Jean Shepherd > Quotes

“I had woven a tapestry of obscenity that as far as I know is still hanging in space over Lake Michigan. ”
― Jean Shepherd, A Christmas Story: The Book That Inspired The Hilarious Classic Film

“Semicolon, you dolt!”
― Jean Shepherd, A Christmas Story: The Book That Inspired The Hilarious Classic Film

“Randy lay there like a slug. It was his only defense.”
― Jean Shepherd

“There are fewer things more thrilling in life than lumpy letters. That rattle.”
― Jean Shepherd, In God We Trust: All Others Pay Cash

“The Bumpuses were so low down on the evolutionary totem pole that they weren't even included in Darwin's famous family tree. They had inbred and ingrown and finally emerged from the Kentucky hills like some remnant of Attila the Hung's barbarian horde. Flick said that they had webbed feet and only three toes. It might have been true.”
― Jean Shepherd, A Christmas Story: The Book That Inspired The Hilarious Classic Film

“What the hell time is it?" muttered the old man. He was always an aggressive sleeper. Sleep was one of the things he did best, and he loved it. Some look upon sleep as an unfortunate necessary interruption of life; but there are others who hold that sleep is life, or at least one of the more fulfilling aspects of it, like eating or sex. Any time my old man's sleep was interrupted, he became truly dangerous.”
― Jean Shepherd, Wanda Hickey's Night of Golden Memories: And Other Disasters

“Whither goest all of us, huh...for cryin' out loud?”
― Jean Shepherd