"You see, that is the sad, sorry, terrible thing about sarcasm.

It's really funny."
— Brandon Sanderson (Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians)

"By now, it is probably very late at night, and you have stayed up to read this book when you should have gone to sleep. If this is the case, then I commend you for falling into my trap. It is a writer's greatest pleasure to hear that someone was kept up until the unholy hours of the morning reading one of his books. It goes back to authors being terrible people who delight in the suffering of others. Plus, we get a kickback from the caffeine industry..."
— Brandon Sanderson (Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians)

"People can do great things. However, there are some things they just CAN'T do. I, for instance, have not been able to transform myself into a Posicle, despite years of effort."
— Brandon Sanderson (Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians)

"Personally, I say, "Out of the frying pan and into the deadly pit filled with sharks who are wielding chainsaws with killer kittens stapled to them." However, that one's having a rough time catching on."
— Brandon Sanderson (Alcatraz Versus the Scrivener's Bones)

"So, there I was, tied to an altar made from outdated encyclopedias, about to get sacrificed to the dark powers by a cult of evil Librarians.
"
— Brandon Sanderson (Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians)

"My behavior is nonetheless, deplorable. Unfortunately, I'm quite prone to such bouts of deplorability--take for instance, my fondness for reading books at the dinner table."
— Brandon Sanderson (Mistborn: The Final Empire)

"Belief isn't simply a thing for fair times and bright days...What is belief - what is faith - if you don't continue in it after failure?...Anyone can believe in someone, or something that always succeeds...But failure...ah, now, that is hard to believe in, certainly and truly. Difficult enough to have value. Sometimes we just have to wait long enough...then we find out why exactly it was that we kept believing...There's always another secret."
— Brandon Sanderson (Mistborn: The Final Empire)

"I've always been very confident in my immaturity."
— Brandon Sanderson (Mistborn: The Final Empire)

"Personally, I like it much better when someone else does the decision making. That way you have legitimate grounds to whine and complain. I tend to find both whining and complaining quite interesting and amusing, though sometimes--unfortunately--it's hard to choose which one of the two I want to do.
Sigh. LIfe can be so tough sometimes."
— Brandon Sanderson (Alcatraz Versus the Scrivener's Bones)

"Elend: "Each moment you fight is a gift to those in this cavern. Each second we fight is a second longer that thousands of people can draw breath. Each stroke of the sword, each koloss felled, each breath earned is another victory! It is a person protected for a moment longer, a life extended, an enemy frusturated!"
There was a brief pause.
"In the end they shall kill us. But first they shall fear us!""
— Brandon Sanderson (The Hero of Ages)

"Authors also create lovable, friendly characters, then proceed to do terrible things to them, like throw them in unsightly librarian-controlled dungeons. This makes readers feel hurt and worried for the characters. The simple truth is that authors like making people squirm. If this weren't the case, all novels would be filled completely with cute bunnies having birthday parties."
— Brandon Sanderson (Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians)

"Regardless, I often wish that the two groups - adults and kids - could find a way to get along better. Some sort of treaty or something. The biggest problem is, the adults have one of the most effective recruitment strategies in the world.

Give them enough time, and they'll turn any kid into one of them."
— Brandon Sanderson (Alcatraz Versus the Scrivener's Bones)

"It's easy to believe in something when you win all the time...The losses are what define a man's faith."
— Brandon Sanderson (The Well of Ascension)

"Remember, despite the fact that this book is being sold as a 'fantasy' novel, you must take all of the things it says extremely seriously, as they are quite important, are in no way silly, and always make sense.

Rutabaga."
— Brandon Sanderson (Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians)

"Eternity ended ten years ago."
— Brandon Sanderson

"If you're always on time, it implies that you never have anything better you should be doing. -Kelsier"
— Brandon Sanderson

"If you don't believe what I'm telling you, then ask yourself this: would any decent, kind-hearted individual become a writer? Of course not."
— Brandon Sanderson (Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians)

"You should try not to talk so much, friend. You'll sound far less stupid that way.

- Breeze"
— Brandon Sanderson (Mistborn: The Final Empire)

""Marsh: Our best efforts were never even a mild annoyance to the Lord Ruler."
"Kelsier: Ah, but being an annoyance is something that I am very good at. In fact, I'm far more than just a 'mild' annoyance--people tell me I can be downright frustrating. Might as well use this talent for the cause of good, eh?""
— Brandon Sanderson (Mistborn: The Final Empire)

"Remember, the past need not become our future as well."
— Brandon Sanderson (Elantris)

"Well Vin says that there's something behind all this, right? Some evil force of doom or whatever? Well, if I were said force of doom, then I certainly wouldn't have used my powers to turn the land black. It just lacks flair. Red. Now, that would be an interesting color. Think of the possibilities--if the ash were red, the rivers would run like blood. Black is so monotonous that you can forget about it, but red--you'd always be thinking, 'Why, look at that. That hill is red. That evil force of doom trying to destroy me certainly has style."
— Brandon Sanderson (The Hero of Ages)

"To live is to have worries and uncertainties. Keep them inside, and they will destroy you for certain--leaving behind a person so callused that emotion can find no root in his heart."
— Brandon Sanderson (Elantris)

"Unknowing ignorance is preferable to informed stupidity."
— Brandon Sanderson (Warbreaker)

"One cannot seperate truth from actions...Physically inevitable or not, truth stands above all things. It is independant of who has the best army, who can deliver the longest sermons, or even who has the most priests. It can be pushed down, but it will always surface. Truth is the one thing you can never intimidate."
— Brandon Sanderson (Elantris)

"I froze, shocked. (And don't try to clam that you did anything different the first time a government bureaucrat pulled a gun on you.)"
— Brandon Sanderson (Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians)

"'There's always another secret.' -Kelsier"
— Brandon Sanderson (Mistborn: The Final Empire)

"What did it mean to be called “lord”? I’ll assume you’ve never had the honor, since I doubt any of you happen to be British royalty. (And, if by chance you are, then let me say, “Hello, Your Majesty! Welcome to my stupid book. Can I borrow some cash?”)"
— Brandon Sanderson

"Llarimar had told him to do his best. That sounded like an awful lot of work. Unfortunately, doing nothing was beginning to seem like even MORE work."
— Brandon Sanderson (Warbreaker)

"You're a very difficult person to manipulate, you know."
"Nonsense," he said. "You just have to promise me that I won't have to do a thing, and then I'll do anything you want."
"Anything?"
"Anything that doesn't require doing anything."
"That's nothing, then."
"Is it?"
"Yes."
"Well, that's something."
— Brandon Sanderson (Warbreaker)

"I'm convinced that responsibility is some kind of psychological disease."
— Brandon Sanderson (Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia)

"It was strange, how easily and quickly protection could cause destruction. Sometimes, Vasher wondered if the two weren't really the same thing. Protect a flower, destroy pests who wanted to feed on it. Protect a building, destroy the plants that could have grown in the soil. Protect a man. Live with the destruction he creates."
— Brandon Sanderson (Warbreaker)

"My dear, did you just try to prove the existence of God through the use of your cleavage?"
— Brandon Sanderson (Warbreaker)

"Spook: No, I'm not troubled. In fact, I actually think everything is going to be all right. Finally."
— Brandon Sanderson (The Hero of Ages)

"'But you can't kill me, Lord Tyrant. I represent that one thing you've never been able to kill, no matter how hard you try. I am hope.' ~ Kelsier"
— Brandon Sanderson (Mistborn: The Final Empire)

""Those who take lightly promises they make to those they love are people who find little lasting satisfaction in life. This is not an easy time in which to live. That does not mean that it has to be a difficult time to love, but it does mean that you will find unusual stresses upon your lives and your relationship.""
— Brandon Sanderson (The Well of Ascension)

"Sometimes it was daunting, knowing how easily I could break things. This one simple curse seemed to dominate my entire life."
— Brandon Sanderson (Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians)

"That isn’t greatness. That’s just foolishness."
— Brandon Sanderson (The Hero of Ages)

""Katar," Raoden called.
"Yes, My Lord?"
"Do you know what it is? The secret, I mean?"
Kahar smiled. "I havent't been hungry in days, my lord. It is the most amazing feeling in the world-I don't evern notice the pain anymore." Raoden nodded, and Kahar left. The man had come looking for a magical solution to his woes, but he had found an answer much more simple. Pain lost its power when other things became more importan. Kahar didn't need a potion or an Aon to save him-he just needed something to do. (Page 178)"
— Brandon Sanderson (Elantris)

"Yes, Bastille. I keep trying to get killed because it's inconvenient for you."
— Brandon Sanderson (Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia)

"I try to avoid having thoughts. They lead to other thoughts, and—if you’re not careful—those lead to actions. Actions make you tired. I have this on rather good authority from someone who once read it in a book."
— Brandon Sanderson

"'How do you accidentally kill a lord in his own manor?'

'with a knife to the chest...well a pair of knives actually, one can never be too careful' "
— Brandon Sanderson

"Getting cut off from the knights' magic rock also required a period of exile from their giant glass mushroom.
(Those of you in the Hushlands, I dare you to work that last sentence into a conversation. "By the way, Sally, did you know that getting cut from the knight's magic rock also requires a period of exile from their giant glass mushroom?")

"
— Brandon Sanderson

"'I continue to wonder,' he said, glancing down at Min, 'why you all assume that I am too dense to see what you find so obvious. Yes, Nynaeve. Yes, this hardness will destroy me. I know.' ...

'You all claim that I have grown too hard, that I will inevitably shatter and break if I continue on. But you assume that there needs to be something left of me to continue on. ...

'That's the key, Nynaeve. I see it now. I will not live through this, and so I don't need to worry about what might happen to me after the Last Battle. I don't need to hold back, don't need to salvage anything of this beaten up soul of mine.'"
— Brandon Sanderson (The Gathering Storm)

"'Then tell me this: How do I outthink an enemy I know is smarter than I am?' ...

'I face some of the most crafty people who have ever lived. My current foe understands the minds of others in a way that I cannot hope to match. So how do I defeat her? She will vanish the moment I threaten her, running to one of a dozen other refuges that she is sure to have set up. ...

'I have to peer into her eyes, see into her soul, and know that it's her that I face and not some decoy. I have to do that without frightening her into running. How?'

***

'The question remains,' he said, voice soft but tense. 'How would you fight her, Nynaeve?'

'I don't care to play your games, Rand al'Thor,' Nynaeve replied with a huff. 'You've obviously already decided what you intend to do. Why ask me?'

'Because what I'm about to do should frighten me,' he said. 'It doesn't.'"
— Brandon Sanderson (The Gathering Storm)

"'You are out of control, Rand al'Thor,' she declared.

'I do what must be done,' he said, speaking now from the shadows. He sounded exhausted. ...

'I hate what you just did, Rand,' Nynaeve snarled. 'No, "Hate" isn't strong enough. I loathe what you've done. What has happened to you?'

'Test him!' Rand whispered, voice dangerous. 'Before condemning me, let us first determine if my sins have achieved anything beyond my own damnation.'"
— Brandon Sanderson (The Gathering Storm)