of Lost Plots
tags: humor
“Sometimes I don't know whether I'm thening or nowing.”
Jasper Fforde, Something Rotten
tags: humor
“Ill-fitting grammar are like ill-fitting shoes. You can get used to it for a bit, but then one day your toes fall off and you can't walk to the bathroom.”
Jasper Fforde, One of Our Thursdays Is Missing
“The barriers between reality and fiction are softer than we think; a bit like a frozen lake. Hundreds of people can walk across it, but then one evening a thin spot develops and someone falls through; the hole is frozen over by the following morning.”
Jasper Fforde, The Eyre Affair
“Maybe those sorts of yes-or-no life-and-death decisions are easier to make because they are so black and white. I can cope with them because it's easier. Human emotions, well. . .they're just a fathomless collection of grays and I don't do so well on the midtones.”
Jasper Fforde, The Eyre Affair
“Fanfiction isn't copying - it's a celebration. One long party, from the first capital letter to the last full stop!”
Jasper Fforde, One of Our Thursdays Is Missing
“How many people want to read about three disreputable pigs and a dopey wolf with a disposition towards house demolition?”
Jasper Fforde, The Big Over Easy
“Humpty had always sat on walls, it was his way.”
Jasper Fforde, The Big Over Easy
“It's simple. If you go to see 'Saturday Night Fever' expecting it to be good, it's a corker. However, if you go expecting it to be a crock of shit, it's that, too. Thus 'Saturday Night Fever' can exist in two mutually opposing states at the very same time, yet only by the weight of our expectations. From this principle we can deduce that any opposing states can be governed by human expectation - even, as in the case of retro-deficit-engineering, the present use of a future technology."

"I think I understand that. Does it work with any John Travolta movie?"

"Only the artistically ambiguous ones such as 'Pulp Fiction' or 'Face/Off.' 'Battlefield Earth' doesn't work, because it's a stinker no matter how much you think you're going to like it, and 'Get Shorty' doesn't work either, because you'd be hard-pressed not to enjoy it, irrespective of any preconceived notions.”
Jasper Fforde, First Among Sequels
“To espresso or to latte, that is the question...whether 'tis tastier on the palate to choose white mocha over plain...or to take a cup to go. Or a mug to stay, or extra cream, or have nothing, and by opposing the endless choice, end one's heartache...”
Jasper Fforde, Something Rotten
“Mr. Pewter led them through to a library, filled with thousands of
antiquarian books.
'Impressive, eh?'
'Very,' said Jack. 'How did you amass
all these?'
'Well,' said Pewter, 'You know the person who always borrows
books and never gives them back?'
'Yes...?'
'I'm that person.”
Jasper Fforde, The Big Over Easy
“The cleanest souls are the easiest to soil.”
Jasper Fforde, The Eyre Affair
“Individual words, sounds, squiggles on paper with no meanings other than those with which our imagination can clothe them.”
Jasper Fforde, The Eyre Affair
“You many have noticed I have a temper ... but when I calmed down, I realized that this world, blighted and imperfect as it is, would be better with you in it.”
Jasper Fforde, Shades of Grey: The Road to High Saffron
tags: love
“Palindrome as well. My sister's name is Hannah. Father liked word games. He was fourteen times World Scrabble Champion. When he died, we buried him at Queenzieburn to make use of the triple word score.”
Jasper Fforde, The Big Over Easy


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